Exposing Yourself and Letting Other's Help.

My friend, Ganel-Lyn Condie's husband lost his job 4 months after John lost his. She started the Magic and Miracles in the Mess. Recently on Facebook, she admonished everyone to expose themselves and to be honest and open about their needs. She's not asking people to become complainy or generally ungrateful, but rather to show their gratitude while being sincere about their needs. She has learned as I have learned that Angels are surrounding us anxious to help.

Nine months ago when John lost his job, I was very quiet about the fact. I did not want to tell anyone. I even pleaded in my prayers that we would not have to get help and that we would be able to get through this alone. In my prayers, I informed Heavenly Father that we needed to and wanted to be keeping commandment to be self sufficient and therefore He would need to get John a job right away. If John got a job right away, we could then go on our merry way taking care of ourselves and keeping the commandments.

Obviously, that did not happen. At all. Pray denied. We had other things beyond self sufficiency to learn.

As time went on, I began struggling a lot, mentally and obviously financially. Then Ganel-Lyn began her Magic and Miracles and the Spirit whispered to me to find a way to count those blessings publicly too. Being the creative person I am not, I asked Ganel-Lyn if I could copy her. She seemed grateful to share.

Months have gone by since I began writing our magic and miracles and putting them on Facebook. Near the beginning of December, I got this comment from a good friend and neighbor, 

"Wow! These are wonderful! I wonder if some of the miracles you experience are because you share your outlook and experiences here. You inspire people, and I think people genuinely want to help. Sharing your miracles has brought you attention that I know you weren't looking for. Kinda fun how things come in full circle. 
I am grateful you share your family's blessings."

She's absolutely correct. We would not be having the amazing experience of people we know and people we do not know helping us out if I had continued to remain silent in the name of self sufficiency. It's possible I would have fallen into bitterness, maybe even anger with God for abandoning us. This.Has.Been.Hard. 

To be completely honest, we have been living on nothing for the last month. 

But, miraculously, ways have been open for all of our bills to be paid.
So if you are having trouble-- if you need friends-- cheering up-- financial help-- physical help-- there are scores of good people in the world who want to help-- take Ganel-Lyn's advice and expose yourself. 

What am I learning in this mess??? Self sufficiency is good. In fact, it's the best! It feels wonderful to be able to meet all of your own needs. But we all face times when we will not be enough. That is why we have community and family. That is one big part of building Zion. If we want Zion to come again. If we want to be of one heart and one mind and have no poor among us, then we have to expose ourselves. It hurts. And it heals. It helps us. And it helps others. It feels good to be the giver, and we need to allow people to be the givers. I want to be the giver. Someday, I know that prayer will be answered. For now, I will be grateful to be the getter and for the lessons I am learning.

This Week at Our House # 52 Christmas

**I didn't get any pictures of Christmas morning or when Santa Claus came on Christmas Eve because the flash died on our camera. But don't worry, we have every intention of buying a good expensive camera and starting a photography business once we get the tax return.**

On Dec 23rd for United Families International, I wrote:

"To my children tonight, I read the words, “Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Was singing! Without any presents at all! He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same!”

These words mean a whole lot more to me this Christmas—more than they ever have. My husband lost his job 9 months ago. Despite trying and applying for job after job, as the holidays approached, he still hadn’t found employment. We did not know how to approach the holidays with our 10 children. The week before Thanksgiving, we sat our children down and told them to not expect too much for Christmas. We explained that Christmas means a lot more than just presents, and it would be okay. We would still have Christmas.

That very week, the miracles started happening.

Several of my friends had gotten together and donated money for me to buy presents for our kids. They gave me this the day before Thanksgiving.

The day after Thanksgiving, some people I did not know came to my door. They purchased a new washing machine, new pots and pans, a new Kitchen Aid mixer, new cups, and new towels. Not expecting anything and certainly not asking for anything, two days earlier, I had posted a list on my blog of all the items that had either broken or were just wearing out since my husband lost his job. These gifts came from complete strangers.

After that, we had several people offer to help with Christmas. We had money either come in the mail or dropped off on our doorstep—some anonymously and some not."

On Dec 24th Santa Claus, like a real living person in a red suit, showed up at our house with a whole bunch of wrapped gifts. My dear friend, Marianne stopped by at midnight with even more gifts. My children had a huge Christmas.

