Monday, June 7, 2010

Change = Challenge

So, there have been a few things in my life that I think I am just great at and then something in my life changes and I realize that no, I actually stink. This has happened recently. But first, I will have to tell of a time long ago. Back in the college days and early marriage, I thought I did not have a temper. I never got angry. I never yelled. If some one disagreed with me, I didn't argue back (I just thought they were stupid ;)). Then, Ruth turned 2, and BAM!! Ruth followed another family out of the library onto a busy road and the next thing I knew we were in the car heading home and I was yelling. I was down right angry with my little 2 year old. So, I found out that I did indeed have a temper. I am still working on this one. Hopefully, but not likely, I will get this one fixed in 10 more  months before I have a teenager. Now, fast forward 9+ years. At this point in time, I think I do a really good job at being nice to people who are not nice to me. I think that I am a really good neighbor and friend. I don't gossip. I cut down the bothersome tree. I make brownies for the neighbor that gets mad when my kid crashes her bike into their car. I never say anything grumpy to the condescending doctor. I don't get upset when my friends kid dumps out all of our toys and pees in them. I think I am pretty good. I think being of one heart and one mind isn't so hard. Then we move out near family, and spend a lot of time in other people's business and other people spend a lot of time in our business and suddenly, I gossip a little here and there, about people I care way more about than the grumpy neighbor. Someone says something to me that hurts my feelings and I am upset for several days. I want to say mean things back or not talk to them anymore or all of these ridiculous feelings I had never had before. Suddenly, I realize that I have a problem that I thought I didn't. So, now, like my temper, I have reached a new challenge in life. I need to learn to that if I hear intimate details about people I absolutely cannot gossip or judge that person. I think just walking away from conversations like that is a pretty good idea too. I need to learn to not be angry when I find out that other people have been gossiping about me. I need to shut up and not respond when people are saying things to me that hurt my feelings. I am determined to do better. And of course, I need to not judge people when they gossip or say something mean to someone else. I really do believe in Zion. I really do think we can live next door to people, family, and anyone else, and get along perfectly. I want it to be like that in my home, and I want it to be like that with our extended families and neighbors too.

4 comments:

rozanny said...

You know what's funny about this? I want to ask what happened... but I know if I do then it would be counterproductive in the gossip/anger arena! Isn't that ironic?

Handsfullmom said...

I didn't have a temper either, until I had two kids. Then one day, Lillian reached over and pulled hard on Joey's hair and I lost it.

LeAnn said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I like you didn't think I had a temper until I had children. I had six children and their were plenty of tense moments. I didn't like Mother's day because I thought I wasn't a good mother. I then found out that all my friends felt the same way. Now that my children are raised; I have 30 grandchildren and I can say that I am finally more patience than I was before. I assure you that your friends are struggling with the same things.
Your goals are all of our goals; to be more Zion like. Change is good. I just kept working on my struggles and I have made some progress but it won't happen over nigh so enjoy the moments and know that you are awesome.
Blessings and hugs to you! LeAnn

Bethany said...

I'm with you. I think that it is hard but very possible. Just follow the spirit.