More on Joseph

Joseph is so funny. He loves to laugh-- he just loves humor. When we say no to Joseph, he wags his finger at us, laughs and says, "no,no,no." It is hard to punish the kid. If I start to get mad at all, he laughs and acts like it is all just a joke. I love it! How can you not?  But sometimes, I go ahead and remove him to his room or make him clean his mess-- like when he decides to color the wall or rip a library book. He can still be a stinker-- just a funny one.

Joseph talks a whole bunch compared to most of our kids at 21 months. He astounds all of us (that talk already) every day. He speaks in 4 to 5 word sentences. He is our second big mouth. Like Kate, Joseph is never quiet, and he has a lot to say. One of his favorite things to say right now is, "Mom, look..." He is constantly showing me things.

Yesterday he figured out how to build his wooden train track. Every time he put another piece on the track, he would throw both of his arms into the air, shout, "Mom, look! My tain." Then he would do a little dance.

Joseph has been bringing books up to show to Joshua. When Joshua is in his swing, Joseph will bring over a book and turn all of the pages for him. Joshua, even though he gets knocked by the book some, smiles the whole time. It is nice that they are so close in age and really seem to enjoy each other. Joseph is a fun kid!

Easter

We had a good Easter. We did Easter bunny stuff on Easter, which in the past we have postponed for a week to get the candy on the 75% off sale. But this year John wanted to be like every one else and do Easter candy on Easter, and I wanted not so much candy as we get when it is 75% off.

Surprisingly, none of the candy stuff seemed to take away from the real meaning of Easter. I have always been quite clear that there is no such thing as an Easter Bunny, so that is not an issue. The 4 oldest kids stuffed the plastic eggs, and Ruth and Kate helped hide the eggs. Then they all found candy filled eggs Easter morning. Ruth and Kate were rather bossy about the proper way to find eggs, so we will not let them hide the eggs in the future. However, Ruth and Kate went to the thrift store the day before and bought the other 6 kids stuffed bunnies. I was very touched with their generosity. They enjoyed putting all the presents they bought into the Easter baskets.

After the kids ate a jelly bean, chocolate breakfast, and I cleaned up a jelly bean chocolate breakfast mess (about an hour clean up). We had a very nice lesson about Easter. I got the lesson idea from another blogger here. We didn't do the treat part, but the lesson part went amazingly well. The kids seemed to gain a deeper appreciation of what the Savior suffered for us. Thanks for posting the idea other blog mom.

Church was next from 1 to 4. Then we came home and made a big ham dinner with our favorite orange rolls. The orange rolls were our favorite part of the dinner. We could have just had orange rolls and I think we would have still felt like it was a holiday dinner. My brother and Sister came for the dinner. We had fun chatting with them. And thanks to Duncan Hines we had a cake for dessert.

I did a terrible job at planning for Easter this year. We lucked out and had a nice celebration of the Resurrection and Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ. We are so grateful for His love and sacrifice. What a blessing it is to have these truths in our life and to know that because of Jesus Christ's sacrifices, we can live as a happy family forever.

Kid Stuff

John said, "I'm such a dufus." Anya excitedly replied, "I want to do fisses too."

Ruth brought Adam's size five pajamas for John to put on 18 month sized Joseph. Rachel knew right away just from seeing  the material that those were Adam's pajamas. John disagreed until he unfolded them. He still put them on Joseph to tease Ruth.

I brought Joseph and Adam to the mountains for a short walk while Rachel and Anya were in their dance class. For about the first ten minutes, Joseph would point up and say, "Look Mom, tees." It was soooo cute. Adam was really excited to be in the mountains too. I can't wait to take him hiking this summer.

Rachel's Dreams

Rachel asked, "Are we having just candy for dinner? I dreamed that we had just candy for dinner."
I answered, "No. I am afraid that only happens in dreams."

A little while later, Rachel said to Kate, "I do not have to pick up the living room because I dreamed that I did not have to pick up the living room."
Kate said, "Sorry Rachel. Dreams don't come true."
To which Rachel replied, "ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE."