This is the first year John and I did not know exactly what was under the tree. The kids woke up at 7am. I had grabbed Suzy up a little early to feed her. We went downstairs together to open stockings and get the unwrapped Santa gifts. Anya cried because she wanted Joseph's gift. She said she did not want her gift and gave it to me. Everyone else was in present heaven and very happy and excited. After a time, we moved to the Christmas tree and began opening presents. After opening some more of her presents, Anya took her Santa gift back and decided that she actually did want it. 

Suzy didn't last through all of the gift unwrapping before falling asleep. Arwen was cautious about opening gifts at first, because she had been in a lot of trouble the day before when she unwrapped about 5 gifts. I am glad that she got the message. Josh loved everything he unwrapped. He got an array of cars, trucks, trains, blocks, and legos. Joseph, Johnny, and Adam would unwrap a gift and then move to the other side of the room to play with it before their turn to open another gift. Kate got everything blue and some paint, which she loved. Ruth got mostly clothes, make up, and perfume as was her desire. Ruth and Adam helped hand out the gifts. Rachel got a lot of arts and crafts stuff. She has been very happy and it has kept her quite busy.

We really did have a magical Christmas and the kids knew why. They knew that their gifts came from a lot of Christmas Angels.

MAGIC & MIRACLE in the MESS: Finding the Good During Unemployment

From Dec 28th

MAGIC & MIRACLE in the MESS: Finding the Good During Unemployment

I was hoping to say that John had some contract work, but we are not there yet. So here goes, we have been blessed with a million miracles.

1) A real Santa Claus came to our house at 7:30 on Christmas Eve with a Christmas dinner, and wrapped presents for all of the family. He let all of the kids sit on his lap and tell them what they wanted for Christmas. 
2) Ruth's best friend, Desi brought and wrapped gifts for everyone in our family. She also gave us $50 cash. She is 16 years old!!!!
3) Because my friends gave me cash, I was able to buy my kids just what they asked for for Christmas.
4) My former  visiting teaching companion showed up at about midnight on Christmas Eve with wrapped gifts for the little kids and needed items like socks, hair brushes, tights, leggings, and pajamas for the older kids.
5) I turned down 4 other offers to help with Christmas. Seriously, if you need help, please ask. There are so many angels everywhere anxious to help out where they are needed.
6) My Dear Aunt Kathy, sent us a Christmas card with $100. I haven't seen her in years. I really feel very touched and blessed.
7) Walmart Gift cards from Jill, Melanie, and my Shannon, my friend since I was 9 yrs old.

From Dec 15th

MAGIC & MIRACLE in the MESS: Finding the Good During Unemployment

1) I got hired as a part time custodian for the church. It's not much money, but it is something. The hours are perfect: 9pm to 1am, and I will be working 10 minutes from my house. I start in January.
2) John had a job interview that went well. Please pray for him. He may be able to get some contract work and that wold be a huge blessing in many ways that were not very obvious to us before.
3) The kids were all quite sick this whole week, but the baby has been just fine, and she would be the one we would have to worry about the most .
4) I was given quite a bit of Christmas money from my friends. I finally shopped and we will have a very nice Christmas for the kids. Thank you. We are still telling the kids not to expect much. It will be nice for them to have a surprise.

From Dec 8th

MAGIC & MIRACLE in the MESS: Finding the Good During Unemployment

1) Unexpected new towels and new extra large pyrex dish coming anonymously on the mail.
2) Help from the church.
3) A job interview for me for a part time job that I would actually like.
4) $100 showing up on our doorstep.

Merry Christmas

This Week at Our House # 51

51 weeks. The year is coming to a close...

