Homeschool So Far

I have several things to say about our homeschool experience so far. First and most importantly, my kids are good kids to home school. We are used to the routine now. The kids do a very good job at getting all of their work done and sitting for lessons. I like teaching my kids and being with my kids all day long. Home school in the home is good.

Second, homeschool in the community is just soso. I have had two different experiences. Ruth and Kate are taking a Shakespeare class in Salt Lake. They are with a group of teens that are good and nice and talented. They like it. The moms involved are sociable and pleasant. I wish I could be sure that we would have interactions with this same group post Shakespeare class. I have not yet been able to find anything very social for my younger kids. I tried doing a park day in our area for young kids-- that failed. I tried do a teen night out for older kids in our area-- that failed. I have tried to join two different co-ops-- both of those have failed. We have gone to a party and two field trips with homeschoolers in Davis county. (See we live just on the Davis County and Salt Lake border. So the Shakespeare class is pretty equal in distance to most of the Davis county events.) I can hardly get anyone to associate with me or my children at field trips and parties. With the acception of two women, I can't even get the mothers of homescchooling families to associate with me. I go to up them. I introduce myself and my children. I try and find things to talk to about with them-- but nothing. In many cases I feel like they just wish me to go away. In one way my experience has been weird, in another way, I feel like I am dealing with an HOA when dealing with the homeschool community. I would completely think I was  socially retarded and the fault is all on my side except that I have not had these experiences with public school moms while volunteering in school and planning parties. I have not had these problems with my neighbors or my fellow church members. Socially, homeschool has been very unique.

Third,  a structured homeschool education is far superior to what you get in public schools. Children can work at their own levels and progress as soon as they are ready. They can also  choose to study things they are interested in. In a lot of ways, I feel like a structured homeschool education is a lot more like college. Children can choose a focus while still learning a variety of the basics. There is just more time for study and interests. I like this. John likes this. The kids like this.


 So our conclusion thus far is complicated and mixed. I have been pondering and praying about this. The older kids are pondering and praying about this. We haven't come up with a we will definitely not do homeschool next year or a we definitely will. I want my kids to get a good education. I like being in charge of their education and knowing in very detail what they are learning. I also want my children to learn to live around and work with a variety of people. I want them to be able to talk to and be comfortable with people their own ages. I do not feel like my children are getting what they need socially. Another issue is seminary. Ruth will need to take seminary next year and it is at the school that is a 15 to 20 minute drive away. I don't want to drive back and forth to the school everyday. I feel like seminary is the church's education program for the youth and that is very important to participate in. So we are not positive we will continue homeschooling for all of our children. Because of the lack of social opportunities, I may even put Rachel into kindergarten after Christmas. Adam needs to be home until his eyes are working correctly. Homeschool is the best help for that. We may want to send all of our kids to high school because of seminary. On the other hand,. I think they need to be involved in the decision. If they do not want to go back, we can find another way. If they do go back, I am a lot wiser about being an advocate for my children. I know that I can stand up for them and I have also learned that it is imperative to read their textbooks and go over every website they are referred to. We have not made any decisions yet. But we are thinking about it, pondering about it and praying about it.

How

I don't think this little Joseph story comes out as well in print as it does in life, but it is just one of those funny tidbits of parenting that I don't want to forget.

The Story
I smelt an awful, nasty, familiar smell. I grabbed up Joseph to change his diaper. I opened his diaper up to find nothing except a fairly dry diaper. I said to little Joe, "How is it possible that you could have nothing in there and still smell so bad." Joseph looked up with his big hazel eyes, pursed his lips together and blew. (Made passed gas noises that is.)

Yes, I suppose that would do it, but this time it turns  out the smell was all Joshua's fault.

I Wonder...

When I think back to my college days, or my days of being a young mom, I laugh at myself because I thought I was SO BUSY! Yet, now when I look back, I realize that I wasn't busy at all compared to now. Back then, I had so much more free time and freedom. Now I think I am SO BUSY again. So I wonder if when I am older and a Grandma and perhaps working in the Temple or being a missionary and having a bunch of grown children and grandchildren if I will be even busier than I am now and will look back at this time and laugh at myself for thinking I was SO BUSY?

Halloween Crafts

I have found that a good way to make little kids happy and show them that you love them is to do crafts with them. So, I have been taking advantage of the beginning of the holidays and have been doing either papery craft things with my little guys, or fun Halloween foods. Everyday we don't do a craft, the little ones always ask when we will make another craft.

I have also found that Halloween themes can come out kind of funny. Today we drew skeletons, cut them out and put them on black paper. Rachel made a mommy and baby skeleton. Isn't that cute?

