Saturday, July 31, 2010
Very Real Troubles
On Wednesday night, John and I decided since Kate is 11 next month, and if we leave just around bedtime it would be okay to leave Kate with the kids while we went to the Temple. We instructed Kate to put the 3 youngest kids to bed about 10 minutes after we left. Kate did not. Anya and Rachel went out the back door. Earlier that day, one of the kids had opened the gate and did not close it back. Anya ran off. When Kate realized Anya was missing she started running down the street calling for her. A couple of neighbors came to help. But they could not find Anya. A Bishopric member decided to search our house and found Anya asleep on the couch upstairs. She had come home unnoticed while everyone was looking for her. The primary president, who was helping to look for Anya called the police. No one, not even an adult thought to call the Temple to get John and I. So we came home, and Kate told us the story. We had to call the police. The police came over and said they get calls about runaway 2 year olds all of the time. But then he said that while he thought Kate was very mature, we have too many kids. He even said he did not think a 12 or 13 year old could babysit here. Utah does not have a law about how old you can leave your kids. But, because this police officer thought we have too many children he said that he was going to write a report. That report, like all incident with children reports will be forwarded to social services. Of course, we all feel devastated. Probably nothing will come of this. We will probably not even here from social services. But this is hard to deal with. We are not abusive or neglectful with our children. We did not leave our children to go out to a party or anything. We did not even leave our children to run errands. We left to serve the Lord and to to do the work of our ancestors. There are so many things that could have been different. If the primary president waited for the house to be checked, or called us first thing...if Kate had put the kids to bed like she had been told to do...if the gate had not been left open...but here we are, and this is a very real tragedy.
Last night, I went with Kate, and my sister in law, Becca to go to my mother in laws house to secretly clean her home while she is in AZ for her birthday. All was going well. We were having fun cleaning together and chatting. Then when I was cleaning the master bath tub, and went to grab the hose shower head to rinse the tub, the plastic piece that holds up the shower broke. So I had to replace that. I went to Wal-mart, picked up a new hose shower head ans when back to install it. This one did not fit. So I borrowed Becca's key to the house, went back to Wal-mart returned the one that would not work and purchased a different one. we went back to the house and installed the second style easily. We then had to go to Becca's house to return her key. He started back home at about 12:30am. But, we were not on the highway long before we were in a major traffic jam. It took us 30 to 40 minutes to go about 3 miles. Not too far after we got out of the traffic jam the "service engine soon" light flicked on. I felt rather panicky. We were still a good 35 to 40 minutes from home. I kept going until I got to an exit with an open late gas station. I pulled in, checked the oil and the coolant, which, I think were both low, but I am no car person. So I bought oil and coolant and added those to the car. The engine light was still on, so Kate and I said a prayer and headed for home. (Oh, and we did not have a cell phone, because one of our children took the charging cord and we cannot find it and do not have money for a new one until payday.) I certainly felt nervous, but we did make it back here. However, as we were getting close to home we got stopped at a railway crossing by a very long train. About the time Kate counted the 96th car, the train just stopped. We had to turn around and find another way through the track. We got home at 2:20am. I logged onto the bank to move money from our savings to our checking to cover the shower head, the coolant, and the oil. We thankfully get paid on Monday. But we also have no car until we get this car fixed. The van we were going to buy, sold the morning, I called about purchasing it. We are looking at a different van that may or may not be sold on Tuesday. Indeed, I feel tired and troubled. But at least I can say, I have been trying to do good things.
