Saving Our Boys

Since, I have 4 of them, I think about boys a lot. The world has turned. It used to be difficult for girls. Today, girls are more successful than ever. But as things have become easier for girls to become educated and  have successful careers, things have become more difficult for the boys.

Today you hear statistics about how 60% of women are college educated while only 40% of men are. How boys are failing in school; how teachers teach toward girls, and boys are just left behind. Then there is the problem of video games, and pornography available everywhere.

I meet a lot of amazing women who are beautiful, intelligent, and successful. Yet, they are not married, even though they would choose to be so. Where are the men? Birthrates are still around 50/50 in the United States. Many of them are on the computer, addicted to video games and pornography. They are stuck, and they do not know how to escape.

Today's surveys have found that even among Christian men, pornography addiction is about 50%.

Neuroscientist and researcher Dr. William M. Struthers researched why, and wrote a book called, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain.  

 Struthers writes, "The simplest explanation for why men view pornography ... is they are driven to seek out sexual intimacy... Satisfying this drive is pleasurable. Sexual intercourse and the naked form of women are enjoyable, as designed by God to be." He continues, "The male brain is built like an ideal pornography receiver, wired to be on the alert for these images of nakedness... the images of sexuality grab our attention, jumping out and hypnotizing a man like an HD television among a sea of standard televisions."

All types of media, know this to be true. We cannot drive down the highway in our city with out being faced with billboard sized women in bikinis. We cannot go to a grocery or department store with out seeing magazines full of nearly naked, and sexually poised women. The internet is very dangerous. Adds with women practically naked or top naked pop up unless there is a good way to block it. Even then, pornographic images get through. The pornography industries is a billion dollar industry. And it is killing our boys.

Through his neurological research, Struthers has found, "As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on these images, the exposure to them creates neural pathways. These Neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. ...They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. Every woman they come into contact with is objectified, undressed and evaluated as a willing (or unwilling) mental sexual partner."

What this means is that the more pornography a boy or a man views, the more his brain changes and the more addicted and the more trapped he becomes by his own brain.

Struthers said that saying "my brain made me do it" is not an excuse for sin.

He continues, "A man with a properly oriented conscience and filled with the Spirit values the image of God in women and has trained his mind to take sexual thoughts captive."

So what is to be done? I do not have a good answer. In our home, we monitor the internet, and use child protection software. We read our children's books or at least look through them before handing them over. We do not allow barbies or any other immodest girl toy into the house. We use a Clear Play DVD player and even then we are very careful about what movies we watch. We talk about pornography. We talk about what to do if something pops up on the computer. We talk about what to do if a friend shares pornography. Our daughters warn the boys to look away if there is an immodest image while we are out. We teach about the atonement.

Still, I know that my boys and my husband cannot completely avoid pornography.  They need to know what the are up against. Yesterday's world was a tough place for girls. Today's world is a very dangerous place for boys.

Thanksgiving This Year

No more stomach flu! I love when the flu only hits one person!

We had a great time. The turkey came out 3 hours late, but I didn't care because I wasn't cooking it. Plus, Grandpa made BBQ ribs and tort with raspberry sauce. Who could complain?

Everything I baked came out well, and I was particularly happy that no one ate my pumpkin pies, so we had pumpkin pie for breakfast and lunch for 2 days straight!

This thanksgiving, I am thankful for leftovers.

Next year, we are bringing banana splits with 4 or 5different kids of ice cream, candy bars, sprinkles, cherries, strawberries, different sauces, and I am not making any pies. Let's hope there will be leftovers next year too.

Something to be Grateful For

Occasionally something I loathe lends me gratitude. I loathe puking. I didn't puke at all between the ages of 10 and 20. I was never even a little tempted by alcohol no matter what my friends said because I couldn't understand why anyone would purposely drink something that could make them puke. I actually debated with myself over having children because barf horrified me so much. Of course, everyone knows how that decision turned out. I am not so terrified from puke anymore, but I still loathe it.

Yesterday, Rachel was sick. She wasn't immensely sick. She had a fever and vomited once. But, she didn't like being sick. So she prayed. Rachel prayed a lot and hard. Every time she thought she was going to puke, she prayed that she would not.

Rachel is my child that always says scriptures, and church, and almost anything spiritual is boring. She has been the hardest to get to come for family prayer and family scripture study. As a mother raising a child in today's  world of "whateverism", I have been a little concerned. So, today, as I ponder my blessings, I am most grateful for illnesses that bring us to our Heavenly Father, even if that illness ruins Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Through the Years

In  1997, we lived with John's family. I begged his family to let me make orange rolls, and so for the first time, I made bread. They were delicious and perfect.

In 1998, I  made an entire Thanksgiving dinner all by myself. It was a lot of work. But, it was delicious! We had it with My Uncle Bob, who lived near us in Ann Arbor, MI.

In 1999, I made my 2nd entire Thanksgiving dinner. Kate was my very fussy 3 month old baby, Ruth was just over 1 1/2 years, and John wouldn't help with the kids because he felt like he needed to be working, even on Thanksgiving. It was a nightmare! Kate had to be held the entire time. It took me 8 hours just to make 2 apple pies. The turkey cooked too slowly and came out 2 hours late and a little under done. I swore I would never make an entire Thanksgiving dinner again.

In 2000, our friends, the Shumway-Smith's invited our family and a few others to their house for Thanksgiving dinner. I made a couple of pies, and some orange rolls! We had a nice dinner. The kids played with their friends, and we played some fun games. John complained that Thanksgiving should be just family, and I reminded him that I would never make an entire Thanksgiving dinner again.

In 2001, we drove from Long Island, New York to Portland, ME, and had Thanksgiving with all of my siblings and parents. I believe we even took the ferry to make the drive a couple hours shorter.

In 2002, we lived in Toronto, Canada. They have Thanksgiving on our Columbus Day. But I still made Thanksgiving dinner, the whole thing, all by myself  on the U.S. Thanksgiving Day because I was home sick for the United States. John worked, and Ruth went to school. Johnny was a year old and it wasn't too bad. We enjoyed our dinner.

