The Stuff That Is For the Bathroom Only

Okay, okay I know that this is totally disgusting and belongs only in the bathroom, but it is such a huge part of my life as a parent that I've made up my mind to write about it-- poop and what goes along with it. Almost everyday I have some disgusting story to tell John on this topic and he says, "Are you going to blog about it?" I always say, "no, it is too gross." But recently I have realized this is a huge part of my life right now. I certainly don't spend nearly as much time wiping up poop as I do making food and cleaning up after food or washing, folding, and putting away the laundry. But I suspect it gets the third spot in line especially when I add cleaning the bathrooms to that category. Ten years ago when I first began parenting I had a lot more time and I read a lot of parenting magazines. One article that has stood out in my mind was one written by a grumpy pediatrician about how parents obsess about their children's poop. After reading that, I immediately thought back to all of Ruth's diapers that I had wondered about. Then and there I decided to never bring the topic up with a doctor. But a few years and a million diapers later I thought back to the article and said, "Well of course we obsess. It is right there in our faces, and everyone knows not to feed a diapered child grapes or broccoli and few other things because you won't be able to change the next diaper without gagging."

Now here are few recent events that I have had to deal with on this topic and yes, this has all been in one week, AND I don't think that it has been an unusual week this way.

The morning after Adam got his glasses he came over while I was changing Anya and said, "I think that looks like oatmeal poop." Indeed it did, and now it had been said-- YUCK!!! He has continued this trend whenever he is at hand for a diaper change.

I put Rachel, who has been semi potty trained for about 6 months now into the bath tub. John was in our bedroom nearby changing Anya's diaper so I went and did some laundry. I came back with my arms full of Anya's folded laundry. John said, "Anya is a bit sore I think I will put her into the bathtub with Rachel." I said, "I let Rachel have a lot of water, I don't think Anya will be able to sit in the tub. I will check." I went into the bathroom with my arms still full of clean laundry and Rachel said, "Here Mom." She held out two big logs of poop. I screamed and Rachel began to cry. She placed the logs on the side of the bathtub (it was so disgusting). I put the laundry down and started unrolling a bunch of toilet paper. John asked what happened and I yelled, "She pooped in the bathtub." My amazing husband then said, "Let me take care of it." I said, "That is mean," but what I meant was that would be mean for me to make you do this all by yourself." So of course I had to explain myself. John affirmed that he was really willing to take this one. So I got him a number of plastic bags, cleaning solution and rags. Rachel was lucky. I would have spanked her. I spent the rest of the night thankful for my husband. The next night John, Ruth, Kate, Johnny, and Adam went to the movies in the dollar theater. After they left, I put Anya and Rachel in the bathtub and Anya pooped in the bath tub. So I went through the same routine as John did the night before. Drain the tub, rinse the kids, clean the tub, clean the kids, and then clean the tub one more time just in case their were unseen germs still on the kids when I cleaned them. (By the way, the night Rachel pooped in the tub was the same night that she choked really badly and puked on the table in Taco Bell. I was the only parent there for that, so I think that is why John took the poop mess.)

Walking through the store with Johnny, Adam, Rachel, and Anya, Adam said rather loudly, "Mom was that Johnny that passed gas?" I said, "No, he was just coughing." Johnny replied, "I did not pass gas." Adam said, "Was it you that passed gas, Mom?" I truthfully said, "No." I asked, "Was it you, Adam?" Adam yelled, "I did not pass gas it must have been Rachel." Rachel screamed and starting saying over and over, "I did not pass gas..." She was loud too. Johnny asked Adam, "Did you smell something bad?" Adam said, "No, I heard something," and then he said, "It must have been somebody walking by us." At the point the subject was closed expect for Rachel who was still chanting. And yes, people did look our way.

Well, that is my long tale for today, but rest assured this is the only entry I plan to write on this ever present disgusting topic.