Best Picture of Joseph

This picture was taken by my new friend, Christina, who I met through blogging. She is a mother of 8 and a good photographer. We have very few good pictures of Joseph, so I was so happy to get this one.

Check out Christina's photo blog at: http://handsfullphotos.blogspot.com/

Adam Said

Adam said. "After 10 years, I finally learned to swim." (Adam is 5)

Adam said, "I love Jesus as much as I love Poptropica and yellow."

Anya

My little Anya is such a funny girl. I am constantly amazed at this quiet little child. Anya has been slower to start talking than all of my other girls. But, it doesn't seem to have to do with ability as much as whether or not she has anything to say at all. If Anya is excited about something she will talk and talk in complete sentences, otherwise, Anya stays quiet. Of course, she is two and has her two year old moments where she says "no" to everything or just starts screaming. But on the whole, Anya is our very quiet child. I think at first, I just thought Anya didn't know very much-- that she was slow to develop. This is where I have been completely wrong. Anya is so very capable.

For a while now, I have referred to her as our survivor. If some thing was to happen to me and my kids were left alone for any period of time, Anya would take very good care of herself.  She knew exactly where we kept all of the food and the dishes within the first week we lived in our new home. If Anya is thirsty, she gets out a cup, goes to the bathroom and fills up her cup from the bathroom sink. (Anya used to dip the cup in the toilet instead. I am glad that one has changed. ) Anya gets herself apples and cereal all of the time. When Anya poops her pants or her diaper depending on whether she is wearing a diaper or underwear. She always changes her own diaper. (This is a good reason to get her potty trained as fast as possible.) If Anya wants a bath, she gets her toys, undresses, gets into the bath tub and turns on the water. (Luckily she hasn't figured out how to plug the bathtub yet.) If Anya spills or pees on the floor, she gets a towel and wipes it up. When Anya thinks she needs a bandaid, she gets a stool and gets into the cupboard with the medicine and bandaids, gets one, climbs down, opens the bandaid and puts it on. Anya also seems to do a pretty good job of taking care of Joseph. She hugs him when he cries. She even will try and dress him and change his diaper. I don't think Anya is left unattended very much, it is just that she is so quiet, disappears and then we find her doing these incredible things.

Anya does other funny things too. We often find little stuffed toys and dolls tucked into bed in random places. We bought a small metal framed pool. When she wants to swim, she simply undresses, and asks to go swimming. We usually let her swim naked. When I am using flashcards to teach Rachel and Adam, Anya is always there repeating the shapes and letters. When I tell everyone to get a book and to read, Anya gets a pile of picture books and she will sit for an hour looking through her books. When it is time to go some where, Anya is usually the first one with shoes (though usually not her own). Anya is just our cute, quiet, capable little baby.

What Anya Likes

At the end of family prayer when "amen" had been said, Anya jumped up and said, "Amen?? I like AMEN!"

Unnecessary Disagreement

Kate: You are just a human.
Adam (in a very whiney voice): No, I'm not.

13 Years

I forgot to post that my 13th wedding anniversary was Monday, June 7th. On Tuesday, June 8th, John and I went to the Salt Lake Temple to do sealings, and then we went out to eat at The Roof in the Joseph Smith memorial building. This was a special date because we were married in the Salt Lake Temple, and we ate at The Roof during our honey moon.  We hadn't eaten at The Roof since our honey moon, but dinner cost us $105.50, so we probably won't eat there for another 13 years.

I would write about what a wonderful husband and father John is. John is amazing. I am truly blessed with a truly great man as my companion. But, instead, I am going to tell a personal story from before we were married.