In 2003, we went to the church potluck Thanksgiving dinner on Canada's Thanksgiving Day and called it good! I made some apple pie on the U.S. Thanksgiving Day.

In 2004, my parents flew out to our new home in Wichita, KS. I has an awesome time making Thanksgiving dinner with my mom. It was so fun to have that time planning and cooking with my mom. What a treasure!

In 2005, I made all of the pies and jellos, and things. Then Johnny, Kate, and myself came down with the stomach flu. On Thanksgiving Day, we were recovering. I made the whole thing the day after Thanksgiving just in time for Ruth, Adam, and John to come down with the stomach flu. I think we ended up throwing out most of the turkey.

In 2006, after 3 days of cooking and tending kids, and cleaning, all on my lonesome (John still thought working was more important than Thanksgiving), we sat down to a very large, nicely decorated, carefully made meal. After trying a few things, Johnny declared, "Mom, this is the worst dinner, you have ever made!" That was the best entertainment. I don't think a sitcom could come up with something so perfect. Still, it made me think, "Why am I doing this?" Again, I swore I wouldn't do it alone again.

In 2007, John did not want to invite 3 families over to share the work, so he decided to find out why I would complain about making a "simple dinner". John helped with all of the cooking. He even helped plan the menu. We tried a lot of new things. After the dinner was over, John declared that that was too much work, and he was thankful that we would not have to do that again for a whole year!

In 2008, we decided to have a Thanksgiving dinner, we were thankful for. So we let everyone choose a couple of foods they just loved and that is what we had. We had a smorgousborg of BBQ ribs, homemade cheese fries, a roast, mashed squash, orange rolls, Italian Sodas, and banana splits. It was lovely. And it was less than half the work.

In 2009, we had moved to Utah and had Thanksgiving dinner with all of John's family. There were a lot of people and a lot of food, and it was just different, but good different. John still thought we should just all have BBQ ribs because they are easier to make. The next morning, Ruth had the stomach flu. She decided Thanksgiving meant throwing up. We have tried to tell her it is just chance.

In 2010, I made a few things and we all went up to John's family's. I declared again and again, how nice it is to have other families to share Thanksgiving with.

This year, Rachel has come down with the stomach flu. Maybe Ruth is right??? I am supposed to make pies, and orange rolls, jello and squash. I am hoping we can make it to the Robertson's. But if we have a bunch of barfing kids, I'll make the pies, rolls, jello, and squash. Then I will throw some ribs and BBQ sauce into the crockpot, make some cheese fries, and those who are not ill can join in. Hopefully, no one else will get sick...tbc

Thanksgiving Dinner, 2008, our dinner of food we are grateful for!

Shakespeare Parents Night

Friday, we had Shakespeare parents night. Ruth, and Kate, and all of their Shakespeare classmates have been studying the Elizabethan Period, reading 7 Shakespeare plays, working on over 100 vocabulary words, and making fancy presentations to teach their classmates. All of their work from the last 3 months concluded Friday night with a 15 minute production of Julius Caesar preformed for the parents and families.

Kate, the Soothsayer warning Julius Caesar to "beware the ides of March".

The senate stabbing Caesar

Ruth, Antony's servant, delivering her speech over Caesar's body.

Time for a Bow!

Ruth and Kate are really enjoying this class and all of the people they are working with. They have learned a lot including how to do hard things like read a whole bunch of Shakespeare. Now they will start actors training and begin practicing for the BIG play of The Twelfth Night.

A Thanksgiving Craft

Pilgrims

 

Stress and Stuff

Yesterday, our minivan broke down for the second time this month. At this point, we are certain the minivan is not worth as much as money as we have been putting into it. About an half hour before the minivan broke down, John and I had a conversation about how we had no idea how we were going to pay for Christmas this year because half of our Christmas budget fixed the minivan two weeks ago. Needless to say, I was very stressed yesterday morning.

When, I am stressed, I clean or I organize. This is weird, I know. So I sat down and went through my email inbox and deleted 4 months of emails. Once, that was organized, I was ready to get back into the swing. This meant school. But, I had wasted about 30 to 40 minutes de-stressing. We were behind for the day, so I had to skip some things. I skipped reading the Friend and New Era magazines  and our memorizing time. Then I felt less stressed, but guilty.

Should I really take time away from my kids education to de-stress? Well I had a funny conversation about this is the van with all of my family. My husband says, yes, but that instead of cleaning and organizing, I should eat junk food and watch a movie. The kids are all for the movie and junk food thing, but when I get stressed enough to clean a ton, well then our house is sparkling and their chores are a lot easier.

Then came the question of why? Why do I clean when I am stressed? How can that make me feel better? Well, maybe it is like a drug??? When things are cleaned and organized, I feel a lot better. There are probably satisfying chemicals that are released from my brain. But not too long afterwards, my house is dirty and unorganized again. So I clean and organize some more and feel better again. Of course, when things are flowing smoothly and I am not stressed, I have the normal reaction and do not want to clean and organize. But with this many kids, I get that stress cleaning bug every few days, and then there is my compulsive cleaning schedule that I cannot let go of even for a holiday. So drug-like? Maybe?

The conversation conclusion was, John still thinks I should eat junk food and watch a movie. The kids are undecided especially when my stress cleaning leads me to all of the nooks and crannies in the living room  and it is their turn to pick up and vacuum the living room. I think, wouldn't it be nice if I could just stick to the cleaning schedule and exercise like crazy when I am stressed.

However, I think my first conclusion is best. I should not let stress take me away from my responsibilities. In fact, if I had perfect faith, I would not get stressed. I know Heavenly Father will assist us in taking care of both Christmas and our car. He has always come through, and He always will.

Uggghhh Potty Training!

Is it weird that the thing I want most right now is for Joseph to pee? He has been sitting on his potty chair holding it in all day. Started to poo, but it scared him and he quit. I know there is more to come. Why can't he just go and get it over with? Why is potty training so hard???


on a lighter note, Rachel came out of primary Sunday and told us that fasting is when you go really fast without food and water.

