This Week at Our House # 8

1. John put the new faucet in our kitchen sink. I LOVE it!! He is not so sure. But, let me tell you, the one this house came with was awful!!! This was the best Valentine's present ever!
2. My youngest sister is in town. My kids have had fun playing with their cousin, Sadie and I have enjoyed getting to know my sister a little more. 
3. Ruth and I spent a lot of time on driving this week. Tuesday, we had a student/parent mandatory drivers ed meeting, and on Saturday I took Ruth driving for an hour and a half in the fair grounds parking lot. It isn't the most exciting thing, but she needs the practice. It took me a while to learn to drive and Ruth is following suit. Driving definitely makes her nervous. I wish we had more back roads around here, so she could have empty roads to just get used to how a car works.
4. Kate did lots and lots of math homework all week. She still has plenty more to do. Poor Kate, her whole life is based around homework. 
5. Johnny missed one assignment, but it was not his fault, however, he will have to finish the make-up work for it today or he will eat beans for dinner.
6. Adam is sick of school and schedules and is really, really looking forward to summer vacation even though it is only February. He is finally learning to like reading some. I had parent/teacher conference with Adam's teacher. We had a good conversation. Adam gets along well with the other kids, is smart and is doing great. We think he just needs a little more sunshine. I need to remember to sign him up for soccer this week to help that along.
7. Rachel had her second week off from school. She has been staying up late and sleeping in. She had Anya home with her most of last week and that made her happy. I will need to take her to do some fun free things this week to make her vacation time worthwhile.
8. Anya had most of the week from school for parent/teacher conferences. She is doing great! She is reading at an early first grade level and is doing math at a later first grade level. There is just nothing to worry about with Anya and school.
9. Joseph liked the new kitchen faucet so much that he sprayed the entire kitchen and nearly killed our modem. We thought it was gone, but it started to work again this morning just before I got ready to leave to buy a new one.
10. Will Josh ever be potty trained??????
11. Arwen is low on clothes and pajamas right now because she has grown some. I pulled out a pair of pajamas from storage that belonged to Rachel and Anya at some point. Arwen LOVED them enough that when I took them off her in the morning and got her dressed, she kept bringing the pajamas back to me until I consented to put them back on her. She's funny. I love how opinionated babies can be.
12. I am still tired, tired, tired with this pregnancy. I have done things this pregnancy that I have never done my entire marriage like go to bed with dishes in the sink or the floors not swept. I do take care of them in the mornings, but some nights, I just don't have enough energy left to finish up all the cleaning. Baby Susan is not a very wiggly little girl, but she is moving just enough to let me know she is still in there and growing. I am now 5 months pregnant. This is the last month of my second trimester. The first half of this pregnancy has flown by.

This Week's Pictures

Two Stories of People Being Awful

A Negative Review of Frozen

My dear friend Kathryn Skaggs author of "A Well Behaved Mormon Woman" blog, wrote a blog post, or rather, more of a theme paper on the movie Frozen. If she was a student at BYU, she would have probably received an A. She was thorough, had proof for her ideas, and wrote it well. Her theme for Frozen: "coming out of the closet" for homosexuals. This isn't a new idea taken from the movie. I have heard this from a number of people including my husband who took my younger children to see Frozen in the theater. In fact, many homosexual bloggers wrote a similar theme. Here are two examples: The Icy Closet – “Frozen” and Authenticity, and Love is an Open Closet Door in ‘Frozen’. They read very similar to Kathryn's with one difference. They are praising Disney for adding this theme to their movie and helping the gay movement and normalizing homosexuality. Kathryn was sending a warning to parents that this is teaching their children to believe in the arguments used by the gay lobby.


The homosexual bloggers were praised. Kathryn was beat upon by many, many people. In less than 48 hours, Kathryn was called names. She was told that she is the reason gay people want to commit suicide, and other people leave the church. She was told that she just "sees the gay in everything" or that she is a very negative person always looking for the bad. People said she was paranoid at best and evil at worst, and that she is definitely NOT "Well Behaved". The Huffington Post picked up her blog post mocking her more.

I felt awful for her. Can you even imagine 48 hours of your "friends" some family, and hundreds and hundreds of strangers across the nation telling you how awful you are because you dared to write your opinion of a cartoon? I think it's horrible!! and frankly weird that a movie could elicit so much anger.

