President Monson's Relief Society Talk

In our church, we believe that God speaks to us through His apostles and prophets. We believe that what they say to us in conferences is what God needs us to hear and know. Today, the President of our church and the man we believe to be a prophet, seer, and revelator is Thomas S. Monson. When he spoke to the women of the church in the Relief Society General Conference, I knew that the things, he had to say, were things that God needed me to hear and to adjust in my life. I am very grateful to have a prophet of God to deliver these messages to us. I realize I have some things to change that will indeed help me improve my life and my family.

He said, "None of us is perfect. I know of no one who would profess to be so. And yet for some reason, despite our own imperfections, we have a tendency to point out those of others. We make judgments concerning their actions or inactions."

"There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: 'Judge not.'"

"My dear sisters, each of you is unique. You are different from each other in many ways. There are those of you who are married. Some of you stay at home with your children, while others of you work outside your homes. Some of you are empty nesters. There are those of you who are married but do not have children. There are those who are divorced, those who are widowed. Many of you are single women. Some of you have college degrees; some of you do not. There are those who can afford the latest fashions and those who are lucky to have one appropriate Sunday outfit. Such differences are almost endless. Do these differences tempt us to judge one another?"

I am not the type of person that would say anything out loud to some one I disapproved of. I would not criticize some one openly to another person. That is really not my nature. On the other hand, I know that I often feel very critical of other people in my heart and in my mind, and that keeps me from having real love toward people and real, true charity.

I got married at 21, got pregnant right away and dropped out of school because I did not want to have any more student loans. My husband and I decided that I would be a stay at home mom to my children, and $20,000 more in loans would not make that possible. I know that these decisions were the right decisions for me and my family. But, I think through all of these 12 and a half years, I have felt superior to other mothers who chose to work. I suppose this has to do with jealous feelings. We have always been on the poor side. When I see these mothers with big careers and big beautiful homes and lots of lessons for their children, I feel a bit of envy, and then in my heart I make a judgment. I decide that I am better, or that my kids are better off than these womens children. My children have to learn to share and to do without things, but they get more of my time. I think that I also make this judgment because women who do well in the work force and who have completed a lot of schooling get a lot more respect than women like me who stay home and who are not educated. I judge these women to make myself feel better about my decisions and my lack of material possessions and prestige. I have always known in my heart that this judgment is unfair and could even be cruel. But, I still find myself dong so to make myself feel better.

I also find myself judging rich people. I think, "how could they spend so much money on such a big home when people down the street are suffering in tiny run down homes." or I think, "the people in Haiti and other parts of the world are suffering so severely. These people should be putting their money to help God's children." Having written this out, because I have never said anything like this not even to my husband, makes me cringe. That could really hurt a lot people. I need to change. I need to stop judging. President Monson said, "There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize." I know this is true, and I need to change my thoughts.

President Monson said near his conclusion:

"I consider charity—or “the pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere".

I need to have this charity. I know that if I gain the kind of charity that causes one to be "tolerant and lenient toward the actions of others," I won't feel as alienated and alone in my ward and neighborhood. I expect one of the first steps in gaining this is for me to stop envying wealth. Another is to realize that just because the choices I made for my family have been good for my family, does not mean that these same choices would be good for other families. I know that we are all children of God and that He really and truly loves all of us. I love all of my children fairly equally even when I have one kid who is fighting me on every point while another kids is doing everything he or she can do to be good and choose the right. I still love and care deeply for both children. Certainly God feels even more perfectly like that. So, after 12 and a half years, I am going to do whatever I need to rid my heart of these judging feelings. I am sure it would feel a lot nicer to just be true friends with everyone I know.

Anya's Set Up

This morning Anya set up her toys very neatly and cutely. She had one of the larger plastic toy boxes set upside down with a small flowery pillow on top. Then she had set a bunch of toy dishes on top like a little tea party. She also put a smaller plastic toy box and set it up like a chair. John and I saw it and told Anya how cute and nicely she had set up her toys. Anya then said, "the cat," and then began kicking over her nice little set up. To our surprise, the kitten was trapped under the biggest box. This was not a nice little tea party Anya was planning, but a cunning cat trap!

A Rachel, Mom and Dad Story

Rachel has never been very good at doing any chores at all. She is now four and a half and I really think she should be taking more responsibility in cleaning up her own messes. What that really means is that I have officially declared war with Rachel. Everyday, I ask Rachel either to pick up her crayons, her toys, or her books. This means that I ask her nicely to do it about five times over about a half an hour. Since she rarely picks up in that period of time, I begin to threaten her. She is threatened with a spank, or with being sent to bed early. I will give her the threat about 5 times over another 15 minutes. If she has not gotten to work by then, she gets the threatened punishment. Yesterday, Rachel got to ten time over about 45 minutes. I was busy making dinner and asked John to give Rachel the spank. John said he would and went over to Rachel and said that Mom said he had to give her a spank. The next thing I heard was Rachel saying, "Thank you, Dad. I love you Dad." I asked John if he had spanked her and he said that he had and that the thank you and I love you was her response to the spank. I do not think Rachel picked up at all last night. I definitely lost the battle yesterday!