Rachel's Songs

I've written about this before, but my daughter, Rachel, sings and dances all-of-the-time. She mostly sings whatever tune comes to her mind and I am guessing the words are about whatever she is thinking about then. The two recent memorable ones are:

1. I am a pretty princess, and I will grow up to be a ninja.
2. Isn't it funny that my mom is so ugly and my dad is so handsome. Isn't it funny that my dad married an ugly girl. (This was about the drawing she had just made, not about me and John. Good thing too, she is the one kid that looks just like me.)

 

A Seventh Birthday

My little man, Adam turned 7, November 4th! He is my one kid that I tried really hard to get here. He came after 2 miscarriages and 6 months of "trying". The doctors told me that after 2 miscarriages, I had a 60% chance of having a third. I was really nervous those first three months until I saw my healthy little 3 month fetus wiggling around in the ultra sound. Still, Adam arrived reluctantly, 2 days late and my longest labor of 4 hours (I fired that doctor; he wouldn't break my water).

Adam has always been our funny kid. He has been making jokes since he knew about jokes! He is tough and sensitive all rolled into one. He LOVES his big brother, Johnny, and does what he can to be just like him.

At seven, my little Adam tries very hard to be a big kid. He cannot know this, but he does way more and is way more capable than my 3 older children were at this age. Unlike my older 3, Adam picks up giant messes (messes weren't so big back when Ruth was 7),  he clears out the dish washer and loads in dirty dishes; he vacuums; he changes diapers; he dresses little kids. He buckles and unbuckles babies in their car seats. He doesn't know that I have never required this of a 6/7 year old before, and I won't tell him. I need his helping hands.

But, unlike my older 3, he is the only 6/7 year old to stay up late on a regular basis watching movies and playing games with mom and dad. This reminds me, he also tries very hard to like movies and T.V. shows that he really doesn't like-- Just so he can prove that he really is a big kid!

For his birthday, we spent the day with some of his favorite cousins just before they moved to Arizona (sniff, sniff). It was a small party, but Adam really enjoyed the day with his cousins.

A Week About Faith: Final Post

My guest write for Saturday did not follow through, but I have a friend who will write something for me sometime next week. So We will get 7 articles on faith not from me.

I think this has been a very uplifting week. We have been blessed by the stories and faith from six amazing women. As I have read this weeks posts, The scripture from Proverbs 3:5-6 has come to mind over and over.

  "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

If I had to sum up the themes from this week. This is what I would say

1. Trust the Lord and  keep the commandments
2. Trust the Lord and follow the promptings one receives from the Holy Ghost.
3. Trust the Lord and know that His will is better for you than your will.
4. Trust the Lord to know that when times are rough, He is still with you and
5. Be patient in affliction.

I want to thank all of my wonderful writers. I could have written my heart out all week and not have come up with so much. So Thank you writers. I have learned a lot. Your writings have helped me to become a better person, and I am sure there are a lot of other people out there who feel the same.

Diane

A Week About Faith: Alida

My name is Alida,  I'm a mommy of 6 little blessings (ages 12, 10, 8, 6, 3, 1), the wife of a pretty great guy (for nearly 13 years), a daughter of goodly parents (I'm their favorite) and a friend to a lot of wonderful people. I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you know "The Mormons." I'm a little goofy, a little nerdy, a little silly, and a lot AWESOME. I enjoy pina coladas and getting caught in the rain....I'm not into Yoko and I have half a brain....(wait a minute, I think that's a song....)  Either way, I'm a pretty fun person, I enjoy blogging and entertaining the masses.  There is always something going on at the Bowles home so come read about my colorful life at Living Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Trust in The Lord

Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “We can say: ‘I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things’ (1 Ne. 11:17). There have been and will be times in each of our lives when such faith must be the bottom line: We don’t know what is happening to us or around us, but we know that God loves us, and knowing that, for the moment, is enough” (“Not My Will, But Thine” [1988], 119).

What an uplifting week this has been here on Diane's blog as each of these amazing women have shared their stories of Faith in all things.  Admittedly, I've been struggling this week with finding the right words to share with you the special message that is in my heart.  I have written and then re-written this post several times throughout the week and nothing has felt quite right.  However, I have faith that the Lord knows my heart and he will guide me through this.
It's a beautiful Autumn morning.  I'm sitting by a large window and feeling the warmth of the sunlight as it fills each corner of the room.  It's so still and quiet here except for the cars rushing by on the street down below.  My 10 year old son Brinton is peacefully sleeping in a bed across the room and occasionally I hear the rustling of his blankets as he switches position.  I kind of want to hold on to this moment a little longer.

As I write this I'm sitting in a room at the Ronald McDonald House Charities roughly 3 hours from home, about 150 miles away from my family.  By the time you read this on Friday, November 11th, Brinton will be undergoing major surgery on his spine called a C1-C2 spinal fusion, to help stabilize his neck from a rare spinal deformity called Os Odontoideum.  This will be his 8th surgery in his 10 short years and it will probably be his most life changing.  He faces 3 months of rehab and physical therapy, while learning to live with a halo brace that will prevent him from moving his head or neck while he heals.  This has been a huge test of our faith and this story is still being written....

I know now why I've been struggling to write this post! The story I thought I needed to share is not the message the Lord wants me to share.  So, while I ask for your thoughts and prayers for my sweet son, I wish to move on to another experience that I've had with faith.  (Side note: It's incredible how fast the words are flying out of me now that I've chosen to trust in the Lord and listen to the spirit...)

About four years ago everything was going wrong.  We lived in Las Vegas, NV at the time and although we had been incredibly successful, by the worlds standards, we were falling apart.  Our business was failing, our finances were out of control, our marriage was suffering, our family was struggling, WE. WERE. A. MESS.  I couldn't see even a glimmer of hope or happiness in our future.  I just wanted to run away from all of it.  Then we found out we were expecting baby #5.  This news came as a wonderful surprise and blessing but also added to our struggle.  We decided that we needed to leave Las Vegas, get back to Utah, rebuild our lives, and we'd all live happily ever after.  That wasn't the Lord's plan for us.  Time and time again we'd have job offers only to fall through at the last second, it was a never ending cycle.  The tunnel just kept getting longer.

