How to Annoy Your Sister

It amazes me at how adept and creative my boys are at annoying their sisters.

What We've Been Up To

We had a lovely snow storm the day

Gramma and Grampa Pardon flew in from Portland, ME for

My brother, Seth's wedding to Marie.

Curls

Sorrow

Despair comes when your parents say, "I am sorry, you are not dressed well enough to go out into the snow."

ARGHHHHH!!!!!

After only 2 weeks of having our minivan fixed, It has broken down again!!!!!! We are not going back to the same place, maybe that is the problem. BUT, we are sooooo poor. Why can't we ever catch up? And it is not that I am just overspending all of the time. I have stayed under budget week after week after week, and often $150 under budget. That money should be savings! I do not know what more to do.

I really am grateful that our trials are ALL financial. We are all in good health-- and I mean really good health. We all get along and love being together. Really my life is great except for this one little thing.

John asked, what can be done? Well, if some one popped down from the sky and left us $10,000. If we got the girl's braces for free. If gas and food would suddenly go down 25%.  If it cost us $0 to have the baby. Something like that.

Finally, A Good Solution

We have computer game addiction at our house. We are very careful about what games we allow, but how much time we allow has always been an out and out war.

Over Christmas, my sister in law, Margaret was talking about how her boys hated Sundays because they couldn't play computer games that day. Tired of her boys complaining about Sundays, she made only Tuesdays and Friday computer days. She said, all complaints ended even though they had less game time.

We had been struggling with trying to enforce one hour a person a day. It really wasn't working. So, I thought I would borrow a page from Margaret's book. Since I  have six gamers, and Margaret only has two, I thought we needed to add a little more time. So Mondays and Wednesdays are girl game days, and Tuesdays and Thursdays are boy game days. We began Jan 1st.

It is working beautifully. And while the first week, they played games as much as they could, now they are often busy doing other things. My kids have learned to do other things!!! It is a miracle. This is the best solution ever!!!!!

My Baby Turns One

Last Tuesday, Joshua turned one. I thought I would be sad because I did not think that I would be pregnant. But since, in another 6.5 months, I will have another little baby to cuddle, I just don't feel sad.

So my baby is a year. When Ruth turned one, she was so grown up and BIG. Joshua is still just a little baby. He is not grown up at all, and he is definitely NOT big. Though, Ruth at 12 months, weighed the same as Joshua does now. Ruth was walking, but not talking, and Joshua is talking, but not walking. Still, Ruth was HUGE and very grown up at 12 months, and Joshua is still just a tiny little baby.

Now about our little Joshua guy. He is sweet. He loves to hug. He loves to bite (a fight I will be embarking on soon). He loves, loves, loves to eat. You cannot have food, or the smell of food around Josh, unless he is eating! Or, he will be screaming.

From this

to this

Happy Birthday, Baby! We love You!

Who I am, and Why I Stand Where I Do: Part IV

I am now at the final segment of  Who I am, and Why I Stand Where I Do. I am going to cover how homosexual activists are recruiting you, the danger of the homosexual lifestyle, and what it really means to love your gay friend or family member. I think this will be the hardest post to write. But here goes:

First, How are homosexual activists recruiting you? Some of you may think they are not recruiting you. Statistics prove otherwise. The most recent Gallup Poll, concludes:

This year's nine-percentage-point increase in support for same-sex marriage is the largest year-to-year shift yet measured over this time period. Two-thirds of Americans were opposed to legalized same-sex marriage in 1996, with 27% in favor. By 2004, support had risen to 42% and, despite some fluctuations from year to year, stayed at roughly that level through last year.

In 2011, 53% of those polled believed same-sex marriage should be valid. So why in 15 years have so many people changed their minds? It is because the homosexual activists are really good at converting the public to their cause. They convert adults through ridicule. And it works really well. Thomas S. Monson said, " What a powerful tool of the adversary is ridicule and mockery!"

The majority of the people do not view themselves as bigots or members of hate groups.  It hurts to be told you are a bigot or hateful. It is very persuasive. Recently I ran into an article titled, I'm Christian Unless You're Gay .This article is very persuasive. I would suggest reading it and seeing if you don't feel like you need to be more accepting when you have finished. The author, Dan Pearce, declares:


The greatest spiritual leaders in history have all preached love for others as the basis for all happiness, and never did they accompany such mandates with a list of unlovable actions or deeds. They never said, love everybody except for the gays. Love everybody except for the homeless. Love everybody except for the drug users. Love everybody except for the gang members, or those covered in ink, or the spouse abusers. They didn’t tell us it was okay to love everybody with the exception of the “trailer trash,” those living in poverty, or the illegal immigrants. They didn’t tell us it was okay to love everybody except for our ex-lovers, our lovers’ ex lovers, or our ex-lovers’ lovers. The mandate was pretty damn clear, wasn’t it?

I think this is pretty convincing. I want to think, "Yes, I love everybody. We are commanded to love everybody, and if I am truly Christian, I would love gays too." Unfortunately, what the author means, and what every person promoting the gay agenda means is there are no "unlovable actions or deeds." If you do not approve of the action then you cannot love the person.

