What is Most Necessary

I woke up Easter morning tired and grumpy. I spent all day Easter feeling tired and grumpy. I still did all of the Easter stuff-- lessons on the Resurrection, big dinner, visiting with family etc. I went to bed late still feeling tired and grumpy.

I woke up Monday morning tired and grumpy. The kids woke up grumpy and quarrelsome. We had a grumpy day, but I did everything-- school, the ridiculous amount of running around I have to do on Mondays, I cooked a good dinner, and I even gave a really good family home evening lesson. I went to bed quite late still feeling grumpy.

I woke Tuesday morning, the day we did the candy egg hunt with filled Easter baskets for the kids, feeling even more grumpy. The candy mess alone made me a mad woman. John, who decided to work from home on Tuesday, had General Conference playing most of the day. (I knew it was just for me). Near the end of the day, John, my amazingly patient husband, asked me what the heck my problem was. I knew. Oh boy, did I know. I hadn't gotten in a serious scripture study in, well in...days...at least.

When I had my first baby, 14 lovely years ago, I decided that I needed three things to be a good mom.

1. Daily scripture study.
2. Daily Shower
3. Some kind of frequent exercise

Doing all of those regularly over the last 14 years has kept me sane. Unless I don't do them. Then I am not sane and nice and good and certainly not kind. And definitely NOT A GOOD MOM!

Tuesday night before bed, I read and studied the scriptures. I woke up Wednesday tired still, yes, but happy. And really glad not to have every little thing bother me. Few! I am glad that I was granted a bit of wisdom as a 22 year old, new mother.

My Sister, The Writer

My sister Monika, just signed a two year contract to work with Anchor Group Publishing. She rewrote the story of Goldie Locks and the Three Bears into a Young Adult Novel. They are expecting to have it on the market by July!

I am soooooooo excited for my sister. This is the second novel she has written, but the first to be accepted for publication. I read her first attempt, and even though it wasn't my typical genre, I thought it was really well written and intriguing. I can't wait to buy and read her new book.

 Monika started this current book about 6 months after her divorce. She was hoping to use writing as a way to support her two children, one with severe autism.  She really deserves this break. I can't even express how happy and proud I am of my baby sister.

Good Job, Monika! I love you and I am glad you are my sister.

I Can't Believe It!!!

Just a couple days after I wrote the previous post about CPS and neighbors being out of control with allowing kids to play and become responsible, I ran into this. A father left his 6 and 9 year old at a park while he showered and ran some errands. A freaked out lady, without even talking to the kids, called the police. The father was sited with two counts of child endangerment, and CPS, of course, is investigating the family. This is just so ridiculous to me. Since when is it a crime for kids to play at a park without a parent? I let my kids go to the two parks near our house as much as they want to. They only rule I have about it is the kids 6 and under have to be accompanied by an older child. But, I would let the 6 year and 4 year old go with the seven year old. In my opinion, the noisy neighbor should be sited for busying the police without a cause.

I wanted to add some comments about this story from the Free Range Kids blog site. I think I am absolutely right in saying that parents are more afraid of CPS then having their children kidnapped or injured.

Michelle said: This is very disturbing to me! My kids (5, 7, 8, 10, 13, and 14) walk to and play in our local park without me nearly every day. The only restriction I’ve placed on them is that the 5yo has to have an older sibling with her. I would have absolutely NO PROBLEM with my 5yo and 7yo playing alone at the park all day long if they wanted to. They’ll come home when they’re hungry!

Tairgire said:  This is what makes me scared of letting my kids play alone in the park. I’m not worried about “stranger danger” or any of that. I’m worried about some busybody getting het up and calling CPS and losing my kids for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Amy O said:    I completely agree with Taigire. I’m much more scared of the judgment of my neighbors and the police about allowing my daughter freedoms than I am of any imagined dangers she may face.

B said: It is a sad statement on our society that more of us (me included) are afraid of CPS than we are of kidnappers. I WANT my kids to be able to play by themselves. I want to be able to run into a store and leave my two kids in a running, air-conditioned car. I want my kids to grow into independent adults, not sniveling brats. We’ve given the power to these red-tape mongers, “for the sake of the children!” Or at least that’s what they trumpeted when they wrote the law. But we’ve provided perverse incentives for CPS to do what is often the worst thing that they could.

Victoria said: Echoing the comments that my biggest worry about my child playing alone outside is not kidnappers, injury, or her becoming the victim of a crime — it’s someone calling CPS and tearing my family apart.

A Parents Biggest Fear

I was talking to a group of home schooling mothers at the park the other day. We talked about various things, and one thing that came up was CPS (Child Protection Services). Everyone had something to say about that.

One mother said: My 9 year daughter wants to ride her bike the half mile to 7-eleven to buy a soda. I know she can do it and would be just fine, but what if some neighbor saw her and didn't approve.

Another mother said: When we lived in MD, I didn't dare let my kids out of the house because some one might call CPS for them playing ball on our quiet street.

Another woman told about how police tapped on her car window to wake her husband up while he slept in the car with their baby. She was in a store.

