Some Things I've Learned From Being a Parent

1. Your kids will not tell any lies until they can talk.
2. Two year olds will try and hide their mistakes, but not very successfully.
   
3. It is really hard not to get mad over spilled milk especially when it is the third time that day, or you have just spent 40 minutes washing the floors.
4. All diapers leak, especially when you don't remember to change them until they do.
5. All parents will do things they thought they never would-- like smelling some one else's bottom on a regular basis.
6. Dinner conversations with your children will often involve feces and vomit. But that is okay, because parents are good at sneaking in more food and tastier food once the kids are in bed.
7. Mothers learn to eat things their kids don't like just so they don't have to share. Jalapeno peppers are good on almost anything.
8. There must be a rule given to children in Heaven that says: Whenever your parents have to get up extra early be sure to be more difficult about going to bed and wake up three or four times in the middle of the night.
9. Don't ever ask your kids where they want to go out to eat unless you already want to eat at McDonald's.
10. Kids will sleep in every day that they have to get up early, but they will have no problem getting up at 6:50 Saturday morning to make it in time for 7am cartoons.