I was talking to a group of home schooling mothers at the park the other day. We talked about various things, and one thing that came up was CPS (Child Protection Services). Everyone had something to say about that.
One mother said: My 9 year daughter wants to ride her bike the half mile to 7-eleven to buy a soda. I know she can do it and would be just fine, but what if some neighbor saw her and didn't approve.
Another mother said: When we lived in MD, I didn't dare let my kids out of the house because some one might call CPS for them playing ball on our quiet street.
Another woman told about how police tapped on her car window to wake her husband up while he slept in the car with their baby. She was in a store.
My friend in Kansas had a neighbor call the police on her because her 6 children ages 1 to 12 were playing in their front yard without a parent.
I had another friend that had CPS called on her because her baby leaked her diaper just as she got to the gym, so she sent the baby to the daycare facility at the gym in a clean onesie-- she didn't have a full change of clothes on hand.
I read a recent case about a mother on trial for leaving two of her children in a car for a couple of minutes on a winter day while she went into a store.
Now, I know that CPS has a place. I worked with children with disabilities and many of these disabilities were the result of parental abuse and neglect. BUT...CPS does not stay in its place. Should parents really have to be afraid to leave their children in the car in the winter at the store for ten minutes, or let their kids ride their bikes a half mile away from home and buy a snack at the store, or even play in their own front yard without a parent present?
Is it even healthy for children to never be allowed to explore the outdoors, play without constant supervision, or make a purchase for themselves at the store?
Should parents have to worry that somebody might call the parent police on them?
One thing that really bugs me is that removing children from a home with good parents, or sending a good parent to jail for a parenting decision that not everyone approves of is about the worse thing the government could do to a child. The parent child relationship is the most important thing to a developing child-- take that away and you've taken a child's best chance for love, protection and self worth.
I don't think parents should have to live in fear of letting their kids play and develop in the same ways they did. CPS needs to find it's real place.
1 comment:
The story about the cop waking a sleeping father and child reminds me of something that happened to me a while back. I was sitting in my car right in front of a video store while my then 6yo daughter returned a video (through the return slot, not going inside). I was watching my daughter, and didn't notice a cop approach me from the other side of the car, so when he knocked on the window, it startled me. He then proceeded to ream me out for not noticing him because he "could have been a carjacker." Then he ripped me a new one for my daughter not being in a carseat, even though the law at the time only required carseats for kids under 4. He never did get around to telling me why he was bothering me in the first place.
More recently we've been having trouble with the new cop who patrols our neighborhood. We live in a quiet, insulated suburban neighborhood, but this guy insists that children should not be allowed to play in the street. I'm talking about even teenagers playing ball on a side street, this cop comes in yelling at them and telling them to stay out of the street. Then, a few weeks ago, he brought my 5yo home and yelled at me because he didn't approve of her being allowed to walk two houses down to her friend's house. He told me that she was walking along the curb, and kept stepping into the street. (There is sidewalk in front of my house and her friend's house, but not the house in between.) When I asked if there were cars coming, or if she stepped in front of any traffic, he freaked at my "lack of concern" and threatened to call CPS. In other words, no, there were no cars, but darn if I shouldn't be properly horrified about my daughter walking along the curb for twenty feet on the way to her friend's house!
I later found out that this isn't the first time that cop has freaked out on my daughter. Her friend's dad told me that another day, when my daughter was walking home, the cop accosted her and started lecturing her about how dangerous it was to be walking alone. Since the friend's dad was standing *right there* in his front yard, he intervened and pointed out that not only was he watching my daughter walk home, but every house on the street is occupied by known, trustworthy people who are home and watching out for all the neighborhood kids.
Still my husband has decided that he doesn't want the kids playing outside during school hours, because he doesn't want to give this cop any more excuses to harass our children. I think that totally sucks. There's no daytime curfew here, and IMO, no reason the kids shouldn't be allowed to play outside if their school and chores are done. (But, of course, I don't want to deal with the jerk cop, either.)
OTOH, last week a CPS worker stopped by looking for my niece. (That's a long story.) She was very nice, and didn't say a word about our 7 homeschooled kids playing in the yard and out front. In fact, when my husband explained that we used to homeschool our niece but she doesn't live here anymore, the social worker said how nice it was, that she'd heard so many good things about homeschooling! So at least they aren't all crazy.
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