Inwardly, we know this is not true. Every Christian who has felt the atoning power of Christ in their lives knows that the Savior did not approve of their actions, but His love for them is insurmountable and incomprehensible. And when one has repented of his sins, he knows that part of God's love was helping him change and turn away from something that was not good in his life.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints,has a great question and answer session on homosexuality.  It is a long article. Here is part:


PUBLIC AFFAIRS: So you are saying that homosexual feelings are controllable?

ELDER OAKS: Yes, homosexual feelings are controllable. Perhaps there is an inclination or susceptibility to such feelings that is a reality for some and not a reality for others. But out of such susceptibilities come feelings, and feelings are controllable. If we cater to the feelings, they increase the power of the temptation. If we yield to the temptation, we have committed sinful behavior. That pattern is the same for a person that covets someone else’s property and has a strong temptation to steal. It’s the same for a person that develops a taste for alcohol. It’s the same for a person that is born with a ‘short fuse,’ as we would say of a susceptibility to anger. If they let that susceptibility remain uncontrolled, it becomes a feeling of anger, and a feeling of anger can yield to behavior that is sinful and illegal.
We’re not talking about a unique challenge here. We’re talking about a common condition of mortality. We don’t understand exactly the ‘why,’ or the extent to which there are inclinations or susceptibilities and so on. But what we do know is that feelings can be controlled and behavior can be controlled. The line of sin is between the feelings and the behavior. The line of prudence is between the susceptibility and the feelings. We need to lay hold on the feelings and try to control them to keep us from getting into a circumstance that leads to sinful behavior.



Second, the danger of the homosexual lifestyle: Studies have shown that living a homosexual life is bad for your physical health and your mental health. On page 17, of this document, you can find lists of several risks for homosexuality and all of the studies supporting it. Here are just a few:

1. "Homosexual behavior significantly increases the likely hood of psychiatric, mental, and emotional disorders."
2. GLB youth grades 9-12, have twice the risk for, "an increased use of cocaine and other illegal drugs, use of tobacco,marijuana, and cocaine before age 13, sexual intercourse before age 13, and sexual intercourse with four or more partners.
3. "20-year-old gay men have a 50 percent chance of becoming HIV positive by age 55."
4. "Among homosexual men, ages 18 to 25: 79.2 percent have used marijuana; 75 percent have
   used psychotherapeutics for nonmedical reasons;65.2 percent have used stimulants such as
   dexedrine and benzedrine; 62.5 percent have used inhalants such as amyl or butyl nitrate; and
   50.2 percent have used hallucinogens such as LSD. Rates among lesbians: marijuana, 82 percent; psychotherapeutics, 58.8 percent; stimulants,52.9 percent; inhalants, 41.2 percent; and hallucinogens, 41.2 percent. Comparing current usage to national usage, homosexuals were found to use drugs with greater frequency: "Among adults aged 18-25, 16.5 percent of men and 9.1 percent of women have used marijuana in the past month, compared with 37.5 per-cent of gay men and 23.5 percent of lesbians." 

 Finally,  I will discuss: what it really means to love your gay friend or family member. Honestly, this is a tough one, and I am sure that I do not have it 100% correct. In the question and answer session from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints, when asked about a 17 year old son coming to a parent and saying, "I have same sex attraction," the first thing Elder Oaks says is, "You’re my son. You will always be my son, and I’ll always be there to help you." Then he further states, "I think it’s important for you to understand that homosexuality, which you’ve spoken of, is not a noun that describes a condition. It’s an adjective that describes feelings or behavior" I think these two statements sum up perfectly what our Heavenly Father feels. I think we can base our behavior on these two statements as well. Should you cast a child,sibling, or friend off because he/she is engaging in homosexual behavior? No. Should you stand with your child, sibling, or friend and affirm that homosexuality is immutable and unchangeable and therefore completely acceptable? No.

By deciding along with between 47 and 53% of society in America today that homosexuality is unchangeable and completely acceptable you are hurting young people like myself that are confronted with it early in life. You are hurting the homosexual adults that want to repent and change. It doesn't help the drug user for everyone to say, "drug use is wonderful and just a part of who you are," and it doesn't help the gay person or the rest of society to say,  "homosexuality is one of those wonderful parts of human diversity." This is not true love. True love loves the sinner, but does not love the sin. This will hurt your friends feelings. But, if you are still there to talk and to listen and to be a friend,  not having the exact same beliefs as a gay friend, child, or sibling should not destroy the relationship. 


Who am I, and why do I stand where I do? I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. I am one of God's many children. I am a wife, and a mother, a sister, a daughter, and a friend.  I stand where I do because I have seem what affects homosexuality has on the soul and no matter how many times I am called a bigot or am considered to be spreading hate, I know that by saying, "homosexuality is a sin, and a choice," I am telling the truth. I can be a friend to a gay person. I can sit down and have lunch and a chat. But I will not say I love you by saying what you are doing is good.

Who I am, and Why I Stand Where I Do: Part III

My experience with homosexuality all occurred while I was quite young. I got to see hands on how different people chose that lifestyle. In this segment of Who I am, and Why I stand Where I Do, I am going to cover why I think homosexuality is a choice, and how homosexual activists are proselyting to children. Friday, I am going to write a final segment and discuss how homosexual activists are recruiting you, the danger of the homosexual lifestyle, and what it really means to love your gay friend or family member.
 
