Temple Square

 

I paid my $5 for 20Gbs and now I can post pictures again. A couple of weeks ago, we went to see the lights on Temple Square for family home evening. It is so beautiful and it is free. My favorite part is the nativity set. They have a recording with the scriptures and Thomas S. Monson speaking. It is just the best nativity I have been to, including some live ones. While we were there, a 3-4 year old girl ran up and climbed onto a lamb. That was good for a laugh and we were glad that it was not our 2 or 4 year old daughters escaping, it surely could have been. We were lucky that it has been reasonably warm this year, which made our visit very pleasant.

Conversation with Johnny and Adam

I took Johnny and Adam out to lunch on Saturday because they both had free kid meals as reading awards from school and because they wanted to, "Go on a date with Mom." On the way to the restaurant I had a very funny conversation with them.

Adam said that he had found out what he wants to do for a job. He said that there is a job that you just play video games and decided how they are to be rated. I told Adam that while that sounds really fun and easy that he would not want to have that job. I explained that he would have to be watching all kinds of bad things like too much blood and killing and a lot of bad, immodest women and that would be bad for him and hurt him. Adam agreed immediately and said, "I will just be a Ninja then."

Johnny then replied, "Adam, Ninja is not a real job. If you want to get a job that has real killing you should join the army."

I said, "I don't think you need a real job with real killing. War is not fun or like the movies."

Adam said, "I just want to be a Ninja. Being a Ninja will be my job."

Then Johnny said. "You can't do that Adam. Ninja is not a job. I have found the perfect job for me. I am going to be a librarian so all I have to do is read all day."

I replied, "Johnny, librarians do not get paid very much. You wouldn't even be able to make enough money to pay for your own apartment. There is no way you could support a family on a librarian's salary. Besides, librarians don't read all day, they stack books back onto shelves all day."

Johnny, a little disappointed said, "Well, okay, I won't do that. Maybe I could be a professor. Is that a good job?"

"Yes, I said. That is a good job."

Then Johnny said, "I know money is important, but, I could never be what Kate wants to be and preform surgeries on brains."

"That is okay," I replied, "Being a doctor is not for everyone and blood makes you feel sick. There are a lot of good jobs. Maybe you could work on computers like Dad and Jeremy, or maybe you could be a business owner or something. There are a lot of good jobs."

Then Adam said, "Being a Ninja is a good job!"

Need to Purchase More Space

I tried to write a post about our trip to see the lights at Temple square, but when I went to put in pictures, I got a message saying I have used up my free 1GB space and will need to purchase more space. I guess I will do that later.

Christmas Budget

Every year, how to budget Christmas is a question for many people. How do you get your children gifts they want that are not too expensive or extravagant is difficult. I though I would share a few of my thoughts on this matter. We have tried a few things over the years, with each year being a little different.

First, I think that from birth Christmas should be focused more on the  giving than the getting. Most years , we choose a family that is struggling and do something for them for Christmas. If we just give money, we talk to the kids about poor people who do not have much money and will not be able to have much of a Christmas. We ask them if they would be willing to have smaller gifts to help children who will get no gifts. The answer is always a resounding YES.  Some of the other  things we do is we have them get gifts for each other. We have to keep this small, but we have each child think about what their siblings might like getting. We also make cookies and let the kids take them to neighbors and such. We find that all of these things help our children in understanding that they do not need big things and lots of gifts to have a happy Christmas.

Second, focus most of our Christmas celebration on the birth of the Savior. Most nights during December, we read scriptural accounts of Jesus's birth. We sing Christmas carols most nights too and make sure we get plenty of religious songs in our singing. We also have the kids act out the nativity each year. This year, we even gave the first child to memorize Luke 2:4-20 movie theater tickets to Narnia. (Kate won that challenge) So she will have a date with Dad. I also make sure that some of our crafts include religious things, like making angels for tree ornaments. Making service a part of the Christmas celebration also helps our children to focus on the Savior and the needs of other people. We still of course sing songs about snow and Santa Claus. We hang up our stockings and count down to Christmas. We make paper trees, stockings, and santas. But we try to include as much of the Savior into all of this as possible.

Third, we just do small Christmas's. Santa Claus has only ever given our children one gift and stocking items. Then John and I only get the children 2 additional smaller gifts. The most we spend on a single item is usually around $20 to $30. The kids just know this. If it is a big present, it is for more than one child. Rachel and Anya are getting a large shared gift from Santa this year. Anything else we give them will be less than $10. The kids know that if they want a large gift, they have to wait for their birthdays. For birthdays, we let the kids choose between a birthday party or an expensive present. Since parties tend to be at least $100, our kids can choose a large gift instead. We find one birthday in any month a lot easier to budget than expensive gifts for 7 children all in one month.

Finally, we talk to the kids about our budget. For example, yesterday, Kate said, "it is pay day, why do we not have good snacks?" We told her she could either have Christmas presents or expensive snack food in December, but that we didn't have money for both. For the older kids, we will explain that we have this much money per person, so don't list anything more expensive than that. They will try, but they have never been disappointed.