Kind of, until you actually think about how you get a mommy and a baby skeleton. Then Halloween themes don't seem so adorable and fun. But, next week we are onto Thanksgiving themes and I have great book of good ideas for Thanksgiving crafts to do with small children.

Rachel's Mommy and Baby Skeletons

Adam's Skeleton

The skeleton Joseph and I made

Anya's King Skeleton with Hair

Pumpkins, and Witches, and a Ghost

Crossed Feet

Joshua always has his feet crossed. When he sits on the floor, he crosses his feet. In his car seat-- crossed feet. In the bathtub-- crossed feet. In his high chair-- crossed feet. If you want him to uncross his feet just tickle them because that is what he will do.

just had to add in a cute smiley picture for good measure

Lessons From Pride and Prejudice

 

I love Pride and Prejudice. I love the book. I love the movie. AND I love having my kids watch the movie and read the book! There is so much that is good in this classic novel. There is so much to learn, and each lesson in many cases is directly opposite to what novels and Hollywood movies teach today.

1. In Pride and Prejudice the only real villains are those characters involved in immorality. In today's society most of Hollywood's heroes are immoral.
2. In Pride and Prejudice the climax of the movie, when all seems lost, is when fornication is committed. In many romantic movies of today, the resolution, or the brightest part of the movie is usually an act of fornication. Or in general fornication is promoted throughout the entire movie as just good and normal.   A good example of this is the 1998 movie You've Got mail.
3. In Pride and Prejudice being honest and fair and generous are virtues of the best characters. The worst characters are those who take advantage of other people. In many Hollywood movies, honesty isn't even visited as a virtue. Protecting yourself by whatever means is more virtuous then being honest and fair.
4. In Pride and Prejudice having a good marriage is the grandest thing, and something to work for and improve yourself for.  In Hollywood, marriage is promoted as old fashioned at best. A character does not have to improve themselves to be married. Accepting some one how they are is the true virtue.  Divorce is even promoted as good and necessary. Happily Ever After is becoming less and less and marriage and more and more just a good friendship.

In a world where girls have immodest, sensual, and promiscuous women as the heroes in books and movies,  I am glad my daughters have Jane and Elizabeth Bennet to learn from.

Twice the burden?

I follow a blog written by a lovely Catholic woman in Britian. She just gave birth to her 10th and 11th children: 2 beautiful little girls. After having the twins she came across an article titled,
"Twice the burden, but mothers of twins live longer and are stronger".

She a felt annoyed as some of us do when people respond to having children as a burden. Then she posted a response on her blog that I felt was so perfect. With her permission I am reposting her article here.

 So please read this moving article from Tania at largerfamilylife :

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Why we've been wrong to celebrate our twins' arrival

Anna and Elizabeth - 5 days old

The last eight days have had us joyfully celebrating the safe and happy arrival of our baby girls.  We've been on cloud nine, enjoying cuddling them, caring for them, and cherishing them.  We've spent hours marvelling at how tiny yet perfectly formed they are.  Every detail has been taken in, from their tiny fingers and toes to their scrunching of noses when they yawn. The sounds they make and the faces they pull, nothing has been missed and has been closely watched and drunk in by us.  We've spent the last eight days savouring every second of this part of parenting where we are getting to know these two new, precious additions to our family.

We've been overwhelmed and overjoyed.  We've been congratulated and sent cards and gifts and good wishes, yet it came to my attention that we've got it all wrong.

I came across a headline yesterday about how mothers of twins live longer and are stronger according to a study of 59,000 women.  I first read it and thought, "Well, good news for me!".  I then went back and re-read the headline.

"Twice the burden, but mothers of twins live longer and are stronger"

And then I felt annoyed.

Twice the burden? 

Why not something like, "Double the fun" or "Twice as nice"?

Why is it ok to refer to the safe arrival of a new child into the family as a negative thing?  Not only is it ok to refer to a child as a burden, but acceptable to do so?  How many people would have touched on that headline as being offensive or inappropriate?  How many people reading this post would consider me over-sensitive to it and over-reactive?  They're only words, after all.

The problem is that they aren't "only words".  This seems to be the norm nowadays of how children are viewed.  The dictionary definition of the word "burden" is something that is carried (load) or something oppressive or worrisome.   "Burden" is also defined as a dead weight, an imposition, a headache, a concern and a millstone.

Would you console a grieving parent that they are now free of the burden of the child they no longer have?  Or would you pat a couple on the back who have been trying desperately to for years to start the family they so long for and tell them not to worry, at least they won't have such a great millstone around their necks?  Would you read my last two posts and then send me a "With Deepest Sympathy" card and tell me how sorry you are that I am now subjected to a life of affliction?

