Trunk or Treat

 We had our annual ward trunk or Treat and chili cook off last night! And this year we have Rachel the Zebra, Scooby Doo Joseph, Ninja Adam, Iron Man Johnny, Crocodile Josh, Wicked Kate Witch, Butterfly Anya, Shakespearean Ruth, and Eskimo Arwen.

 The kids "trunk or treat" in the parking lot. Then we go into the church for games and chili. And then there is an amazing, well done, spooky, gorey spook alley for anyone who wants to be creeped out. Our ward does an excellent job making Halloween fun. In fact, the whole neighborhood attends-- not just the Mormons.

 A guy in our ward dressed up as Mitt Romney-- Impressive!

 And so the mess begins. My method is to let them eat as much candy as they want to as fast as possible because let's just say 8 kids can make a huge mess with a pile of candy! The less I have to clean this up, the happier I am!

New Car

bobble-head Josh

Wish it was a real new car... I gave in and let Josh pick out a little hot wheels car at Target yesterday, even though it is neither Christmas or his birthday. He is just so cute, I couldn't help myself. And let me tell you, that was a well spent $.97. He hasn't put it down. He drives it over everything. We are hearing a constant drone of, "vrrrrrrrrrr"

Drive

 We've had this 36 piece dinosaur floor puzzle since Ruth was 2.5. The last two years I kept it in storage because my kids are destructive and I did not want to loose the pieces. But, when I changed out the summer clothes for the winter clothes a few weeks ago I found that I needed more storage space. Out came the puzzle. I just stuck it on a reachable shelf in Anya, Rachel, and Joseph's bedroom closet. A couple days later, the puzzles was part in their bedroom, part in the downstairs toys, part in my bedroom, part in the laundry room etc. Then Anya and Joseph realized they could match the picture together and do they puzzle. They spent three hours one morning putting the puzzle together and seeking out all of the pieces to the puzzle. They actually found them all. And NOW-- Joseph is OBCESSED and ADORABLE! He spends hours every day building the puzzle, breaking the puzzle, building the puzzle... His favorite place is the halfway point on the stairs.

All of my boys have displayed this sort of drive and force to figure something out.I am always pleased to see my boys using their natural drive to problem solve and discover. It is just a good thing!

Joys

Joy is:

 Kids who love you,

 Baby's Smiles,

 New kittens,

 Hard work and chocolate cookies,

 Siblings that get along,

and siblings that adore each other.

Rachel: My Chatterbox

Rachel excitedly came home from school with a free kids meal to Costa Vida for reading lots of minutes. I promised her a date. Rachel wanted mom and dad to come along on her date so the three of us went tonight. Rachel is my biggest chatter box, and she has a million interesting things to say.

On the way there, we asked Rachel about her friends at school. She told us about her three best friends, Morgan, Riley, and Logan. Riley and Logan are both boys. Morgan has a crush on Logan and Rachel has a crush on Riley. Rachel told me how Morgan said that she is going to marry two boys because she wants to have so many kids that it is going to take two boys. Rachel told Morgan that she would not go to heaven if she married two  boys. Then Morgan agreed with Rachel that it is better to only marry one boy.

Rachel told us about another girl who never keeps her promises. She said that this one girl always tells another girl that she is going to play with her at recess and then never does. She said the girls is only nice half of the time. The other half of the time she is mean. Rachel said that her friends are always nice to her.

In the restaurant, Rachel told us how all of the food tasted yucky and how her drink tasted funny (apparently because of the bubbles).

On the way home, Rachel said she and Anya and Joseph always turn on the bedroom light after we leave their room at night. Sometimes they put a puzzle together and sometimes they play games. Rachel told us how Anya made up this game where they jump from the top bunk onto Joseph's bed. Anya named the game, "The Biggest Jump". Rachel said that she is the best at it.

Then Rachel told us that when she gets tired she makes Joseph and Anya scratch her back. We asked her how she made them do it. She said that they always do what she says because for some reason they think she is the boss of the room. Rachel said that sometimes Anya thinks she is the boss of the room and will not do what Rachel says, but that Joseph always does what Rachel tells him to do and that he never tries to be the boss.