My story begins about 22 years ago when I was 12. I was riding with my mom, my sister Lila, and Lila's friend Tina to a Stake Young Womens activity about 45 minutes from our home in Maine. My Mom had the radio on. A song by Def Leopard, "Pour some Sugar on Me," came onto the radio. Lila and Tina blasted the radio. I laid down on the van seat and covered my ears with my arms. I did not like hard rock, and I thought that all boys with long hair were evil. Well, my mom said to me, "you are such a nerd." To give my mom credit, I am sure she did not mean any harm, and she was probably trying to play down my drama so Lila and Tina would not be offended. But, this statement had a profound effect on my 12 year old mind. I was truly hurt, and I was determined to be someone my mother would like. So right then and there I decided that I must learn to like hard rock and to be cool and not nerdy. I began watching MTV with my sister and her friends. (I previously thought MTV was evil.) I decided I would like Poison. So I bought a poster and put it on my bedroom wall, and began memorizing their songs. I did what I could to be like Lila. I even quit trying to be a good student in school, and my friends changed. Two years later, I didn't feel very good with my trying so hard to be cool ( I had to try really hard too, because my real self is really just a nerd.) I read the Book of Mormon through and gained a pretty strong testimony. But I was still conflicted. Most of my friends were not choosing the right. Conflicted is what I remained for years to come. When I was 15 and my sister, Lila had given up all hard rock and decided that Rap was the cool music, I turned to the alternative scene. I took up The Cure as my new favorite band, and I began memorizing Cure songs. Again, my friends changed. I was now, an alternative kid. My friends wore black, baggy weird clothes. I followed. My friends died their hair black and all kinds of colors. I followed. Fortunately, conflicted is what I remained. When I was 16 I decided to read 3 chapters in the Book of Mormon each night. I buckled down in seminary, went faithfully and learned the lessons. I went to all of the church youth activities, and I kept a 3.7 GPA. But by this time, I was very depressed and represented myself as a Cure fan. So I had a rocky/conflicted youth. By my senior year in high school most of my friends were gay and were trying to convince me that I was too. I just think, "YUCK!!!!!!!!!" now, and I am so very grateful for the safety I surrounded myself with by faithfully reading the scriptures.

Well, after high school, I wanted to be near Mormon kids, and I wanted to date Mormon guys. I did not get into BYU. So much to my parents dismay, I went to Ricks College. (I think there was divine intervention in my not going to BYU like I wanted to.) Ricks was fun, and I had great friends, who were really good people. But the guys I dated were all really bad. I know that one was even kicked out of school.One wanted me to do drugs. They were just bad. I still tried very hard to be cool, and I still kept the "I am alternative, cool Cure fan" identity. But all of my friends were good normal girls who were choosing the right. I believe they really thought I was cool-- funny enough.

By the end of Ricks, I decided that I needed to enter the world dressed like every one else. So I did away with the baggy pants and Cure t-shirts, and started looking like most everyone else. My home friends were disappointed. I was the only one with a job, so I felt pretty good about the decision. After Ricks, I decided that I wanted to be closer to home, but not too close. So instead of going to BYU, I went to the University of Michigan. My old bachelor Uncle lived in my grandparents house there, so I moved in with him for about $50 a month. I met John at the labor day picnic for the singles ward. We talked the entire time. I thought John was old and nerdy. John thought I was angry, cool  and 18. I was 20, and John was 24. We spent all of our time arguing about "the Fountainhead" by Ann Rand. But it was nice arguing. After about 4 hours of talking, John told me he needed to find someone with a car so he could buy a shower curtain. I had bought a car that summer so I offered. A few days later I got a call from John. We went out to eat and I took him shopping. John and I became friends really fast. We were not at all romantic. John thought he was too good for me, and I thought John was too good for me. But, I considered John my best friend. John probably didn't consider me his best friend, but I was the only person he spent any time with. I was excited to go home for Thanksgiving (My mom is an amazing cook) for the first time in two years. Since John's family lived in Utah, I invited him to come to  Maine with me. On the way there, I played Cure songs for John hoping to convince him that the Cure was good. (John only listened to Classical music.)  After a while, I asked John what he thought. John in his, "I am always right", blunt tone said, "I like this music too. I listened to it when I was 13. But I knew it was bad and quit right away. I cannot marry someone who listens to music like this because I don't want my children growing up with bad music." This statement  hit me about as hard as my mother calling me a nerd when I was 12. I began thinking about all of the horrible guys I had dated. I always said that I would never marry any of them. In fact, I really disliked all but one of the guys I dated. I also realized that what I really wanted in life was to marry a good man like John. I wanted to to marry some one who studied the scriptures and listened to all the sessions of conference. I wanted to marry some one who loved God more than anything else. In fact, I knew that was who I had been really wanting to be for the past 6 years. I didn't make John listen to any more of my music on that trip, and when I got home, I threw away all of my cd's except for the Cranberries and John Denver who I didn't think were bad. I stunned John. He felt bad and bought me classical music cd's. But, I think that John started to respect me at that point.

I felt better once I gave up that music. I wasn't conflicted any more. The only way I can describe my feelings on the matter are it felt like how it feels when you finally pay off a large amount of debt. I was free. I am actually very grateful to John for his little life changing statement.

The rest is history. John and I stayed just friends for about 4 more months. But since we spent all of our spare time together and I had withdrawn any barriers we were just bound to fall in love. John still thought he was too good for me, and I still thought John was too good me. I remember telling my Bishop that I needed to quit hanging out with John because I knew things were changing from just friends and I was not good enough for him. My Bishop actually laughed and said John could not see what good thing he had in front of him. I think that is why I went ahead with the relationship. Once engaged, I decided that I would be the best wife I could so that I could be as good as John. We laugh at that now too, but it was sure the right decision. I still hope I can be an amazing wife for my amazing husband.

