Our Happy Thanksgiving

We had a very nice, easy going Thanksgiving this year at John's parents house with  a lot of siblings and cousins. One might think with all of the people and small children, Thanksgiving would have been crazy and loud and messy. But it was not. We fed all of the small children first, put on a movie, and had a nice chance to relax, eat and converse. The clean up didn't even seem so difficult with lots of hands to help. And the amazing part of it all-- no one spilled anything. No food or drink ever met the floor. My lonely, reclusive brother, Seth came and I think he even enjoyed himself somewhat.

We stayed late, arriving home just before 2am. Today, just like Wednesday, we hung around the house playing games, reading and watching movies. This break from school has been a much needed happy relaxing break. It is one of those times where I am very glad I did not schedule us with lots of things to do.

So in celebration of Thanksgiving I would like to list a few things that I am thankful for today.

1. The Pilgrims who suffered and sacrificed much to build a new and free place to worship God as they pleased. What a great foundation for a nation!
2. My nice home with the cozy fireplace and big family room.
3.The fact that we will not have to repair our cars again for a few more months.
4.My big girls who are fun to hang out and chat with.
5.Anya telling me she loves me.
6.The clever way Joseph gets into EVERYTHING
7. The fact that Rachel seems to picking up her alphabet easily and speedily.
8.Johnny hiding out reading all day.
9.The Christmas bat Adam drew for me and hung up beside my bed.
10. A husband who loves and adores me and thinks I am pretty no matter how fat, pregnant, and splotchy I look.
11.My religion that helps me know what is good, and my Savior, Jesus Christ, who lifts me up and supports me in every part of my life.

Our Santa Claus Woes

 

Last year I wrote this post:

Memories of Kate

In January 2003, when Kate was a mere 3 years old (a little younger than Rachel is now), I had a very surprising conversation with her. Ruth, Kate and I were painting pictures at the table. Ruth asked about what she should paint and we started talking about magic. I sang some of an old song "do you believe in magic in a young girls heart" Ruth really liked the idea of magic in her heart, but Kate very solemnly declared, "I do not believe in magic." I asked her why, and she continued, "I do not believe in magic because I can see it in my movies, but I never see it in life. So I think magic is not real." Ruth mentioned that fairies are real and Kate said, "I do not believe in fairies because I cannot see them and they are magic. I do not believe in Santa Claus because he is magic and magic is not real. I do not believe in Heavenly Father because I cannot see Him. But I think Jesus is real because he is in my movies." (I know that her logic is a bit skewed, but she was only 3). I felt rather astonished, and secretly pleased with her three year old reasoning skills. I told her that Heavenly Father and Jesus were indeed real and true, but that she was right about magic not happening in real life. (Ruth disagreed on the no-magic point.) That was the end of things for a while.

The Christmas that Kate was 4, almost a year later, Kate asked if Santa Claus was real. Because I wanted to keep Santa Claus alive a little longer I avoided the question mainly by telling her that she could believe in whatever she wanted to.  I think Kate agonized a little over this answer, but with being at Grandma Pardon's house and all of the goodies and presents, she let the topic go and enjoyed Christmas.

The following year, we had moved to Wichita, and Kate was 5 and in Kindergarten. As it got toward Christmas, Kate started asking me if Santa was real again. The same trick that I tried the year before was clearly not going to satisfy a 5 year old Kate. After a few times of the answer, "you can believe what you want," Kate came to me and stated, "Mom, I need to know the truth. Is Heavenly Father real? Is Jesus real? Is Santa Claus real?" Well, given the introduction I told her the truth. I also told her that other little kids believe in Santa Claus and that is a fun thing so she could not tell other people. But the next day Kate brought Ruth to me. Ruth complained that Kate said Santa was not true. Before I could respond, Kate looked me in the eyes and said, "Mom you have to tell the truth." Now Ruth no longer believed in Santa Claus. Then Kate brought Johnny to me and said the same thing. So Santa Claus was all over for us very early  on.

Not too long after this, John came to me and said he was so glad that we were being honest with our kids and that he was glad not to be lying to them about Santa Claus anymore. I was totally shocked because John's family holds Santa Claus in very high reguard. It turns out that John as a 10 year old fifth grader had an argument with his entire class about Santa Claus. He believed still, and the clincher of his reasoning was, "I know that Santa Claus is real because my mom and dad told me he is, and they do not tell lies." Poor John. I guess he still felt a little upset about this whole thing.