First, I do not believe homosexuality is genetic. I do not believe anyone is "born gay". My personal experiences and scientific research tell me otherwise.

I had much of the same experiences as my friends. We all had adults tell us that we were gay. We all had friends tell us we were gay. We all had an opportunity to try out a homosexual relationship before we "felt" we may be gay. Many of us had psychiatrists tell us any depression or anxiety we felt was because we were gay and we would all be better if we embraced that lifestyle. We were all very young too.

Sometime ago, I reposted an article by the United Families International on the myth of the gay gene. Here is the complete article. Some of the highlights are:

1. No scientist or researcher has ever proven that homosexuality is genetic, immutable or unchangeable.  In fact many of the so-called gay gene studies, such as the Bailey/Pillard “twin studies,” prove the exact opposite – homosexual behavior is not genetic.
2. The American Psychological Association states: “There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles….

You  can find a list of studies about genetics and homosexuality on page 35 of this document.

Second, The homosexual community proselytes. They are actively seeking to get young people to question their sexuality. Young people who have been molested or raped, girls who are tomboys, boys who are small of stature and like the arts, and children with depression and anxiety are particularly vulnerable. Why? Because these are the kids that either get told they are gay regularly, or because these are the kids that feel badly about themselves and are seeking for friends and a group to be a part of.

Here are two recent examples of the homosexual activists  proselyting homosexuality to children.

 Dan Savage, a homosexual activist leader began a campaign to "end bullying," called, It Get's Better. This campaign has put out TV advertisements,and is working to get gay-straight alliance clubs in schools.

One such add was aired during Fox's American Idle, June 10, 2011. When Peggy Nance, of Concerned Women for America, expressed outrage, Dan Savage, founder of the "It Gets Better project", stated::

“Nance’s son was always our target demo,”... “Again, we don’t know if he’s gay. But he might be and, if he is, he needs to hear from us.”
The “primary goal” of the campaign, he explained, is “to reach LGBT kids who are being bullied by their peers and their families.”
“Now I don’t know if Nance’s son is gay, bi, or trans, but if he is, he needs to know more than most that it can get better for him too, that there’s hope for his future, and that the adult world isn’t entirely populated by hateful s***s like his mother,” he wrote, adding “here’s hoping” that “Nance’s son is gay.”

Around the same time, Daniel Villarrea, a writer for The Queerity, a top online GBLT Magazine wrote an article entitled, Can We Please Just Start Admitting That We Do Actually Want To Indoctrinate Kids?. The entire article can be found here. (There is a lot of vulgar language in it.)

Other examples include public school programs already in place in California and Massachusetts.

Scott M. Soulier, of United Families International states:

Having a “gay” club to join in the secondary school setting  is tantamount to inviting students to self-label as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or sympathetic to the same.  Adolescents are psychologically unprepared to ponder such a question.  It is simply and demonstrably unsafe for youth to be allowed or encouraged to prematurely self-label.

From my own experience as a teenager, I would have to agree with this 100% . Every person I knew had significant trouble with depression and anxiety after having been involved in homosexual sex. And not one of these people came from a home where parents rejected their homosexuality or kicked them out of the home or anything of that sort. All of these people were supported and often congratulated by their friends. This was all before gay clubs, and school curriculum about homosexuality. Recent research by Remafedi, et al., supports my personal experience as well.


Scott M. Soulier, of United Families International highlights: I

1.  “…for each year’s delay in bisexual or homosexual labeling, the odds of suicide attempts are diminished by 20%.”
2.  “…suicide attempts were not explained by experiences with discrimination, violence, loss of friendship, or current personal attitudes towards homosexuality.”
3.   “…gender nonconformity and precocious psychosocial development were predictive of self-harm.
(Remafedi, G., Farrow, J. A., & Deisher,R. W., (1991). Risk factors for attempted suicide in gay and bisexual youth. Pediatrics, 87, p. 874.)

I do not believe that men like Dan Savage and Daniel Villarrea really care about children who are experiencing same sex attraction.These programs are not about love and helping people. Getting children to leave their families for a life of sex because "that is who they really are, " is not about love and help and safety.

Part IV coming soon:
How homosexual activists are recruiting you, and how to love your homosexual friend or family member.

 

Who I am, and Why I Stand Where I Do: Part II

In Part I of "Who I am, and Why I Stand Where I Do," I went over a bit of my teenage/young adult history with homosexuality. In Part II, I want to discuss, why some of the things were the way they were, and what happened to some of my old friends.

First, looking back at that history, I think people wonder if this could possibly be true. Where were my parents, why did I have friends like these, etc. So here are some answers to those questions. Yes, everything in Part I is true, and happened exactly as I described!

Where were my parents? They were right there, and I am sure that they worried about the friends that I had. I do not think they knew everything that was going on or how consistently my friends tried to push me away from religion and toward a life of sex. I think that my parents would have had to spend a lot of time questioning me about my friends and things that they say. I didn't really discuss things that went on away from home with my parents. I may have been vague when they asked. I know they did ask me on occasion. When they did push, in a teenage fashion, I pushed back.