1. I wish, wish, wish I could say that John got a job. He still hasn't. We will be having Christmas jobless. But, so many angels have come and helped us. We will be having a very nice Christmas. We already are.
2. I got a job. I will start as a night time custodian working for the church on January 5th. The hours will be just right for a stay at home mom. I will work from 9 pm to 1 am. John feels pretty unhappy about it, but it has become necessary. Life is hard and we often have tough choices to make. I feel blessed that I was able to find a job with hours that will not disrupt the lives of our children too much. 
3. Ruth had a rough week at school. She had a big chemistry test, and she broke her toes in gym class. She's glad to be on vacation now. We get two full weeks off and that should be just enough time for her toes to heal. Ruth has gotten 2 neighborhood jobs. She is doing some house keeping each Saturday for one neighbor and she just got hired by another neighbor to watch her 9 year old daughter everyday for an hour after school. The workload is just about right for what she can fit in with her school load, and she can walk to both jobs. We really have been blessed.
4. Kate has been babysitting more. She had a very busy week with tests, and a huge final debate tournament. All she has wanted to do since school got out on Friday is to watch TV. That reminds me of when she was 6 and had a primary lesson on talents. Kate came home and told me that her talent was watching TV. I'm glad that she turned into a good student anyway. 
5. Johnny had several tests and an orchestra concert. He has an amazing orchestra teacher who preforms with the Utah Symphony Orchestra and always has the kids play really nice pieces. I love going to Johnny's concerts. I think Johnny probably broke a toe too.
6. Adam had his pinewood derby. He worked really hard on his car and while it won the first race, it lost all of the rest. Adam cried. Poor guy. 
7. Rachel has been trying to be friends with Ruth. I just think it's adorable. She finds things to relate to Ruth and then just talks to her. I just love how my kids like each other and try to be friends.
8. I took Anya to the doctors on Monday. There wasn't an obvious infection, but because she had had such a high fever for so long, she got an antibiotic. I am not sure if she just got better or really needed the antibiotic, but 24 hours after she started the medicine, her fever finally broke.
9. Joseph is being a stinker this Christmas time. He keeps sneaking to see presents. Ruth wrapped a bunch of presents and put them under the tree. Joseph opened just enough of Anya's to see what it was and then told Anya. Later, he snuck into our closet to get a glimpse of the unwrapped gifts in there. We have not had a kid do this before.
10. Joshua loves to cuddle. I am trying to get cuddle time in with him each day. He's better boy when he gets enough snuggles.
11. Arwen went shopping with John and was just so good. 
12. Suzy is moving all over the house, though she has not shown any interest in the stairs yet. I expect that will be coming soon. She's very interested in food, so now that she is 6 months, I am going to slowly let her try out food.  

This Week's Pictures

This Week at Our House # 50

1. John had a job interview on Monday that went well. But we are still waiting. The kids have been quite sick this week and they are still sick. John has spent a lot of time caring for sick kids.
2. I used the money my friends gave me for Christmas and so I spent two evenings away shopping. I took Josh with me one night, and Ruth, Arwen, and Susan the next. Josh knows about some things, but I told him that I actually did not buy them after all, so he would have to ask Santa. And he believed me. Josh really needed the one on one time with me, so making Christmas a compete surprise became a secondary concern. 
3. Ruth was sick a couple of days, but just took medicine and went to school anyway. She had her friend, Desi, come over Friday and they went to Ruth's home school friend's party. 
4. I could say all of the same things about Kate that I said about Ruth. Kate refuses to miss any days of school, and she had a lot of fun at the party too.
5. Johnny came down with the fever and cough Tuesday at school and missed the rest of the week. He is still coughing pretty hard, but he will have to get back to school and get everything made up before Christmas break that begins after school on Friday. Tomorrow, I plan to give him medicine before school and then go to the school to give him a little more.
6. Adam missed the entire week of school, including his Christmas concert. He had such a bad cough, I just couldn't send him to school. He seems to be better now and only coughing occasionally. When I went to get his make up work, his teacher and classmates all said they missed him.
7. Rachel did not get sick until Saturday night. She was hoping to be the only one to stay well, but now she has a fever above 104. I think we have influenza.
8. Anya has had a fever between 101 and 104 for 11 days now. I am going to take her to the doctor tomorrow.
9. Joseph was sick by Tuesday morning and he is still very sick. I am going to take him to the doctors tomorrow too.
10. Josh was sick for a couple of days, but now he is just coughing a little. When I took him Christmas shopping, I went to Toys R Us just for him. He loved it there and wanted just about everything he saw, but behaved himself very well.
11. Arwen was sick for just a couple of days too. She still has a pretty runny nose, but is otherwise fine.
12. Susan had the fever for just a couple of days, and like Arwen still just has a runny nose. This illness seems to affect the middle kids the worst.