Kate did not stop her crusade. She told her entire kindergarten class that Santa is not real. No one believed her, though. That following summer, John and I were confronted with an angry sister Mary because Kate told her 7 year old cousin, Elizabeth, that Santa was not real. I do not know if Lizzy believed Kate or not. Last year when I said to Adam, "Santa Claus is coming to town." Kate said, "Mom!!! You cannot tell lies. Now tell Adam the truth." I said, "Okay, Adam Santa Claus is just pretend." But for a boy who very thoroughly believes in monsters and talking dogs (Scooby Doo), no Santa Claus did not fly for him. Adam very solemnly declared, "Santa Claus is real and so is SCooby Doo." So that is where we are at. I think Kate has calmed down a bit on her crusade to rid the children of the "Santa Claus lie", and no matter what we tell Adam he believes that Santa Claus, monsters, and Scooby Doo are completely real and true.

Now fast forward to 2010  Kate wrote a letter to St. Nicholas stating, "I am sorry you are dead. What is heaven like?" Kate and Johnny have both had discussions about the historical figure, St. Nicholas. But then talk about how he never had magic and how he has been dead for a very long time.And how the current Santa Claus figure is pretty silly.

Now, Adam has declared that Santa Claus is not real. He knows this is true because Johnny told him. (I guess Johnny is held in high esteem with Adam.) Of course, Adam told Rachel that Santa Claus is not real. Rachel asked me if Santa was real, and I said sure. Adam said, "MOM--UM, Santa is NOT real." I said, Rachel, "Do you think Santa is real?" Rachel said she did. I told her that that was good.

I then had the conversation with Adam about how it is fun for little kids to believe in Santa Claus. I told him NOT to tell his kindergarten class. Of course, being my child, Adam has declared to his kindergarten class, his teacher, the lady at the grocery store and whoever else will listen to him at all, that Santa is not true. Then he will loudly declare that " the truth about Santa Claus is a secret, huh?" (I think we have trouble keeping secrets over here).

Rachel is just confused at this point, and I really doubt she will make it to next Christmas believing in the jolly fat guy. In fact, I expect to be posting in a year from now that Kate, Johnny, Adam, and Rachel have all told their kindergarten classes that Santa Claus is not real. Fortunately, no one believes them.

We put up our Christmas tree yesterday and since we can, we are all still wearing our pajamas. I am thankful for Thanksgiving break :)!

Mother's Heart : Thursday's Post on Motherhood

A lot of people say to me, "I don't know how you do it!" Currently, that is the most popular thing for people who know me and don't know me to say to me. Years ago I used to get the comment, "Your hands are full," almost daily and I had just three children. Sometimes this would bother me so much that I would not leave the house just because I didn't want to hear about my full hands. The comment "your hands are full," has mostly been stated in a derogatory tone. This hurt my feelings because being a mother was exactly what I always wanted to be. In fact, being a mother of many has been my dream since I was a little girl. I still have a few pictures that I drew of my future family. I never had fewer than 10 children in those pictures. Getting married and having children has truly been my dream come true and my happily ever after.

I have many days that I look at my sweet children and think how very blessed I have been to have each precious child. I love to watch my children interact together and learn and discover their world. I love the cute little things my toddlers say. I love helping my older children with their homework. I love reading to my kids and taking them to the park and the museum. I love talking to my older daughters about their friends and their crushes and their little heart aches. Being a wife and a mother is truly a great life-- it is truly a great gift from God.

So how do I do it? Well, just like everyone else-- one day at a time. Some days, yesterday in fact, are really hard and really difficult days. I feel like I am being tested with my patience about every 2 minutes. Some of those days, I tolerate the stress very well and feel quite happy with myself at the end of the day. Some of those days, I lose it and yell at my kids and send them all to bed early and unhappy. But most days are pretty good and quite happy days. I like my kids, my kids still like me. My husband and I are good friends and enjoy being around each other and our kids. Most days we work together pretty well as a family.