Why did I have friends like these? I had one thing in common with all of my friends: depression. At age 7, I developed childhood depression. That continued until I was about 21. All of my friends, were like minded-- misery enjoys company.

How, when most of the people I spent time with were pushing me to be atheist and sexually active did I remain religious and morally clean? My parents were a big part of this one. We had family prayer, and family scripture study. We were required to go to church and all of our church activities. When I was seven years old, my family had moved a great distance, I was experiencing depression from the move, and my parents were experiencing severe financial problems. My world had turned upside down. My parents asked their bishop what they should do. Their bishop told them to read the Book of Mormon everyday as a family. My parents followed that advice. Being the serious little child that I was, I noticed a change in our home from before we had Book of Mormon reading to when we had it everyday. This made a HUGE difference in my life. I learned to love the Book of Mormon at age seven because I felt happier when we read it together as a family. I read the Book of Mormon through for the first time between the ages of 7 and 11. When things were tough for me at age 13, I read the Book of Mormon again. When I was 16, I decided that I needed to read 3 chapters from the Book of Mormon most nights. When I was 17, my New's Years Resolution was to read the Book of Mormon everyday no matter how late it got. When I got married at 21.5, I had read the Book of Mormon 23 times, The New Testament once, and the Doctrine and Covenants twice. I had also read whatever church books I could get a hold of. I think I really did crave religion. And I needed that. My diligent scripture study is what kept me safe, and firm in my religion.

Now, I want to talk about what history, I knew of some of my friends. First there was Sam, my one friend, that I met at 16, and he later became bi-sexual and then gay. I mentioned that he told me that at age 12, he kissed a boy that he had over his house during an "innocent friend sleepover" (There is a reason we do not allow sleep overs with our children.) After he decided he was all gay, he got a boyfriend, Nick. About 3 months into this relationship, Sam began seeing a psychiatrist, and was put on anti-depressants. One could argue, that Sam had leanings that way anyway. True, but not to the same severity. Two years into Sam's relationship with Nick, he began having sexual relationships with a girl. After a few months of this, Sam felt guilty and got a different psychiatrist to reaffirm his homosexuality. Nick, also sought professional help and began taking medication.

Another friend, Shawn, in my original group of 5, decided he was bisexual after he graduated high school. He had many male partners, but was always trying to find female partners. When I was 20, he was interested in me. I was not interested back. A few months after my rejection, he declared that he was 100% gay. I heard from him just before I got engaged, but not after. He also sought psychiatric help about the same time he tried out homosexuality, after high school. He confided in me that his psychiatrist helped him realize that he was all gay (as opposed to bisexual) and that is why he was having trouble with depression.

The guy that decided he was gay and wanted to have relationship with Travis, joined the army and decided that he mostly liked girls and a lot of alcohol.

After about 3 months of the bisexual girl always being physical with me, I quit hanging around her. I do not know any of her history. But at the time I did know her, she was on a couple of different psychiatric drugs, and was being told by her psychiatrist that she was gay and things would go better for her if she embraced her "true self".

Another friend that I acted in musicals with, was a small framed guy that liked dancing and singing and acting. A lot of men would say, "Oh, he is just gay, and does not know it yet." When he was about 22 after being told that he was gay consistently for years, and after graduating college with a degree in acting, he became gay. A year ago, he ran into my mother. He said to her that becoming homosexual was the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life. He said that he often mourns the loss of a wife and children. He also said that he cannot escape the homosexual lifestyle.

My sister, who liked sports, is tough, joined the army, and has always been a tomboy has had many people and especially psychiatrists tell her that she is a lesbian and that she just needs to embrace that lifestyle. My sister has not given into that pressure and the one thing she wants most in life is to marry and have children.





Part III coming soon

I will discuss how my experience with homosexuality has formed what I believe about it.

Who I am, and Why I Stand Where I Do: Part I

I post a lot of things about homosexuality, and  against the homosexual agenda. I am sure by many, I am labelled a bigot. Guess what? That is okay with me. I know where I stand, I know why I stand where I stand, and I am sure about it. I will explain:

I am a loyal friend. I have always been so. I love to talk, and if someone will hang out with me and talk, I will love them! I do love them. I love people easily. I just have to know the person. All my life, I have collected friends. But not just any friends. I collect close friends. I am always the one to make the effort to stay in touch. And it is usually just me. Most people don't care. But I love people. I love my friends-- old and new. This is just me and has always been me. I conscientiously stop sending notes and emails to people when they don't respond.  Recently, I have realized that is good, not bad or co-dependent.  It is okay to love the people you know. And that is what I do. If I know you, it is likely I will love you and be happy to have you around and stay in touch after one of us moves away.

When I was 12, my neighbor's mother left her husband and three children for a lesbian relationship. The oldest child, who had behavior problems from that time forward, went to jail after high school, and not much later ended his own life. That was my first experience with a homosexual person.

When I was 14, I babysat for a women with two children. She had recently gotten divorced and was living with another woman. After a few months of babysitting these kids, my mother told me the woman was a lesbian. I didn't believe her. But I looked through the house and noticed there were only two bedrooms. The one with the queen bed for the two adults, and the smaller room with the bunk bed for the two children. The children did not know about their mother or sex or anything. They were 8 and 6. I didn't babysit them for many more months after I found out the relationship. I never said anything, but I felt bad for the kids.