We don't have a right to have children.  We don't have a right to take them or the ability to have them as an entitlement.  This was all given as a gift to us which we have over time taken for granted.  Then we began to see them as an inconvenience, fitting one or two in if we decide to because, after all, there is so much more out there we could be spending our time and money on, and this slope has now led us to resent the very things we should be appreciating and be grateful of.

The Evening Standard's article isn't the exception by any means.  This is one example of many out there and sadly I feel it is only going to get worse.  The effect of which is that people read headlines like this and don't even question them, which means that it's normal, it's accepted and it's now the view of the majority of society.

So while I go and hold my beautiful newborn daughters and drink in their new baby smell and watch them as they sleep, I will be thinking of all the other crosses in life I could be bearing, and if this is the burden God chose for me to bear then I'll take it gladly and count myself very, very lucky.

My Dynamic Duel

Ruth asked me why I never post good things about her on my blog. I guess it is because I try not to brag. But for my beautiful daughter, I will go ahead and brag all day. I pridefully declare that I have two awesome daughters!!!! Ruth who is 13 1/2 and Kate who is 12 are my dynamic duel. They are good and stalwart and serviceable. They are kind and generous and caring. They are gracious and talented. They try hard to get along with each other and other people. They are friendly and fun. They are studious and successful.

• Good and Stalwart-- Ruth and Kate know that they are happier when they keep the commandments of God. They read their scriptures and listen to the teachings of the modern day prophets. They discuss the things of the gospel with their parents and try to apply it in their lives and and behavior.
• Serviceable-- Ruth follows me around all day asking me how she can help. There is a girl in our Young Womens group with asperbergers that would not go until Ruth befriended her and invited her to come. When she came, Ruth sat beside her and talked to her. Kate is always making delicious treats for our family and neighbors. Kate spends a lot of time playing with and caring for Joseph and Joshua. Kate also spends a lot of time talking to her father and doing the things that he likes to do.
• Kind and Generous, and Caring-- When some one in our family is sick or injured, Kate is right there caring for them. Johnny was very sick all this last week and Kate was always volunteering to bring him drinks and crackers when I was too busy. She also spent a lot of time sitting near him and talking to him. Ruth and Kate are always buying little things for their younger brothers and sisters and friends with the money they have earned for themselves. When we have family events Ruth will chase and wrestle and play with all of her little cousins.
• Gracious and Talented-- Ruth never forgets to say thank you and is always happy with what she gets. Kate is always telling me what a good mom I am even though she is getting to that age. Ruth and Kate are both good artists. Ruth likes sing and works to be a good singer. They spend a lot of time drawing and creating things. They like to swim and dive. Kate likes to run and works on that. They are talented.
• Getting Along-- Ruth and Kate definitely make a big effort to get along with each other even though they are very different. They truly are best friends. They are also nice to other girls and like to have friends and be with their friends.
• Friendly and Fun--well, just hang out with them for a while. They are fun and witty yet still kind in their speech.
• Studious and Successful-- they are amazing home schoolers. I hear other moms complain about getting their kids to sit and study. Ruth and Kate get their books out and work straight for 4 to 5 hours without complaint. I do not have to tell them to do their work. They just do it. Before home school each was a straight A student in all of the top classes. I would say they are hard working. Kate especially. She had  a hard time learning to read, but she worked diligently and it has paid off. 

Yes, I have two awesome daughters. I am so glad Heavenly Father gave me my amazing girls first. They help me so much everyday. My life as a mother of 8 is so much easier because of my dynamic duel.

For My Birthday

I had an awesome girls party at my mother in laws home last night. Everyone forgot to bring cameras, so you will have to use your imaginations. Now, just imagine a bunch of moms of various ages, a grandma, 2 teenage-ish girls and 6 little girls sitting in a big room with a projector TV, an awesome sound system, and a few couches, chairs, and bean bags watching the 6 hour A&E Pride and Prejudice while, doing hair, painting nails, and having foot massages. Does it sound lovely? It was-- very, very lovely!

A Week of Faith

I am going to do something that I have not done before. I am going to have a Week of Faith on my blog. I will do this the week of Novemeber 6th. I will have guest writers, and I will set up a link for anyone to link their blog posts about faith to.  I have already asked some people to be guest writers and I have received some positive responses. I am working on making a button to grab. I have some things to learn, so this will give me an opportunity to learn some neat things to make my blog better. I am excited!! I am excited to learn from other people about faith and how faith has affected their lives. If you have an experience with how faith has worked in your lives or you would like to write about what you know about faith you can contact me to be a guest writer  (diane.etc@gmail.com). I will post more about this as we get closer. So come by the week of November 6th to talk about Faith.

Something I Forgot to Say in "My Personal Story" Post

After I published my A Personal Story post, I thought crap I forgot to say... So now I am saying it.