Too Busy

The last two weeks have been so very busy. I feel like I have only been home to cook and clean and then it is out and doing again. Today, John's birthday will be similar. This is always hard because I miss out on playing and reading to my younger children, and when I do sit down with them, it is very rushed. I don't feel like riding in the car and going from store to store or place to place counts for time spent with your children. At least not decent time spent with your children. I am only having time to blog because I woke up early to help Ruth to get to school early to make up gym class from when she was sick. In about 15 minutes everyone will be up and getting ready for the day. Then I will rush to get the laundry separated and started, and the upstairs vacuumed before we head out to buy John's birthday presents.

I am really hoping that next week will be a lot calmer. In fact, I really think it should be. The kids have a four day weekend next weekend, so that will take some of the school pressures off. I would also like to get them to the zoo before it gets too cold. But I think a day or two at home doing art projects and reading and chatting would be a very good idea for us at this point (Of course, that means another trip to the store to buy some art stuff.)

A story Kate wrote for School (yes, it is fiction)

My Kitchen Knife Experience!

My name is Kate. I have straight brown hair, hazel eyes, and I'll never forget the time I stabbed a man with a kitchen knife.

My older sister Ruth and I were babysitting our 6 younger siblings, Johnny, Adam, Rachel, Anya, Joseph, and baby Joshua.

Anyway we were watching a movie upstairs with the kids when we heard a crash down stairs.

Ruth paused the movie while I went down stairs into the kitchen to investigate.

There in the kitchen the window was broken, and standing on the shattered pieces of glass was a man! And not just any man, but a scary one!

He was in jeans 5 sizes too big, and a black shirt. He looked in his middle ages, with long black hair pulled into a pony tail, with a goatee. And he smiled at me an evil plotting smile!

Now since I'm so small for my age, he must have thought I was 6 because he said "Come here little girl, I have something for you."

I was so panicked I couldn't move! I frantically looked around the room, looking for something, something to save the day!

Then my eyes rested on the kitchen knives. Slowly a plan crept into my head.

Slowly I walked toward the man. Then swiftly I grabbed a kitchen knife, and stabbed the man in the chest!!!!!

The man's mouth dropped open as he fell to the ground. Quickly I dialed 911, and told them a robber is in the house and to come quick!

Then I rolled the main over. He was alive, but needed medical attention! I called mom and told Ruth.

My parents wouldn't let me on the News. So not many people know. But I'll tell you .....

Don't trust me with a kitchen knife. 

The End!

A Personal Struggle

 

I have been struggling with my feelings lately. I am 23weeks pregnant with my eighth child. When this baby is born, we will have 4 girls and 4 boys. I think that is perfect and I am done. I have the big family that I wanted, and now I want to be done. I want to get to that point where, I only have one or 2 little children at home and no more on the way. I want to be able to lose weight and strengthen my body and know that that will not be ruined by yet another pregnancy. But there is a quiet voice in the back of my head that is telling me I may regret it if I stop my family now. My body, minus my bladder, is very healthy. I know that I could physically handle another pregnancy. I just don't want to.

In many ways, I have been hoping for God to tell me, "You are done. This is enough." I have not had those feelings. I have asked to have them, but hey have not come. I think that if we stop now, God will still be pleased with what we have done in bearing children and multiplying and replenishing the earth, but I also think God would be happy to send us another child or two. 

When thinking about this topic, I really struggle. I think about John's youngest sister, Rebecca. She is the ninth child in their family and just a light and a joy to everyone. I love and adore, Becca. She is 22 or 23 or something, a good little mother and wife with her own two little children. When she shows up at family events they are so much better. Becca is just friendly and caring and fun. John's mom's health was not good when she conceived Rebecca, but she had her in faith knowing that there was one more girl to come to their family. I really doubt John's family would be as fun and as nice as it is without Becca. Then I think, do I risk missing one more bit of joy and sunshine in my life because I want to be done having kids and to have a healthy fit body, or do I suffer being tired and emotional through one more pregnancy while facing the same questions yet again. 

I honestly, do not know which path John and I will choose. I want to be done. I want to not be pregnant again. But I also don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I missed out on a lovely child because I refused to be pregnant one more time. Of course, being pregnant now, I am a lot more emotional. Maybe everything will be clearer in a year from now, and I will know for sure what to do. But for now, I find myself struggling with these feelings most days.

So Excited!!!

October is almost here and that means PUMPKIN TIME!!! I cannot wait to start baking. I am collecting pumpkin recipes and I am excited to get started and have a lot of yummy pumpkin meals. We will have pumpkin pie, pumpkin roll, cream cheese pumpkin muffins, dinner in a pumpkin, mashed pumpkin. I may try pumpkin stew, pumpkin mousse and pumpkin milk shakes. Yes, I am excited!