This Week's Pictures

This Week at Our House #49

1. Everything we were waiting for and hoping for has fallen through. John has 2 new interviews this coming week. John's brother and parents took us to the Utah Symphony and then out to dinner. It was so lovely. We have not been on a date since our wedding anniversary in June. The symphony was amazing! They performed Beethoven's 9th.
2. I am having a hard time staying positive. I hope and I pray and I hope and pray some more and nothing seems to be going our way. I know that I need to continue to have faith in the feelings I have had while in the temple and in the blessings I have had. I know that faith proceedeth the miracle and that faith has the power we need. I cannot let fear overcome my faith. I know that more than anything, we need to use all of the power from Heaven that we can.We have been given so much help. More new, nice things came in the mail this week. The love and generosity we have been shown is beyond measure. The new washing machine has been such a blessing. I did not even recognize how hard the laundry had been until suddenly it wasn't. When I feel most discouraged, I go into the laundry room. The new washer keeps reminding me that God is watching over us and that things will be okay. Oh, and one more piece of news: I had a job interview for a part time job that would work out well. I should know by Wednesday.
3. Ruth had homework, homework, homework. I get annoyed with how much school takes out of my kids. They are gone like they have a full time job, and often they have homework like it is a second, part time job. And my kids still help plenty around the house. They could really use some more down time.
4. Kate had two big debate tournaments this week. After the second, she came home feeling quite sick. She still plans to attend school sick because she doesn't feel like she could do the make-up work along with all of her regular work. By high school age, I pretty much let my kids decide what they need to do about school and attendance. 
5. Johnny has been my number one help. He just cleans and cleans and takes care of the kids all of the time. Before he goes to bed every night he makes sure the doors are locked and all of the lights are out. Then he will get John and I a snack and a drink of water.
6. Adam had a book report that once again he waited until the last minute to get started on. He read about 100 pages on Monday and Tuesday and then on Thursday he stayed up past 11 doing the report. I did remind him every day for two weeks that he needed to be reading extra for his book report.Oh well, at least he gets it done and takes his deadlines somewhat seriously. He's pretty sick now too. I am not sure if it is influenza or just a really bad cold. I guess we will see how long it lasts.
7. Rachel, my songbird, has been in love with the song, "Glorious" sung by David Archuleta. She practices singing it and likes to listen to you tube videos of girls singing it. When she feels like she has it down, I will record her and put it on Facebook.
8. Anya came down with a fever on Thursday. She was the first to get sick, though it is hard to tell she is sick because she runs around a lot and gets really excited about missing school and church.
9. Joseph is just my very active boy. He goes and goes and goes. He is reading very well. He finds spelling and math quite interesting. We can ask him how to spell simple words, he sounds them out, and then spells them. We can also ask him math problems and he will usually figure them out. But his favorite subject in school is art. That is a first for my kids. All of my other kids, like recess best.
10. Joshua is extraordinarily disobedient, so John and I have become much stricter with him. Hopefully, that will help him know that we mean what we say. In big families, it is a little too easy to let the younger kid's behavior slip through the cracks. I try to remind myself that the older kids are doing so well in part because they didn't get away with a whole lot of mischief when they were little, and they got lots of playtime. I try to do both things for the younger kids, but life is different now and I really need to be on top of things to make that work. 
11. Arwen was pretty easy going this week. She didn't sneak into the medicine and or sneak out the front door, or try and flush a kitten, or any of her usual shinanagens. (She keeps her guardian angels busy.) She did try and change her own poopy diaper, though. Ruth told her she needed to tell Dad that she needed to be changed and instead she just went and changed it. I saw her walking around with a dirty wet wipe and a naked bottom.
12. Susan can sit up now. She loves to play on the floor and she is getting pretty good at going where she wants us to go. She surprised us by popping out her first two teeth. We didn't even know that she was teething. She is 5.5 months.

This Week's Pictures

The pretty and new kitchen aid mixer generously bought for us.

She fell asleep on the computer desk.

MAGIC & MIRACLE in the MESS: Finding the Good During Unemployment

The Miracle Washing Machine. It works to well that I have actually enjoyed doing laundry

First I just have to say that all these magic and miracles are not magic. I know that it is real people with their own real problems often making some real sacrifices to help us out, to make us happy, and to make us more comfortable. To all of you, I thank you from the deepest part of my heart. I have been so touched and so blessed by so many. You have brought light into what could be a very dark time for our family.

