This Week at Our House #49

1. On Friday night, a rogue federal judge legalized gay marriage in Utah. Although, not shocked, because we knew how the hearing went, John was pretty upset. We were planning a family trip to Temple Square to see the lights, but because there was a lot of activity and gay marriages occurring down town, John thought it better to not drive down there. We will have to find another night to go and see the lights. We expect the 10th circuit court of appeals will grant an emergency stay on gay marriages until the appeals process is complete. There is a lot of work to be done. 
2. My sister Amy had emergency surgery on her gall bladder last Friday. My mom flew in from Maine to help her. By Wednesday, my sister was doing better, so my mom stayed with me for two days. We shopped and hung out and baked. I just loved seeing my mom. It made my week happier. As far as I know, the pregnancy is going well. In the last couple of days, I have really started to look pregnant. There will be no hiding the fact much longer. I am, however, incredibly exhausted all the time. There is just so much going on in my life, I really can't get a reasonable amount of sleep.
3. Ruth had a great week of school. She just loves high school and her friends and classes. She's been working out and trying to lay off the sweets and has lost 5 pounds. I did not think she needed to lose any weight, but she felt self conscious about it. I am glad that she has chosen to live healthy to help her feel better about how she looks.
4. Kate had a lovely time cuddling and chatting with my mom, just like she did when she was little. I was quite happy to see Kate renewing that close relationship with her Grandma.
5. Johnny continues to conveniently forget that he has papers and big projects due until the night before or after they are due. I wish I knew how to convince him to be a little more responsible. 
6. Adam is really, really excited for Christmas. He has been loud and active and running through the house and rough housing like a crazy boy. Sometimes it's cute, and sometimes it's really annoying.
7. Rachel had a fun week of school. Her teacher is so fun and nice. They had a party. They made ginger bread houses, and her teacher did the "Elf on the Shelf". Rachel also really enjoyed hanging out with Grandma for 2 days.
8. Anya is really, really excited for Christmas too. Instead of loud and active, Anya has been extra weepy. It's funny how the over-excited emotions in children seem to bring their other emotions to the surface.
9. Joseph has been very excited for Christmas too. He can't sit still and doesn't hear a word I say to him.
10. Josh spent the two days my mom was here with a high fever. He is doing well now. 
11. Arwen is still the cutest thing ever. My mom bought each of the kids a Christmas present while she was here. She bought Arwen a little people princess horse ramp. Arwen has played with it for hours everyday since she got it. 

This Week's Pictures

The Stockings were hung by the chimney with care

Shepherds Dinner

Eating Shepherd's dinner

This Week at Our House #48

1. This week was concert week. Anya and Adam had a little singing Christmas Concert and Johnny had an orchestra concert. John hated the singing concert particularly because of song, but really enjoyed the orchestra concert.
2. I am so exhausted and am having such a hard getting done all of the necessary stuff because I am nearly 3 months pregnant with baby #10. I had no idea the pregnancies of my first 8 children were so easy. Arwen's and this current pregnancy have been so hard. I am grateful I started young and get to have a big, fun family for making that choice. Baby # 10 is due June 22.
3. Ruth had a caroling party on Friday with her old homeschool pals. On Saturday, she and Kate had a friend over and made lots of different cookies for all of their young women's leaders. They did this on their own initiative and that just made me so happy to see them cheerfully serving others.
4. Monday was Adam and Anya's concert and the little kids were very difficult during it. So, on Wednesday, Kate skipped going to Temple Square with the Young Women to babysit so both John and I could see Johnny play his violin. She took care of all the kids, forced them to clean, cleaned the entire house, and had the kids all ready for bed. What an amazing girl!
5. Johnny's orchestra concert was great. He began playing the violin in September, and he is surprisingly good. He plays the songs smoothly and musically. 
6. Adam was funny at his concert because he just stands there and doesn't move, while all the other kids around him dance and sing animatedly.
7. I took Rachel and Anya Christmas shopping for their siblings. Rachel is fun to shop with. She had a lot of grand ideas on a small budget.
8. Anya really enjoyed doing her little singing performance. She danced and did all the motions and was just so cute.
9. Joseph was actually pretty decent during Adam and Anya's concert which surprised me.
10. Josh had a complete breakdown just as Adam starting singing. This was not a happy mom time for me. Josh is the reason I decided never to bring little kids to school performances again.
11. Arwen LOVES chocolate--too much really. It worries me that she will have weight trouble in her future. A few times this week, she got the 72 oz bag of chocolate chips out of the cupboard and carried it across the house for me to open for her. That sure looked funny.