In January of 2008 my husband attended the temple by himself one evening to ponder and pray what we should do.  His answer: Move to Kansas City.

Um what?

Neither he nor I had ever even been to Missouri or Kansas.  Ever.  My husband often tells the story that he felt like Lehi coming home that evening to tell the family we were moving to the wilderness.  I was still quite dumbfounded by this revelation but in my heart I knew without a doubt it was the right thing to do.  I knew that the Lord would not call me to do something harder than what I could handle and if the last year of struggle was any indication of how strong I was, this move was going to be a piece of cake.  Right?!

Well, that night he sent out resume after resume and within a week he had already lined up several interviews.  A couple of weeks after that we were on our way to Kansas City to look at homes and interview for jobs.  He was offered 2 jobs right away, along with a great sign on package and they were paying to move us across the country.  Our prayers had been answered.  I felt that because of our faith our family was being made whole again.  I thought that this was the end to our trial, that I had finally made it out of the dark.

Knowing that our baby was due March 29th we planned to move the first week in April for him to start work.  I worked diligently to pack all our things, to sell those things which we could not take, to get all our affairs in order.  Each day passed and there was no sign of baby.  The clock was ticking on our move day and still no baby.  There was no way I could travel thousands of miles across the country 39 weeks pregnant.  What would we do?  Our plan B was to have Jeremiah leave to start work (as he could not postpone his start day) and I would stay with my mother until I delivered our son, at which time I would join him in Kansas City.

One night when I could no longer bare the thought of having Jeremiah leave me behind, I knelt down in prayer and I pleaded with Heavenly Father....."Please, please don't let me have this baby without his father here.  Please."

By April 7th we moved to Kansas.  By we I mean my husband and children.....

I stayed behind still waiting for our son to be born.  I believe in trusting my body and letting baby come without induction.  I was planning a home birth and my midwife fully supported my desire to wait for my body and my baby to be ready.  I was questioning my decision with each passing day.  Wondering if I should just go to the hospital and get induced but some how knowing that waiting was the right thing to do.  

I took joy in the time I spent with my mom cooking, taking walks, shopping, watching movies but I was angry with the Lord.  I couldn't understand why, if I had done everything he asked up to that point, he hadn't answered that prayer that my husband be there when our son was born.  I had exercised so much faith and I felt like he left me in my greatest time of need.  One week passed, two weeks passed, I was desperate for my baby, desperate for my 4 children already living in Kansas.  Three weeks passed.

On April 26th, 2008, still very much pregnant with my little boy, my husband flew back to Las Vegas for a business meeting.  He arrived at 2:00 pm, I went into labor a little before 5pm and delivered our son 45 minutes later.  As I held my newborn baby Liam in my arms and looked into his eyes, I had a realization that the prayer that I had called out to my father in heaven, "Please, please don't let me have this baby without his father here. Please." Had been answered.  Not in my timing but in the Lord's.  Here I had nearly lost all faith, I had nearly lost all hope but the Lord followed through in His timing, not in mine.

Sadly, my mother passed away from cancer 9 months after Liam was born.  Had the Lord given me that which I had prayed for in MY time and not in HIS, I never would've had that month with my mother.  The Lord truly does know each and every one of us.  He hears our prayers.  He knows our struggles.  He knows our hearts and what we need better than we do.
I testify that I know Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer.  That He is the one true Son of a living God.  That He loves us so much that He bore all our burdens so that we may return to live with Him someday.  You are not alone.  Even when your faith may falter, may waiver, even when you struggle, you are not alone.  Sometimes,  knowing that is all the faith we need.  

A Week About Faith: Montserrat

Montserrat is a farmer's wife, mother of nine, homeschooler, photographer, lover of all things chocolate (except white chocolate, yuck!) and enjoys playing a good game of Scrabble. She is thankful for the trials she has in life that help her come closer to Christ and build her faith even more.

 Faith Enough to Be Healed

Over 12 years ago I had the privilege of visiting teaching a wonderful older sister, Toni, who lived just down the street from me. She was confined to a wheelchair because of the effects of Multiple Sclerosis. Her husband, Don, was so sweet! He always made sure she was comfortable, that she had everything she needed. He escorted her to every meeting and outing she wished to participate in.

One day while visiting teaching her we were discussing faith. The lesson mentioned that if we have enough faith it can heal our physical maladies. Toni, confined to her wheelchair, bore testimony that she knew that was true. My visiting teaching partner who was rather, how shall I say it, blunt at times, asked Toni point blank, "Then why aren't you healed of your MS? Do you not have enough faith?"

Toni smiled sweetly and answered, "Let me tell you a story."

Toni proceeded to tell how in February of 1994 Pres. Hinckley was visiting our area of Nevada. She was just beginning to suffer even more from the MS. The ward had fasted on her behalf, she had received multiple priesthood blessings of healing, and yet she was getting worse not better! She was beginning to doubt that she had enough faith. That maybe she wasn't good enough or worthy enough to be noticed by Heavenly Father. When Pres. Hinckley visited Toni made a special request to meet him and if possible obtain a priesthood blessing.

Her request was granted.

Toni told of the excitement she and her family felt. Finally, she would be healed. How could she not after receiving a priesthood blessing from an apostle of the Lord? The time for the blessing came. She was ecstatic when she heard these words, "Toni, you have enough faith to be healed." This was it!

And then these words, "But it is not the Lord's will. You can be of more service to others in your condition now than if you were whole."

Toni never looked back. She only regretted that she missed opportunities to serve while she spent her time wishing to be made whole.

Two years after she shared this experience with us Toni and Don were killed in a car accident. He died first, instantly at the scene. She held on for three more hours, we believe waiting for her sweetheart to prepare everything for her arrival in heaven.