I forgot to say: I am NOT recommending for any one to suddenly stop taking anti-depressants. I think that is quite dangerous, in fact. So please do not just go and throw away your anti-depressants. I was not quite 21 when I did this. I was impulsive at that time in my life, like I think a lot of people are at that age. Also, I am certain that the antidepressants I was on were not helping me at all. All they ever did was make me feel sick and drugged. Quitting medication like this cold turkey is not good and not recommended.

What I am saying is: the atonement of Jesus Christ heals both sins and afflictions. One  accesses the atonement for sin by faith and repentance, and one accesses the atonement for afflictions by faith and service.

I am also saying it is good to listen and act upon the words of the Prophets and Apostles. I believe they are angels sent to us with personal messages from the Lord. I am also saying that the Bishops in our ward are over us and have the power to receive revelation for the members of his own ward. If my bishop says, "Get over yourself and serve others," then that is what I need to do. If your bishop says see a psychiatrist and do what he says, then that is what you should you.

So please, please do not just throw away you anti depressants. We are all individuals. And we are all children of  God, and if we go to Him in faith believing we can be healed, then He will heal us.

I have kept this story secret for 15 years. Recently, I have felt the Spirit prompting me to share it. If my personal struggles can help some one else then that is good. The more people I have gotten to know, the more I realize that most people struggle with feelings of despair and depression. Truly, we all are brothers and sisters.

A Personal Story

Anyone who knows me now would not have any idea about this, and I have kept it very quiet. Recently,  I have felt  like I need to share this personal story from my youth.

Just before I turned 7 years old my family moved from the Seattle, Washington area to Worcester, Massachusetts. It was a big move, and it was hard on the whole family. It was especially hard for me. I was happy in Washington. I had friends in my school, and we had a comfortable home. We moved to a very old (built in 1801) home that was very neat but very cold and old. We moved from a place where the winters are mild to a place with very fierce winters. I did not have any friends in school. In fact, I was chased around and made fun of and even demanded to cry by my classmates. My teacher said mean things to me daily. My parents were having a hard time financially. The type of food we ate changed drastically. I cannot blame my parents for moving us. My dad needed a job. But from this move, I went from a fairly happy child to a very depressed child.

Depression stayed with me from that time forward. I withdrew, and I had a hard time making friends for many years to come. I always felt on the outside of society. Any friends I did have either suffered from depression or didn't hang around very long. I definitely had the nobody likes me everybody hates me attitude. (Looking back now, I know that is what kept me from having friends.)  I do not want to go into many of the details. If you looked up depression on wikipedia, I probably had most of the symptoms at some point between the ages of 7 and 21. My depression was  very severe.

As a child and a young teenager, I did nothing about it. I had a friend that mentioned depression to me when I was 16, but I did not want to even talk about it. I wanted to be normal. I knew I wasn't. In college, I formed a group of friends that were all depressed. I started seeing a counselor and talking about my sad childhood. That is when my life became the darkest. I had embraced depression, and made it my very identity. I hardly talked about anything else. I was put on medication. When my counselor asked me if I wanted to get better, I responded that I didn't know myself aside from depression. I didn't think I had a non-depressed self. This was while I was at Rick's college.

After Rick's college, I had a tough summer. I wanted to live closer to my family, but I didn't feel a part of them, and I didn't want to be too close. I chose, not to go to school in Utah, like I had planned. Instead, I decided to attend the University of Michigan. That way, I would be close enough to family when I wanted to drive home, but far enough away to feel independent. I will be ever grateful for that choice.

Once in Michigan, I had an interview with my singles ward Bishop. He interviewed every new member of the ward. Like everyone else, I told him the big sob story of my life. He had no compassion. He simply said something like, "It seems to me you are only thinking about yourself. You should just get out of yourself and start serving and thinking about other people." That was a slap in my face that I have been ever grateful for. I took his advice very seriously and began looking for others who needed me.

Not too long after this, two talks in the October 1996 General Conference grabbed my attention. One by  Elder Neil A. Maxwell, According to the Desires of Our Hearts, and another by President James E. Faust, Woman, Why Weepest Thou? really hit me. President Faust said, "Through faith and righteousness all of the inequities, injuries, and pains of this life can be fully compensated for and made right." He was talking about the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. With power, this statement swept over me. I then knew that the atonement not only healed sins but afflictions as well. Neil A. Maxwell, said, "what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity." I knew this statement was meant for me.

About two weeks later, I woke up with the same familiar feelings of despair. I said aloud, "I do not want to spend the rest of my life like this." I got out of bed, threw away my anti-depressants, and got down on my hands and knees. In my prayer, I stated that I knew the atonement of my Savior healed afflictions and cleansed from sins. I asked for the atonement to heal my life long depression. I knew The Lord heard my prayer. I had faith that I would be healed, and I went forward with faith.