 

Here I am as a nerdy 12 year old.

Here I am with black hair, bad clothes and friends at 16

Here are John and I just after we were married

Odds and Ends

When I first started blogging, I was very conscientious about how I wrote my posts. Now, I really just journal. I suppose, I don't feel like I have the time to pay careful attention to how  I write things, or to make sure they sound interesting or funny.  So here is a very round about journally post that will not be written well, and probably won't be very funny or interesting. Here goes boring post:

Johnny has had this lose tooth forever, at least since December. He won't even wiggle it. Ruth woke up with a lose tooth yesterday and pulled two out a few hours later. We are worried about Johnny's teeth growing in crooked; we have warned him that braces will hurt a lot more than pulling out his baby teeth. Finally, we grounded him from all electronics until he gets those teeth out. He's still not very motivated. I pulled at his tooth some, he cried, and said, "Now I have a toothache!"

My kids have the stomach flu again!!!!!!! In fact exactly a year ago, we had the worst stomach flu ever with 4 kids puking all night long, 5 kids the next day. I can't believe we had a child wake up in the middle of the night sick with the stomach flu on the anniversary of that night. UGGGHHHHH. So I must count. Since we moved to Utah just over a year ago we have had the stomach flu, or at least one kid puking, last June, twice in October, once in November, twice in January, twice in February, once in March, another very bad one around the move in April, once in May, and now in June. I have had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have framed pictures of my kids art up in the kitchen. Last night, I switched some of the pictures with the help of Ruth and Kate. This morning, Ruth, Kate, and Johnny sat at the table making nicely colored drawings to replace their old ones. I just loved watching them so peacefully drawing and coloring. Rachel, who is currently sick, came down later, saw the new pictures on the wall and drew a colorful one too.

Johnny's hair has reached the point of yucky too long. He looks like Shaggy on Scooby Doo minus the facial hair. Kate tried to finish the picture by drawing some facial hair on Johnny's chin for him. I think it is time to get the scissors out.

We are supposed to have our family picture taken tomorrow, but I think it will be rainy and cold and we may a have a sick kid. I should probably cancel, but we have been trying to do this for months.

It is cold enough outside today that I shut off the central air and turned on the heat.

Okay, so that is the end of my random thoughts about life right now.

Stop Sending Me This

I accidently signed up for this email from a website called newsmax. I hate the emails they send. They are dramatic and annoying. I have tried twice to get off their email list but to no avail. But here us a sample of the ridiculous things I get in my inbox almost daily.

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General Conference Talk Summary: Robert D. Hales

Robert D. Hales: Our Duty to God: The Mission of Parents and Leaders to the Rising Generation

• "For all of us, doing our duty to God as parents and leaders begins with leading by example—consistently and diligently living gospel principles at home. This takes daily determination and diligence."
• "It is impossible to overestimate the influence of parents who understand the hearts of their children."
• "For our interactions with youth to truly touch their hearts, we have to pay attention to them just as we would pay attention to a trusted adult colleague or close friend. Most important is asking them questions, letting them talk, and then being willing to listen."
• "Mother, Father, are you in there? Grandpa, Grandma, are you there? Being there means understanding the hearts of our youth and connecting with them. And connecting with them means not just conversing with them but doing things with them too."
• "The greatest missionary work we will ever do will be in our homes. Our homes, quorums, and classes are part of the mission field. Our children and grandchildren are our most important investigators."
• "The greatest faith we have will be within our homes as we remain strong in the trials and tribulations of parenthood. To a small group of mothers, President Monson recently said, “Sometimes we are too quick to judge the effect of our successes and failures.” May I add, don’t look at today’s trials as eternal. Heavenly Father does His work in the long term. “There is much which lieth in futurity,” the Prophet Joseph Smith said. “Therefore, . . . let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed” (D&C 123:15, 17)."

My favorite part of this talk is the "are you there?"  For years, I thought that when my youngest child entered first grade, I would go back to college and get that coveted bachelor's degree that I chose to put off after I got pregnant with Ruth. Then about 2 years ago I realized that if I did that, then I would not be there for my children, and I wouldn't be there for them at a time when I would be needed even more than when they were babies. I knew that I could not keep a nice home, make dinners, help my kids with their school work, know what they are doing, and just be there to talk and to be a friend, plus attend classes, complete homework assignments, and study for and take exams. I gave up that dream 100% that day. How tragic would it be if I was busy getting good grades and being smart while not making sure my children were busy getting good grades, and more importantly, gaining strong testimonies. I want to be there. I want to know their friends. I want to know what they are thinking and feeling, and to do this, I will give up what I have to. Some days that means sleep. It means nice clothing, and sometimes it means dreams. But, I think I am a way better learner now than when I was working for that degree. Heavenly Father does have a way of taking care of parents and children.