In Elder Oak's new book, Life's Lessons Learned, the first chapter is about the lesson on faith their family learned during the sickness and subsequent death of his father. His father had also received countless priesthood blessings promising healing and a full recovery. Elder Oaks' shared snippets of letter his mother wrote to his father while he was confined in a TB sanatorium several states away. She wrote, "You shall be healed if your faith is great enough! . . . Recovery is according to our faith . . . The blessing is ours for the faith and asking. . . If our faith is great enough there is no blessing God can withhold from us."

At his father's funeral their stake president spoke these words: "All was done medically and in faith . . .in prayer that could be done for him . . . No doubt the most earnest and sincere prayer that was ever offered was the one offered while the Master was in the Garden of Gethsemane and prayed most earnestly to His Father. 'May this cup pass by me' . . . but it closed with these remarks, 'not my will, but thine, be done.' So it was with the Savior Himself. His prayer was not answered because it was not the will of the Lord, and so our prayers have not been answered as we have asked . . .for [Lloyd's] recovery, but we have always said, 'thy will be done.'"

This is an important concept of faith that we must learn. Sometimes it is the Lord's will that we are healed or that some desire is to be ours if we but show enough faith in our actions and prayers. But other times it is not.

Elder Oak's taught: "Faith, no matter how strong it is, cannot produce a result contrary to the will of him whose power it is. The exercise of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always subject to the order of heaven, to the goodness and will and wisdom and timing of the Lord. That is why we cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord’s will and in the Lord’s timing. When we have that kind of faith and trust in the Lord, we have true security in our lives. President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Security is not born of inexhaustible wealth but of unquenchable faith” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, pp. 72–73).

We will all be faced with times when our faith will be tested. It is up to us to have that unquenchable faith that can heal, move mountains, create miracles but also have enough faith to accept the Lord's will no matter what the outcome. His ultimate desire is for us to be happy. We in our limited view may only see heartache and pain and brokenness. But if we submit our will to His with perfect faith in His timing we will eventually be able to become what He wants us to become and realize that yes, indeed, His plan for us will make us whole and perfect and happy.



You can read more from Montserrat at http://chocolateonmycranium.blogspot.com/

A Week of Faith: by LeAnn

LeAnn and her newest Great Granddaughter, Lilly LeAnn

LeAnn is the mother of 6 married children and has 32 grandchildren and 2 great granddaughters. She and her husband are serving a part time Inner City Mission.  They also serve as ordinance workers in the Jordan River Temple.  She loves reading and writing blogs, working on family histories, genealogy, journaling and most of all spending time with her grandchildren.
 

I just finished reading the first two posts for A Week of Faith. The experiences and thoughts were so awesome. I could relate to both of the posts in so many ways.  It was like hey; I have been there and done that too. Life is basically wonderful but we do have those moments when our faith is tested. The Lord wants to know where we stand.  These are the minutes when we cry out to Him and like Joseph Smith we may wonder where God is.  I have had many stand alone hours when I think like the Primary song: “Heavenly Father are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child’s prayer?” I know that Heavenly Father does hear and answer prayers. I think I could write a book of miracles that have shown me through the years that He has answered my prayers. I accept the invitation to walk with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

 
My favorite scripture is Proverb 3: 5-6; “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Whenever I hit a rough spot in the road; I get back on track with this scripture. I have learned to trust the Lord; but that doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle through the oppositions of life.

One thing that has helped me a lot through the years to grow in my faith is the examples of others. Just after I had our 6th child; I became somewhat depressed and overwhelmed. I wondered how I was going to handle all of the needs of my growing family.  My parents had come to stay with us for a week to help me with the children. My mother noted that I was down and told me, just like when I was young; “Find a good book and go to your room and read for a while”.  I chose to read the book, “Mary Fielding Smith- Daughter of Britain”. Don C. Corbett the author of the book made the following statement:   “Mary Fielding Smith’s life was one of conflict. This conflict sharpened her determination, made her a fighter, and drove her to great heights. Without conflict, she would not have attained the eminence that she did. Under the goading of her adversaries, she matched her ingenuity with the obstacles which arose. Under the burden she carried as a widow, she found extra-spiritual support which enlarged her capabilities. Faced with the problems of daily survival, she developed the power for making the right decisions. The vicissitudes of life humbled her and caused her to be grateful for all favors. Conflict was ever present and ruthless. It pounded her until it hurt; spurred her relentlessly to do her level best; energized her to achieve the impossible; wrung her to the breaking point; grieved her to tears; challenged her to the mountain tops; and rewarded her with fame and distinction”. After reading her book I used the mantra; “If Mary Fielding Smith can do it, I can do it”.

The following experience is by no means the only one of course; but it was a faith promoting moment. My husband lost his job after working for a company for 19 years. We were devastated.  At the time we lived in Washington. He was in the older age group where it is sometimes very hard to find a job. It took 9 months to find work and this was the exact month that his severance pay ran out. Now the miracle of the story is that he had interviews with four different companies and we had been in fasting and prayer for a job offer. At this time we were making a trip to Utah for a Wedding of our niece. On the way to the airport he received an offer to work for a company in Fort Worth, Texas. While waiting for our flight to leave he received another offer to work in Kansas City, Kansas. When we landed in Salt Lake he had an offer to work in Salt Lake. Here were 3 different areas and three different job offers. How were we to know which one to take? We had been fasting and praying over many months for a job and here we were with three offers.  After the wedding in the Salt Lake Temple; we decided to walk around the temple grounds and see if we could figure out where we were suppose to go. He had interviewed with all three companies and had looked at all the pros and cons of each area. We sat down on a bench and prayed. A short time after the prayer I just knew we were supposed to move back to Salt Lake where we had family living. However, this particular job was in a different area of management than he had worked before; it would all be new to him. The other fact was it was the highest cost of living and the lowest pay of the three jobs.  Meanwhile, I did not say anything to my husband about my feelings because I really needed Heavenly Father to answer his prayers. As we were walking around the temple grounds hand in hand; I noted that my husband was crying. I look up at him and asked what was wrong and he simply said we are to take the job here in Salt Lake. He told me that the words of a hymn came to his mind and he repeated the words to me. We both started to cry at that point. Here are the words:  “Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed, For I am thy God and will still give thee aid. I’ll strength-en thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, - Upheld by my righteous….omnipotent.”We knew beyond doubt that we were to move here. We later realized that the title of the hymn was “How Firm a Foundation”.  Now we cry every time we sing this hymn at church.  At the time we didn’t know why we needed to be here; but we now know. We know that we were guided here and that our prayers were answered.