Last night, I went with Kate, and my sister in law, Becca to go to my mother in laws house to secretly clean her home while she is in AZ for her birthday. All was going well. We were having fun cleaning together and chatting. Then when I was cleaning the master bath tub, and went to grab the hose shower head to rinse the tub, the plastic piece that holds up the shower broke. So I had to replace that. I went to Wal-mart, picked up a new hose shower head ans when back to install it. This one did not fit. So I borrowed Becca's key to the house, went back to Wal-mart returned the one that would not work and purchased a different one. we went back to the house and installed the second style easily. We then had to go to Becca's house to return her key. He started back home at about 12:30am. But, we were not on the highway long before we were in a major traffic jam. It took us 30 to 40 minutes to go about 3 miles. Not too far after we got out of the traffic jam the "service engine soon" light flicked on. I felt rather panicky. We were still a good 35 to 40 minutes from home. I kept going until I got to an exit with an open late gas station. I pulled in, checked the oil and the coolant, which, I think were both low, but I am no car person. So I bought oil and coolant and added those to the car. The engine light was still on, so Kate and I said a prayer and headed for home. (Oh, and we did not have a cell phone, because one of our children took the charging cord and we cannot find it and do not have money for a new one until payday.) I certainly felt nervous, but we did make it back here. However, as we were getting close to home we got stopped at a railway crossing by a very long train. About the time Kate counted the 96th car, the train just stopped. We had to turn around and find another way through the track. We got home at 2:20am. I logged onto the bank to move money from our savings to our checking to cover the shower head, the coolant, and the oil. We thankfully get paid on Monday. But we also have no car until we get this car fixed. The van we were going to buy, sold the morning, I called about purchasing it. We are looking at a different van that may or may not be sold on Tuesday. Indeed, I feel tired and troubled. But at least I can say, I have been trying to do good things.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Is It hard Being a Mom
My blog friend and new in person friend Christina, wrote this blog about the pioneers life verses our life. You can read it here. She has 8 children and is 2 years younger than I am. She mentioned how people are either unhappy with her family or they think she is a super-woman. She rejects the idea of being a super-woman. I get a lot of the same and I too, really reject the idea of being a super-woman. I know that I am definitely NOT! But this got me thinking about how most people just view my life as really hard. I have a lot of people say, "I could never do that. It is hard." or even as presumptuous as, "I am sorry things are so hard for you," when I have never even said things are hard. So, after pondering this some, I wanted to write my thoughts on motherhood and a hard life.
I do not think I have a hard life at all. Like all people I have bad days and since I have 7 children a lot of those bad days begin with a grumpy child. But most of my days are very pleasant. Most days, I have fun with my kids; I clean a lot; I cook a lot; I do a lot of laundry, and I go to bed happy and satisfied. In fact, I typically think of myself as having a rather charmed life.
I married my best friend and he is still my best friend. At every moment of every day I know that I have a husband that loves me with his whole heart; I know that my kids have a father who cares for them and their well being more than anything else. Life is good, not hard. My kids are good. They love me and they look to me for love and acceptance. I am their teacher and their leader and the most important person in their lives. I care for them deeply, and that alone turns the work from drudgery into joy.
I really don't feel like I have given anything up to have my children. I have postponed things. I am 34, so I have not lived half my life. My kids will be all raised in 20 to 25 years, but the amount of time and physical labor I will put into them will be greatly reduced in about 8 to 10 years depending on how many more children I have. So from 55 to around 85, I will have lots and lots of time to learn and to serve other people, and I can actually begin that season in part when I am around 40 to 45. In the end, I will have spent less than half my life raising my children. Yes, I have given up a prestigious career, if I ever would have been good enough to be prestigious. I do not think having a career would be worth giving up all of the love I get from all of my children and all of my future posterity.
I feel certain that family is the better choice. When I was 20 and was the top student in many of my classes, I was not happy. Being number one actually wasn't that great. I had some good friends, but I was lonely. I didn't like wondering if this guy or that guy liked me or would ask me out, or liked some one better, or if I was pretty enough or good enough for so and so. When I met and married John, my life fell into place.
Certainly things can be really hard in family life. It was really hard last winter when John did not have a job and the home we were renting was being foreclosed on. That was hard. I would not want to do it again. But I would rather do it again then not have my wonderful big family. There are days when I have 5 whiney, crying, grumpy kids, and I am pulling my hair out in frustration. There are days when the amount of mess and fluid these children put out drives me insane. But all of that passes, and if I handle it well, I end up with a happy family at the end of the day. Some days I do not handle it well, but we all have been given the opportunity to say, "I am sorry," and I end up with a happy family the next day.