I made a lot of significant changes in my life that day and the weeks following. I took my good Bishops advice very seriously and began to serve and look for ways to serve. I threw away books that I had about depression. I threw away my bad and depressing music. I changed the way I dressed. I changed my friends. In some ways this happened naturally. My old friends did not like me being happy. The departure of friendship was mutual and necessary to my full recovery.

From depression, I was healed completely. I was healed not through medication or counseling. I was healed through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I was healed because of the pains and suffering of The Savior in our behalf . My very soul and body were changed and I know that this sort of power only comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Since that time, my life has been good and easy. I can make and keep friends. I can do hard things, and I feel happy everyday. There are days that I find myself feeling sad or depressed. I know these thoughts very well.  (I grew up with them.) But, I know that it is not me. I consider  depression a personal temptation. I know better. I put it behind me and I get to work. I clean my house; I play with my kids; I invite a friend to go out with me, and I find enjoyment and solace in the scriptures. I have had no trouble with depression for 15 years now. I know that I will not be afflicted with this again because I choose not to and especially because of the Savior. I love his beautiful words in Matthew chapter 11.

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Indeed His yoke is easy and His burden is light. My heart is filled with gratitude.

Maintenance

This past summer I was sitting around with a bunch of family and we were talking about house keeping-- I know that is weird, but we were all moms. I mentioned that I didn't go to bed until the kitchen was cleaned and the rest of the downstairs was picked up, swept, and vacuumed so I could wake up to a clean house. One person looked at me rather incredulously and with that "you are crazy" tone in her voice asked, "What is the point of having your house clean when everyone is sleeping?" I dumbly responded that I just like that 15 minutes in the morning of quiet in a clean house before dishes and food are brought out, toys are dumped and books and papers are taken off the shelves. However true the answer was, I have since realized there is another bigger more important reason-- Maintenance.

If we did not pick up the toys, books, papers, clean and wash and sweep the kitchen everyday our house would be unlivable within a few days. A family of 4 or 5 may be able to get away with only doing dishes every day and cleaning on Saturdays. That does not work for a family of 10. Just think of what your home looks like after your 2 or 3 children have played and then think of what it looks like after your 2 or3 children have played with their 5 friends. That is what our house looks like at about 3 o'clock everyday. So at 3 we clean the house and at 8 or 9, we clean the house again. When I go to bed, the living room is cleaned and vacuumed, the kitchen is clean, and the upstairs has been picked up. Since all of our stuff and all of our mess makers are tucked nicely away for the night, our little house can have a break. And we are keeping our mess under control.

Now it is true that I have had a not going to bed until the house is cleaned policy since Ruth was 5 months old. It really wasn't that necessary then. Still, I am grateful that I made that policy early in my marriage because it has made maintaining a home for 10 much easier.

I have one more disclaimer. When, Ruth was 5 months old, a mother of 8 children came to our relief  society to talk to us about keeping a nice house. She mentioned that every night once the Temple was closed, the Temple got dusted, and vacuumed, and wiped down. I think that is where I got the idea to begin with, and I still think it was a good idea.

Adam Loves Johnny

Adam loves Johnny!!! He does what ever Johnny does. If we are playing a game, Adam will only do what Johnny does-- even if Johnny is losing the game. If we are choosing food, Adam always says, "I want what Johnny wants." If Johnny changes his mind, Adam changes his mind too. Adam has to go to bed before Johnny,  but Adam never goes to sleep until Johnny goes to bed. When Johnny has friends over, Adam plays too. Adam talks like Johnny's friends are his friends. Pretty much, Adam mimics Johnny in every way. The nice thing about this arrangement is while Johnny definitely gets annoyed, he is nice to Adam about it.

Happiness

Love this child!!!! I have been so very blessed to have born eight children. Not many women can do this. Even before birth control eight was an unusual number. I feel like God has smiled upon me by giving me these eight precious babies. I am so very glad I get to care for eight wonderful people. I love their tears and their smiles and their all.  Indeed, "Each is a precious son or daughter of Heavenly Parents."  How happy I am to be entrusted with their care.

Happy Dad

Catching Up

Homeschool, plus all these other evening activities that we are involved in keep me so busy I have much less time to blog than I would like. So Saturday and Sunday are becoming my catch up on the blog days. We only have three soccer games left, though. I am hoping for a few more free evenings then. There have been several things I thought about writing. I guess I will see if I can remember any of them. Here are a few catch up on the fam notes.

