Ramblings of a Different Sort

Today I exercised. I spent 32 minutes (yes, I time to the very second when it comes to exercise) on my elliptical.  I did not want to exercise. I was feeling tired and worn out from the morning routine. We have been getting to bed late. I wanted to take a nap-- not exercise. But, I first exercised some will power, or self-control or what ever it is called that forces you to do something when you don't want to do it.  And guess what? After, I spent 32 minutes on th elliptical, I felt pretty good. I felt good physically, and I felt good mentally. I have never   enjoyed exercise. I hate running. I would probably like biking, but I don't have a bike plus attachments for 4 kids. So I use the elliptical now that I have that and the treadmill when I had that. These are very boring ways to exercise. I think they make me hate exercising even more. With my parental responsibilities/choices, there is not another good way for me to exercise. I am sure I would never make it to a gym regularly. If I do the early in the morning stuff, it ruins my days. I am too tired and unproductive if I get up much before 7am. If I do the late at night stuff, I lose my precious time with John. So, I am doing the lonely, at home, all by myself with no one to push me type of exercise, and it is hard. I do better with peer pressure. I work harder when 5 skinny, muscular ladies are there watching me push my "I had 8 babies body".  But, I am doing it. I do it during nap time, so the kids don't ask me for things the entire half hour. I used to be excited for nap time each day. Now, I dread it, because I know I am going to have to push myself to exercise when I hate it. But, I am doing it, and I feel good when I have finished and especially when my face is flushed red and I am dripping with sweat. Tomorrow, when nap time comes, I will not want to exercise. I am sure I will be able to think of at least 3 convincing reasons, why I should not exercise just then. I will have to remind myself  that I will feel better physically and most especially, I will feel a lot better about myself because I have done something hard.

I see this sort of thing with my kids all of the time. Adam does not want to read because it is hard for him right now. After, Adam reads, he feels pretty good about himself and he is one step closer to becoming an independent reader. Ruth and Johnny do not like practicing the piano. But once they have learned a song, it is fun for them and they feel proud and want to show their accomplishments off to other people. I think learning to do hard things is one of the most self fulfilling things people can do. So, I will get on my elliptical for another half hour tomorrow and hate it, and I will make Ruth, Johnny, and Adam practice the piano, and I will make Adam read and Rachel work on her alphabet, and Kate work on her art, and Joshua lay on his stomach. They will probably all hate it and think I am a mean mom. But I think I am making a happy family by making all of us do hard things that we hate doing.