I Shudder to Think...

Years and Years ago, when I was planning for life, career, and college, I was planning on becoming a doctor. I got accepted to a University in California with a good pre-med program. Everyone I knew felt like I was on the right path and making the right decisions. But, then came the issue of finances. I couldn't see how it would be possible to pay for housing and tuition and books. I asked my parents how much money they could give to help me in school. My mom said maybe $75 total. I got down on my knees and prayed to ask for help in funding my education.

For the first time in my life, I received a very clear answer to my prayers, and it wasn't at all what I expected. My answer was that I was not to go to the big school and major in pre-med. I was to attend Ricks College and not to worry about my major because it didn't matter. My mission in life was to become a mother, not a doctor.

To the disappointment of my parents, church leaders, and many friends. I listened to the whisperings of the Spirit. I decided to go to Ricks College and instead of $40,000 in debt for 2 years of college, I gained $5,000 student debt.

Two years later, and wanting to be closer to home, I chose to go to the University of Michigan. It may have seemed like an odd choice, but it was easy. The University of Michigan was a good school and I had an Uncle in the same city that would let me live with him for $50 a month.

A semester before I prayed about funding college and beginning the path to medical school, John was deciding which graduate school to attend. He had an NSF Fellowship and could go wherever he chose. John was accepted into every University he applied to. John was going to Princeton University-- the best math graduate program in the nation. But, the Spirit told John to make another choice. After some struggles and questioning, John decided that he should attend his second choice university-- The University of Michigan.

I could have ignored the counsel the Lord gave to me and gone off to become a doctor. I suspect, I would have succeeded and would have paid off the debt by now. John could have gone to Princeton and probably had better mentors there. But, these decisions weren't about our careers. They were about the rest of our lives and the mission that God wanted us to fulfill.

I shudder to think what if. What if I did not listen? What if I chose the career? I certainly woudn't have this:

And neither would John. What a loss that would have been. No career and no amount of money could make up for the eternal loss of  my beloved family. I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father in all of His majesty brought John and I together so that we could have these children. Raising a big family is not easy and it is certainly not on the list of good choices for men and women to make these days, but I know for sure that I made the choice God wanted me to make and because of it, I am happy in a way I never could have been with any other choices.