Is It hard Being a Mom

My blog friend and new in person friend Christina, wrote this blog about the pioneers life verses our life. You can read it here. She has 8 children and is 2 years younger than I am. She mentioned how people are either unhappy with her family or they think she is a super-woman. She rejects the idea of being a super-woman. I get a lot of the same and I too, really reject the idea of being a super-woman. I know that I am definitely NOT! But this got me thinking about how most people just view my life as really hard. I have a lot of people say, "I could never do that. It is hard." or even as presumptuous  as, "I am sorry things are so hard for you," when I have never even said things are hard. So, after pondering this some, I wanted to write my thoughts on motherhood and a hard life.

I do not think I have a hard life at all. Like all people I have bad days and since I have 7 children a lot of those bad days begin with a grumpy child. But most of my days are very pleasant. Most days, I have fun with my kids; I clean a lot; I cook a lot; I do a lot of  laundry, and I go to bed happy and satisfied. In fact, I typically think of myself as having a rather charmed life.

I married my best friend and he is still my best friend. At every moment of every day I know that I have a husband that loves me with his whole heart; I know that my kids have a father who cares for them and their well being more than anything else. Life is good, not hard. My kids are good. They love me and they look to me for love and acceptance. I am their teacher and their leader and the most important person in their lives. I care for them deeply, and that alone turns the work from drudgery into joy.

I really don't feel like I have given anything up to have my children. I have postponed things. I am 34, so I have not lived half my life. My kids will be all raised in 20 to 25 years, but the amount of time and physical labor I will put into them will be greatly reduced in about 8 to 10 years depending on how many more children I have. So from 55 to around 85, I will have lots and lots of time to learn and to serve other people, and I can actually begin that season in part when I am around 40 to 45. In the end, I will have spent less than half my life raising my children. Yes, I have given up a prestigious career, if I ever would have been good enough to be prestigious. I do not think having a career would be worth giving up all of the love I get from all of my children and all of my future posterity.

I feel certain that family is the better choice. When I was 20 and was the top student in many of my classes, I was not happy. Being number one actually wasn't that great. I had some good friends, but I was lonely. I didn't like wondering if this guy or that guy liked me or would ask me out, or liked some one better, or if I was pretty enough or good enough for so and so. When I met and married John, my life fell into place.

Certainly things can be really hard in family life. It was really hard last winter when John did not have a job and the home we were renting was being foreclosed on. That was hard. I would not want to do it again. But I would rather do it again then not have my wonderful big family. There are days when I have 5 whiney, crying, grumpy kids, and I am pulling my hair out in frustration. There are days when the amount of mess and fluid these children put out drives me insane. But all of that passes, and if I handle it well, I end up with a happy family at the end of the day. Some days I do not handle it well, but we all have been given the opportunity to say, "I am sorry," and I end up with a happy family the next day.

So do I think being a mother is hard? Well, I think that being a mother with a husband who does not support you, or being a single mother would be very hard but not worthless. The work would still be rewarding and the love from your children would still be satisfying. I definitely do not think that being a mother with a kind and loving husband is hard at all. I think it is joyous and wonderful. I have been very blessed to be a mother alongside a father who cares for me and our children very deeply. I think a happy family either big or small is the most wonderful thing God has offered His children.