We have tried a few different things like shopping sales all year round, getting used items, only giving small cheap items,  skipping grocery shopping etc, and I haven't felt like one thing has necessarily worked better than the other. What keeps us from going into to debt for Christmas is just plain old not being to extragavant and being generous to those in need.

Our Happy Thanksgiving

We had a very nice, easy going Thanksgiving this year at John's parents house with  a lot of siblings and cousins. One might think with all of the people and small children, Thanksgiving would have been crazy and loud and messy. But it was not. We fed all of the small children first, put on a movie, and had a nice chance to relax, eat and converse. The clean up didn't even seem so difficult with lots of hands to help. And the amazing part of it all-- no one spilled anything. No food or drink ever met the floor. My lonely, reclusive brother, Seth came and I think he even enjoyed himself somewhat.

We stayed late, arriving home just before 2am. Today, just like Wednesday, we hung around the house playing games, reading and watching movies. This break from school has been a much needed happy relaxing break. It is one of those times where I am very glad I did not schedule us with lots of things to do.

So in celebration of Thanksgiving I would like to list a few things that I am thankful for today.

1. The Pilgrims who suffered and sacrificed much to build a new and free place to worship God as they pleased. What a great foundation for a nation!
2. My nice home with the cozy fireplace and big family room.
3.The fact that we will not have to repair our cars again for a few more months.
4.My big girls who are fun to hang out and chat with.
5.Anya telling me she loves me.
6.The clever way Joseph gets into EVERYTHING
7. The fact that Rachel seems to picking up her alphabet easily and speedily.
8.Johnny hiding out reading all day.
9.The Christmas bat Adam drew for me and hung up beside my bed.
10. A husband who loves and adores me and thinks I am pretty no matter how fat, pregnant, and splotchy I look.
11.My religion that helps me know what is good, and my Savior, Jesus Christ, who lifts me up and supports me in every part of my life.

Our Santa Claus Woes

 

Last year I wrote this post:

Memories of Kate

In January 2003, when Kate was a mere 3 years old (a little younger than Rachel is now), I had a very surprising conversation with her. Ruth, Kate and I were painting pictures at the table. Ruth asked about what she should paint and we started talking about magic. I sang some of an old song "do you believe in magic in a young girls heart" Ruth really liked the idea of magic in her heart, but Kate very solemnly declared, "I do not believe in magic." I asked her why, and she continued, "I do not believe in magic because I can see it in my movies, but I never see it in life. So I think magic is not real." Ruth mentioned that fairies are real and Kate said, "I do not believe in fairies because I cannot see them and they are magic. I do not believe in Santa Claus because he is magic and magic is not real. I do not believe in Heavenly Father because I cannot see Him. But I think Jesus is real because he is in my movies." (I know that her logic is a bit skewed, but she was only 3). I felt rather astonished, and secretly pleased with her three year old reasoning skills. I told her that Heavenly Father and Jesus were indeed real and true, but that she was right about magic not happening in real life. (Ruth disagreed on the no-magic point.) That was the end of things for a while.

The Christmas that Kate was 4, almost a year later, Kate asked if Santa Claus was real. Because I wanted to keep Santa Claus alive a little longer I avoided the question mainly by telling her that she could believe in whatever she wanted to.  I think Kate agonized a little over this answer, but with being at Grandma Pardon's house and all of the goodies and presents, she let the topic go and enjoyed Christmas.

The following year, we had moved to Wichita, and Kate was 5 and in Kindergarten. As it got toward Christmas, Kate started asking me if Santa was real again. The same trick that I tried the year before was clearly not going to satisfy a 5 year old Kate. After a few times of the answer, "you can believe what you want," Kate came to me and stated, "Mom, I need to know the truth. Is Heavenly Father real? Is Jesus real? Is Santa Claus real?" Well, given the introduction I told her the truth. I also told her that other little kids believe in Santa Claus and that is a fun thing so she could not tell other people. But the next day Kate brought Ruth to me. Ruth complained that Kate said Santa was not true. Before I could respond, Kate looked me in the eyes and said, "Mom you have to tell the truth." Now Ruth no longer believed in Santa Claus. Then Kate brought Johnny to me and said the same thing. So Santa Claus was all over for us very early  on.

Not too long after this, John came to me and said he was so glad that we were being honest with our kids and that he was glad not to be lying to them about Santa Claus anymore. I was totally shocked because John's family holds Santa Claus in very high reguard. It turns out that John as a 10 year old fifth grader had an argument with his entire class about Santa Claus. He believed still, and the clincher of his reasoning was, "I know that Santa Claus is real because my mom and dad told me he is, and they do not tell lies." Poor John. I guess he still felt a little upset about this whole thing.

