What's Too Hard

Rachel is at a stage where she only wants Mom to do things for her. She gets pretty upset when Dad is putting her to bed, taking her to the bathroom, taking her out of her car seat, giving her a bath, etc. The other day John was insisting on being the parent to get Rachel out of the car. Rachel was screaming and pulling her arms toward me. I said, "Rachel, Daddy wants to get you." Rachel said, "No...it's too hard for me."

The Will of The Lord

Three weeks ago I found myself really worrying that my period had not started, but I just stuffed that thought away as paranoia. Two weeks ago, I told John that I thought my period might be late, but that I could not remember exactly when I last had it to begin with, so it was probably nothing. Monday, November 23, I bought a pregnancy test, just in case, so I could start prenatal vitamins if needed. About 2 hours later, I took the test expecting it to be negative. About 20 seconds later, I read over the instructions of the test three times to make sure that the result I saw was correct. Then I took the test and the instructions to John and he confirmed that yes indeed it was a positive test. I felt completely shocked. I did not sleep for the next three days. I really didn't think we were going to be having any more kids, at least not for three years. I had already thrown away my maternity clothes, and had given away most of my baby clothes. John and I were trying not to get pregnant and we were using a method that we knew had its faults, but that has worked 100% for us in the past.

John and I both feel that this is the will of the Lord for us, whether it ends in a miscarriage or a seventh child. I only started feeling ill two days ago, and I have had some cramping, so I do not feel confident that this pregnancy will not miscarry. I suspect we will know in two months time. What I do know is that I am going to be happy with whatever the Lord wants for us. I am not saying that I will be happy if I miscarry. Actually, I have been dreading that possibility. I know that seven kids, and particularly, the seventh kid just around 4 years and 8 or 9 months after the fourth kid, will be really hard. But it is here, and I am pregnant, and I want the baby. I am just determined to be pleasant and happy no matter the outcome. The Lord knows what is best for my husband and I and our children. I know that I can trust the Lord. He will be there to guide me and help raise all of these young children, or He will be there to support me through the difficult emotions of a miscarriage. I know this is true, because the Lord has always been there and he has always answered my prayers.

Question For All You Runners

Okay guys, I have been doing a 20 minute run Monday through Friday for about five weeks now and I still feel like I am dying. Some days are pretty good, but then the next day I will be exhausted after 2 minutes and the other 18 minutes are torture. So does it ever get better consistently? I don't expect to ever love running or train for even, say, a half marathon. I generally feel pretty happy with 2 miles in 20 minutes. In fact, having run 5 weeks consistently is probably approaching a record. I think I went three months straight my freshman year of college. But I was hoping that eventually I wouldn't feel like I am torturing myself 20 minutes every day. Since, I realized I am never going to give up chocolate and icecream for very long, and that my 30 year body does not want to stay as thin as my 20 year old body, I plan to do this for the rest of my life.

Something I Find Funny

For several Christmas's starting the first year we had Ruth around, I had us read Christmas stories and sing Christmas songs every night between Thanksgiving and Christmas. John complained a lot about this, so two years ago I quit. This year John has been having us sing every night and he has been reading a Christmas story to the kids. He even punishes the older kids if they do not sing. He has initiated this all by himself. In fact, John even goes to the effort of gathering the entire family together and keeping the kids up later for this purpose. John also fixed our broken Christmas tree so we could have a Christmas tree this year. We are leaving Dec 18, for Seth's wedding, and not coming back until Jan, so I decided to forgo the Christmas tree. Anyway, I am pleasantly surprised and find it pretty funny that my Ba-humbug husband has taken over making Christmas nice for the kids.

A Thanksgiving to be Thankful For

We had a very, very nice Thanksgiving this year. We decided to let go of tradition and to just do the things that we liked. We also decided to make it a lot smaller. We originally thought about letting everyone order the kind of pizza they like the best, but that fell through as the pizza places were all closed. I did have a backup plan, however. John had asked for a couple of traditional side dishes to be made at some point. He wanted mashed butternut squash, and emerald jello salad. I thought about it and decided to make a pork roast with those, because we like pork gravy on squash. When we found out that the pizza places would be closed this was the perfect plan b. John had already set his heart on BBQ ribs and was planning on ordering those instead of pizza. So John's plan b was to make his own BBQ ribs which he did. We had pork roast, BBQ ribs, emerald jello salad, mashed butternut squash, orange rolls, and a small pickle/olive platter. Then the kids got to pick out their own bottle of Italian soda, instead of pizza. For dessert we had banana splits. I spent no more than 4 hours cooking this year-- last year I spent around 20 hours.
I did not make any pies, because last year I made 10 pies and bought some icecream to go on the top. The kids asked if they could have the icecream without the pie. I had two pies mold and so I decided pies are just not for our family and that next year we would have banana splits. I asked the kids what they thought of Thanksgiving this year compared to last year. The unamimous vote was smaller and just foods we like is much, much better. Ruth said that last year was boring becasue all Mom and Dad did was cook and then clean up. She said that she liked having Mom and Dad to play with better than a lot of food. All I have to say is, "Out of the mouth of babes..." So yes, I felt very thankful this thanksgiving.
After lunch, on Thanksgiving we dipped caramels, nuts, and marshmellows for a yummy family activity. I made a lot of caramel turtles. Kate in the spirit of the season made caramel turkeys. I think she did a really good job.