This Week's Pictures

This Week at Our House # 47 Coming Late

1. We had our first real snow storm and John's usual 20 minute commute turned into a 1hr 45 min commute. He worked at home the next day.
2. I managed to make it through the first week of serious winter weather. I do not like winter weather. I do prefer snow over the brown freezing cold, but really, I would be totally happy if the highs never got below 40. I like the cool down and the fall. I just can't stand the frigid winter temperatures. We enjoyed our first week of celebrating Christmas by reading the prophecies of Christ's birth through out the Bible and Book of Mormon, singing carols almost nightly together and reading lots of fun Christmas stories. I love this part of winter!
3. Ruth had some friend drama during the week that managed to cure itself late Friday night when Ruth and her friends all hung out together and forgot the drama. Ruth has pretty much had a party or a friend hang out every Friday night since Halloween. 
4. Kate had lots more homework and a science fair project and, and, and I think we are both looking forward to 9th grade ending for her. She has way too much work.
5. Johnny was sick with a high fever for a couple of days. We think he had a pretty bad sinus infection because the fever dropped as we got him taking some anti-histimines. 
6. Adam is really our in between child. He is in that 3 year gap spot, but still Johnny's best friend and companion. He tries so hard to be a big kid, but sometimes, he just gets too tired trying to do all the things the big kids do.
7. Rachel is my little Christmas girl. She just loves all things Christmas and no matter how cynical her unbelieving older sister is, Rachel believes in Santa Claus. 
8. Anya had a rough week with a lot of tears and fighting with her siblings. I think she is just excited for Christmas.
9. Joseph loves "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and I love reading it to him. 
10. We moved the toys upstairs to make room for the Christmas tree and Josh for the first time is getting into everything. He needs his toys!
11. Arwen has become quite the little climber. She has even climbed up onto the kitchen sink. All day long, I am putting Arwen back on the floor. She was really cute playing out in the snow for the first time in her life too. 

This Week's Pictures

Josh would not put on a coat or anything other than clothes, socks, and one big glove. He has since changed his mind.

Candy bar trains are fun and edible

Response to Middle Aged Mormon Man

A week or two ago Matt Walsh wrote a blog post to men and particularly husbands stating that pornography is wrong and akin to adultery. Knowing closely what pornography has done to families and people close to me, I really liked his bold statements the topic.

A well known Mormon blogger, Middle Aged Mormon Man, wrote a response condemning Matt Walsh. His post basically said that men who view pornography are stuck in an addiction and it is not their fault. He said these men need to be pitied and treated with compassion instead of being told that pornography is wrong. MMM stated, "If every person who had run-ins with pornography were forced to wear a scarlet letter, I promise you would be surprised to see them everywhere: At sacrament meeting. At Priesthood meeting. At Mutual -YM & YW. At Relief Society. At scout camp. And tragically, in Primary. If all of those brothers and sisters were treated by the church as “adulterers,” Disciplinary Councils would have revolving doors." Well, everyone, may see pornography, but everyone is not doing it.

A recent study conducted at the University of Cambridge viewed MRI's of the brains of men who view pornography often verses men who view it occasionally. The results were very interesting. Men who view pornography often had the same parts of their brain light up when shown pictures of nude women than that of alcoholics who are shown pictures of alcohol. Men who viewed pornography occasionally did not have that.

That leads me to the question: how many times does a man have to view pornography in order to wire his brain in such a way that it becomes an addiction. It would be more than once a week. MMM declares that wives need to forgive their husbands. I believe in forgiveness. I also believe that if a man has conscientiously chosen to view pornography so frequently that he has formed an addiction, than that wife has already had to forgive at least 70 times 7. How much should a wife have to endure for a husband who continually disregards her feelings and the feelings of their children?

