This Week at Our House # 50

Christmas

Christmas was such a beautiful day, and the whole Christmas season has been such a nice time with my John and the kids. I am very thankful for how the Spirit directs us in the details of our lives. Back in October, I felt very impressed that we needed to do a big Christmas. When John and I prayed about it together, we knew that those were true promptings. We never, ever do a big Christmas. We usually don't spend more than $30 to $50 a kid. I felt like it needed to be the opposite this year. With John being unemployed for 6 months of this past year, it has been hard on the kids. They do not have the stuff, the music lessons, the sports, and all the other things that most kids have because we have just been too poor. To pay for Christmas, we did two things: we did not purchase health insurance until Jan 1, and I saved $450 between Oct and Nov. Between those two, we were able to fund a bigger Christmas. 

It is interesting how things happened. We provided nice and big things for our family, but also things that we really needed. I bought John a very nice laptop (got it half off on black friday. It is a touch screen/laptop combo). We really needed it. We've had 3 computers break down over the past year and it has been tough, especially for John. Now he has a better laptop for the same price as all of our broken cheap-o laptops.

Ruth and Kate got smart phones. They really needed phones. We have struggled trying to get by as a family with just 2 cell phones and no home phones. There has been some inconvenience and some close calls with dangerous situations that more phones would have remedied. Those phones will help our teens as they begin to date and drive. They will also help when we go to the mall and they want to split up. And they will help a whole lot when they need to get in touch with me from school. There is just an expectation that kids that age will have phones that makes it harder when they ask the secretaries at school to use the phone. Ruth and Kate are happy to have them, but I think I am just as happy. We found an incredible deal for the phones on Amazon.com and were able to buy the phones out right. 

Our wii broke down while we were unemployed, so we got our 2 oldest boys a wii u. And they are very, very happy. 

I got shelves to organize the toys and to make our house nicer. They look so much better and it has made it a lot easier for the kids to access their toys and pick up their toys. I love those shelves!

Rachel, Anya, and Joseph got lego sets, crayons, markers, coloring books, paints, and playdough. Josh got trains and cars. Arwen got a little doll stroller, a v-tech smart phone ($10), and a magna doodle. They are still quite happy. 

The one concern I had about doing a big Christmas was the possibility of it taking Christ out of Christmas and raising the expectations of our kids. But, we had the most Christ centered Christmas season we have ever had. When asked, all of our little kids said Christmas is about Jesus being born-- that has never happened. Presents or Santa are more typical answers. And instead of being greedy or entitled, our kids seemed more humbled. It truly has been a beautiful Christmas Season.

Great Grandma Jane Robertson

Around midnight last night, we got home from a 48 hr spontaneous trip to Mesa, AZ. John's Grandmother fell and broke her hip the Saturday before Christmas. She will be 94 tomorrow and the doctor said that only 4% at this age do not die from complications of a broken hip. Great Grandma made it through the surgery. We haven't seen her in two years, so we raced down to see her first thing after Christmas. I woke up at 8:25 on Thursday morning, packed everyone's clothes, soap, diapers, 10 pounds of apples, and 13 pounds of oranges into the van. I reserved two hotel rooms at a Super 8 motel near the hospital and we drove the 12 hours down to Mesa, Arizona. 

To our happy surprise, the kids were very, very good the whole ride. No one cried, and no one fought. That is just so weird for me to think about. I expected plenty of tears and plenty of fighting. 

We got our hotel at 11pm with some McDonald's dinner. The girl's slept with me in one room. The boys slept with John in the other room. Josh bounced around until 3am-- poor boys. We borrowed a second port-crib for Josh from John's sister for the second night and that cured the bouncing.

In the morning, we went straight to the hospital to see Great Grandma. She was happy to see us. She looked very frail, but pretty good considering. John bent down near her and she said, "oh, you look just like Jim (John's dad), and you have Richard's jaw (John's uncle)." That was just so sweet. She remembered Rachel as her "little friend", because Rachel has always paid special attention to her Great Grandma. 

After we left the hospital, we went down the road to hang out with John's sister Amy. The kids had fun playing outside in the warm AZ winter. 

Later that night, John and Rachel went back to see Great Grandma. Grandma was in pain and asked John to stay with her and keep her company until it was time for her pain medication. John sat with her for 2 hours and listened to her tell stories. That time alone was worth our quick little trip. 

We know where John's sense of humor comes from. When the nurse brought the medication in, the nurse said,"This is a big pill. Is that okay?" Grandma said, "Well, it's a big pain."

When John and Rachel got back to his sister's house, we took our very tired little kids back to the hotel and settled them down for the night. The second night in the hotel was much easier and we all slept pretty well.