So do I think being a mother is hard? Well, I think that being a mother with a husband who does not support you, or being a single mother would be very hard but not worthless. The work would still be rewarding and the love from your children would still be satisfying. I definitely do not think that being a mother with a kind and loving husband is hard at all. I think it is joyous and wonderful. I have been very blessed to be a mother alongside a father who cares for me and our children very deeply. I think a happy family either big or small is the most wonderful thing God has offered His children.
I do not think I have a hard life at all. Like all people I have bad days and since I have 7 children a lot of those bad days begin with a grumpy child. But most of my days are very pleasant. Most days, I have fun with my kids; I clean a lot; I cook a lot; I do a lot of laundry, and I go to bed happy and satisfied. In fact, I typically think of myself as having a rather charmed life.
I married my best friend and he is still my best friend. At every moment of every day I know that I have a husband that loves me with his whole heart; I know that my kids have a father who cares for them and their well being more than anything else. Life is good, not hard. My kids are good. They love me and they look to me for love and acceptance. I am their teacher and their leader and the most important person in their lives. I care for them deeply, and that alone turns the work from drudgery into joy.
I really don't feel like I have given anything up to have my children. I have postponed things. I am 34, so I have not lived half my life. My kids will be all raised in 20 to 25 years, but the amount of time and physical labor I will put into them will be greatly reduced in about 8 to 10 years depending on how many more children I have. So from 55 to around 85, I will have lots and lots of time to learn and to serve other people, and I can actually begin that season in part when I am around 40 to 45. In the end, I will have spent less than half my life raising my children. Yes, I have given up a prestigious career, if I ever would have been good enough to be prestigious. I do not think having a career would be worth giving up all of the love I get from all of my children and all of my future posterity.
I feel certain that family is the better choice. When I was 20 and was the top student in many of my classes, I was not happy. Being number one actually wasn't that great. I had some good friends, but I was lonely. I didn't like wondering if this guy or that guy liked me or would ask me out, or liked some one better, or if I was pretty enough or good enough for so and so. When I met and married John, my life fell into place.
Certainly things can be really hard in family life. It was really hard last winter when John did not have a job and the home we were renting was being foreclosed on. That was hard. I would not want to do it again. But I would rather do it again then not have my wonderful big family. There are days when I have 5 whiney, crying, grumpy kids, and I am pulling my hair out in frustration. There are days when the amount of mess and fluid these children put out drives me insane. But all of that passes, and if I handle it well, I end up with a happy family at the end of the day. Some days I do not handle it well, but we all have been given the opportunity to say, "I am sorry," and I end up with a happy family the next day.
So do I think being a mother is hard? Well, I think that being a mother with a husband who does not support you, or being a single mother would be very hard but not worthless. The work would still be rewarding and the love from your children would still be satisfying. I definitely do not think that being a mother with a kind and loving husband is hard at all. I think it is joyous and wonderful. I have been very blessed to be a mother alongside a father who cares for me and our children very deeply. I think a happy family either big or small is the most wonderful thing God has offered His children.
Some News
I sent Ruth off to girls camp early this morning. I can't believe I have a child old enough to go. She is quite excited, and I think she will have a grand time. There are a couple of girls that Ruth is very good friends with. Our neighbor, Bonnie who is as sweet as can be and her best friend and upcoming locker-mate, Lizzy who is in our stake. I think she is excited to be spending the next several days with both girls. I am excited for her too. I loved girls camp. I always had a ton of fun and I made some pretty good friends there too. It is neat to be sending my first child off to something I found so fun so long ago.
We got a new little girl kitten (I will post pictures when Ruth comes home with the camera.) She is a cute, sweet little baby and we plan to let her have kittens on the basis that everyone, including John, understand that we will not keep any of the kittens ever. If this becomes a war, I will get her spayed. Otherwise, we thought this would be a nice way to have baby kitties around a couple of times a year. Our cat, Boy, whom we all love and adore is having a bit of a crisis since the new Kitty came home. He has hissed at the kids, which he never does, and now yesterday he left us, one whole rabbit, one gutted headless rabbit and two gutted mice. Thanks, cat. We think you're great even with out the presents. (One rabbit was black, and the other white. I hope they were not some one's pets.)