Mom, Dad, Kate, and Ruth echoed, "Rachel, clean up the living room."

How I Do It: Organization in a Big Family Part IV

Me with the child that got me started on scheduling

Scheduling

A long time ago when Kate was just a year old, I learned something very valuable that has helped me in being a mother to so many. After Kate turned one, she had consistent trouble with temper tantrums. After some prayer and serious observations, I learned that Kate would play happily all day except when we would transition from one thing to the next. She particularly had trouble when we had to go some place. This observation brought me back to my college days when I worked with children with ADHD and autism. 

I worked for a while in a pre-school with several different teachers. One classroom of kids stood out from the others. Most of the the classrooms went through a series of tragedies every day, except for this one. So I talked to this one teacher about what she did differently. She mentioned two main ideas. 

                                       1. At the beginning of the school year, she immediately punished any wrong behaviors, no exceptions. She said that the first month was awful, but after that the kids knew where they stood with her and for the most part behaved. This was obvious.

                                        2. She made a schedule and stuck to it better than glue. This schedule even included bathroom breaks. She said that she noticed that kids with disabilities tended to have break downs when things changed. But if they knew what was going to happen next they were okay with the change. 

With Kate breaking down during transitions, I thought it was time to put #2 into affect. I wrote a daily schedule, and stuck to it. After about a month, Kate quit having temper tantrums, and she would let me do the house work and cook dinner with out too much trouble. Through out my parenting of different toddlers, sticking to a schedule has helped our home be more peaceful and has helped me keep the house cleaner with fewer temper tantrums. 

Since Joshua was born I have had trouble sticking with my schedule and my younger children have had more trouble with coloring on the walls, fighting, and making ridiculous messes. My older children have had more trouble with doing their homework and chores cheerfully. Once, I decided to home school next school year, I felt pushed to get back on my schedule and things are calming down once more. The little kids don't bother me too much while I do my chores because they expect that to be happening everyday and they know that I will be attending to them and playing with them shortly. Scheduling for toddlers means throwing spontaneity out. And certainly, as far as life goes, it is not possible to stick to the same schedule every day. But when we do and can, my kids are happier. They know what to expect and I get more time playing, reading and just being with my kids.

I want to say that while advice #1 from the great teacher works well in a classroom setting, I do not recommend it for home life. As far as punishing behaviors go, it is good and works best to be consistent, but I think the only real solution is being good, and calm and keeping up on your prayers and scripture study so that you can hear the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I believe in home life, we need mercy a lot more than we need it in a classroom. I know that I need mercy from my husband and children and that my children need it from me and my husband and each other. Only the Holy Ghost can tell you when it is appropriate to be stern and when it is appropriate to extend mercy.

If anyone cares, here is my current daily schedule. This changes with the times and seasons, but here is what we do now:

6:30am Joshua wakes up to eat.

6:50am Ruth and I wake up. I unload the dishwasher, and start the laundry, while Ruth gets ready for school.

7:15am I read from the New Era to Ruth while she eats breakfast.

7:30am Ruth leaves for the bus, I do more laundry or attend to the baby,

7:45am I wake up the rest of the family and get breakfast on the table.

8:00am I get breakfast for the rest of the kids and read to them from the Friend. 

8:20am I check email, while Kate and Johnny get ready for school.

8:30am Kate and Johnny leave for school, and I feed the baby and start my morning big chore.

10:00am I get the little kids and myself cleaned and dressed.

10:30am I feed the baby and then we bake a snack together.

11:00am We have home school pre-school, coloring and drawing time.

11:45am We read stories.

12:15pm We have lunch

12:38pm We take Adam to school.

1:00pm This is nap time: Joseph goes to bed. I watch a show with Anya and Rachel while I feed Joshua. Then I put Joshua to bed and exercise. Rachel and anya watch a 30-40 minute show. Anya usually goes to sleep. 

2:30pm Rachel plays and I read blogs. And feed the baby before 3:30.

3:30pm I pick everyone up from school. We have snack and Home work. I help with home work and play on the floor with the little kids. I also start patch time with Adam.