We stopped by John's sister's to say good by. She gave us some yummy tangelos from her fruit tree. (Those were a big hit on our way home.) The kids did just as well on our drive home and got themselves straight in bed as soon as we pulled into the driveway. We still have to unpack the rest of the car and clean it out tomorrow. I am glad we took this quick little trip to have some time with Great Grandma.

Great Grandma Jane has 6 children, 40 grandchildren, and 88 great grandchildren with more on the way, and she remembers all the birthdays. She seems to be doing well. She was moved from the hospital to a rehabilitation clinic while we were there. Maybe she will be one of the 4%. She is certainly a great lady.

This Week at Our House #49

1. On Friday night, a rogue federal judge legalized gay marriage in Utah. Although, not shocked, because we knew how the hearing went, John was pretty upset. We were planning a family trip to Temple Square to see the lights, but because there was a lot of activity and gay marriages occurring down town, John thought it better to not drive down there. We will have to find another night to go and see the lights. We expect the 10th circuit court of appeals will grant an emergency stay on gay marriages until the appeals process is complete. There is a lot of work to be done. 
2. My sister Amy had emergency surgery on her gall bladder last Friday. My mom flew in from Maine to help her. By Wednesday, my sister was doing better, so my mom stayed with me for two days. We shopped and hung out and baked. I just loved seeing my mom. It made my week happier. As far as I know, the pregnancy is going well. In the last couple of days, I have really started to look pregnant. There will be no hiding the fact much longer. I am, however, incredibly exhausted all the time. There is just so much going on in my life, I really can't get a reasonable amount of sleep.
3. Ruth had a great week of school. She just loves high school and her friends and classes. She's been working out and trying to lay off the sweets and has lost 5 pounds. I did not think she needed to lose any weight, but she felt self conscious about it. I am glad that she has chosen to live healthy to help her feel better about how she looks.
4. Kate had a lovely time cuddling and chatting with my mom, just like she did when she was little. I was quite happy to see Kate renewing that close relationship with her Grandma.
5. Johnny continues to conveniently forget that he has papers and big projects due until the night before or after they are due. I wish I knew how to convince him to be a little more responsible. 
6. Adam is really, really excited for Christmas. He has been loud and active and running through the house and rough housing like a crazy boy. Sometimes it's cute, and sometimes it's really annoying.
7. Rachel had a fun week of school. Her teacher is so fun and nice. They had a party. They made ginger bread houses, and her teacher did the "Elf on the Shelf". Rachel also really enjoyed hanging out with Grandma for 2 days.
8. Anya is really, really excited for Christmas too. Instead of loud and active, Anya has been extra weepy. It's funny how the over-excited emotions in children seem to bring their other emotions to the surface.
9. Joseph has been very excited for Christmas too. He can't sit still and doesn't hear a word I say to him.
10. Josh spent the two days my mom was here with a high fever. He is doing well now. 
11. Arwen is still the cutest thing ever. My mom bought each of the kids a Christmas present while she was here. She bought Arwen a little people princess horse ramp. Arwen has played with it for hours everyday since she got it. 

This Week's Pictures

The Stockings were hung by the chimney with care

Shepherds Dinner

Eating Shepherd's dinner

This Week at Our House #48

1. This week was concert week. Anya and Adam had a little singing Christmas Concert and Johnny had an orchestra concert. John hated the singing concert particularly because of song, but really enjoyed the orchestra concert.
2. I am so exhausted and am having such a hard getting done all of the necessary stuff because I am nearly 3 months pregnant with baby #10. I had no idea the pregnancies of my first 8 children were so easy. Arwen's and this current pregnancy have been so hard. I am grateful I started young and get to have a big, fun family for making that choice. Baby # 10 is due June 22.
3. Ruth had a caroling party on Friday with her old homeschool pals. On Saturday, she and Kate had a friend over and made lots of different cookies for all of their young women's leaders. They did this on their own initiative and that just made me so happy to see them cheerfully serving others.
4. Monday was Adam and Anya's concert and the little kids were very difficult during it. So, on Wednesday, Kate skipped going to Temple Square with the Young Women to babysit so both John and I could see Johnny play his violin. She took care of all the kids, forced them to clean, cleaned the entire house, and had the kids all ready for bed. What an amazing girl!
5. Johnny's orchestra concert was great. He began playing the violin in September, and he is surprisingly good. He plays the songs smoothly and musically. 
6. Adam was funny at his concert because he just stands there and doesn't move, while all the other kids around him dance and sing animatedly.
7. I took Rachel and Anya Christmas shopping for their siblings. Rachel is fun to shop with. She had a lot of grand ideas on a small budget.
8. Anya really enjoyed doing her little singing performance. She danced and did all the motions and was just so cute.
9. Joseph was actually pretty decent during Adam and Anya's concert which surprised me.
10. Josh had a complete breakdown just as Adam starting singing. This was not a happy mom time for me. Josh is the reason I decided never to bring little kids to school performances again.
11. Arwen LOVES chocolate--too much really. It worries me that she will have weight trouble in her future. A few times this week, she got the 72 oz bag of chocolate chips out of the cupboard and carried it across the house for me to open for her. That sure looked funny.