John has finally decided on a van to buy. Now, he just has to do the work of buying it-- going there, settling on a price, getting a loan, and he will want a mechanic to look at it. So hopefully, it will still be for sale by the time he bothers to do all of this stuff. I wonder how long it will take me to get him over there? John always feel like this sort of thing is am unpleasant waste of his time, and he is not excited about getting a new van.
We got a new little girl kitten (I will post pictures when Ruth comes home with the camera.) She is a cute, sweet little baby and we plan to let her have kittens on the basis that everyone, including John, understand that we will not keep any of the kittens ever. If this becomes a war, I will get her spayed. Otherwise, we thought this would be a nice way to have baby kitties around a couple of times a year. Our cat, Boy, whom we all love and adore is having a bit of a crisis since the new Kitty came home. He has hissed at the kids, which he never does, and now yesterday he left us, one whole rabbit, one gutted headless rabbit and two gutted mice. Thanks, cat. We think you're great even with out the presents. (One rabbit was black, and the other white. I hope they were not some one's pets.)
John has finally decided on a van to buy. Now, he just has to do the work of buying it-- going there, settling on a price, getting a loan, and he will want a mechanic to look at it. So hopefully, it will still be for sale by the time he bothers to do all of this stuff. I wonder how long it will take me to get him over there? John always feel like this sort of thing is am unpleasant waste of his time, and he is not excited about getting a new van.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Joseph Turns 1
One Year Ago
Now
And he is still just as sweet
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE JOSEPH
We are glad to have you.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Adam and Rachel's Fight and Anya's Prayer
Adam and Rachel's Fight
Rachel setting up all of her toys
Rachel (yelling): Stop it Adam.
Dad: Adam, what are you doing?
Adam: just bowling.
Dad: Adam are you knocking down Rachel's toys?
Adam (casually): That is part of the game.
Anya's Prayer
Mom: Anya, say Heavenly Father
Anya: Fadder, amen
Mom: no. Say thank thee for Jesus
Anya: tank. Jesus amen.
Mom: thank thee for dad
Anya: dad, amen
Mom: thank thee for icecream and birthdays
Anya: days amen
Mom: in the name of Jesus Christ
Anya: Jesus, I'm done.
Rachel setting up all of her toys
Rachel (yelling): Stop it Adam.
Dad: Adam, what are you doing?
Adam: just bowling.
Dad: Adam are you knocking down Rachel's toys?
Adam (casually): That is part of the game.
Anya's Prayer
Mom: Anya, say Heavenly Father
Anya: Fadder, amen
Mom: no. Say thank thee for Jesus
Anya: tank. Jesus amen.
Mom: thank thee for dad
Anya: dad, amen
Mom: thank thee for icecream and birthdays
Anya: days amen
Mom: in the name of Jesus Christ
Anya: Jesus, I'm done.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Liberty Park
Liberty Park is a huge park in downtown Salt Lake City. It has some great play structures, a sprinkler and this really amazing splash pad that was designed after the canyon rivers. I had heard a lot about it from people around here. So, I put it on our list of must do summer field trips. Yesterday was the Liberty Park day. Before yesterday, I had three of my sister in laws and my mother in law show some interest in coming along on our field trips, so on Monday, I wrote up a schedule and emailed it out. Much to my surprise, they all wanted to, and could come.
We got to the park first, and played at the river canyon part. It is a really hard place to keep track of all of my little kids, so I gave them strict instructions on partners. Adam and Johnny were to stay together, Ruth, Kate, and Rachel were to stay together and I kept a close eye on Anya and Joseph. So, knowing that it is a lot less likely for my kids to misbehave in partners, and a lot less likely for someone to grab two kids together, I let them go and explore all of the water falls and such.
I wore my swimsuit, and I think I was about the only mother who did. At first I felt a little embarrassed to be the only one, but after looking around, I was really glad to be a mom splashing with my kids in the water rather than a mom sitting on the side sweating.