5:30-6:00 I feed the baby and try and start dinner and I start cleaning things up.

6:30 chores start.

7:00pm dinner

7:30pm finish chores and baths and of course feed the baby.

8:15pm We have family scripture time and bedtime routines.

8:45pm The little kids are finally in bed.

9:00pm We clean up a little and then read or play games with the older kids.

10:00pm older kids and the baby go to bed, and John and I have time alone together until about midnight. And of course I feed the baby one more time.

Did You Know

Did you know that in the California legislature, there is currently a bill, SB48 , that would require all California public schools to portray homosexual, bisexual, and transgendered behavior in a positive light.  The bill requires that “gay history” be integrated into all textbooks and instructional materials. This is the second time this bill has passed through the California legislature. Governor Schwarzenegger, vetoed it the first time. Most people think that the current Governor of California will sign it in as a law. California's laws have had a profound affect on others states. Many states follow in California's political foot steps. If you live in California, or if you know some one in California, please ask them to contact their governor and ask him to VETO SB 48. Here is a link that, if you live in California you can use, and if you know some one in California you can pass along to help them either call or email the California Governor. http://savecalifornia.com/4-14-11-california-senate-mandates-homosexual-role-models-for-schoolchildren.html

Decent Johnny PICTURES?????

I told John I needed some recent pictures of Johnny and this is what I got.

John is magic, I don't know how he did it. Even with the kitchen as back ground, these are great!

Ramblings of a Different Sort

Today I exercised. I spent 32 minutes (yes, I time to the very second when it comes to exercise) on my elliptical.  I did not want to exercise. I was feeling tired and worn out from the morning routine. We have been getting to bed late. I wanted to take a nap-- not exercise. But, I first exercised some will power, or self-control or what ever it is called that forces you to do something when you don't want to do it.  And guess what? After, I spent 32 minutes on th elliptical, I felt pretty good. I felt good physically, and I felt good mentally. I have never   enjoyed exercise. I hate running. I would probably like biking, but I don't have a bike plus attachments for 4 kids. So I use the elliptical now that I have that and the treadmill when I had that. These are very boring ways to exercise. I think they make me hate exercising even more. With my parental responsibilities/choices, there is not another good way for me to exercise. I am sure I would never make it to a gym regularly. If I do the early in the morning stuff, it ruins my days. I am too tired and unproductive if I get up much before 7am. If I do the late at night stuff, I lose my precious time with John. So, I am doing the lonely, at home, all by myself with no one to push me type of exercise, and it is hard. I do better with peer pressure. I work harder when 5 skinny, muscular ladies are there watching me push my "I had 8 babies body".  But, I am doing it. I do it during nap time, so the kids don't ask me for things the entire half hour. I used to be excited for nap time each day. Now, I dread it, because I know I am going to have to push myself to exercise when I hate it. But, I am doing it, and I feel good when I have finished and especially when my face is flushed red and I am dripping with sweat. Tomorrow, when nap time comes, I will not want to exercise. I am sure I will be able to think of at least 3 convincing reasons, why I should not exercise just then. I will have to remind myself  that I will feel better physically and most especially, I will feel a lot better about myself because I have done something hard.

I see this sort of thing with my kids all of the time. Adam does not want to read because it is hard for him right now. After, Adam reads, he feels pretty good about himself and he is one step closer to becoming an independent reader. Ruth and Johnny do not like practicing the piano. But once they have learned a song, it is fun for them and they feel proud and want to show their accomplishments off to other people. I think learning to do hard things is one of the most self fulfilling things people can do. So, I will get on my elliptical for another half hour tomorrow and hate it, and I will make Ruth, Johnny, and Adam practice the piano, and I will make Adam read and Rachel work on her alphabet, and Kate work on her art, and Joshua lay on his stomach. They will probably all hate it and think I am a mean mom. But I think I am making a happy family by making all of us do hard things that we hate doing.