1. I turned 36 yesterday, and John got me a Kindle Fire (which actually doesn't come out until mid November) I should receive it in a little more than a month. I am excited. Now we can finally watch movies during church ;-0!
2. Adam was saying some abnoxious things to Ruth (not really being mean). Ruth responded, "You are a jerk. Die!" So she was in trouble. Ruth had to do two things that Adam wanted her to do. This usually involves doing chores for the other person, but instead Adam wanted Ruth to play New Super Mario Bros Wii with him, and to fast for 20 days!
3. Adam is always saying, "Mom, can I tell you something?" So Joseph without knowing what it means has been saying, "Mom, can I tell you something?" I really think Joseph experiments with word phrases.
4. Kate joined Ruth's Shakespeare class because I went to talk to the mom who does the class, and  she meant the other students. Kate then decided it was worth reading Shakespeare to go.They also have weekend movies with this group.
5. At the pool, when the lifeguard isn't looking, Adam does front hand springs into the water. I think that is pretty cool for a 6 year old. When he swims a little better, I will put him into a diving class. I have these dreams of Adam being a gymnast olympian. But dreams are all those are. We are too poor to give my talented little boy any lessons. Still, Ruth and Adam have both been decent gymnast, and I LOVE watching them.

Time for Soccer, but I have more posts to come.

Dear Husband Turns 40

John turned 40 yesterday. I can hardly believe it. He has now entered his 5th decade. That just seems old to me. The weird thing is that he probably has not reached the half point of his life. That half point is likely around the corner though. I will be 36 next Friday. That, for the first time makes me feel old. I got married and had children so young that my age always seemed appropriate. Even with all that, 36 seems old to me. I guess John and I are truly middle age now.

Feminism: Good or Bad

The feminist movement has done a lot to change the world. Today, more than ever before women have a say in the world. Prior to the feminist movement women were not allowed in most universities, women could not vote and women could not hold many jobs. From reading the bible, it seems like women were often treated more like possessions. That seemed to slowly change in the western nations. Until just a little over 100 years ago when women were given the right to vote, and then things began changing rapidly for women. 100 years ago the women working for woman's sufferage did a lot of good. I am grateful that I can vote and wear pants, and that I could go to college and improve my mind. These things are good things. These things have helped women. But today, feminism is not just about becoming educated, voting, and wearing pants.  Today feminism is not good.

Today feminist women reject their very nature. The very idea of being a wife and a mother are scorned. As a result women who give up careers to stay home with their children are looked down upon. Being a mother is second to almost anything else. Many of my high school friends chose not to become parents until they had post graduate degrees, a house, a savings account, a beautiful nursery and full time career and were over 30 years of age. Those who started families younger seem happier.

Media portrays women as being strong warriors (take Tangled for example) that can fight better than men. Women are portrayed as being the smartest and the best problem solvers. These same smart, warrior women are very sexualized. Their bodies are there on display. Media also portrays women as promiscuous. In media women are shown sleeping around and showing off their bodies. Billboards all around my city show women in underwear and bikinis advertising plastic surgery.  This is the image my daughters are growing up with. They are expected to be sexy warriors and corporate geniuses who desire to give their bodies to anyone.

In general, media leaves the roll of motherhood to the stupid, the unambitious, the dull and old fashioned. Children are considered a burden and both husband and children are only trophies for later in life-- later, after college and career and plenty of promiscuity. This has become a part of common thinking. I have had people see my children and ask me why I ruined my life. My oldest daughter has argued that she knows women are better athletes, and warriors because of what she has learned in the movies and at school. Even watching the Olympics does not change that perspective for her.

From all of this, feminism has robbed women of what is most joyful and fulfilling. Staying home and raising children, cleaning home and making things beautiful, cooking and cleaning for your one and only true love are all good and part of the very nature of women. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it states, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." This is not just because women are better at nurturing, but because it is the very nature of a woman to nurture. Most little girls don't dream of becoming great warriors or corporate geniuses. Most little girls hold their dolls and dream of becoming a wife and a mother. Little girls seem to be born dreaming about and looking for their true love. Feminism, while good when it gave women freedom to become educated is now bad in that it takes away from women what will most make them happy.

I am a Finalist

Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity has been doing some neat things around General Conference. One contest was a photo contest of your family during General Conference. On a whim, I submitted my sustaining the apostle's while eating donuts photo. And to my great surprise, I am one of three finalist. So if you feel inclined, please go here and vote for me. But, I have to admit, the the first picture is way better than mine. It is very beautifully done. So if you feel inclined to vote for a different picture, it won't hurt my feelings.

Frustration

At home, home school is going great. Life is peaceful. The kids are studying hard, and learning well. They are doing great with me being their teacher. They are enjoying what they are learning and they are getting along well with each other. Not at home, home school is going terribly. I am having a very hard time finding a group of home school families to associate with. We have one. They are great. We get along very well and respect them a lot. My daughters' love their daughters'. Our boys all love computers games and that is enough for them, and the mom and I get along well. Ruth has a Shakespeare class and that is the highlight of her week. But that is all.