1) I am still in awe at this. Friday afternoon, while my house was a huge mess and I was napping on the couch while the kids watched a show, we had a knock on our door. The kids answered it and debated about whether or not they should wake me up. I just woke up. I looked down at the strangers at my door and was worried about how to send away another sales person. They weren't sales people. They began to explain that a newly purchased washing machine would be delivered to my home the next day and I needed to be home. Feeling stunned, it took me a few minutes to comprehend what they were saying. Their family got together and bought us a new washing machine, a new kitchen aid mixture, new pans, a new griddle, some glass cups, and a great basket the dishes all came in. Along with the kitchen aid, will come a rebate visa card with $50.
2) My mother called me on Saturday. she had bought and then cancelled the order for a kitchen aid mixture. But she is still sending along some more pots and pans and glass cups.
3) We had a very lovely Thanksgiving with John's brother Jeremy and wifeRosanne.
4) I did not get the job at Target and I have not heard back from many other places I have applied to. But I am starting to write for a branch of the Deseret News called Deseret Connect (anyone can do this). It will not bring in the immediate money we need, but no one seems to want to hire the 39 year old who has not worked in 17 years.
5) My dear friend, Deserét, sent along a check for $150 which will help us make our car payment due in a couple of days.
6)Chatting with John's cousin Julie who has been there and done that and has made it through just fine.
7)My heart is just full. Sometimes it seems like much is wrong in the world, but actually while there is heart ache and evil abounding, there is just as much love and kindness.
8)$200 from Jer and Rosanne

This Week at Our House # 48

1. I really thought we would hear back from one or two places and didn't. We are still just waiting. Though, we had a really nice Thanksgiving with John's brother, Jeremy and his family at our house. And then on Sunday night, we went to Jeremy's house for a fun chocolate dipping party.
2. I did not get a job that I applied for at Target. I am still looking and applying for part time work as John has run out of unemployment benefits. I am trying hard to have faith and to be positive about everything. Sometimes that is easier than other times. I was sitting on the couch feeling a little anxious about my life until I looked around me. I noticed Rachel, Adam, and Anya sitting around me singing The Meet the Mormon's song, "Gloria", and then John sitting on the other couch helping Kate with her math. Suzy and Arwen were lying on the floor under the Christmas tree, and Josh and Joseph were nearby peacefully building with blocks and I just had peace. My family is good. My kids are happy.
3. Ruth had so much homework during Thanksgiving break, I feel like I hardly saw her. A neighbor has hired Ruth to help clean while his wife is pregnant. She goes over on Saturday and is paid $10 an hour. It's the perfect arrangement. She is too busy with school to have a real part time job, and she would not be paid as much if she did.
4. In school before Thanksgiving, the high school had a little thing where the students could send "thankful grahms" to each other. Kate got one from a boy she is always having debates with during chemistry. He thanked her for debating with him. I think that is kind of cute.
5. Johnny had the whole week off. He really enjoyed Thanksgiving and all of the food. Which is quite unbelievable because he was the 4 year old that told me that Thanksgiving dinner was "the most disgusting dinner" I had ever made.
6. Adam loved his week long break. He wore his pajamas and only his pajamas every single day except Sunday. And he never went anywhere. He just enjoyed being home.
7. Rachel stayed up late every single night during her Thanksgiving break, but she does not like to count it as staying up late unless the kids younger than her are all in bed much earlier.
8. Anya never went anywhere all break and combed her hair only on Sunday and Thanksgiving. I enjoyed the days off where I did not have to battle with Anya and a hair brush myself.
9. Joseph likes to read. He found some of Rachel's old first grade books and sat and read through as many as he could. I love when something hard is easy for a kid.
10. Josh loves toys. He plays with his toys all day long. He loves to build with blocks, legos, and duplos. He also loves to build his train tracks and drive his cars around. He can be really fun to watch play.
11. Arwen is just talking so much! 
12. Suzy is a silly little thing. She laughs and laughs and loves to play. I put her pacifier in my mouth. She pulled it out and just cracked up and laughed long and hard. 

This Week's Pictures