Every couple I have known that have struggled with pornography in their marriage has had one striking similarity: the person viewing the pornography constantly criticizes the body and intelligence of the other. It is like criticism of your spouse goes hand in hand with the sin of pornography.

While I usually agree with MMM, I disagreed completely here. His article reminded me of the poem:

“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”
--Alexander Pope

MMM is advocating "pity" for a vice.

I believe the real victims of pornography should be the ones to receive compassion-- wives and mothers who have been scorned and criticized by their husbands for not having the plastic false body they seek out in their porn, children who have had their families torn apart and have lost their fathers because their fathers chose to nurture their lusts rather than their children. Those are the real victims of pornography.

Matt Walsh was telling men to stand up and stay away from the evil of pornography-- to save their marriage and their families. His article seems to fit more with the words of our prophet, Thomas S. Monson when he said, "All of our choices have consequences, some of which have little or nothing to do with our eternal salvation and others of which have everything to do with it. Whether you wear a green T-shirt or a blue one makes no difference in the long run. However, whether you decide to push a key on your computer which will take you to pornography can make all the difference in your life". (President Thomas S. Monson, How to make good Choices, General Conference, October 2012)

All of the enduring, pitying, and embracing of immorality since the sexual revolution have broken apart families. It has injured countless men, and women, and children. I can only imagine what society would be like if our pity for men who have chosen enough times to view pornography that they have rewired the pathways in their brains for addiction turns to embrace their vice. What then will happen to families? At least now, churches, individuals and government leaders still see the continual viewing of pornography as a vice.

Now is a good time to help families be safe from yet another form of destruction. Matt Walsh advocating against pornography is trying to help. MMM advocating for the porn addict does nothing to really help the families suffering because of pornography.

This Week at Our House # 46

1. I think he had a pleasant Thanksgiving and weekend. He got to play a 5 hour nerdy board game with his brother-- which may have been the highlight for him. But everything we made came out perfectly. It was sooo yummy.
2. This year we decided not to go anywhere and not to have any company and it was lovely. Everyone old enough pitched in with the cooking. (Kate did the pie crusts.) Before we ate, we talked about the Pilgrims and Roger Willliams and what they sacrificed for religious freedom and how not one of the Pilgrims returned to England when the opportunity arose. We talked about how the Pilgrims had nothing, half of them died, and yet the first thing they did when things were getting better was to have a big feast to thank the Lord. John and the kids are descendants of John Alden and Priscilla Mullins and Edward Doty all from the Mayflower and we had some fun stories to tell about them too. I think it was our most spiritual Thanksgiving ever. And two big perks were the food came out the best ever and we only had enough leftovers for one more day. 
3. Ruth had school Monday and Tuesday and had the rest of the week off. I heard from Kate that Ruth complained about the vacation not being a vacation at all because we worked so much. But then Ruth had a pretty easy Friday and Saturday. She slept in past 11am on Saturday and declared that she finally felt rested. I think school is often too intense for teenagers. 
4. Kate had the full week of school off. This gave her a chance to catch up on her homework. She worked all day on Monday and Tuesday and talked about how lovely that was and how much she misses homeschool. I took Kate and Ruth to a Mindy Gledhill concert on Saturday night. I know that Kate loved it a ton. Mindy Gledhill is fun and always clean and Kate gets made fun of at school for not listening to or knowing about crass music. I am glad that she has made the choice for herself to keep her music clean. I am sorry that she gets teased for it. Ruth and Kate both confessed that they do not know a lot of the dirty jokes and phrases that all of their friends know and that they are considered innocent, but not in a good way, by their classmates. 
5. Johnny got caught up on his homework too. He had fun playing the 5 hour game with his dad, aunt, and uncle and just hanging out at home for the week. 
6. Adam enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner like no other nine year old of mine ever has. He tried everything and thought it was good. Adam is the only boy that came black Friday shopping with me. I think he had a good time. I did not leave super early, and I will not shop on Thursday, so it was not over crowded and crazy. 
7. Rachel has now finished off her last week of vacation. She starts school again tomorrow. She made the best of this three week break. She played way too many computer games, stayed in her pajamas, read her first entire chapter book, and played and played. 
8. Anya ate only orange rolls and chocolate pie for Thanksgiving dinner. At least she knows what she wants. Anya came black Friday shopping with me, and was quite emotional that I was not buying her everything she wanted. She'll have to wait until Christmas like everyone else.
9. Joseph was great all week until Friday. Friday, he had a bad day and it just continued and continued until Sunday. He broke several Christmas ornaments and a glass bowl. I think his two day accident streak is over and we only have 2 Christmas bulbs left to be broken anyway.
10. We put the Christmas tree up on Wednesday and decorated it on Friday. Josh has really been enjoying the tree and all the lights. 
11. I have 2 small nativity sets available for kid play. Arwen has been playing with them and setting them up a lot. It is so cute. Arwen got a pair of red boots on black friday and she just loves them!!! She cries when we take them off and cries for them to be put on when she sees them. 