My friend in Kansas had a neighbor call the police on her because her 6 children ages 1 to 12 were playing in their front yard without a parent.

I had another friend that had CPS called on her because her baby leaked her diaper just as she got to the gym, so she sent the baby to the daycare facility at the gym in a clean onesie-- she didn't have a full change of clothes on hand.

I read a recent case about a mother on trial for leaving two of her children in a car for a couple of minutes on a winter day while she went into a store. 

Now, I know that CPS has a place. I worked with children with disabilities and many of these disabilities were the result of parental abuse and neglect. BUT...CPS does not stay in its place. Should parents really have to be afraid to leave their children in the car in the winter at the store for ten minutes, or let their kids ride their bikes a half mile away from home and buy a snack at the store, or even play in their own front yard without a parent present?

Is it even healthy for children to never be allowed to explore the outdoors, play without constant supervision, or make a purchase for themselves at the store?

Should parents have to worry that somebody might call the parent police on them?

One thing that really bugs me is that removing children from a home with good parents, or sending a good parent to jail for a parenting decision that not everyone approves of is about the worse thing the government could do to a child. The parent child relationship is the most important thing to a developing child-- take that away and you've taken a child's best chance for love, protection and self worth.


 I don't think parents should have to live in fear of letting their kids play and develop in the same ways they did. CPS needs to find it's real place.

Making Costumes

I hate sewing!!!!!!!!!! I really do. But, for my kids, I am willing to do just about anything. So, I made them costumes for their Shakespeare play that is coming up at the end of this month.

Monday morning when I started to make Ruth's vest, my sewing machine completely jammed. So, I packed up the family and we spent two days at Grandma's so I could sew. Grandma helped me figure things out and bought some ribbon and things for the costumes. Grandpa took apart my sewing machine, unjammed it, put it back together and it WORKED!!!

I am so glad to have family here to help when they going gets tough. I wonder what else I will do that I would never have done because I have kids?

Luckily, this week was spring break. My plan was cleaning and organizing the house. The kids lucked out and got to spend two days playing at Grandma's, staying up really late, watching a lot of movies and playing with cousins. The next two days, we will be cleaning and organizing the house-- I hope.

Rachel Turns 6

Rachel turned 6 yesterday. We were staying at Grandma's house, so I could sew costumes for Ruth and Kate's Shakespeare play, so we had Rachel's party at Grandma's in Provo. I think that worked out pretty well for Rachel, because it made it easy for her cousins to come and play and spend a lot of time with her. First, we decorated and ate cupcakes. Then we had dinner and opened presents. Lastly, we went to the Classic Fun Center and jumped in the bouncy houses for an hour. I think all involved enjoyed it a lot. Rachel is still going to get a little at home party with some of the neighbors, as well as the fancy dinner she requested.

A few months ago, I couldn't believe that Rachel would be turning 6. She just seemed so immature to me. But, within the last 6 weeks, Rachel has matured a lot. She seems to have finally given up on crying and whining to get her own way and she is doing her chores with a lot less nagging. "Few!!!!" I like to get to this point with each child.

Rachel is very tiny for her age. I think this helps her get away with acting more like a baby. She is about 38 inches and weighs only 31 pounds. So she looks like a small four year old. I am concerned about her size as is the doctor. So she will be getting some tests done to make sure that everything is working right.

Rachel is a very assertive little girl. She is the bossiest of my kids. She expects a lot from other people and likes to be in charge. Kate was real assertive like this. I think Rachel will do a good job at standing up for herself. I just pray that I can point Rachel in the right direction. Rachel is not easily persuaded. With Rachel, the approach of learning gospel doctrine seems to be the right approach. While, parenting such a determined child can be hard, I at least know that she won't be so easily persuaded by her friends. Kate is very much the same way, and at 12.5, she could care less what her friends are doing. Kate and Rachel do what they want and if no one follows them, they complain they have no friends but have not yet altered their course to fit in.

General Conference

General Conference was a little bit different this year around because, I got to take my three oldest kids to the Conference Center for the second Saturday session. John stayed home with the five youngest kids. It is definitely a different feel to be in the conference center with the Prophet and Apostles. I know that Ruth and Kate really enjoyed being there. Johnny was just very wiggly and had to go to the bathroom too much.  I'm hoping Johnny will remember it as a good thing. Since we only live 8 miles from the conference center, I am sure that I will be able to do this again sometime. I want all of my kids to have that experience.

Sunday morning the kids decided to build forts instead of just laying out blankets. That lasted until half way through the first talk, when they were then required to either sit on a couch or in a chair for the rest of the session. I think they will learn that a conference picnic is definitely better than conference forts.

As is becoming tradition, we went to Grandma's for the last session and dinner. On the whole, I would have to say that younger kids are better at listening to conference then the older kids were at similar ages. Most of the kids listened quietly to all four sessions. We require baptized kids to sit and listen to all of them. But most of the other kids choose to do so too.

The talks were really good. As is usual, conference ended with me feeling like there was a whole lot for me to go over and to learn. I have now downloaded all of the talks onto our computer and have begun re-listening. I will listen to this session of conference a couple of times a week every week until the next semi-annual general conference.