Top 10 Parenting Experiences

The Gross Top Ten

Here are our 10 most disgusting experiences with our children so far. Of course they are mostly related to the bathroom in some way.

10. The park across the street from our house in Wichita would flood whenever we had a big storm. All of the kids in the neighborhood would put on their swimsuits and go swim under the play structure. One time when we got there a girl pulled Ruth aside and said, "You don't even have to go home when you have to pee."

9. When Rachel was around 18 months she loaded everything from our bathroom trash can into the toilet. Of course we had to take everything out by hand.

8.When I was potty training Adam, he pooped his pants while he has playing outside, took it out of his underwear and smeared it onto the side of the house.

7.When Kate was 4 she shoved a chocolate icecream cone behind Johnny's car seat  and we didn't find it until we were giving some one else a ride. I should also put in the dried up cheese burger. The escaped frozen concentrate orange juice and the tray of raw pork that Ruth was suppose to take out of the car when I came home with a lot of groceries.

6.When Johnny was just a few months old a man at church asked to hold him. After I had passed him over, I noticed that his diaper had leaked poop all over my skirt. The man looked down and had poop all over his tie and shirt. I  think we all went straight home after that.

5.The summer Ruth was 6 we lived in apartments with an indoor and an outdoor pool. We told all three of our children that they had to tell us when they had to go to the bathroom and we would take them. Ruth apparently realized she could pee in the pool, not have to get out, and no one would know the difference. I think this worked well for her until she tried pooping in the swimming pool. We didn't notice it until the bath with the floaty brown pieces after swimming. We asked where the poop came from. Ruth denied it again and again, even though it was up and down her legs and in her swimsuit. She swore it must be Johnny.  Johnny put the poop in her swimsuit some how. Of course we checked the pool and there was a log of poop sitting on the edge of the pool. That was an embarassing phone call to the maintenance guy!

4.When Johnny was 5 and before we got him an inhaler, he would catch colds that would last a good month. Whenever he ran around with these colds he would really start to cough and often he would cough until he vomited. After about 2 times of him puking from coughing, I would carry him to his bed, hand him a bucket and tell him he had to cough into the bucket in case he puked. On one of these occasions, I said, "Try and calm down. Here is a bucket in case you puke, but just don't puke. That would be better." Johnny took me too seriously! He did puke and then stuck the puke back in his mouth because he was afraid he would get in trouble. I have really tried harder to have more compassion with my sick children since then. Poor kid.

3.Ruth always gets the prize for the worst vomit messes!! Once she puked down the side of her bed. We had to clean her bed, the floor, the boxspring, and the bedframe-- not to mention the sink when she went and washed her hands. Another time, she tried to turn the light on while she barfed all over the top of the toilet, the floor, the wall, the toilet paper holder, the trash can, the bathmat, and the bathtub.

2.Anya stuck a face cloth into a flushed toilet that still had poop streaks and then sucked on the face cloth before we discovered her.

1.Rachel at around 18months played in a toilet that some other kid had pooped in and forgotten to flush. (It took a while before we had friends over again after that one.)

Top Ten Sweet Experiences

There are a ton of these. Here are ten that come to mind right now. I think I have them in order of memory fondness, but there is no true 10 to 1 order.

10.Rachel rolled up her sleeve in church and asked Johnny if he would lightly scratch her. (She means rub or tickle, but she always says scratch). Johnny did and then he did so for everyone else in the family that day.

9.Kate rescued a bird from the cats mouth and tried to heal it. But it died. She also tried to save sevral mice from the cats.

8.At around 18 months Rachel was asked to say the food prayer at breakfast. She would only say, "Bless babies."

7.Johnny wrote a song about all of the nice things he likes about his mom and dad. Then he sang it to us.

6.When Rachel was born, Adam at 17months just adored Rachel. He would very gently hold her, hum to her and rub her gently when she cried. We were just amazed at how gentle and sweet Adam was with Baby Rachel.

5.When Kate was 3 we asked her what she wanted Santa Claus to bring her for Christmas. She said, "Could I have my true love?"

4. When I was pretty angry with Adam and Rachel for some serious toddler mess, Ruth, Kate, and Johnny started singing "I Like to Look For Rainbows" to make our house feel happy again.

3.Recently when I had been very busy all day, Ruth saw me start to clear out the dish washer, she came over and said that she would do it and she just did. She didn't even seem to except anything in return.

2.One night recently, Anya had crawled out of bed and could not climb back in. When she got tired she layed down on the floor to go to sleep. When we went to check on Anya and Rachel, Rachel was laying next to Anya, rubbing her back and singing softly to her.

1.When Ruth was three, I saw her walk out of our front door, and look at a group of birds eating some bird seed we had put out. She started creeping carefully toward them and said, "Don't be scared, Birdies. It is just me, Ruthy."