How I Do It: Organization in a Big Family Part IV

Me with the child that got me started on scheduling

Scheduling

A long time ago when Kate was just a year old, I learned something very valuable that has helped me in being a mother to so many. After Kate turned one, she had consistent trouble with temper tantrums. After some prayer and serious observations, I learned that Kate would play happily all day except when we would transition from one thing to the next. She particularly had trouble when we had to go some place. This observation brought me back to my college days when I worked with children with ADHD and autism. 

I worked for a while in a pre-school with several different teachers. One classroom of kids stood out from the others. Most of the the classrooms went through a series of tragedies every day, except for this one. So I talked to this one teacher about what she did differently. She mentioned two main ideas. 

                                       1. At the beginning of the school year, she immediately punished any wrong behaviors, no exceptions. She said that the first month was awful, but after that the kids knew where they stood with her and for the most part behaved. This was obvious.

                                        2. She made a schedule and stuck to it better than glue. This schedule even included bathroom breaks. She said that she noticed that kids with disabilities tended to have break downs when things changed. But if they knew what was going to happen next they were okay with the change. 

With Kate breaking down during transitions, I thought it was time to put #2 into affect. I wrote a daily schedule, and stuck to it. After about a month, Kate quit having temper tantrums, and she would let me do the house work and cook dinner with out too much trouble. Through out my parenting of different toddlers, sticking to a schedule has helped our home be more peaceful and has helped me keep the house cleaner with fewer temper tantrums. 

Since Joshua was born I have had trouble sticking with my schedule and my younger children have had more trouble with coloring on the walls, fighting, and making ridiculous messes. My older children have had more trouble with doing their homework and chores cheerfully. Once, I decided to home school next school year, I felt pushed to get back on my schedule and things are calming down once more. The little kids don't bother me too much while I do my chores because they expect that to be happening everyday and they know that I will be attending to them and playing with them shortly. Scheduling for toddlers means throwing spontaneity out. And certainly, as far as life goes, it is not possible to stick to the same schedule every day. But when we do and can, my kids are happier. They know what to expect and I get more time playing, reading and just being with my kids.

I want to say that while advice #1 from the great teacher works well in a classroom setting, I do not recommend it for home life. As far as punishing behaviors go, it is good and works best to be consistent, but I think the only real solution is being good, and calm and keeping up on your prayers and scripture study so that you can hear the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I believe in home life, we need mercy a lot more than we need it in a classroom. I know that I need mercy from my husband and children and that my children need it from me and my husband and each other. Only the Holy Ghost can tell you when it is appropriate to be stern and when it is appropriate to extend mercy.

If anyone cares, here is my current daily schedule. This changes with the times and seasons, but here is what we do now:

6:30am Joshua wakes up to eat.

6:50am Ruth and I wake up. I unload the dishwasher, and start the laundry, while Ruth gets ready for school.

7:15am I read from the New Era to Ruth while she eats breakfast.

7:30am Ruth leaves for the bus, I do more laundry or attend to the baby,

7:45am I wake up the rest of the family and get breakfast on the table.

8:00am I get breakfast for the rest of the kids and read to them from the Friend. 

8:20am I check email, while Kate and Johnny get ready for school.

8:30am Kate and Johnny leave for school, and I feed the baby and start my morning big chore.

10:00am I get the little kids and myself cleaned and dressed.

10:30am I feed the baby and then we bake a snack together.

11:00am We have home school pre-school, coloring and drawing time.

11:45am We read stories.

12:15pm We have lunch

12:38pm We take Adam to school.

1:00pm This is nap time: Joseph goes to bed. I watch a show with Anya and Rachel while I feed Joshua. Then I put Joshua to bed and exercise. Rachel and anya watch a 30-40 minute show. Anya usually goes to sleep. 

2:30pm Rachel plays and I read blogs. And feed the baby before 3:30.

3:30pm I pick everyone up from school. We have snack and Home work. I help with home work and play on the floor with the little kids. I also start patch time with Adam.

5:30-6:00 I feed the baby and try and start dinner and I start cleaning things up.

6:30 chores start.

7:00pm dinner

7:30pm finish chores and baths and of course feed the baby.

8:15pm We have family scripture time and bedtime routines.

8:45pm The little kids are finally in bed.

9:00pm We clean up a little and then read or play games with the older kids.

10:00pm older kids and the baby go to bed, and John and I have time alone together until about midnight. And of course I feed the baby one more time.