When I was nearly 16, a girl my age moved to my area. We had a lot in common and became close friends very quickly. This girl, had an old  boyfriend from her old state, who was bisexual. That was my third time hearing/ meeting some one with same sex attraction and behavior.

This friend and I were close friends. We spent most of our weekends together. This girl's parents called us lesbians. I was shocked! I had no feelings along those lines. I was shocked, disgusted, surprised. I had just turned 16. I had little experience with sex of any sort.I wondered why her parents would say that. I now wonder if she had leanings that way. I do not know.

Around this same time, 16, I formed a group of close friends in high school. There were about 5 of us, and the girl I mentioned above who I considered my best friend. All but this one girl considered themselves atheist. They would give me a lot of slack for believing in God. One time, one boy held me tight while another twisted my arm very hard behind my back. They kept hurting me more and more saying, "Say there is no God." (Good Friends, huh?) Eventually, they threw me on the dirty floor of the high school.

I stayed close friends with them for years. When, I was 17, the boy who twisted my arm, confided in me that he thought he was bisexual. I was okay with that. He had earlier shown me his masturbating journal, where he kept tally of every time he masturbated. He did make sexual advances toward me  from time to time, but he knew my standards and I was firm.

When, I was 18 this same boy, told me he was just gay and introduced me to his boyfriend. I was still close friends with him, and now I was close friends with his partner. The first guy, told me he first thought he was gay when at 12, he kissed the boy he had to his house for a sleep over.

This boy's,  time to time sexual advances toward me became more frequent after he decided he was gay. His partner did not do this. But the two of then would tell me that I was at least bisexual because of my best friend (who had moved away by this time.) These boys moved to college in January.

When, I was 18, after my other friends had all left, I became close friends with 3 other people. One girl, and two guys. One guy, Travis,  I was very close to. We did not have a romantic relationship. He told me because of my moral standards and his desire for a sexual relationship, he would not "date me". We hung out and talked on the phone everyday. I really liked him a lot. I was his friend to talk to and he always had another girl to have sex with. I am really glad I did not change my standards for this guy. I really did like him a lot.

The summer before I left for college, I hung out with these 3 friends most days. The other boy in the group decided he was gay and liked Travis. The girl and I did not like this. we both liked Travis too. Nothing happened. When the one guy's advances didn't get accepted, he left our group of friends and joined the army.Travis and the other girl started a sexual relationship when I left for college.

I went to Rick's college. One of my friends roommates and her friend  from home became physically close with another roommate. They were always sitting on each other's laps and sleeping in the same bed. They would say that they were just friends. It was so physical that everyone wondered. But mostly, at Ricks college, I had no experiences with homosexuality. I kept in touch with all of my friends from home, gay and straight through the old fashioned way of letter writing.

The fist summer after Ricks, I mainly hung out with Travis and the people I worked with-- there was one lesbian in the group. I had a fun summer and I dated a lot. Our high school group had broken up. Travis never let me go on a date a lone because he said he knew the guys intentions and wanted to protect me. I guess, I was naive. But it bothered me, and I would try to make Travis get a date to come along. He didn't always. I hung out with my old gay guy friends from time to time still too, but they were barely in town. Still, when we did get together, the one guy still made sexual advances. I was definitely friends with gay people but no matter what they said to me, I did not bend on my religious beliefs.

My second summer after I finished Rick's college was intense. My old best friend, the girl who moved near me when I was 15, was going to move in with me and work at the summer camp that I worked at. This didn't happen and the circumstances were odd. By this time, we were both 20.  I was deep into depression, on medication, and really not very healthy. This girl did not end up moving in. Her father had her brothers beat her up as she left for the bus. He held her down at home. Then he wrote a letter to my mother saying that this girl and I were lesbians and we should not move in together and couldn't she realize this? Now, being a parent I wonder if this girl's father knew something I did not.

At the same time, I had made friend, a girl, who was bisexual. She would always kiss my cheek, hug me, and grab for my hand. She always told me that she knew I would be ready for a gay relationship soon. My first gay friend, and the other 3 people in my original high school group (who were at this time all gay or bisexual) kept telling me again and again that I was at least bisexual and that I needed to embrace it. I started to question myself, my long held LDS beliefs and all. These "friends" were very pushy. My parents and Travis advised me to stop hanging out with them. I was not good at letting go of friends. But I agreed with my parents not to go to an overnight party with my first high school friends.That was a good call.

At the end of the summer, I decided to go to the University of Michigan. There, I met John. We were best friends immediately. But friends was all for several months. He was shorter than I am, so there was no pressure to date or anything.  One thing I loved about John was that he was a Latter Day Saint too, and he knew the gospel and followed it 100%. It was a relief to have a best friend that believed what I believed and encouraged me in those beliefs. Well, I married my bestest friend ever. I wrote or called all of my friends, and except for Travis, I never heard from them again. That made me sad. I knew they did not want me to marry and especially to marry a Mormon. I am so grateful I did. Because for the first time in my life, I was truly happy.

