General Conference Talk Summary: Robert D. Hales

Robert D. Hales: Our Duty to God: The Mission of Parents and Leaders to the Rising Generation

• "For all of us, doing our duty to God as parents and leaders begins with leading by example—consistently and diligently living gospel principles at home. This takes daily determination and diligence."
• "It is impossible to overestimate the influence of parents who understand the hearts of their children."
• "For our interactions with youth to truly touch their hearts, we have to pay attention to them just as we would pay attention to a trusted adult colleague or close friend. Most important is asking them questions, letting them talk, and then being willing to listen."
• "Mother, Father, are you in there? Grandpa, Grandma, are you there? Being there means understanding the hearts of our youth and connecting with them. And connecting with them means not just conversing with them but doing things with them too."
• "The greatest missionary work we will ever do will be in our homes. Our homes, quorums, and classes are part of the mission field. Our children and grandchildren are our most important investigators."
• "The greatest faith we have will be within our homes as we remain strong in the trials and tribulations of parenthood. To a small group of mothers, President Monson recently said, “Sometimes we are too quick to judge the effect of our successes and failures.” May I add, don’t look at today’s trials as eternal. Heavenly Father does His work in the long term. “There is much which lieth in futurity,” the Prophet Joseph Smith said. “Therefore, . . . let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed” (D&C 123:15, 17)."

My favorite part of this talk is the "are you there?"  For years, I thought that when my youngest child entered first grade, I would go back to college and get that coveted bachelor's degree that I chose to put off after I got pregnant with Ruth. Then about 2 years ago I realized that if I did that, then I would not be there for my children, and I wouldn't be there for them at a time when I would be needed even more than when they were babies. I knew that I could not keep a nice home, make dinners, help my kids with their school work, know what they are doing, and just be there to talk and to be a friend, plus attend classes, complete homework assignments, and study for and take exams. I gave up that dream 100% that day. How tragic would it be if I was busy getting good grades and being smart while not making sure my children were busy getting good grades, and more importantly, gaining strong testimonies. I want to be there. I want to know their friends. I want to know what they are thinking and feeling, and to do this, I will give up what I have to. Some days that means sleep. It means nice clothing, and sometimes it means dreams. But, I think I am a way better learner now than when I was working for that degree. Heavenly Father does have a way of taking care of parents and children.