My experiences with the rest of the homeschooling community have been weird at best. We have gone on a field trip with 150 other homeschoolers. But no one talked to us, except for one little boy who made friends with Adam. I talked to other parents, but they merely answered my questions. I could not lead them into conversation. The older girls there hung to their parents and really didn't extend themselves outside their own family. I think it was rather depressing for Ruth. I tried to hold park days, but no one came. I quit wasting my time. I am trying to begin a teen/preteen monthly fun activity. For September, I set it up for us to go roller skating. Our friends daughters came, one woman had me take her two children, and I met one other mother with a 13 year old boy. The next day, I found out there were other people there, but that the adults were too shy to meet me. How weird is that?

We went to the homeschooling swimming day. Only one or two other families were there. I tried talking to a mother-- nothing. I tried talking to her children and they swam away and left the rec center. I don't want to be too critical, but this is just downright weird. I feel like I am the victim of false advertising. You always hear the argument that home schooled children are more social because they can talk to people of all ages and are at ease. In my experience thus far, that is just not true. The parents and children I have met that seem to be happy and friendly and social are the parents and children with large families. I don't want to be critical, but it is true that this has been the weirdest social experience of my life. My friend has said some similar things. She is moving and they have joined a group in Utah county and she has said that she has been impressed with how good and social the children out there are.

I have considered putting them back in school. Kate said she won't go because her home school work is so much more interesting. Adam has to be wearing an eye patch for 3 hours a day to save the vision in his left eye. He can't wear it at school and homeschool is the best way to get the patch on while he is doing a lot of sit down concentration work. Ruth would go back today, but John won't let her. Rachel would like to go to school. I won't send Johnny back to school. He needs too strong of an academic setting. School was hurting Johnny. Really, home school has a lot of positives. But I want my kids to be at ease with their peers. I also want my kids to have support with other homeschool children. It is good to have a peer support group when doing something different from 90% of the population.

There is one disclaimer in this whole circumstance. A lot of people home school their children because they do not thrive in the social environment at schools or because they have certain disabilities. That is different. I think the part that frustrates me the most is the adults who will not talk to me.

I am going to keep trying. I have a couple of ideas. Ruth has her Shakespeare class in Salt Lake with about 15 other teenagers. I am going to talk to the mother who hosts this group, and see if there is a coop or something we can join in the Salt Lake area. If that does not pan out, we will join our friends in Utah county. I am also going to continue doing my teen activity night. Next time, I am going to have the people who come register and then have a get to know you activity before we do the real fun stuff. There is still hope, but I am very frustrated with the social part of homeschooling.

Kittens Again

Our gray cat, Twix has had her second batch of kittens this year. Last spring she had 4 white male cats, and one gray female. This time she has 5 black and white kittens. 2 are males, and 3 are females. They make us happy. We like having kittens around every now and then. So far this having a cat who has a lot of babies is working well. As long as it isn't hard to get rid of them, this will continue to be great.

New Years Resolution Revisited

For my 2011 new years resolution I wanted to get both Anya and Joseph potty trained. Anya potty trained within two weeks of me making this goal. I tried starting Joseph in June, but I couldn't get him to pee. I tried a little after he turned two near the end of July-- same thing. I tried again recently. I thought if I just gave him a lot to drink and sat with him for a few hours, pee would just happen and I could tell him that is what I wanted him to be doing. So, during General Conference, I got Joseph to drink 1 glass of water, 2 cups of hot chocolate, and one cup of orange juice. I sat him down on the potty just as conference began. We sat and sat and sat for the entire two hours and no pee. We had to go to the library between sessions. So I put his diaper on him and then he peed A LOT. I guess he has really good bladder control, but he is one stinker to get to pee outside a diaper. I am not sure, I am going to get this done before December 31st. I am still going to try, though.

family Pictures 2011!!!

My girls!!

You would never know these two are only 17 months apart.

Love all those funny faces!

5  kids born in 6 years!

My boys!!

General Conference

Yesterday was the first half of the semiannual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Every six months we gather around our computer and listen to The Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, his counselors, the 12 apostles, and other general authorities of the church. These are wise men who are telling us what God needs us to know and do. General Conference is my 2 favorite times of the year. We sit down near our computer and blast it from speakers around the house. We also celebrate with the junk food we love but rarely have (our semiannual junk food fest). Today we will listen to the final two sessions. Then we will listen to the talks over and over again for the next six months. We will try to change our lives and ourselves to be more in line with the counsel of the Prophet. We honor him, and we know that he speaks the words of Christ, as if Christ were speaking them Himself. We will follow the prophet!