Part II soon

Anya's Birthday Party

This adorable just turned 4 year old wanted a birthday party.

So we invited a few little girls, decorated crowns and had tea party. All of the little girls LOVED the tea party and stayed eating their little food on their little dishes for nearly an hour.

With time running out, we quickly opened presents-- heaven for a 4 year old girl.

And finally we decorated cupcakes with sprinkles, coconut, gummy bears, and gummy cherries. A few kids thought carrots and oranges made great cupcake decorations! Cost of party: $25!!!! It was PERFECT!

Update on New NATIONAL Sexuality Education Standards

I had an opportunity to talk to a couple of people here in Utah that know more about this sort of thing than I do.  Here is what I learned.

1. I would have to say that Utah's school's are fairly safe. The reason is, the federal government, at this point in time, is not going to require schools to use this program. Also, I know that some people in the Utah state's legislature have been working on laws in Utah to counter a program exactly like this. If there comes a time, when lobbying needs to done in Utah. I will let you know how to contact your representatives to help laws get passed. People contacting representatives really and truly is a good way to make "your voice" heard. (If you don't feel like your vote counts, then send emails and make phone calls to the people who are elected.)
2. In other states, I would advise you to contact your state representatives and ask them to  write laws that would make this sort of program illegal in your state. In some states, laws to prevent this may already be in place.
3. This is most likely international policy coming from the United Nations. It is very similar to things found in Convention on the Rights of the Child. (the United States is the only country which has not signed this internationally recognized agreement.
4. One of the biggest problems with education today is federal funding to help states pay for the rising of costs of education. Why would this be a problem? This is a problem because then the federal government can, and does say, "We will give you XXmillion dollars for education, only if you put X program in your schools." That is how a program like the newly written sexuality education program is forced into states that would not wish to have such a program.
5. It is good to know there are many good people and many good groups that are working together to prevent programs like these being taught in our schools.

New NATIONAL Sexuality Education Standards

For the past four years the American Association of Health Education, the American School Health Association, the National Education Association – Health Information Network, the Society of State Leaders of Health and Physical Education, Advocates for Youth, Answer, and the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States have been working on and authoring a national sexuality program to create a national sexuality education standard to advance the implementation of sexuality education in US public schools.

http://www.futureofsexed.org/documents/josh-fose-standards-web.pdf
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/brand-new-guidelines-pushing-radical-explicit-sex-ed-agenda-on-schools-nati#comment_listing

These new recommendations include:

For kindergarten to second grade: They suggest that, by the end of second grade, children should be using “proper names for body parts, including male and female anatomy,” be familiar with “different kinds of family structures,” and be able to “describe differences and similarities in how boys and girls may be expected to act, and provide examples of how friends, family, media, society and culture influence ways in which boys and girls think they should act.”

3rd to 5th grade: Introduction to sexual orientation would begin in the 3rd – 5th grade, and by 5th grade, students are expected to be able to define sexual orientation as “the romantic attraction of an individual to someone of the same gender or a different gender.”

6th to 8th grade: curriculum calls for an explanation of the correct way to use a condom and an analysis of “external influences that have an impact on one’s attitudes about gender, sexual orientation, and gender identity.”


9th to 12th grade: the curriculum prescribes that students should be able to “differentiate between biological sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity and expression.” and for students to be able to “compare and contrast the advantages and disadvantages of abstinence and other contraceptive methods, including condoms,” and “explain how to access local STD and HIV testing and treatment services.”

I think if enough parents and teachers know about it and act, we can stop this program from being implemented. Do you really want you kindergartener to be familiar with “different kinds of family structures,”? or your 6th grader to know how to use a condom? How many teachers want to teach that to their students? This is America. This can be stopped!

Today, I am going to work hard to find ways this can be countered. I will post more about what YOU can do. But first, please let as many people as you can know about it. The more the word gets out, the more likely it will be stopped.

Another reason as many parents as possible should know about this is because if it is implemented, parents need to know that they will have to address these issues with their own children. You will have to talk to you kindergartener about different families and truth. You will have to teach your elementary kids that "gender is an essential characteristic of premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose," and you will have to speak even more openly about sex with your middle and high school students.  So please, pass this on.

Glad to Realize

I have been so tired this pregnancy. More tired than I have ever been any of my previous eight pregnancies-- including the one that I was very anemic. I know I am not anemic because I take an iron pill. So I have been worried. What is wrong with me? I have never felt this exhausted even when I am pregnant.

Last night I realized something important. Every other pregnancy, I took a 1 1/2 to 2  hour nap everyday, and most nights I got between 7 1/2 and 8 hours of sleep. I was being pregnant on 9 to 10 hours of sleep per 24 hour period. This pregnancy, I have not been napping and I have been getting up a little earlier to clean the house. So I have been being pregnant on 6 1/2 to 7 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period and that is only if I am not up at night for any reason. I think I know why I am so exhausted, and relieved that it isn't some unknown medical problem.

I am going to have to find some way to remedy this. I am not sure how I am going to change things. But I am sure having a napping mom that feels well most of the time will be nicer for my family than having a mom that is always feeling exhausted and ill.