This Week's Pictures

This Week at Our House # 47 Coming Late

1. We had our first real snow storm and John's usual 20 minute commute turned into a 1hr 45 min commute. He worked at home the next day.
2. I managed to make it through the first week of serious winter weather. I do not like winter weather. I do prefer snow over the brown freezing cold, but really, I would be totally happy if the highs never got below 40. I like the cool down and the fall. I just can't stand the frigid winter temperatures. We enjoyed our first week of celebrating Christmas by reading the prophecies of Christ's birth through out the Bible and Book of Mormon, singing carols almost nightly together and reading lots of fun Christmas stories. I love this part of winter!
3. Ruth had some friend drama during the week that managed to cure itself late Friday night when Ruth and her friends all hung out together and forgot the drama. Ruth has pretty much had a party or a friend hang out every Friday night since Halloween. 
4. Kate had lots more homework and a science fair project and, and, and I think we are both looking forward to 9th grade ending for her. She has way too much work.
5. Johnny was sick with a high fever for a couple of days. We think he had a pretty bad sinus infection because the fever dropped as we got him taking some anti-histimines. 
6. Adam is really our in between child. He is in that 3 year gap spot, but still Johnny's best friend and companion. He tries so hard to be a big kid, but sometimes, he just gets too tired trying to do all the things the big kids do.
7. Rachel is my little Christmas girl. She just loves all things Christmas and no matter how cynical her unbelieving older sister is, Rachel believes in Santa Claus. 
8. Anya had a rough week with a lot of tears and fighting with her siblings. I think she is just excited for Christmas.
9. Joseph loves "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and I love reading it to him. 
10. We moved the toys upstairs to make room for the Christmas tree and Josh for the first time is getting into everything. He needs his toys!
11. Arwen has become quite the little climber. She has even climbed up onto the kitchen sink. All day long, I am putting Arwen back on the floor. She was really cute playing out in the snow for the first time in her life too. 

This Week's Pictures

Josh would not put on a coat or anything other than clothes, socks, and one big glove. He has since changed his mind.

Candy bar trains are fun and edible

Response to Middle Aged Mormon Man

A week or two ago Matt Walsh wrote a blog post to men and particularly husbands stating that pornography is wrong and akin to adultery. Knowing closely what pornography has done to families and people close to me, I really liked his bold statements the topic.

A well known Mormon blogger, Middle Aged Mormon Man, wrote a response condemning Matt Walsh. His post basically said that men who view pornography are stuck in an addiction and it is not their fault. He said these men need to be pitied and treated with compassion instead of being told that pornography is wrong. MMM stated, "If every person who had run-ins with pornography were forced to wear a scarlet letter, I promise you would be surprised to see them everywhere: At sacrament meeting. At Priesthood meeting. At Mutual -YM & YW. At Relief Society. At scout camp. And tragically, in Primary. If all of those brothers and sisters were treated by the church as “adulterers,” Disciplinary Councils would have revolving doors." Well, everyone, may see pornography, but everyone is not doing it.

A recent study conducted at the University of Cambridge viewed MRI's of the brains of men who view pornography often verses men who view it occasionally. The results were very interesting. Men who view pornography often had the same parts of their brain light up when shown pictures of nude women than that of alcoholics who are shown pictures of alcohol. Men who viewed pornography occasionally did not have that.

That leads me to the question: how many times does a man have to view pornography in order to wire his brain in such a way that it becomes an addiction. It would be more than once a week. MMM declares that wives need to forgive their husbands. I believe in forgiveness. I also believe that if a man has conscientiously chosen to view pornography so frequently that he has formed an addiction, than that wife has already had to forgive at least 70 times 7. How much should a wife have to endure for a husband who continually disregards her feelings and the feelings of their children?

Every couple I have known that have struggled with pornography in their marriage has had one striking similarity: the person viewing the pornography constantly criticizes the body and intelligence of the other. It is like criticism of your spouse goes hand in hand with the sin of pornography.

While I usually agree with MMM, I disagreed completely here. His article reminded me of the poem:

“Vice is a monster of so frightful mien
As to be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”
--Alexander Pope

MMM is advocating "pity" for a vice.

I believe the real victims of pornography should be the ones to receive compassion-- wives and mothers who have been scorned and criticized by their husbands for not having the plastic false body they seek out in their porn, children who have had their families torn apart and have lost their fathers because their fathers chose to nurture their lusts rather than their children. Those are the real victims of pornography.