Rachel is fun to talk to. She brings me into this secret life of my middle kids that I don't really know anything about. I'm glad Rachel likes to tell all. I love hearing all.

Feeling a Bit Frightened

This is my most expensive birthday present. John bought me the Utah Valley HALF Marathon. So it is happening. I will have to run a half marathon June 8, 2013. I am terrified. I couldn't even run the mile in the 4th grade. I am NOT a runner. This will be hard work for me, but I need a healthy body to be the best mom I can be. So starting this week, exercise means more. It means training.

Such a Fun Kid

I could probably write, "Such a fun kid" about all of my kids. Today, I am thinking of Joseph. He's my happy little guy. I love his humor and his smiles and his love of food and his imagination and his gorgeous hazel eyes. This kid just melts my heart every.single.day.

Birthdays!

In our family, birthday season is close to year round. The recent birthdays belonged to mom and dad. John turned the ancient age of 41 last Sunday, and I turned the nearly ancient age of 37 today.

 Now for another happy year together!

Oh Joshua

This little boy is going through quite a stage now. Not only is his beautiful blonde hair different from all of the rest, so are his cuddles, his anxious-for-friendsness, and his screams.

Little brother LOVES to scream. He screams when he is hungry. He screams when someone leaves the house and he can't go. He screams when he is tired. He screams when he is happily playing. Curiously, he doesn't scream all that much when he fall down. Falling down-- that seems to be an additional stage along with the screaming stage.

Little Brother falls down A LOT! He falls when he climbs up. He falls when he climbs down. He falls from his high chair. He even pushed his chair back until it fell over backwards. He falls on his forehead, and he falls on the back of his head. I wish he'd QUIT FALLING!

Josh seems to want to be a big kid. He always wants to come along to all of the big kid things. (Too bad, he also likes to scream in public.) Josh wants to have friends to over to play, just like the big kids.  His cousin, Grahm came to play. Josh got out his toys and presented them to Grahm. He seemed much more excited than all my other 21 month old babies to have a friend come and play. In a way he mimicked what the older kids do, when their friends come to play.

Josh LOVES Gramma!!! He cries when we leave Gramma or Gramma leaves us. He hugs her a lot. He gets jealous when Gramma hugs her other grandchildren. Josh just loves, loves, loves Gramma.

I love, love, love Josh. He is an adorable baby. But I do not love, love, love his screams!!! I look forward to having a calmer Little Brother. But for now, I am trying to enjoy the cuteness while timing him out for the screams.

The New Gender Gap

United Families International recently asked a poll question about raising daughters versus raising sons in today’s culture. The results were split. About half the people who voted felt like daughters were harder to raise, while the other half thought that sons were harder to raise. Having 5 daughters and 4 sons, my husband and I have a very strong opinion on this matter—we worry about our boys.

We have several reasons to worry more about our sons than our daughters.

Education

Boys are behind girls in education and earning college diplomas. The institute for Education Science lists some fast facts. Between 2008 and 2009 more than 60 percent of all associates, bachelor, and master degrees were earned by women, and more than 50 percent of doctorate and professional degrees were earned by women. There are now more women in professional careers than there are men.

The National Honors Society reports that 64 percent of its members — outstanding high school students— are girls. In elementary schools in every state in the United States, boys are falling behind in reading.

Nicholas D. Kristof of the New York Times, in 2010 reported that:

¶The average high school grade point average is 3.09 for girls and 2.86 for boys. Boys are almost twice as likely as girls to repeat a grade.

¶Boys are twice as likely to get suspended as girls, and three times as likely to be expelled. Estimates of dropouts vary, but it seems that about one-quarter more boys drop out than girls.

¶In federal writing tests, 32 percent of girls are considered “proficient” or better. For boys, the figure is 16 percent.

While there are many theories for why more boys are having trouble in school, there is nothing
conclusive. One sure fact is that schools are failing our boys.