After an hour, we went to the playground/sprinkler part to have lunch. There we met up with 3 of my sister in laws, their kids and Uncle Jay. We all ate lunch together. Then headed back to the canyon river part. When we got back, the amount of people there tripled. It would be a lot harder to keep track of the kids. I made sure all of my kids had their firm partners. Then we went back to playing, exploring and splashing. Joseph and his cousin, who is three days older, played rather cutely in a shallow river stream. Not too long after, Grandma arrived with another sister in law. Grandma and sister in law, Amy, noticed a creepy guy, pull a bike into the bushes and sit down to watch the at least 150 children playing there. Grandma had Jay go and keep an eye on him. That, is just plain old creepy to have a man hide out in the bushes watching children. Because of this, we decided to wind things down a little early and Grandma said she'd take all of the kids out to ice cream. that is good, because the offer of ice cream made it a LOT easier to round up the kids. plus, I had brought a couple bags of candy just for the same purpose. As we were gathering our large group a policeman came up, and the creepy guy in the bushes rode off on his bike. (I am not sure what the creepy guy had planned with a bike as get away?) Grandma told the policeman about the guy in the bushes and he told her that he had come for that reason (another parent had called.) He also said it is not against the law to sit in a bush and watch children play. So unless the guy actually did anything illegal the policeman could do nothing.
We still left and went to the nearby Artic Circle for ice cream. When we got there, a guy, obviously, an employee was outside on a cell phone. Jay said that looked a lot like the guy he was watching at the park. How weird!!!
The kids enjoyed their ice cream and especially their ice cream with all of their cousins. Ruth, Kate, and Johnny, being the oldest Utah cousins acted as cute little helpers and servers. I had fun just gabbing with everyone. Having friends and family was a lot funner than just us.
I got some pictures in Artic Circle, but since I was mostly holding Joseph or Anya and watching kids at the park, I did not get park pictures. I will have to get John to come with us some time soon. Creepy guy and all, we will be back.
We got to the park first, and played at the river canyon part. It is a really hard place to keep track of all of my little kids, so I gave them strict instructions on partners. Adam and Johnny were to stay together, Ruth, Kate, and Rachel were to stay together and I kept a close eye on Anya and Joseph. So, knowing that it is a lot less likely for my kids to misbehave in partners, and a lot less likely for someone to grab two kids together, I let them go and explore all of the water falls and such.
I wore my swimsuit, and I think I was about the only mother who did. At first I felt a little embarrassed to be the only one, but after looking around, I was really glad to be a mom splashing with my kids in the water rather than a mom sitting on the side sweating.
After an hour, we went to the playground/sprinkler part to have lunch. There we met up with 3 of my sister in laws, their kids and Uncle Jay. We all ate lunch together. Then headed back to the canyon river part. When we got back, the amount of people there tripled. It would be a lot harder to keep track of the kids. I made sure all of my kids had their firm partners. Then we went back to playing, exploring and splashing. Joseph and his cousin, who is three days older, played rather cutely in a shallow river stream. Not too long after, Grandma arrived with another sister in law. Grandma and sister in law, Amy, noticed a creepy guy, pull a bike into the bushes and sit down to watch the at least 150 children playing there. Grandma had Jay go and keep an eye on him. That, is just plain old creepy to have a man hide out in the bushes watching children. Because of this, we decided to wind things down a little early and Grandma said she'd take all of the kids out to ice cream. that is good, because the offer of ice cream made it a LOT easier to round up the kids. plus, I had brought a couple bags of candy just for the same purpose. As we were gathering our large group a policeman came up, and the creepy guy in the bushes rode off on his bike. (I am not sure what the creepy guy had planned with a bike as get away?) Grandma told the policeman about the guy in the bushes and he told her that he had come for that reason (another parent had called.) He also said it is not against the law to sit in a bush and watch children play. So unless the guy actually did anything illegal the policeman could do nothing.
We still left and went to the nearby Artic Circle for ice cream. When we got there, a guy, obviously, an employee was outside on a cell phone. Jay said that looked a lot like the guy he was watching at the park. How weird!!!
The kids enjoyed their ice cream and especially their ice cream with all of their cousins. Ruth, Kate, and Johnny, being the oldest Utah cousins acted as cute little helpers and servers. I had fun just gabbing with everyone. Having friends and family was a lot funner than just us.
I got some pictures in Artic Circle, but since I was mostly holding Joseph or Anya and watching kids at the park, I did not get park pictures. I will have to get John to come with us some time soon. Creepy guy and all, we will be back.
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