Matt Walsh was telling men to stand up and stay away from the evil of pornography-- to save their marriage and their families. His article seems to fit more with the words of our prophet, Thomas S. Monson when he said, "All of our choices have consequences, some of which have little or nothing to do with our eternal salvation and others of which have everything to do with it. Whether you wear a green T-shirt or a blue one makes no difference in the long run. However, whether you decide to push a key on your computer which will take you to pornography can make all the difference in your life". (President Thomas S. Monson, How to make good Choices, General Conference, October 2012)

All of the enduring, pitying, and embracing of immorality since the sexual revolution have broken apart families. It has injured countless men, and women, and children. I can only imagine what society would be like if our pity for men who have chosen enough times to view pornography that they have rewired the pathways in their brains for addiction turns to embrace their vice. What then will happen to families? At least now, churches, individuals and government leaders still see the continual viewing of pornography as a vice.

Now is a good time to help families be safe from yet another form of destruction. Matt Walsh advocating against pornography is trying to help. MMM advocating for the porn addict does nothing to really help the families suffering because of pornography.

This Week at Our House # 46

1. I think he had a pleasant Thanksgiving and weekend. He got to play a 5 hour nerdy board game with his brother-- which may have been the highlight for him. But everything we made came out perfectly. It was sooo yummy.
2. This year we decided not to go anywhere and not to have any company and it was lovely. Everyone old enough pitched in with the cooking. (Kate did the pie crusts.) Before we ate, we talked about the Pilgrims and Roger Willliams and what they sacrificed for religious freedom and how not one of the Pilgrims returned to England when the opportunity arose. We talked about how the Pilgrims had nothing, half of them died, and yet the first thing they did when things were getting better was to have a big feast to thank the Lord. John and the kids are descendants of John Alden and Priscilla Mullins and Edward Doty all from the Mayflower and we had some fun stories to tell about them too. I think it was our most spiritual Thanksgiving ever. And two big perks were the food came out the best ever and we only had enough leftovers for one more day. 
3. Ruth had school Monday and Tuesday and had the rest of the week off. I heard from Kate that Ruth complained about the vacation not being a vacation at all because we worked so much. But then Ruth had a pretty easy Friday and Saturday. She slept in past 11am on Saturday and declared that she finally felt rested. I think school is often too intense for teenagers. 
4. Kate had the full week of school off. This gave her a chance to catch up on her homework. She worked all day on Monday and Tuesday and talked about how lovely that was and how much she misses homeschool. I took Kate and Ruth to a Mindy Gledhill concert on Saturday night. I know that Kate loved it a ton. Mindy Gledhill is fun and always clean and Kate gets made fun of at school for not listening to or knowing about crass music. I am glad that she has made the choice for herself to keep her music clean. I am sorry that she gets teased for it. Ruth and Kate both confessed that they do not know a lot of the dirty jokes and phrases that all of their friends know and that they are considered innocent, but not in a good way, by their classmates. 
5. Johnny got caught up on his homework too. He had fun playing the 5 hour game with his dad, aunt, and uncle and just hanging out at home for the week. 
6. Adam enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner like no other nine year old of mine ever has. He tried everything and thought it was good. Adam is the only boy that came black Friday shopping with me. I think he had a good time. I did not leave super early, and I will not shop on Thursday, so it was not over crowded and crazy. 
7. Rachel has now finished off her last week of vacation. She starts school again tomorrow. She made the best of this three week break. She played way too many computer games, stayed in her pajamas, read her first entire chapter book, and played and played. 
8. Anya ate only orange rolls and chocolate pie for Thanksgiving dinner. At least she knows what she wants. Anya came black Friday shopping with me, and was quite emotional that I was not buying her everything she wanted. She'll have to wait until Christmas like everyone else.
9. Joseph was great all week until Friday. Friday, he had a bad day and it just continued and continued until Sunday. He broke several Christmas ornaments and a glass bowl. I think his two day accident streak is over and we only have 2 Christmas bulbs left to be broken anyway.
10. We put the Christmas tree up on Wednesday and decorated it on Friday. Josh has really been enjoying the tree and all the lights. 
11. I have 2 small nativity sets available for kid play. Arwen has been playing with them and setting them up a lot. It is so cute. Arwen got a pair of red boots on black friday and she just loves them!!! She cries when we take them off and cries for them to be put on when she sees them. 

This Week's Pictures

Josh was making car noises at this point. I am pretty sure his entire Thanksgiving dinner consisted of olives. 

trying to hide from the camera

still got her legs :)

John always wipes his hands on his shirt

Cat Thanksgiving

She may complain about the amount of chores-- I always do-- but she is always the first to volunteer to help

Cleaning a broken egg out of the fridge