Ramblings

I've just been thinking a lot. My baby, is already 3 months old. I have conscientiously tried to enjoy those new born days. I know they go by so fast. Joshua  is such a calm, swet, easy going baby. He is easy to enjoy; he makes life feel better most of the time. But those newborn days are gone. Joshua holds himself up. He is smilely, and social. He has rolled a few times from his stomach to his back. He is not my new born baby anymore.

In a short five years, Ruth will be graduating high school and getting ready to head off to college. That is sad to think about. But at the same time, I know that THAT is what we are doing. We are trying to raise our children to be happy independent adults. I had Ruthy so she can grow up, go to college, get married and have kids of her own. It is bittersweet. I know I will miss Ruth's little kid years. I am going to conscientiously try to enjoy and have fun with Ruth through these last five years as she grows into that girl that will be saying goodbye and heading off to college.

FEET

My sister in law, Rosanne, first noticed how cute all these little feet were, and how funny it was that all these little guys were sitting the same way.

Grandma's Easter Party

We went to Grandma's house for an Easter party last night.  We dyed eggs, hunted eggs, cooked hotdogs over a fire, and played lots of games. The best part was being outside once more. Why does it feel so wonderful to see the kids jump on the tramp---change the sandbox pee pants--eat sooty hothogs smothered in chili--and come home smelling like a campfire at 1am?????

Egg Dying

Egg Hunting

My really cute Joseph 

dad helping out

cute cousins

Making Cookies

It takes a lot of people to make cookies around our house :)!

FiddleSticks

We did something a little difficult and probably stupid for family home evening on Monday. We took all 8 of our children to a house concert in Orem to see Fiddlesticks. They are a Scottish/Irish fiddling family. We have owned and played their music in our home for several years now. The kids love the music, and often play it while they do their chores. So we thought, what an opportunity--  a free concert! It was a lot more formal than we expected and a the home was a lot smaller. Still we got front row seats. The kids really enjoyed the music and behaved amazingly well. Since we were about the only one's stupid enough to take a large group of small children, we were pleasantly surprised that the other audience members and the home owners seemed very understanding and unbothered by our children.

We stayed for the first hour and a half, but left quietly once Joseph decided he either had to climb a large speaker or scream. We would have liked to have stayed for the entire concert. But considering that Joseph doesn't watch more than 10 minutes of TV at a time, and he has a very hard time sitting through an hour and 10 minutes of church. We left pleased with our good kids. I hope that Fiddlesticks will play near us again, and that I can take the 5 oldest kids and stay the whole time.

If you are interested you can find Fiddlesticks here. We love their music. They are a truly talented family!

Pictures: Ready For Church

Ruth slept in bender curlers!

I tried curling Anya's hair out. She wrestled so much after this that her hair was pretty messy by the time church started

I curled Rachel's hair under.

Kate's the only girl missing here. Kate and Johnny showered late because they played a game with Dad earlier.

Adam got knocked in the mouth and started crying just after he asked to get his picture taken. Notice the tear running down his face.

wiping away the tears

almost better

"okay ready for my picture to be taken"

wrestling before church

sharing

Bountiful Baskets

Bountiful Baskets is a food co-op in several states throughout the U.S.. Every Monday, I go online and sign up for a basket and sometimes some other items they have. It is $15 for the basket and you get a variety of fruits and vegetables. Most of the time, the food is good quality. This past week I spent $50 and got 16 pounds of strawberries, and some other tropical fruits, plus the regular basket. This has been the best for our family. It is such an inexpensive way to get a variety of produce.

My mom bought us a Blendtec blender which we have been using for making awesome smoothies, milk shakes, hot cocoa and soup. Between the blender and Bountiful Baskets, we are eating a lot healthier!!!

Check out Bountiful Baskets here to see if they are in your state.

As Spring Break Comes to Close

As spring break comes to close and we are all facing the school week once more, we have all softened to the idea of home school. Even my most resistant kids are softening. Kate has said, "Why can't we just start home schooling now?" I have never liked the school schedule and rush and homework. I have never liked sending my kids away for so many hours of the day. I feel relieved that we won't have that next year. I know home school will not be all easy and nice and fun times. I know that this home school idea may just be the Lord's way of teaching me patience, but at least we won't have to wake up before 8am!