This Week's Pictures

Josh was making car noises at this point. I am pretty sure his entire Thanksgiving dinner consisted of olives. 

trying to hide from the camera

still got her legs :)

John always wipes his hands on his shirt

Cat Thanksgiving

She may complain about the amount of chores-- I always do-- but she is always the first to volunteer to help

Cleaning a broken egg out of the fridge

This Week at Our House #45

1. Work has been a little tough for John. He is having to learn a lot to do his part. Several contract employees have left the company. I hope things go faster this next week. 
2. I had an average week. Nothing much out of the ordinary happened.
3. Ruth has been having friend drama once again. I like having her tell me how her days go, but it is always sad when she has a rough patch.
4. Kate had a regular week with lots of school. She has the entire week off for Thanksgiving break and is really looking forward to it.
5. Johnny didn't do/turn in a bunch of papers and a project. I made him stay up very late Thursday night to catch up, and we did not give him any help. We are pretty disappointed in him right now. Maybe he will redeem himself over the break, because I am going to make him do some painting in the house to make up for his laziness in school.
6. Adam finally had his birthday party on Friday. Eight of his classmates came. That was one wild party for sure. Adam had fun and got some cool gifts. John and I were relieved when all the kids went home. I am so glad I only made it an hour and a half party. I think another half hour would have killed me. I now know that I never want to be a third grade teacher.
7. Rachel had her second week off from school on her year round schedule. She is definitely taking advantage of the time off this time around. I have been pretty easy going on her too. She has been allowed to stay up late and play computer games when others have not. I let her watch "More the Merrier", an old movie, a few nights back. In the movie, one of the main characters continually chants, "d--- the torpedoes, full speed ahead!" Rachel really liked them and mistakenly keeps chanting "Down the torpedoes..." at first we told her to stop swearing. Then we realized she thought it was "Down the torpedoes and that's okay to chant around the house.
8. I got to volunteer in Anya's kindergarten classroom on Friday. She had a Thanksgiving Feast. I loved seeing her with her friends in her school environment. She is very careful to be good.
9. Joseph is learning his alphabet and writing his letters. He seems to be picking it up pretty quickly with the help of Starfall.com. Since his birthday is in July and he is a boy, I wasn't sure if I could have him ready for kindergarten next fall. I think academically he will be great. The challenge is going to be whether or not he will be able to sit long enough. 
10. I cut Josh's hair. It is a bit shorter than I meant it to be, but he was very pleased with the outcome. He looks more grown up now.
11. Arwen says, "yea" to almost everything I ask her. Sometimes she will tell me no or shake her head no, but it is refreshing to have a one year old excitedly answer "yea".

This Week's Pictures

Management Monday: Miracle Discipline Trick

With some kids all I have to do is look at them funny and they feel punished, even if I didn't mean a thing. Others there just seems to be nothing I can do to persuade them. I have found a trick that is working like magic.

I call the child over to me. I make that child look me in the eyes. I tell them what I want them to do or to stop doing. I then have them repeat back to me what I told them. Then I ask them when they plan to do it. The kid then usually says, "right now."

It has worked every single time. I have never been able to punish or persuade little Joseph, and now I can always get him to do what I want him to do. I hope it keeps working. It makes me think that my failure has come in not getting the attention of my children.