Scripture Musings

I have found myself thinking about the scriptures a lot more and I always think that I want to write it down. I never do, though, because it takes so much more time than to write about my children. But since I am hoping to have my blog for my children to read when they are grown-- if they have time-- I am going to start my scripture musing blogs. I will have time most Saturdays and Sundays. This week I have spent a lot of time thinking about Isaiah 58, and Elder D. Todd Christofferson's talk from the Oct 2008 titled, "Come to Zion".

In Isaiah 58:2-10
1 Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and shew my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.

2 Yet they seek me daily, and delight to know my ways, as a nation that did righteousness, and forsook not the ordinance of their God: they ask of me the ordinances of justice; they take delight in approaching to God.

3Wherefore have we fasted, say they, and thou seest not? wherefore have we afflicted our soul, and thou takest no knowledge? Behold, in the day of your fast ye find pleasure, and exact all your labours.

4 Behold, ye fast for strife and debate, and to smite with the fist of wickedness: ye shall not fast as ye do this day, to make your voice to be heard on high.

5 Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the Lord?

6 Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?

7 Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry, and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house? when thou seest the naked, that thou cover him; and that thou hide not thyself from thine own flesh?

8 Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy rereward.

9 Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity; If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;

10 And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday:

11 And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

I read this a few nights ago and I have been thinking about this topic a lot. That is giving to the poor and the needy. Last summer I read in D&C 56:16 I read:

Wo unto you rich men, that will not give your substance to the poor, for your riches will canker your souls; and this shall be your lamentation in the day of visitation, and of judgment, and of indignation: The harvest is past, the summer is ended, and my soul is not saved!

That is when I realized how important it is to give to the poor, and how much Heavenly Father expects us to do. The Nephites after Christ came had no poor among them. The City of Enoch had no poor among them. These places had Zion. The people were Holy, they did not contend, and there were no poor among them. Then the Savior came and dwelt among them. I have known for some time, that as a church we are expected even now to build Zion. For most of my life I just thought that some day the righteous saints would be called to go to Independence, MO and build a city called Zion and then Christ would come again. But after I had a family, I realized that we needed to build Zion in our home and in our hearts if we expected to have the City of Zion again. So for the last 8 or 9 years John and I have been working on not criticizing and contending. That takes a lot of effort. But we are trying. On the other hand, for years John and I have been fairly poor, and yet not at all poor. We have always had everything that we need-- food, clothes, a house-- and a whole lot more-- computers, tv's, lots of icecream and chocolate. Occasionally, John and I have looked at our blessings and have increased our fast offerings. But it has been very recently, that I have realized that we need to do more if we want Zion to come. And I do want Zion to come. With all of the wickedness in the world, I feel the desire to do all I can to bring Zion to the Earth again for the safety of my children and my grandchildren. What better gift could I give my children than to work with my whole heart and soul for the coming of Zion?

Now to Elder Christofferson's talk. He says:

Zion is Zion because of the character, attributes, and faithfulness of her citizens. Remember, "the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them" (Moses 7:18). If we would establish Zion in our homes, branches, wards, and stakes, we must rise to this standard. It will be necessary (1) to become unified in one heart and one mind; (2) to become, individually and collectively, a holy people; and (3) to care for the poor and needy with such effectiveness that we eliminate poverty among us. We cannot wait until Zion comes for these things to happen—Zion will come only as they happen.

I felt like I knew how to become unified and to become holy. They seem to go hand in hand. We become unified by not contending and we become Holy by keeping the commandments and our covenants and by having our hearts changed through the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ. But I have been stuck on how to take care of the poor and needy with such effectiveness that there are no longer any poor among us. So I have been thinking about this a lot over the last couple of months and here are a few of my thoughts.
1.We cannot be compelled to take care of the poor. We have to have a change of heart and a desire to serve the needs of others.
2.We have to realize that all of what we have comes from Heavenly Father. If we are more capable in our jobs and make more money than others it is because we have been blessed with the talents to do so. If we are more organized or get along with people better and therefore make more money, it is because we have been blessed with those talents and abilities. If we have chosen to recieve an education that helps get a better job than some one else, we still do not deserve to have more. In our case, we have just been blessed, regardless of our poor choices, and inability.
3.Elder Christofferson told a story about a man who saw a family that needed a table and he brought them this funny looking one. The person he brought the table to later learned that he actually had cut his table in half, and made new legs. Then he gave the better half away. Thinking about this I've realized that we should give our best. It is tempting to give away the yucky canned peas and lima beans when the school has the food drive, but it is better and we will be better people if we give our very best and even the things we want and need for ourselves.

I think there is probably a lot more to learn and our family has a long way to go until I think we will be doing enough to help the poor and needy. But I want to build Zion in my home, family, ward, and stake. I want to have the safety and protection of Zion for my people, and I am learning through the scriptures what my family needs to do to receive the blessings of Zion. I pray that we will be able to do all that is required without murmuring.

Red Light

A few days ago while stopped at a red light for some time I heard Adam yelling form the back of the car, "TURN GREEN YOU STUPID RED LIGHT!" Do 4 year-olds have road rage?