April 8, 2011

Outside our Back Window :-(((

Very Kate

Kate is pointing to the baby's spit up.

Kate is making a disgusting face about the spit up and asking for a cloth.

Kate is getting frustrated that John is taking her picture and not getting her a cloth.

Kate feeling more frustrated!

Kate gives up and pouts!

More on Home Schooling

A lot of books that I have been reading have an attitude that home school is the only true way to educate a child. I put those books down. I doubt that 90% of the population has it all wrong. Public schools have a lot of faults, but they also have done some good. The illiteracy rate did decline with the formation of public schools. Obviously not every family was able to provide schooling for their children. Education is necessary. It is good that it is provided free to the people. I am glad that we have it.

That said, I have always felt that the parents should be the people mainly responsible for the education of their children. That can mean different things to different parents. For some parents it may mean to simply send their kid to school fed and dressed. For me it means a lot more. I feel like I am responsible for the behavior of my children, for their success or failure to learn academics and morals. I have done this by keeping my kids home from school if they wake up emotional and tearful. We spend the day working together. If needed, I let the child lounge. But I feel work is a better way to cure sorrow. I have taught my 4 oldest children to read. This was especially important for Kate who had a very hard time learning to read. Kate would have fallen by the side and probably would have been labeled learning disabled, if I had not been working with her everyday and making sure she had could do what was required for first and second grades. Now Kate is the top student in math, science and one of the top students in reading in the 6th grade in her school. I also make sure my kids are behaving nicely to their teachers and the other students, as well as toward each other in the home.

As a result my kids have thrived in the public schools. All of them receive awards for their behavior and for academics. They win art and science contests. They have been able to make good friends while still being kind to the kids who are mean and would be bad friends to have. Adam is always receiving awards for being kind. Kate and Johnny have often been paired with disabled children because of their compassion. I really believe kids can thrive in both public schools and home schools.

One problem I have had with public schools has been with Johnny. Johnny exceeds his age and grade in academics. We have tried to move him up a grade, and we have placed him in gifted programs. School administrators are very unwilling to move a child up a grade. I have found that it really depends on the child's teacher and principle as to whether or not any individual child will receive different treatment. Since this changes yearly, school can be very frustrating for a child who is either well above or well below the norm. Johnny should have been moved up a grade when we wanted him to in kindergarten. His teachers have all said the same thing, but we had a principle that thought he knew best for every child. The gifted programs still do not let a child work ahead of the grade level. So Johnny has spent nearly four years attending school being taught things he already knew. This was okay when he had teachers who let him help teach the other children and work independently. But his this years teacher does not do this. In first grade, Johnny's teacher let him roam around the class and help the other kids with reading and writing. In second grade, Johnny's teacher first taught the prescribed curriculum for math to the class and then let Johnny teach the class how he did it. Johnny was also allowed to read independently when he finished his work. Now Johnny is told to sit quietly and listen. When Johnny raises his hand to answer a question the teacher always says, "Does anyone else besides Johnny know?" Johnny gets in trouble if he reads when he finishes his work early. In this situation, I feel that Johnny is losing his love for learning. He gets in trouble for being excited to learn and answer questions. Most of this year Johnny has been begging to be home schooled so that he can learn new things and still have time to play after school. Johnny's third grade teacher has said over and over that Johnny does not belong in this class. So, when I started feeling like home school was right for our family, I thought of Johnny first. Home school is what Johnny needs. We will see how the other kids take to it. But I know Johnny will do better at home than in public school.