Anya Turns 4

My little Anya is now a big 4 year old! Her birthday was Monday. She laughed and ran away nearly every time we sang to her. In the last year Anya has changed from a very shy and quiet child to much more assertive child. We know when Anya is not happy now. Instead of annoying me by saying, "mom, mom, mom, mom...," she says, "Mom, you have to talk to me!" Of course, my guilty conscience responds to that better. Happy birthday, my little bunny. I love you.

Math and Home School and Saxon and Blah, Blah, Blah

So, in some ways I am learning math all over again. In some ways, I am just having my memory refreshed. But this time around  instead of just memorizing math principles. I am learning why. I am learning why because I actually really want to know, but also because Johnny demands that I tell him why no matter what. So here is an example of the why in math that I never bothered to think about in high school.

Negative Numbers: Did you ever wonder why when you subtract a negative number from a number the two negatives make a positive? I never did before. But I knew Johnny would need to know, so I had to think this one through and ask my mathematician husband. It is actually so the rules are consistant. Think of it this way:

 For all real numbers, a - a = 0

So (-a) - (-a) = 0, 

when you subtract  a number from itself then you get zero whether it is positive or negative. This rule has to remain constant so

a - (-b) = a + b, 

because

(-a) - (-a) = (-a) + (a), 

which equals 0.

Tada. It feels nice to be able to prove why a math concept is true instead of just know the rule.

On another math topic: there is a way of teaching math called Saxon Math that has taken over how math is being taught-- and that is BAD. Here is why.

A man named Saxon did not understand math very well. But he did not know that he did not understand math. He made this theory that a student should not have to know how to do a math problem unless it is taught to them. So what has happened? Children are taught every way to add, every way to subtract, every way to multiply and divide.  If you do not believe me check out your child's math book (it doesn't have to be called Saxon anymore. Saxon has taken over). We bought a fifth grade math book for Johnny. All it had was a year's worth of different ways to multiply-- boring, yes. Now, you may think your kids are learning things earlier than you did because it includes scientific notation and exponents. I don't think I hit that until 7th or 8th grade. But that is it-- just every way to multiply. You may be thinking, "this woman is nuts. Why is this bad?" I am going to tell you why I am not nuts and why this is bad. Before Saxon, kids were not told every way there is to do a single problem. Mostly, we were given just one way. Then on tests, we would have problems pop up here and there that we would have to think out and find a different way to solve them. On standardized tests, we would be given a lot of those , "You have never seen this problem before" problems. That was a-okay for most kids, because we had already had to use the "think this problem out" skill. We knew what to do. American test scores were pretty good. In fact, American's were generally considered around the world to be "very inventive" We thought up the machines, the Japanese made them better. Not bad, I think. That is all gone with Saxon. Saxon does not believe a student should have to think a problem out. Saxon believed a student should not have to do a problem unless the student was shown how to do that particular problem. Math changed from a subject that greatly improved one's critical thinking skills to just a bunch of memorizing. In fact, an absurd amount of memorizing. So we tossed aside the saxon theory based math book, and swapped to the traditional way. Here is what I am finding with my own kids:

1. Johnny had an algebra problem where in order to find the answer, he had to divide 81 by 3 (81/3). 2.Johnny said, "the answer is 81/3". 

3. I said write it down and divide it out.

4. Johnny hates any division that he doesn't already have memorized, and Johnny HATES writing it out.

5. So Johnny said to himself. 3 X 10 = 30. There are 2 (30's) in 80. So that is 20. Then there is 21 left, and 3/21 = 7.

6. Johnny yelled out, "The answer is 27. Do you want to know how I did it?"

If Johnny had already been shown this way of diving (removing the tens and then dividing the left over) he would have missed the opportunity to think it out. Johnny has learned important critical thinking skills. Johnny is being trained to solve problems, not just to compute a memorized problem.

Guess what? Japan used to do math more like Saxon. Japan now does math more like the old fashioned American-way (before 1995-ish). And guess what? Americans are continually falling behind the international level. So Saxon math is BAD!

My favorite Helper

I know, I know, I know. I should not have a "favorite helper, " but I just love that as soon as I open the dish washer to load or unload, little Josh is there "helping". And I LOVE his company so much that I don't even mind clean dishes being dropped on the floor, and dirty dishes unloaded.

The First Snow

Joseph was the first to make it out. He had on fuzzy pj's, a hat, mismatched mittens, and boots!

Anya got the scarf, hat, mittens, and shoes, but she missed the coat note too.

Then Rachel missed the "You need a coat" note as well.

Okay, so it is family tradition. We don't wear coats or clothes in the snow.

Joshua so wanted to get to the snow. I finally let him touch it. He jumped up shocked and cried whenever I moved him close to the snow after that!

The Last Faith Post Has Arrived

Remember when I said I had one more author to post about faith? Well, she has come through. Meet Maria Stahl, an amazing hard working woman full of faith. She travels all over the country every week and still makes it home to work in the temple and to attend church on Sunday. She grew up in Montana, but has lived in Utah, NYC, and Washington D.C.