Change = Challenge

So, there have been a few things in my life that I think I am just great at and then something in my life changes and I realize that no, I actually stink. This has happened recently. But first, I will have to tell of a time long ago. Back in the college days and early marriage, I thought I did not have a temper. I never got angry. I never yelled. If some one disagreed with me, I didn't argue back (I just thought they were stupid ;)). Then, Ruth turned 2, and BAM!! Ruth followed another family out of the library onto a busy road and the next thing I knew we were in the car heading home and I was yelling. I was down right angry with my little 2 year old. So, I found out that I did indeed have a temper. I am still working on this one. Hopefully, but not likely, I will get this one fixed in 10 more  months before I have a teenager. Now, fast forward 9+ years. At this point in time, I think I do a really good job at being nice to people who are not nice to me. I think that I am a really good neighbor and friend. I don't gossip. I cut down the bothersome tree. I make brownies for the neighbor that gets mad when my kid crashes her bike into their car. I never say anything grumpy to the condescending doctor. I don't get upset when my friends kid dumps out all of our toys and pees in them. I think I am pretty good. I think being of one heart and one mind isn't so hard. Then we move out near family, and spend a lot of time in other people's business and other people spend a lot of time in our business and suddenly, I gossip a little here and there, about people I care way more about than the grumpy neighbor. Someone says something to me that hurts my feelings and I am upset for several days. I want to say mean things back or not talk to them anymore or all of these ridiculous feelings I had never had before. Suddenly, I realize that I have a problem that I thought I didn't. So, now, like my temper, I have reached a new challenge in life. I need to learn to that if I hear intimate details about people I absolutely cannot gossip or judge that person. I think just walking away from conversations like that is a pretty good idea too. I need to learn to not be angry when I find out that other people have been gossiping about me. I need to shut up and not respond when people are saying things to me that hurt my feelings. I am determined to do better. And of course, I need to not judge people when they gossip or say something mean to someone else. I really do believe in Zion. I really do think we can live next door to people, family, and anyone else, and get along perfectly. I want it to be like that in my home, and I want it to be like that with our extended families and neighbors too.

Sweet and Funny Kids

Here are two cute kids things that I wanted to get written down.

1.Rachel's Prayer:  Heavenly Father, help James to get a job because he is poor and he is praying.


2.Kate's Sharing Time Answer:

The teacher told a story about a girl who asked her mom to buy her a candy bar. When the mom said no, the girl stole a candy bar from the store.
Teacher: What should the girl do next time instead?
Kate: She should have asked her Mom to buy broccoli.

General Conference Talk Summary: David A. Bednar

David A. Bednar: Watching With All Perseverance

• "Spiritual warnings should lead to increasingly vigilant watching. You and I live in “a day of warning” (D&C 63:58). And because we have been and will be warned, we need to be, as the Apostle Paul admonished, “watching . . . with all perseverance” (Ephesians 6:18)."
• "I pray for the guidance of the Holy Ghost as I describe a spiritual early warning system that can help parents in Zion to be watchful and discerning concerning their children. This early warning system applies to children of all ages and contains three basic components: (1) reading and talking about the Book of Mormon with your children, (2) bearing testimony of gospel truths spontaneously with your children, and (3) inviting children as gospel learners to act and not merely be acted upon. Parents who do these things faithfully will be blessed to recognize early signals of spiritual growth in or challenges with their children and be better prepared to receive inspiration to strengthen and help those children."
• " Regular reading of and talking about the Book of Mormon invite the power to resist temptation and to produce feelings of love within our families. And discussions about the doctrines and principles in the Book of Mormon provide opportunities for parents to observe their children, to listen to them, to learn from them, and to teach them."
• "Parents should be vigilant and spiritually attentive to spontaneously occurring opportunities to bear testimony to their children. Such occasions need not be programmed, scheduled, or scripted. In fact, the less regimented such testimony sharing is, the greater the likelihood for edification and lasting impact."
• "The reactions of children to such impromptu testimony bearing and their eagerness or reluctance to participate are potent sources of spiritual early warning signals."
• "As gospel learners, we should be “doers of the word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22). Our hearts are opened to the influence of the Holy Ghost as we properly exercise agency and act in accordance with correct principles—and we thereby invite His teaching and testifying power. Parents have the sacred responsibility to help children to act and to seek learning by faith. And a child is never too young to take part in this pattern of learning."
• "Are you and I helping our children become agents who act and seek learning by study and by faith, or have we trained our children to wait to be taught and acted upon? Are we as parents primarily giving our children the equivalent of spiritual fish to eat, or are we consistently helping them to act, to learn for themselves, and to stand steadfast and immovable? Are we helping our children become anxiously engaged in asking, seeking, and knocking? (See 3 Nephi 14:7.)"
• " The spiritual understanding you and I have been blessed to receive, and which has been confirmed as true in our hearts, simply cannot be given to our children. The tuition of diligence and of learning by study and also by faith must be paid to obtain and personally “own” such knowledge. Only in this way can what is known in the mind also be felt in the heart. Only in this way can a child move beyond relying upon the spiritual knowledge and experiences of parents and adults and claim those blessings for himself or herself. Only in this way can our children be prepared spiritually for the challenges of mortality.
  "