Listening

There have been three big times in my life that I have not listened and acted on the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I always learned why I should have listened afterwards. And I was always sorry. The first time, was a very long time ago. John had just finished his PhD and had gotten a new job at SUNY Stony Brook in Long Island New York. As I looked online for apartments to rent I could find nothing in the area. I did find about 2 houses to rent. As I was looking I kept thinking we should buy a home. I even looked to see what a mortgage would be for a $100,000 home (about $900). I mentioned it to John. He thought the idea was crazy. We only had a 2 year position. I dropped the topic. When we went out to look for something to rent. We couldn't find anything. Again I thought we needed to buy. This time, I did not even talk to John about it. About the last day we were there, we found a rental home for $950. It was a cute little 2 bedroom 900 square foot house near the beach. We loved it. We could have bought a home just like it for $100,000. When we left New York, housing prices had risen dramatically. If I had listened and we had bought a house (which we even had a  4% down payment for) we could have sold the house at the end of 2 years for $150,000. With all said and done we would have had at least $30,000 in the bank.  We did not listen and so we did not receive the blessings. The second time was when we were praying about the job at WSU. I did not feel good about it. But it was the easy thing to do. John didn't feel completely right about it either. We didn't even talk to each other about it. We just did what was easy. That job did not work out. While we were moving to KS, we came to UT for a month and a half to save some money. While we were there, I frequently felt like we should not move to KS. I felt like John needed to get a job outside of acedemics in UT. I did not say a word of this to anyone even though I had strong impressions coming to my mind over the entire month and a half. If I had listened, we would have already been established in UT. We would not have had the big hard move and the loss of the money on the house in Wichita. John would probably be making a lot more money than he is now. Again, Heavenly Father was just trying to bless us and make our lives easier. I have learned to listen and I hope that I always do.

For about 3 months I had found myself thinking about home schooling. For three months, I just put the thoughts aside. (I have never really planned on homeschooling.) After three months, I thought, maybe this isn't me. I have had things like this before and it is usually the Holy Ghost patiently trying to tell me something. Maybe the Holy Ghost has been trying to tell me something. So I thought I would throw the idea off a few of the kids to get a feel for what they thought about the idea. Johnny liked it, no one else did. I let the idea go and didn't say anything for another two weeks. Home schooling thoughts kept coming to my mind for those two weeks. This time, I knew it was not me. So I casually brought the topic up to John and all of the kids one night after scripture study. John responded, "Why would we do that?!" Ruth emphatically said, "NO WAY! I WILL MISS MY FRIENDS." I told John that I had just been thinking about it a lot and wondered if it was the Holy Ghost trying to tell me something. John said, "I don't think we should home school, but  why don't we pray about it." We prayed about it right away during our nightly family prayer. After the prayer, the responses were different. John said, "This is weird, but I feel pretty good about it. I guess we better look into it." Ruth said, "I hate this, but I felt like it is what we should do."

Another week went by and we talked about it casually, but I did not do anything about it. Again, I had a lot of thoughts about home schooling. Honestly, I did not really want to do this. But I wanted to listen. I knew that I needed to listen. So I started browsing websites about home schooling and looking up the laws. Surprisingly, I liked everything I read. Eventually, I ordered books from the library. The more I read the books, the more I knew this is what we are suppose to do at least for Johnny.Then John came to me and said, "I really strongly feel that home school is intended for Ruth too." I began looking at different curriculums and pros and cons to different ways of teaching your children at home. I facebook messaged some friends I know that home school. Everything seemed good. I felt more prepared. The kids had softened to the idea. Ruth found out that two of her friends are moving and two others are being home schooled next year. John and I prayed about it together one last time about 4 nights ago. We both knew without a doubt that this is what Heavenly Father wants our family to do. We are going to listen and so we are going to start home schooling next school year.

Rachel Turns 5

I bought angel food cake and I frosted it with colored whipped cream, so we could have both an edible and little girl appealing cake.

The tea party for dinner

the kids were very mannerly

opening presents

blowing out the candle

Rachel has been waiting for this day for an entire year. For a while, she wasn't sure it was really ever coming. Well it came. My Rachel finally got to have her 5th birthday. Rachel had her birthday yesterday, during General Conference. I am afraid that will come up a lot in her lifetime. Poor baby.  I think we were able to make it fun, though. We went to Gramma's for the second session of conference. We had a tea party with cousins. We had a rainbow angel food cake and we watched Tangled on Gramma's projector screen. I think Rachel had fun. We all enjoyed the pleasant company together. And we will have a small friend birthday party in a week or two to make up for the having to sit and listen for four hours on her birthday.