Another way I "do it," is this is ALL I do. I do not have a job of any sort right now. We chose to be poor to make things easier for me and easier for our children. And poor we are. We can't afford the latest and greatest in cars, bikes, video games, televisions, clothing etc. My kids do not do a lot of music and sports lessons. We do some, but not  more than one thing per child and usually less than that. We don't have the biggest home and all sorts of  organic or frozen foods around. I bake a lot and make 90% of our meals form scratch. We go to the library every week for our books. I buy family passes to local places instead of spending a lot of money on big vacations. When we do vacation, we sleep in a tent in a modern campground. Still, I think we have been very blessed with a nice home that fits our family's needs. We have enough bedroom space, a nice large family room and kitchen where we can spend time together. We are not hungry and we have decent clothing. Mainly we have faith in God. We trust that He gave us these children and that He will help us take care of their needs. This trust has gotten us through some difficult times. God has NEVER failed us. I have always been able to be there to clean my house and to take care of the needs of all of my children. I suspect this will continue to be the case as we continue to take care of our many, precious gifts from God.

Foot, Hand, and Mouth Disease

This childhood virus has always terrified me. Whenever I have heard that some one's kids have this virus, I stay away for at least 2 weeks. The symptoms are sores in and around the mouth, on the hands, and on the feet. Children also get fevers, sore throats, stomach aches, diahrrea, and loss of appetite.

Around Wednesday or Thursday, I noticed Joseph had a bumpy rash around his mouth. Kids get that sort of rash all the time. I thought maybe he ate something he wasn't suppose to. I knew he hadn't tried any new foods. But, I just didn't worry at all. However, Joseph was very irritable, and wouldn't eat so I began giving him tylenol occasionally. Joseph also was waking up crying at night, which we thought was annoying and maybe he was teething.

On Saturday while I was holding and feeling very frustrated with Joseph who had been crying all day, I noticed that Joseph had bumps all over his fingers. I checked out the rest of him and he had the same bumps on his toes. I noticed they were very similar to ones he had around his mouth for days. I looked a little further and noticed that he had a sore on his tongue too. I checked the internet for childhood rashes and nothing seemed right. later, when I was showing John the odd rash on Joseph, it occurred to me that this must be the dreaded hand, foot, and mouth disease.

We looked it up and sure enough the picture of the toddler with spots around the mouth looked exactly like Joseph. So, we diagnosed our own kid. Doctors can't do anything so the end. He should actually be better in a day or two and it really hasn't been all that dreadful. The worst part has been how cranky Joseph is, but he is cranky whenever he feels the least bit ill. This was certainly easier than a high fever, croupe, stomach flu etc. And, it really only affects small children which means Rachel and Anya are the only other kids likely to have any symptoms.

Adam's Birthday Party

Adam had his first birthday party with friends on Friday. We gave out invitations to every child in his kindergarten class and invited all of the cousins his age. By Thursday evening, we had only heard from 5 kids in his class. I thought the party was going to be pretty small, so I bought things and planned for around 10 kids (just in case some people showed up that did not RSVP). Friday morning, I found out that none of the cousins would be able to attend. I tried to prepare Adam for a small party. Adam insisted that his whole class was coming. I told Adam that only 5 people called, and assured him that it would be small. After school, Adam got in the car and said, everyone is coming except one person. Hmmm... I thought maybe the kids were talking excitedly about the party. Still, I thought if people were coming surely they would RSVP.

About 30 minutes before the party I had several people call and ask for directions to our house. At that point, I knew we would have more than 5 kids. But I still didn't think there would be more than 10.

Ruth, Kate, and Johnny helped me get set up for the birthday party. They each set up and planned a game (Older children are really nice with things like this :>). Ruth filled balloons with gum for a balloon popping game; Kate did a fishing pond with prizes, and Johnny did archery with prizes.

At about 3:45 (15 minutes before the party) we had kids begin to show up. Over the next 20 minutes, more and more kids came. We had to keep adding to our table set up for cupcake decorating, and eventually, we had to move some kids out to make room for others. After moving some kids around, I was really thankful for Ruth, Kate, and Johnny's roles. They started taking groups of kids over to their games, while others decorated cupcakes.

We got everyone through the cupcake decorating and moved onto the games. John and I quickly cleaned up the kitchen and then helped with the games and even did one more as the first group of kids finished all three games.

