I find that a lot of people expect that I home school my kids. I think it is because we have a large family, we are politically conservative, we expect our children to dress modestly both in style and fit. We also basically only listen to classical music and hymns, and we do not have cable tv, and we watch very little tv at that anyway. So that makes us a lot like big families that home school. So why do I not home school? Well, like I have heard from people who are defending their choice to home school, I had a very similar experience.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I visited a home schooled family. They had just 2 little girls. I wasn't unimpressed with what they were doing. The girls were both very smart. They were early readers and could talk with adults easily. The mother was very organized and a good teacher. But it didn't hit me as something that I needed to do for my children. In fact, I felt rather impressed in the opposite direction.
Over the next few years, I watched home schooled children versus public schooled children. Most of the public school kids seemed more comfortable around their peers but were more likely to get into trouble. In the end, I concluded that really how kids were going to be as early teenagers and young adults had more to do with the parents. Kids who come from homes with social parents are more social than kids who come from homes where parents do not do much with other people (I am afraid, John and I are not very social, although we try.) Kids who have parents who are good with money tend to be good with money. Kids who come from home with strong values have strong values, etc. It did not seem to have to do with where they went to school so much. There was some of that. I think parents who are going to send their kids to public schools should research different school districts before they chose a home. Schools with lots of gangs and high pregnancy rates, and drug use will affect any child in a negative way. John and I have always looked for schools that have the highest academic standards and the lowest drop out rates. As a result, we have had to pay a lot more for smaller homes. We think that is very worth it.
So after thinking about it for years, I prayed about what my family should do. I felt strongly that what my kids needed was to learn to work along side their peers. I felt like my children needed to go and learn how to work with people who were going to be mean to them and hurt their feelings. I also felt like it would be important for my children to learn at an early age that they were going to have to work and live around people that are making bad choices and acting like it is what everyone should do. So, Ruth went to junior kindergarten and kindergarten as did Kate.
We really regretted the junior kindergarten, and felt like even though it was only 2 1/2 hours a day, our 4 year old children did not need to be away from home and mom. So we do not do preschool.
It has come up a few times, where my kids have asked to be home schooled. Kate had a very difficult first grade year with an angry teacher who was going through a divorce. It was a bad situation. We finally agreed to home school Kate if the first week of second grade was not any better. Kate loved second grade and wanted to stay in school. Johnny is our smart kid and has always been well ahead of his peers. Every school year has been a problem for him. I have to go into the school and schools do not like to accomodate any special needs. Johnny has asked to be home schooled so he can do more interesting work. We prayed about it and the answer has been the same for our family. So I go in and try and work with the teacher and principle to get Johnny what he needs at school.
Honestly, I often think how nice it would be to home school. I love all vacations when I have my kids around me all of the time. I know that I could teach my kids better and give them an education more suited to their individual needs. Their are a ton of great home school resources out there now. It sounds hard, but fun to me. I hate the school schedule. If we home schooled we could always sleep in and it would not take as much time out of the day as school does. I would have more time to teach my kids to cook and garden and other fun things. But, we have felt like public school is where are kids need to be, so unless that changes that is what we will do.
I have read a lot of why other people home school, and mostly their reason for home schooling is the same as mine for sending my kids to school. They feel like it is what God wants them to do for their family. I respect that a lot because I have had a similar experience although it has sent me the opposite way. I suspect some families are called to do different things. If there does come a time when we feel like our children need to be educated from home we will change right away. As with everything in our lives, when we listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit things go miraculously well for us, and when we don't, things aren't so good and smooth and nice.
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