This wasn’t an easy move for sure. We had a house to sell and he was to start the job right away. There continued to be little miracles along the way. The first night in our new home we discovered that we didn’t have any hot water. The next morning I got up early to boil some water for my husband to bathe with and the thought came to me; at least I am not a pioneer who had to go down to the creek to get the water to bathe with. Yes, if Mary Fielding Smith can do it; I can do it. Another prominent mantra of mine is “I Believe in Miracles”; and I do”.

You can find LeAnn’s blog @ Living Waters  http://lgwilliams.blogspot.com

Guest Writer at Chocolate on My Cranium

Today, I am a guest writer over at Chocolate on My Cranium. She is Celebrating November with posts about Gratitude and Service. So go check her out, and please scroll down and read what Tristan, Becca, and Julie have to say about faith. My life has been blessed by their faith and their stories. I am sure yours will be too.

A Week About Faith: By Tristan

Faith is such an all-encompassing topic.  We could discuss what faith is, how to share our faith, having faith during trials, or the part faith plays in everyday life, to name a few possibilities.  The Bible Dictionary has an entire section on faith and some of the phrases that stood out to me from it were:

• To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone. 
• Strong faith is developed by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
• All true faith must be based upon correct knowledge.

When Diane invited me to join in her Week of Faith with a guest post I knew exactly what I wanted to share but did not really know how to share it. 
You see, faith is both a sustaining part of my life and something I need replenished on a daily basis.  This has become more apparent to me in the last few months because of unexpected things God has sent our way.  Today I want to share that story – it’s one we’re still in the middle of.
A bit of background:  I turned 30 this year, which makes me an official grown up.  I’m a mother and wife, having married at the age of 19 and given birth to my first child at age 20.  I have spent most of my marriage pregnant (and have a very patient husband who loves me hormones and all).  Remember how I’ve been married for all of 11 years now?  I’m currently in my 10th pregnancy and have 6 sweet children ages 10 and under. 
God has taken our family through some challenges I never expected, including back to back babies and three miscarriages.  The baby boy I’m carrying now is the newest challenge, one that we’re only getting through on faith.  You see my little son has a hole in his spine, also known as Spina Bifida.  There are other issues with it, including bilateral clubfeet, a brain that is not in the right position in his skull, and more we can only guess at. 
The world’s ‘solution’ more than 65% of the time when faced with this diagnosis is abortion. 

How Has Faith Affected Our Family?

First and foremost, when confronted with the diagnosis that our son’s physical body is far from ‘typical’ we never considered aborting this child of God.  Faith that God has chosen this body for our son and our knowledge of God’s perfection (he makes no mistakes) gave us peace at a time when every doctor’s first words to us were “I’m so sorry.” 
Faith has given us perspective.  We admit that we don’t know God’s plans for our family, we don’t know why this challenge was chosen for us.  However we have faith that God’s plan is the only one that will bring us true happiness, the eternal kind.  We trust God and so when we don’t understand why we find ourselves in a trial we hold on to our faith, our confidence, in God’s love.
Faith reassures us that even when doctors look at us and answer many of our questions with “we just don’t know” that God knows all the answers.  None of this is a surprise to Him, and He has a plan in place.  God has not left us to struggle through this alone, nor has He given us more than we can bear if we will turn to Him and seek His help.
Faith has given us joy.  Our confidence in God’s mercy, love, and character makes it possible for us to not only face the future with peace, but with joy.  We are thrilled to be expecting this son, we can’t wait to meet him. 
At the same time we work daily to increase our faith.  It often seems we have just enough faith to get through one day to the next.  We know that our obedience to the everyday, small things God asks of us is essential to keep refilling our faith at this time when we’re making heavy withdrawls on a daily basis.  Obedience in the little things:

• prayer
• scripture study
• family home evening
• honesty
• forgiveness
• serving others
• keeping our covenants

God doesn’t ask us to do some great thing before He will build up our faith.  What He asks is that we are faithful in the small things, and when we are diligent He immediately blesses us with more faith.  God is waiting with open arms, pleading with us to let Him bless us.  I have confidence, or faith, in my Father in Heaven.  I know He loves me enough to send challenges that will bring me to my knees, that will turn my heart to Him.  It is in seeking Him that I find every good gift, including the faith to live joyfully through mortality.
Tristan has been married to the love of her life for 11 wonderful years and thanks God daily for the balance he brings to her type-A personality.

You can read more from Tristan at www.ourbusyhomeschool.blogspot.com

A Week About Faith: By Becca

Hey. My Name is Becca. I’m a young mom of 2 gorgeous kiddos who are amazingly fun and drive me crazy all at the same time. I do photography, manage a storage business, take care of the house here and there, and sometimes I even cook when I’m too sick of fast food. My handsome hub and I have been married for 4.5 years, happily so, I might add. I love what I do and I do what I love.

I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to say about faith for the last week or so, and I have to say, I was disappointed with myself. I was disappointed that I didn’t just have all of these moments in my life that I could say “hey everyone, look at this amazing example of faith.” I have to say I wanted to have something so profound, something powerful, something that would leave all you readers left with a sense of the great faith I had.

But I couldn’t do any of that. I couldn’t even think of anything, really, that felt important enough to share. And after reading the Madhouse post, I have to say, nothing compares to a story like that….

And that’s where the problem is. I am trying to be profound. I am comparing my spirituality with that of others. And therein lies the biggest lesson that I have to remind myself all the time: the gospel is personal. And therefore, everything about it is personal. And so now, instead of using all the stuff I had been thinking of prior to this, here is what comes to my mind, my personal tid bits about faith. These are my feelings. And I hope that even though they aren’t super amazing or crazy stories, that you can see how personal it is, and let that build your own testimony of Heavenly Father’s knowledge of each and every one of us in our individual situations, and our individual personalities.