My Thoughts:


I feel like of all of the talks I have gone over so far, this is the one we have to work on the most. I have listened to this talk several times since it was given in April, but I have only just come to realize that Elder Bednar wishes us to read and discuss the Book of Mormon, bear our testimonies spontaneously, and invite our children to act so that as parents we can know by their reaction how they are feeling about gospel matters and spiritual things. If a child is eager to talk about the scriptures then that is a good sign. If a child seems embarrassed by a spiritual conversation or annoyed then that is a warning to the parents. John has been doing a really good job at talking to the kids about spiritual things. I need to get into a better habit of making spiritual matters a part of my daily conversation with my children. Our stake president has asked that every member of our stake read the Book of Mormon by November 20th. He has included the very young children in this as well. We have been reading three pages of the Book of Mormon each day to our children. That is up from about 10 verses. Our family scripture study is a lot harder, but it has been a lot better. John has really gotten the kids to participate and to ask questions, and to seek out the meaning of the scriptures. I think this has been good for our family in following Elder Bednar's counsel.

We Went to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo

We went to the zoo for a memorial day activity, and while the Salt lake City Hogle Zoo is not nearly as great as the Sedgwick County Zoo, we had a nice family time.  I loved just seeing my line of kids walk through so good and happy and together. Anya was so cute looking excitedly at all of the animals. She walked the whole time.

General Conference Talk Summary: L. Tom Perry

Elder L. Tom Perry: Mothers Teaching Children in the Home

• "My mother understood the value of teaching her children about standards, values, and doctrine while they were young. While she was grateful to others who taught her children outside the home at either school or church, she recognized that parents are entrusted with the education of their children and, ultimately, parents must ensure that their children are being taught what their Heavenly Father would have them learn."
• "The scope of Mother’s teaching included both secular and spiritual lessons. She made sure none of us were falling behind in our schoolwork, which she would often supplement."
• "Teaching in the home is becoming increasingly important in today’s world, where the influence of the adversary is so widespread and he is attacking, attempting to erode and destroy the very foundation of our society, even the family. Parents must resolve that teaching in the home is a most sacred and important responsibility. While other institutions, such as church and school, can assist parents to “train up a child in the way he [or she] should go” (Proverbs 22:6), ultimately this responsibility rests with parents."
• "Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time. They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world. The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home."
• "While circumstances do vary and the ideal isn’t always possible, I believe it is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation. We see so many challenges today from distracting and destructive influences intended to mislead God’s children. We are seeing many young people who lack the deep spiritual roots necessary to remain standing in faith as storms of unbelief and despair swirl around them. Too many of our Father in Heaven’s children are being overcome by worldly desires. The onslaught of wickedness against our children is at once more subtle and more brazen than it has ever been. Teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in the home adds another layer of insulation to protect our children from worldly influences."

My Thoughts:
I have always thought that it is ultimately my responsibility to teach my children. I have always felt that if my child doesn't read well enough or is behind in math that I need to teach them additionally at home. I think this has done wonders. When I was a young mother with very small children, I was in a primary presidency. I was very strongly impressed as to how little we could actually do for the primary children. The children who were happy and gaining testimonies and choosing the right were the one's whose parents taught them at home. The children who were sent to primary as the only way to learn the gospel and didn't get instruction in the home were rebellious and disruptive and made jokes out of gospel principles. I was really worried about these kids. It is hard to know what to do for kids whose parents don't teach them. I agree 100% with this talk and need to continue to make education both spiritual and secular important in our home because our children are under attack.