Kate did not stop her crusade. She told her entire kindergarten class that Santa is not real. No one believed her, though. That following summer, John and I were confronted with an angry sister Mary because Kate told her 7 year old cousin, Elizabeth, that Santa was not real. I do not know if Lizzy believed Kate or not. Last year when I said to Adam, "Santa Claus is coming to town." Kate said, "Mom!!! You cannot tell lies. Now tell Adam the truth." I said, "Okay, Adam Santa Claus is just pretend." But for a boy who very thoroughly believes in monsters and talking dogs (Scooby Doo), no Santa Claus did not fly for him. Adam very solemnly declared, "Santa Claus is real and so is SCooby Doo." So that is where we are at. I think Kate has calmed down a bit on her crusade to rid the children of the "Santa Claus lie", and no matter what we tell Adam he believes that Santa Claus, monsters, and Scooby Doo are completely real and true.

Now fast forward to 2010  Kate wrote a letter to St. Nicholas stating, "I am sorry you are dead. What is heaven like?" Kate and Johnny have both had discussions about the historical figure, St. Nicholas. But then talk about how he never had magic and how he has been dead for a very long time.And how the current Santa Claus figure is pretty silly.

Now, Adam has declared that Santa Claus is not real. He knows this is true because Johnny told him. (I guess Johnny is held in high esteem with Adam.) Of course, Adam told Rachel that Santa Claus is not real. Rachel asked me if Santa was real, and I said sure. Adam said, "MOM--UM, Santa is NOT real." I said, Rachel, "Do you think Santa is real?" Rachel said she did. I told her that that was good.

I then had the conversation with Adam about how it is fun for little kids to believe in Santa Claus. I told him NOT to tell his kindergarten class. Of course, being my child, Adam has declared to his kindergarten class, his teacher, the lady at the grocery store and whoever else will listen to him at all, that Santa is not true. Then he will loudly declare that " the truth about Santa Claus is a secret, huh?" (I think we have trouble keeping secrets over here).

Rachel is just confused at this point, and I really doubt she will make it to next Christmas believing in the jolly fat guy. In fact, I expect to be posting in a year from now that Kate, Johnny, Adam, and Rachel have all told their kindergarten classes that Santa Claus is not real. Fortunately, no one believes them.

We put up our Christmas tree yesterday and since we can, we are all still wearing our pajamas. I am thankful for Thanksgiving break :)!

Mother's Heart : Thursday's Post on Motherhood

A lot of people say to me, "I don't know how you do it!" Currently, that is the most popular thing for people who know me and don't know me to say to me. Years ago I used to get the comment, "Your hands are full," almost daily and I had just three children. Sometimes this would bother me so much that I would not leave the house just because I didn't want to hear about my full hands. The comment "your hands are full," has mostly been stated in a derogatory tone. This hurt my feelings because being a mother was exactly what I always wanted to be. In fact, being a mother of many has been my dream since I was a little girl. I still have a few pictures that I drew of my future family. I never had fewer than 10 children in those pictures. Getting married and having children has truly been my dream come true and my happily ever after.

I have many days that I look at my sweet children and think how very blessed I have been to have each precious child. I love to watch my children interact together and learn and discover their world. I love the cute little things my toddlers say. I love helping my older children with their homework. I love reading to my kids and taking them to the park and the museum. I love talking to my older daughters about their friends and their crushes and their little heart aches. Being a wife and a mother is truly a great life-- it is truly a great gift from God.

So how do I do it? Well, just like everyone else-- one day at a time. Some days, yesterday in fact, are really hard and really difficult days. I feel like I am being tested with my patience about every 2 minutes. Some of those days, I tolerate the stress very well and feel quite happy with myself at the end of the day. Some of those days, I lose it and yell at my kids and send them all to bed early and unhappy. But most days are pretty good and quite happy days. I like my kids, my kids still like me. My husband and I are good friends and enjoy being around each other and our kids. Most days we work together pretty well as a family.

Another way I "do it," is this is ALL I do. I do not have a job of any sort right now. We chose to be poor to make things easier for me and easier for our children. And poor we are. We can't afford the latest and greatest in cars, bikes, video games, televisions, clothing etc. My kids do not do a lot of music and sports lessons. We do some, but not  more than one thing per child and usually less than that. We don't have the biggest home and all sorts of  organic or frozen foods around. I bake a lot and make 90% of our meals form scratch. We go to the library every week for our books. I buy family passes to local places instead of spending a lot of money on big vacations. When we do vacation, we sleep in a tent in a modern campground. Still, I think we have been very blessed with a nice home that fits our family's needs. We have enough bedroom space, a nice large family room and kitchen where we can spend time together. We are not hungry and we have decent clothing. Mainly we have faith in God. We trust that He gave us these children and that He will help us take care of their needs. This trust has gotten us through some difficult times. God has NEVER failed us. I have always been able to be there to clean my house and to take care of the needs of all of my children. I suspect this will continue to be the case as we continue to take care of our many, precious gifts from God.