So here we go…

James and I had been married for a couple years, our daughter Grace was about 15 months old. I was 6 months pregnant with our little boy, Rocky. Our lives had been in a great place – we had saved money for a home, James had a great job as a Sales Director for Circuit City – we were good to go. The very week we scheduled to look at homes, the bomb went off: Circuit City was going out of business. James had lost his job. He had a few weeks of work, and then it was over. No income. No insurance. And we had a baby coming.

I remember being so upset. I remember feeling that we had been cheated out of our big dream we had worked so hard for. I had wanted a home of my own so badly, and I was actually upset that it wasn’t going to happen for us at that time. We prayed as always. We went to church as always. But for some reason…I didn’t feel close to the spirit. We tried to get Medicaid, but because of our savings we couldn’t be approved. If everything went fine with the birth, we would have enough money to pay for it – but if something bad happened…if Rocky had to have special care like our first child…we would have to go into major debt. I was stressed out. I didn’t know how we were going to make it. We lived off of our savings, and kept re-applying for insurance. Time pressed on, the due date drew near, and things just seemed to get worse.

Then, James got a job that had promised a decent income and insurance within 30 days. That would have landed us insurance right about the time of birth, so we took the job. It seemed like a good idea. We felt strongly to take it, and we moved to an apt. right by his new job. After the first 2 weeks, we realized that they were not paying what they said, and then found out it was 90 days until we could have insurance. I remember crying basically every day at this point. I felt so.stressed.out. I didn’t understand why we would have felt so strongly to take this job if it wasn’t what they had told us it would be. I’m pretty sure I was just pissed off most of the time.

On the flip side – and this has honestly been a major example of faith in my life since it happened – my oldest brother and his wife lived outside of Utah. They had 6 children and she was pregnant with their 7th. They had felt the need to move to Utah. So they did. They trusted that God would take care of them. My brother applied for jobs, and they lived with my parents until they could find a place of their own and a job, etc. I remember my sister-in-law showed amazing faith and strength during this rough time. When nothing seemed to work out, she always spoke with confidence and spoke with trust in the Lord that things would work out. I knew that their situation was worse than ours, but for some reason I couldn’t find the same faith that she seemed to have. So I looked to her to strengthen my own faith. I figured if they were so trusting that everything would work out, then I could be trusting as well. I tried to improve my attitude.

I remember I focused especially hard on the principle that if you do all you can do, He will carry you the rest of the way. So I looked at my imperfections. I wanted to make sure I was doing everything I could do. I magnified my calling, I prayed constantly, I did scripture study, etc. I felt the strong need to go to the temple, so we went. I needed peace. I was aching for some sort of relief, some sort of sense that things really would be ok. While we were there, it was nice, but as soon as we left, all our troubles were still there. I felt the spirit while I was there, but that didn’t change the fact that things weren’t working out. As we drove home…our car broke down. I remember I just wanted to burst into tears, but instead I just laughed. I laughed and I laughed. My hub didn’t think it was funny. But I just said “You know, they say all you need is love. And I guess that’s true, because we don’t have money, we don’t have insurance, and now we don’t have a car. All we have is love. So I guess that’s all we need.” And we called for a ride home.

A few thousand bucks later, and our savings depleted, our car was repaired. We had about 3 weeks until Rocky was due. I remember reading the story about the man who said “Oh Lord, I believe. Help thou my unbelief.” And I felt it. I connected with that story. I told Heavenly Father that I wanted to believe like everyone else – like my brother and his wife. I wanted to just have that faith. I believed that things could work out, but I just didn’t see how. I felt so cheated because we had been so smart with our money to stay out of debt, and now, we were about to go into thousands of dollars into debt and I knew it would increase each month as James’ job wasn’t paying him anything. I cried. And opened my heart. And then I simply said “help thou my unbelief.” I couldn’t see an answer. But I hoped that He could.

The next day, we received a phone call. It was from our good pal, Brad. He had recently gotten a job for Rosetta Stone as the area manager over Kiosks in Utah and Salt Lake Counties. “How would you like to head up the new kiosk in the University Mall?” After asking many questions, we would get insurance within 2 weeks (amazing!) , it was good pay, and it was short enough hours that James would even be able to go back to school after a 2 year break.

are you kidding me?

I couldn’t believe it! James took the job, started immediately, and we had insurance the week that Rocky was born.

I cannot tell you what an amazing eye-opener that was for me. There was no way that things should have worked out. No way at all. But they did. He really did help my unbelief. And it has taught me to not doubt again.

When things are tough, and they will be if they aren’t already, know that they will work out. Faith to me means believing that there is a rainbow after the storm. That Spring will come after a dark and long winter. Apply that to your life – when you feel like your life is in a dark and cold season of a bitter winter – have faith and believe that in time, your spring will come.

Faith isn’t only to get through difficult times in life, but it’s something that you can use to get through anything. A hard day with your children. A challenging calling. Learning how to forgive and forget. Learning how to repent.

Faith to me means trusting our Heavenly Father. Trusting that He actually does have a plan, and trusting that he does in fact guide our lives. When He calls me to a calling that I don’t feel like I can do, I trust that it’s to help me grow and progress in ways that He sees fit. I have faith that it is for my good, to better me. Trust the lord, rely on Him for your strength no matter what it is that you need strength for – and He will bless you.

We got our Ensign yesterday and I read a bit of it today – the talk “It Is Better to Look Up” really spoke to me when it comes to faith. “IF we, like President Monson, exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened and our lives will be filled with peace and joy…But we must have the faith to look up and the courage to follow his direction.”

I love that the gospel is really very simple – do what we are supposed to do, and God will take care of us. If you are doing all you need to do, don’t stress. God hears your prayers. He knows you personally. He knows your needs, He knows your heart. Have faith that He is there and that He is taking care of you.

And to end, another quote from that talk, “As we remember Him(Christ) and trust in His power, we receive strength through His atonement. It is the means whereby we can be relieved of our anxieties, our burdens, and our suffering. It is the means whereby we can receive the faith and strength to endure all things.”