“Faith is knowing the sun will rise, lighting each new day.” A while back Diane asked me to write something on faith, and every time I thought about this, this line from a children’s song would came to mind. The Bible dictionary states that “To have faith is to have confidence in something or someone” I like that word “confidence”. Webster Dictionary states that confidence is a firm belief; trust; reliance; the fact of being or feeling certain; assurance.

When we think about the word Faith in a religious context how do we have confidence in the things that may not be seen? As a child, how do we know that sun will rise? We don’t. It just happens. We don’t learn until many years later that the earth rotates on an axis every day. And then we learn that besides rotating on an axis it also rotates around round the Sun. If we are just learning, to have faith, sometimes we have to just accept that certain things will happen, not knowing why. As we actively learn more about our Savior Jesus Christ, we gradually learn to understand more about those things that are not seen and can truly have confidence that it will happen. I cannot see the earth rotate around the sun. I can see the effects of it though, every day. I was not there to see the atoning sacrifice that Jesus Christ gave for me and all of us, but I have learned to see the effects of it in my life and in those around me. I have confidence in that because I have learned to recognize it, just as I have learned to recognize when the sun will rise.

The opposite of confidence is diffidence or shyness. One who is shy is easily frightened or startled, not at ease with people, or shows distrust or caution; is wary. This definition reminds me of horses. When I was a kid, I grew up on a farm in Montana. We had some horses. Young horses would “shy” away from items that may come up to them on the side where their peripheral vision is not good. They will jump first before directly looking at whatever was on their side to decide whether it will hurt them or not, even if it was a plastic bag blowing in the wind. The difference in riding a shy horse verses a confident horse is great. As a rider on a shy horse you always have to have a firm hold of the reins, and be prepared for a bumpy ride, verses the trained, confident horse that has learned to look and be aware before deciding what to do. That ride is usually smoother and much more enjoyable.

As I think it is with life. Those who learn to have faith in Jesus Christ are able to ride through life a little smoother. That doesn’t mean that there may be things that will make them sad, hurt them , or make them want to run away. But with faith they can learned to have confidence to take the time to stop and look at it directly to understand it more fully.

Faith is knowing the sun will rise, lighting each new day. Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray. Faith is like a little seed: if planted it will grow. Faith is a swelling within my heart. When I do right, I know. 

Faith is know I lived with God before my mortal birth. Faith is knowing I can return when my life ends on earth. Faith is trust in God above; in Christ, who showed the way. Faith is strengthened; I feel it grow whenever I obey. I hope that this year , we can all strive to strengthen our Faith.

2 Notes

1. Joseph is a very verbal 2 year old, and he just fascinates me with all of the things his two year old brain thinks about. Like when he took my Valrohna chocolate disk and said, "it is a boat." The chocolate boat then floated through the air and into his mouth with a few engine sounds to boot.
2. I saw the obgyn. There was a baby, 9 weeks, 2days. The baby had a beating heart and was even wiggling. All looks well.  I am due Aug 5th. 9 kids sounds HUGE! But when I hold this new little one, I know it will fit right in and just belong.

New Years Resolutions

Resolutions 2011:

1. 1.Potty Train Anya: Done before the end of January.
2. 2.Potty Train Joseph: Didn't happen at all. (Why was I able to potty train my first 5 kids all before 2 1/2 and I have not been able to do it with my 6th and 7th? I am wondering if I have just gotten lazy?)

Resolutions 2012:
1.Find and incorporate healthy vegetarian dishes into our weekly diet.

• Why? Because I have always tried to do meatless dishes 3 to 4 days a week, but they have never been healthy. It is always something like pancakes or bread and fruit, or milk based soups. We have done beans and rice, but I have too many kids that just won't eat that to make it a realistic dinner.
• Do I think I will succeed? Maybe, if I can find recipes that I can easily buy ingredients for and they do not take more than 30 minutes of preparation. And only if I get this started in the first two months of the year. If I haven't gotten into this habit by the end of February, I am sure I will fail with this goal.

2. Teach My Children to take better care of and to respect things.

• Why? Because they lose all of the game pieces and don't care. Because they brake something in the house and think, "no big deal". And frankly, I am tired of the destruction. This many kids can cause a lot of damage. And I think my kids can benefit from respect lessons.
• Do I think I will succeed? Yes and No. No, because I am so out numbered. Yes, because I am mad. My kids will find that they will be in a lot more trouble for general destruction and carelessness.

3.Potty Train Joseph.

• Why? Because he will be three in July, and at some point I always win out on this matter.
• Do I think I will succeed? Absolutely, no question. This will happen in 2012.

4.Make music lessons a bigger deal.

• Why? Because I am jealous from everyone's Christmas letters about how talented their kids are and how many instruments they play etc.
• Do I think I will succeed? No, because my motivating force is jealousy, and I am very likely having another baby, which always makes that hard.

5. Teach Rachel how to get her shoes on the right feet.

• Why? Because she is almost 6!
• Do I think I will succeed? As long as I am diligent the first few months of the year.

6.And of course to EXERCISE MORE!

• Why? well, I always need to.
• Do I think I will succeed? I hope so. Maybe but I am not very good at this one. I keep thinking someday. Once I did, and was going strong until we moved. I was going strong last year too until I injured my foot. So maybe for a little while until something stops me like the birth of a baby.