Pornography and Gender Neutrality

The prominence, acceptance and accessibility of pornography are especially harmful to boys. In William M. Struthers book, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain , he says:

The simplest explanation for why men view pornography ... is they are driven to seek out sexual
intimacy... Satisfying this drive is pleasurable. Sexual intercourse and the naked form of women are enjoyable…The male brain is built like an ideal pornography receiver, wired to be on the alert for these images of nakedness... the images of sexuality grab our attention, jumping out and hypnotizing a man like an HD television among a sea of standard televisions.
All types of media, know this to be true. One cannot drive down the highway in our city without
seeing billboard sized women in bikinis. One cannot go to a grocery or department store without
seeing magazines full of nearly naked and sexually posed women. The internet is very dangerous.
Advertisements with practically naked women pop up on otherwise innocent websites. The
pornography industry is a billion dollar industry. Pornography is very harmful to boys.

The popular idea that girls and boys are the same and that gender does not matter is, like pornography, more harmful to boys. As a result of this theory, parents are not teaching their sons what it means to be masculine. When gender doesn’t matter, society no longer believes that a good male role model is important for a boy. Nathan A. Cherry from the Engage Family Blog wrote:

And parents, rather than actually being parents and teaching their sons how to be men and their
daughters how to be women let their 3 and 4 year olds make all the decisions regarding their gender
identity and sexuality. Incidentally, has anyone ever noticed that little girls are rarely confused about
their gender identity, but little boys seem to be the ones mostly “confused?” I guess the idea of removing a father from the upbringing of a little boy really does have consequences.

Movies, Television, and Video Games

Media—movies, television shows, and video games-- both the addictiveness and messages in the media are harmful to boys. In movies and television shows, “The typical male portrayed in the entertainment media is clueless, socially inept, irresponsible and immature.” (CROUSE: Sacrificing boys to promote girls - Washington Times). One of the more recent popular children’s movies that illustrate this is the Disney’s 2010 version of Rapunzel. Rapunzel is a spirited, intelligent girl who can accomplish anything. All of the male characters are bumbling thieves and that need protecting and healing from Rapunzel. Like many movies today, Rapunzel is stronger than all the men. She is intelligent and talented while all of the male characters are ”socially inept, irresponsible and immature.”

As parents we don’t have to wonder why our daughters say that they ”want to be princesses who
grow up to ninjas” and our boys complain that they can’t measure up because “girls are stronger and
smarter”.

Video game addiction is real and affects mainly boys and men. A brain-imaging study by researchers at Stanford's school of medicine displayed gender differences in the brains of men and women playing a video game:

The researchers found greater activation in male brains in three brain structures - the nucleus
accumbens, amygdala, and orbitofrontal cortex - and that the brain activity increased according to how much territory they had gained. The female brains showed no such correlation.

What Can Be Done?

Parents, be advocates for your boys in school. If your son is struggling or falling behind, find out why and do everything you can to help your sons succeed. Make education important. Have enforced rules about the internet and gaming. We do not let our children have cell phones or kindles or any hand held device that connects to the internet. When we first had children, we decided our children would not have TV in their bedrooms. When the time came to decide about internet usage, we understood that if a TV in a bedroom could be harmful to a child, internet in their pocket would be a lot more harmful.

Allow your boys to do sports and be physically active, but do not let sports be more important than time with the family.

And finally, make sure boys have a good male role model. If you have a traditional family, that is great. If circumstances have made it so your son does not have a father in the home then make sure your son has an uncle or a grandfather nearby or that he has a good, working relationship with his father. Boys need good men to help them succeed.

Neglected Blog and Updates

This is the longest period of time that I have neglected this blog. We lost one desk top (We think it is the mother board) and the hard drive in the laptop just a month apart. All of our pictures and all of our documents that we had kept on those two computers are unattainable now. John is buying an external hard drive reader to restore the files from the desk top, but everything on the laptop is gone.

With the desktop out of commission, I have a harder time getting any writing done. I used to just sit down at the desktop in the kitchen and type something quickly while making dinner. Now I have to track down one of the two working laptops which we bought for school the day before the desk top died. That is why this blog has been so neglected.

