At home, home school is going great. Life is peaceful. The kids are studying hard, and learning well. They are doing great with me being their teacher. They are enjoying what they are learning and they are getting along well with each other. Not at home, home school is going terribly. I am having a very hard time finding a group of home school families to associate with. We have one. They are great. We get along very well and respect them a lot. My daughters' love their daughters'. Our boys all love computers games and that is enough for them, and the mom and I get along well. Ruth has a Shakespeare class and that is the highlight of her week. But that is all.
My experiences with the rest of the homeschooling community have been weird at best. We have gone on a field trip with 150 other homeschoolers. But no one talked to us, except for one little boy who made friends with Adam. I talked to other parents, but they merely answered my questions. I could not lead them into conversation. The older girls there hung to their parents and really didn't extend themselves outside their own family. I think it was rather depressing for Ruth. I tried to hold park days, but no one came. I quit wasting my time. I am trying to begin a teen/preteen monthly fun activity. For September, I set it up for us to go roller skating. Our friends daughters came, one woman had me take her two children, and I met one other mother with a 13 year old boy. The next day, I found out there were other people there, but that the adults were too shy to meet me. How weird is that?
We went to the homeschooling swimming day. Only one or two other families were there. I tried talking to a mother-- nothing. I tried talking to her children and they swam away and left the rec center. I don't want to be too critical, but this is just downright weird. I feel like I am the victim of false advertising. You always hear the argument that home schooled children are more social because they can talk to people of all ages and are at ease. In my experience thus far, that is just not true. The parents and children I have met that seem to be happy and friendly and social are the parents and children with large families. I don't want to be critical, but it is true that this has been the weirdest social experience of my life. My friend has said some similar things. She is moving and they have joined a group in Utah county and she has said that she has been impressed with how good and social the children out there are.
I have considered putting them back in school. Kate said she won't go because her home school work is so much more interesting. Adam has to be wearing an eye patch for 3 hours a day to save the vision in his left eye. He can't wear it at school and homeschool is the best way to get the patch on while he is doing a lot of sit down concentration work. Ruth would go back today, but John won't let her. Rachel would like to go to school. I won't send Johnny back to school. He needs too strong of an academic setting. School was hurting Johnny. Really, home school has a lot of positives. But I want my kids to be at ease with their peers. I also want my kids to have support with other homeschool children. It is good to have a peer support group when doing something different from 90% of the population.
There is one disclaimer in this whole circumstance. A lot of people home school their children because they do not thrive in the social environment at schools or because they have certain disabilities. That is different. I think the part that frustrates me the most is the adults who will not talk to me.
I am going to keep trying. I have a couple of ideas. Ruth has her Shakespeare class in Salt Lake with about 15 other teenagers. I am going to talk to the mother who hosts this group, and see if there is a coop or something we can join in the Salt Lake area. If that does not pan out, we will join our friends in Utah county. I am also going to continue doing my teen activity night. Next time, I am going to have the people who come register and then have a get to know you activity before we do the real fun stuff. There is still hope, but I am very frustrated with the social part of homeschooling.
3 comments:
Ugh. I'm so sorry! I have always thought that the lack of social outlet was the only downfall of homeschool (but that's only because I can't even fathom how much work it is....) I hope you find a good solution soon!
((HUGS))
I'll be honest, this has gone in phases for us. When we started homeschooling we were ostracised from all but one church family with kids my oldest's age (there were 10 in her class at primary, we started hs in K). We were the only homeschoolers. We also found that the local homeschool group of the time was mostly older kids beginning about 3 grades above us.
It was a lonely time BUT one thing God taught me was being content at home and relying on building friendships with my children and between my children.
Time has passed and we've slowly found more homeschool connections for friends. Another challenge was we don't send one child off to an activity, we do all things as a family. While homeschool groups usually have classes for K or 1st on up, more than half of my children were expected to just stay in a 'nursery' for the day of classes/activities if they were even welcome at all.
What really helped was simply doing like you're trying, we started a group that met our needs. Ours was a book club and it is still going today. The big focus is it is a family book club, all ages welcome. We read one chapter book per month in our families and meet one week about that book. We also meet a second week and do some activities around 1-2 picture books we read that day. For the older kids of the group they are welcome to help plan the activities for the picture book days.
My best advice? Pray specifically for what you're looking for. Heavenly Father wants to hear from you. Then listen for His direction on how to meet those needs, or for His direction to focus on something else for now. Sometimes what we think we (or our children) need is NOT what God's planning right then.
My sister in law in TN homeschools and said that she has had more luck socially with non- homeschool activities for her kids. They do girl scouts, soccer, swim team and seem to get along better with kids they meet through those types of activites than through homeschooling.
David wore an eye patch for awhile-- you should check out vision therapy-- his eyesight has improved substantially- he would have had to get surgery otherwise and just about sees normally now with his glasses. They have the coolest exercises-- it has been so worth it for David-- insurance pays most of it.
Thanks for the nice comment about us ( I assume we are the one homeschool family you were talking about). We like you too, and I'm so glad we at least have each other!!
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