Thoughtful Thursday: Why the "Not Even Once" Club is Good

As a teen, I had a lot of pressure from my friends and classmates to break the commandments. One of the most difficult times was when my two best friends decided the three of us were going to prove that we were best friends forever by losing our virginity for our new years resolution. I said no. I lost my two best friends. For about six months I really had no friends at all because I had to make the choice between my friends and sin. I am happy with my choice today, but at the time, I was miserable.

I really like this children's book, written by Wendy Watson Nelson, "The Not Even Once Club". This book has a group of friends doing the opposite of what I experienced. They are telling each other that as part of their club they will not sin, not even once.

This book has received a lot of criticism from many people. Many people say that "not even once" is too high of a standard and sets children up to fail. Some say that they know their children are going to make big mistakes because that is just human nature. Many say that this book has an elitist attitude that excludes sinners and that it is unChrist-like. I want to address these criticisms.

1. Too High of a Standard: I do not believe Christ was setting mankind up to fail when in the sermon on the Mount He declared, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." (Matt 5:48). That is a much higher standard than "Not Even Once". And really, given the addictive qualities of drugs and pornography do we really want to teach our children that it is okay if you do it just once?
2. We Know Our Children are Going to Make Big Mistakes: Really? Please don't tell your children that. Have you ever heard of self-fulling prophecies?  Imagine being 13 and being told by your parents that they knew you were going to have problems with the law of chastity or the word of wisdom or pornography. You would probably believe them. Then when the temptations came, you would already believe that you were at some point going to do it anyway. Instead, tell your children that you know they will be tempted, and that you know they are strong enough to resist temptations. Tell them to talk to you about the peer pressure and troubling temptations they are facing. Let them know that temptations do not make them bad. Even the Savior was tempted. Our children are not destined for big sin. They are destined to be who they choose to be and who we help them to become.
3. Elitist attitude that excludes sinners and  is unChrist-like: With the media telling our children sin is fun, our children's friends telling our children sin is fun, and curriculum in schools telling our children sin is good and respectful, why parents would not think it is desirable for a group kids to pressure each other to choose the right is beyond my comprehension. If our children are choosing the right, they will be excluded and made fun of by the majority that believes that sin is fun and good and normal. And it will hurt them and if they do not have enough support, they may give in. Who doesn't want to fit in and be popular? Remaining chaste and keeping the word of wisdom is not the popular choice.
   
   It is not unChrist-like for friend's to encourage each other to resist temptation. Christ encouraged everyone to resist temptation, to repent, and to "go and sin no more". As a parent, I would not feel bad excluding a child from my child's club if that child intended to introduce the children to some pornography, a violent video game, cigarettes, or any kind of sin. That is called protecting your children.
   
   In the gospel, the Savior expects us to meet certain standards to get baptized (be a member of the elitist club called the "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints"), to get a temple recommend, to get married in the temple, and more. Christ holds everyone to certain standards in order for them to be a part of exaltation. And Christ is Christ-like.