In the meantime, Arwen passed the 2 month mark. She is a peaceful little baby. She started sleeping from 10:30 until 7:00 the next morning at 7 weeks. I am a little funny because while I am glad to be getting the rest, I have mourned the loss of her company in the middle of the night. I really enjoyed just cuddling and feeding her in the quiet of the night.

Josh is definitely jealous of Arwen. Josh saw me taking pictures of Arwen. He screamed and then put himself between the camera and Arwen, smiled big and said "Cheese"! I loved it!!! Funny little boy. Of course, I took a bunch of pictures him. We still love Josh too.

Joseph is actually sleeping in his own bed now. I am glad that Rachel and Anya have been patient with him for the last year and a half  and haven't minded him sleeping with them. It is funny how I used to really care where my little ones slept. Now I only care that they are sleeping and not with me.

Anya knows nearly all of her alphabet and all of the sounds and it is all thanks to StarFall.com. I haven't had enough time to really work with her. It is wonderful to live in a day with free computer programs just there on the internet. I don't feel guilty either because StarFall is a much funner way to learn the alphabet. The five older kids had to do it with a sighing mom and homemade flash cards.

Rachel told me about every other student in her class. She knows all of their names and something about everyone-- who they like, who their friends are, what they like to do. Rachel even knows and tells me the intimate details of the lives of some of her closer friends. Like she knows how many kids are in their families. I thought Ruth and Adam were my social kids, but it took them 5 months to even remember the names of their friends when they started school.

Adam has become our amazing athlete. Last month he perfected his front hand spring and now he can do it 7 times in a row and without running. He can also do front flips (the no hands thing) on the trampoline. He surprised us a week ago by coming home from school and showing us that he could do a back bend. Then on Friday, Adam came home from school and said, "I got it! Watch this Mom." Then he did a back hand spring, and a back walk over. This may not be impressive to some, but we are very impressed. Adam has never had gymnastics and he didn't watch the olympics.

Johnny is doing well with school. I am nagging him a lot less then I did last year. And as usual, I am very impressed with his math skills. While all of the other kids his age are learning long division Johnny is factoring polynomials and beginning to sove equations through factoring. Dividing polynomials comes next. Then he will do slope-intercept format, solving with square roots and it is onto geometry. He is also learning the grammar rules and applications he will need to know for the SAT and ACT. Johnny seems to understand grammar the way he does math, if only he could apply those rules to his writing.

Kate is my main man. She helps me so much everyday. I wouldn't want to get along without my little helping hand there everyday. But, next year Kate is going back to school for 9th grade. Seminary is at the schools here and we live at least 15 minutes away from the older grade schools. It is easier to send the older kids on the bus and have them go to school, then to do all of the driving it will take everyday to get them to seminary and back while home schooling.

And Ruth, she went to her first school dance. The Bountiful school dances are just like church dances. That is a perk of living in Utah. Ruth is exercising and eating healthy all of her own choice and she is looking quite beautiful. Ruth is my main man in the evenings. After she finishes her regular chores, she just comes and helps me clean the kitchen. I am quite enjoying my teenagers. They are good and fun to have.

I think God wants me to exercise because when I thought I should get started but was wondering if I would be too tired to exercise consistently, Arwen started sleeping through the night. When I was wondering about how to pay for a treadmill, I found a working one for $30 while looking for used digital cameras. So I am doing it. I am exercising and I am hating it.

John's job really stinks and while John would never say this and I can really only infer from the few criptic things he has said, John's boss is a jerk. So John is looking for another job--yeah!!! I am hoping for better benefits. Ruth and Kate both badly need braces. I am hoping for the dental coverage we had in Wichita that covered cleaning 100% and everything else at 50%. We haven't been to the dentist for more than a year and a half but have been paying for the crappy insurance we can't afford to use.

That's the update. Today is General Conference and John's 41st birthday. Our life isn't perfect and often tough, but we do have a wonderful family! I am a blessed wife and mother.