Then we opened all of the presents, gave out candy and parents came. In all, I think we had between 15 and 20 kids come. Adam loved his party and when it was over declared that this was exactly what he wanted to do next year and the year after. I guess next time I should listen to Adam when he says his whole class is coming and be better prepared. Still, I am glad that Adam had such a big fun party for his very first big birthday party. I am also very grateful for 3 older kids who were excited to help out.

Mother Heart Thursday

This week we had parent teacher conferences at the elementary school for Kate, Johnny, and Adam. They each received the peacemakers award. These awards were given to all of the kids in the school who had not been sent to the principals office during the first three months of the school year. When Kate's teacher handed me the award and explained why she got it, I laughed. I exclaimed that most kids must have gotten that award. To my surprise, that is not the case. (Adam's kindergarten teacher indicated the same thing.)I said that I thought you had to REALLY misbehave to be sent to the principals office. The teacher said that indeed this was still the case. I am stunned! I don't think my kids need to be awarded for being civil in the classroom. In fact, I just expect them to behave especially well in school, but also at home. It is just a requirement for being a part of a family, a classroom, and a society as far as I am concerned.

Our neighborhood has 2 other schools. One is called Wasatch Academy and teaches a little differently than the public school, and the other is Spectrum Academy which is designed for kids that fall into the autism spectrum and other disabilities. There are families who have moved into our neighborhood just for this school. It is a great thing for the students who need specialized classes. As a result, our elementary school does not have many kids with disabilities. The kids that are being sent to the principals office are not the kids with autism or ADHD. They are just kids who don't care enough to behave civilly toward the teacher and the other students.

I honestly do not understand what is happening with so many children. I am writing this in gratitude for my own mother and father and for my husband's mother and father who taught John and I with loving discipline and thus handed down good old fashioned parenting skills. A loving mother and father who care enough to let you face the consequences so you can learn and grow are definitely a treasure. I hope that I can teach my children to be good parents and to hand down a treasured legacy from their grandparents who worked so hard to raise my husband and I.

Family Stories

Little Kid Stories

Anya Versus the Spider

Anya found a little black spider in the hallway outside my bedroom door. She went into my room, grabbed a glass water cup that I had left on my bedside table, and put it over the top of the spider. Then Anya ran into my room, closed the door and declared, "Now, the spider can't get me!"

Snoring

On the weekend mornings, I will let the kids come into bed with John and I if I don't feel like getting up when the kids do. John is always conveniently still asleep. (He never seems to hear the kids?) So Anya and Rachel were laying in bed gabbing sweetly with me when Rachel said, "Dad is like a pig when he sleeps." It took me a minute to process her meaning, but when I figured it out, I laughed a lot and out loud. Anya started to laugh too, and then made fake snoring noises and said, "Dad sounds like a pig!" Those noises actually did wake John up.

Everyone Versus Adam's Spider

Adam took a plastic Halloween spider and put a small amount of the left over fuzz from Halloween spider web onto the spider. Then he put the spider in a dark corner and yelled, "It's an emergency, It's an emergency." Johnny and Ruth went over and stared wide eyed at the big, hairy spider in the corner. John came over to see the problem. At first, John thought it was a real spider. He bent down to look at it a little closer, and then turned on the light to see it even better. John said, "Adam, I think it might be a plastic spider." Adam reached down to touch it. John, not being sure, yelled at Adam to stop. Adam picked the plastic spider up and laughed triumphantly!

Pre-Teen Stories

Ruth

Two weeks ago, Ruth had a bad week. On Monday, Ruth came home from school crying because all of her friends were ignoring her and her friend Lizzy wouldn't talk to her on the bus. Being pregnant and feeling awful for her, I cried too. On Tuesday, Ruth came home crying again. I asked her if things were getting worse with her friends. Ruth said, "No. That is all better now. We are good friends." Feeling a bit stunned, I asked why she was crying then. Ruth explained that the bus driver gave her a warning because she yelled hello out the bus window to her friends. (Ahhh, it is the age, I thought.) On Wednesday, Rachel said, "Do you think Ruth will cry again today?" She did not. But on Thursday night Ruth came home from Young Woman's volley ball crying because she felt like she had not gotten enough play time in during the game.

Kate

Kate and Ruth came down the stairs. Kate was obviously upset. John asked her what was wrong. Kate, in a rather indignant tone declared that Ruth said she was angry when she really wasn't. John then said, "Tell me if I have this right? You are angry because some one asked you if you were angry when you were not angry?"