What the Other Kids Do During Soccer

Soccer

The big boys have been playing soccer and they LOVE IT!!!! I will have to be a good mom and always remember to sign them up from this moment onward.

"Help, Help":Thank you and Explanations

First, I want to say thank you for all of the advice. I have taken some of the advice and Joshua is doing a lot better. In fact, he gained nearly a pound in just 4 days. He was 14.4 pounds and now he is 15.2. 

A lot of people wonder why a mother of 8 would need help/ advice. Well, we are pretty healthy and I really have had no need to worry about nutrition. In all honesty, I have very little knowledge of nutrition. All of my previous 7 babies nursed well. A couple of them, I put on whole milk at 11 months because I was pregnant and they did just fine. I am healthy. I have always been able to eat pretty much whatever I want to and I feel great most of the time. My kids are mostly healthy. No one has any food allergies or long term health issues (at this point). My husband is healthy, and he hates healthy food. Except for the first year of living in a new place, we are rarely sick, and even then, it has been very rare that we have ever had any severe illness. So we eat what we want, and we try to get in some regular exercise and we do great. On a rare occasion this has been different. Joshua is one of those differences. He was fussy, not growing, and my first child to not be crawling before 8 months of age. I knew he was hungry and that I was losing my milk because he wouldn't nurse.

This is what I have tried. I put him on a higher calorie/higher fat yogurt. I tried coconut milk and he loves it (I am really happy about it). After feeling better from the coconut milk, he was willing to try more things, and he is nursing better. I give him half a bottle of coconut milk and then he nurses. Because he is not so hungry he has settled down and is nursing without screaming except first thing in the morning. If he isn't too hungry or too full he is now willing to eat avocado. He will eat a half of one in a sitting. He is also enjoying squash and pumpkin now. I am not completely sure of his problem past being hungry. The coconut milk alone seems to have changed everything. As far as I can tell the weirdo kid won't eat if he gets too hungry and it is just a downward spiral from there. I think I can probably rule out allergies because of his amazingly fast weight gain. Coconut milk is expensive and all of the family likes it, but it seems to be what the baby needs, so we will deal with the cost.

I thought I should also address what seemed to be a few concerns in the comment section. I think some people were worried I was force feeding or being overly concerned about size. I have only ever force fed one of my kids. I hated being force fed as a child and adamantly decided I would not do it with my own children. Mostly, that has worked just fine. Except my third child, Johnny. When he was 17 months and about done breast feeding, he came down with a bad case of croup. After about 6 days he was no longer coughing, but he had a high fever and was not walking anymore. I took him to the doctor thinking he probably had developed pneumonia. The doctor checked him, but could not find anything wrong with him so she sent me to the emergency room. They took a chest x-ray first-- no pneumonia. So they took some blood to see if he had a blood infection. They came back. No blood infection, BUT he was malnurished and severely anemic. They sent me home, but they would not give me iron until I force fed him and took him to see his doctor. So I began force feeding. He hates food so that was not an easy task, but within 24 hours his fever went away and he was walking and good. We got him on iron, and continued to make sure he ate for the next 2 years. He is still very picky. But he now eats 3 to 7 bowls of vitamin fortified sugar coated cereal each morning and is fine.

As far as worrying about size. I think a lot of people worry about that when they look at my family. I have a 13 year old daughter who is devastated that she weighs 99lbs, is 5 feet tall and wearing a woman's size 2 pants. She really is big for my kids, and she has always been a good eater. But she is not fat and I won't let her diet. I have a 12 year old daughter who is 60lbs, 4 ft 5in tall and an entire head and shoulders shorter than other kids her age. She is a picky eater. She would rather go hungry then eat something she doesn't like. Then I have a 10 year old son who is 58 pounds and about 4'5". He is smaller then everyone else his age. He is my boy that was the malnurished  17 month old. Then my son Adam is 48 pounds and almost 7. I think he is a little small for his age, but not so severely and he eats constantly. Then there is a 5 year old girl who weighs 32 pounds. She is very petite and looks about the size of most 3 year olds. She is a very picky eater. She pretty much survives on apples and dessert. Then I have a 3 year old daughter who is 26 pounds. She is small for her age and the doctors always worry, but I don't because she eats a lot and a variety and is taller then all her sisters were at the same age. She is 3 and wears a size 3-- miracle. Then there is Joseph. He is our tall, fat kid. He is 2, wieghs 26 pounds and last we checked and from what it seems like from his peers he is in the 50th percentile. Lastly there is ity bity, Joshua. I do worry some. But my husband is a short man, and while I am tall at 5'9", I grew very slowly. I did not reach 5 ft until I was nearly 14, and I did not gain my full heighth until I was 19. So between my husbands short genes and my slow growing genes people wonder if we feed our kids at all.