You can read more from the lovely Becca at http://jbclary.blogspot.com/

A week About Faith: By Julie

Julie Hess is the author and chief inmate of Hesses Madhouse (http://hessesmadhouse.blogspot.com).  She's married to Zan, a school administrator and they, together, have seven co-inmates sharing their world.  At the Madhouse, Julie shares all of the craziness that is her life.  To learn more about Julie, just head on over to the Madhouse.

Thank you, Diane, for allowing me this chance of writing for your blog.  I appreciate all the times you comment on mine and all the encouragement you give me.  We moms need to stick together.  We're doing the most important work there is.  Thank you for helping me keep that perspective through what you write.


On March 17, 1999, the most important person in my life left.  Before she left, my mom taught me some very important lessons.  She taught me to listen, and more importantly, she taught me to do something about what I heard.

I was born very late in my mom's life.  I was the daughter she's waited for after so many sons.  I have little doubt that one of my purposes in her life was to be her friend, and at the time of her death, I was to be her advocate when she could no longer advocate for herself.

Before she died, my mother, who'd been battling cancer for a year, lay in a coma for five days.  It was agonizing.  I sat at her bedside and administered the medication prescribed and followed the instructions given me by the hospice workers that dropped in from time to time.  I watched her stop eating and stop drinking and just lay there.  It was a very helpless time.

One morning, after about three days of this, I couldn't stand it any longer.

I went down to her room where she lay so completely unconscious of anything going on around her, and I knelt at her feet.  It was there that I begged and pleaded with God to teach me what I should do.  There HAD to be something--anything.  "Please!  Teach me!" were my words.

In my mind and heart, I suddenly knew.

I went and filled a cup with water and used a swab--tears running down my face--to give her some relief.  I continued and continued as I silently uttered a prayer of gratitude.  Within moments, I received a gift.  My mom opened her eyes and looked at me but somehow looked through me.  In her sweet voice that had been silent for days, she whispered something to me, but was it to me or to someone she could see but I couldn't?  I couldn't tell.  In her weakness, I couldn't hear what she said.  Ugh!  NO!  I asked her to repeat it.  She smiled and said it again and then slipped back off to sleep.  The next day, she was gone.

I will never know what my mother told me that day.  It was enough to see her smile one last time.  It was enough to know that God knew her and her needs, and it solidified in my heart that He knew me and mine also.  What a gift to be able to serve such a valiant woman.  What a blessing to be her daughter!


Two years ago, I received a surprise.

After so many boys, and in my old(er) age, I received a gift.  A little girl was born into my life.  At her ripe old age of two, I already experience the friend she is to me.

May I teach her to listen and to act on what she hears.  Again, I know God knows me, and He knows what I need.  May I teach her to understand this same principle.  We're not alone.  We're NEVER alone.

Giving It Time

About two days I ago, I looked out my window and noticed that our neighbors across the street were moving. I am not sure they had lived here for an entire 6 months. I know they didn't feel accepted in the neighborhood and ward and I wonder if that is why they took off after so little time here.

After living here for 6 months, I felt a little of the same. I felt like I didn't know anyone. I tended to be a little judging of the people around me because I didn't have any friends. (I knew this was wrong, by the way, and tried to be nice about people even in my head.) Well, that has changed. I know a lot more people in my neighborhood. I certainly don't know all, but I know enough to feel happy. I don't find myself making judgements of anyone anymore.  Because I have a few friends and feel accepted, it is easy for me to think that I live around a bunch of great people. And I do, and I did after living here for only 6 months. It just takes time and effort to make friends.

Now, if I had to move, I would feel so sad and I know I would miss living here because I like the people I live around and the people I go to church with a lot.

Oh, and I have to say, the day after the one family moved out, a new family began moving in, and guess what? They have 6 kids between the ages of 1 and 9! I am excited! Now there will be three big families here. Us: the mega-family, the couple down the street that recently had their fifth child (in six years), and the new neighbors across the street!

Tid Bits

I just have to dump all of those little things that I don't want to forget all in one very convenient, quickly written post.

1. Adam said that for his birthday he wants anything as long as it is not for a girl. His favorite gift so far is the decorative skeleton key my mom snipped off her purse and mailed to him.
2. Robertson's never sleep. Pardon's (my family) sleep a ton. I think my 4 oldest kids have more Robertson blood. The last two nights, they have not gone to sleep before midnight. What is up with a seven year old gabbing to his brother at 12:18am!!!!!!!!
3. Rachel came up to me yesterday and excitedly declared, "I just saw Joshua standing up like a REAL human!" I told John to go move the crib down to the lowest position immediately, and Johnny replied, "Oh, he was standing up when I got him up from his nap. Thanks for the heads up guys. I am glad Joshua can stand like a real human.
4. Anya pushed Joseph off the green cable box in our front yard, and Joseph emerged a very sad little boy with a giant bump/scrape on his forehead. As it has begun to heal, he has gained two black eyes. Poor baby. I wonder if I should have brought him to the doctor, but there was no concussion signs.
5. Anya, Joseph and Joshua all like pacifiers. Joshua is the only legitimate pacifier sucker, but the other two borrow. Anya found a spare in the afternoon and took it over. When Joseph wouldn't stop crying because of a sore bum and those never-sleeping Robertson genes, Anya gave Joseph the pacifier. Redemption!
6. Johnny asked me if I was going to read the book he just finished. When I said no, he said good and proceeded to follow me around the house for an hour telling me about his book.

Just had to add the picture of Joseph's awful bump and the black eyes that have formed. Poor kid looks just miserable.

A Week About Faith

 

A Week About Faith begins on Sunday. I am pretty excited about this. I have a bunch of wonderful guest writers. I think we will have a lot of great articles and a lot we can be taught about faith. If you want to participate, I will have a link to each Faith post and you can write your own posts about faith and link them back. You are also welcome to grab my faith button on the side bar to link back here.

Halloween 2011

The Trick-or-Treaters

The Door-Women

The Loot