Child Molestation Prevention in the Schools

Early Wednesday morning, I went up to the state Capitol Building to testify against a "child molestation prevention bill". Elizabeth Smart and her father were there to testify for the bill. A committee meeting had already been held on the Friday before. I was originally against the bill altogether because I do not want my kindergarteners taught about their private parts in school. After hearing enough children who had been molested saying a program like that may have helped them end the abuse or better fight off their attackers, I changed my stance a bit. Instead I testified that the majority of parents are good and are there protecting their children, but in order to do so, they must know what their children are being taught in schools. Originally the bill would not allow parents to know about the program in case parents were the criminals. In the end, the bill was amended so that parents will be informed and will have the option to remove their kids from that class. Later that day, Deseret News, KSL, and the local Fox news channels wrote about the committee meeting. The article mainly focused on Elizabeth Smart, but had a small quote from me. I saw that the KSL version was liked by a family member of mine on Facebook so I clicked on it and browsed through the Facebook comments. All of the comments were attacking poor Elizabeth Smart for supporting this bill. The people were not against the idea of child molestation prevention being taught in schools, they were just against Elizabeth Smart for not "getting over" her kidnapping and rape! I was horrified and astonished that complete strangers would attack her person so brutally  for trying to help other children who may end up her in situation. I was not on her team, but I respect her for doing what she feels is right. And come on, people being kidnapped and raped for 9 months at any age would be a lot to get over!!!!

From these two experiences I have learned that people online can be brutal! A friend of mine said, "I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they react to someone they don't agree with, especially when they don't know that person. Name calling and falling-in with a group of name callers is especially telling." I agree with that. I doubt most of the people writing these hateful comments online would have even thought to say the same thing in person. But have they thought about what their mean comments say about them? 

Many years ago, I wrote a rather mean email to a school teacher that I disagreed with. I sent it and when my husband got home, I had him read it. He was astonished at how mean and inconsiderate I was. He knew that I would never had said those things in person. I did not name call in the email, I just strongly disagreed in a way that was hurtful to the teacher. That was a learning point and turning point in  my life. For years after, I never sent any written disagreements without checking with someone else first. I didn't want to ruin someone's day or make them cry or feel humiliated. 

I think most people don't want to ruin someone's day or humiliate them, and or especially make them cry. Most people are civil in person. We all should think twice about how we say something to someone online. These are real people with real feelings on the other side of the screen. We all have our own causes and our own opinions. There is no way we will all agree, but we can be careful about how we disagree.

This Week at Our House # 7

1. John took me out on a lovely date for Valentine's Day. We chose to go to Outback Steak House. We used to order their cheese fries and watch a movie together for date night when our kids were all little. There isn't an Outback very near us where we live now, so we hardly go there at all anymore. Being Friday and Valentine's Day the wait was around 40 to 50 minutes even after 9pm. We didn't mind. We got a cushioned seat in the waiting area and had a lovely time chatting. By the time we ate, I wouldn't have been able to say the food was anything less than amazing, we were so hungry. The food was amazing and we had plenty to talk about. John bought me a new faucet for the kitchen sink-- which has been broken since we moved in. It will come in the mail on Tuesday. I really look forward to having a new faucet. John also fixed and recocked the sink in preparation for the final repair. I have a wonderful husband to be my Valentine.
2. My dear friend Natalie Larson lost her baby boy at 20 weeks gestation on Valentine's Day. My heart is broken for her. She is the mother of 6 little children. This was her 7th little baby. Her faith and patience have always been a strength to me. We have had our last two babies together and these two were due just about a week apart. My heart goes out to her and her family. If you don't mind, please prayer for my dear friend Natalie. 
3. Ruth is an amazing girl! I can hardly say more. She does so much and keeps up with it all. She wanted to make cream puffs for her friends for Valentine's Day. After school on Thursday she made the shells, but didn't have time to make the filling before she had to leave for her friend's play. She had a lot of fun at the play and even went to dinner with her friends afterwards. She didn't get home until nearly midnight, but still wanted to get her treat made. I went to bed. Ruth woke us up about the time the bus left telling us she had slept in. I got up to get the middle school kids off and John took Ruth to school. That is when I found out that Ruth could not get the cream to work. After I got all the kids to school, I decided to finish the cream puffs for Ruth and get them to her right away. She had already had a tough, tired morning. Instead of cleaning the bathrooms, I made the cream puffs and brought them to the high school. Then I had to rush around and get up to the Capitol building for an important committee meeting. I got home from the committee meeting at around 5pm. Ruth had picked up,washed the dishes and cleaned one bathroom as a thank you. She didn't even know that I had skipped cleaning bathrooms to get her cream puffs finished. I am in love with this teenage daughter of mine. She will make one amazing wife and mother someday! 
4. Kate finally had her first dance since she turned 14 in August. She has had two other opportunities, but they have not worked out. Worried that she would sit out by the snack table the whole time, I said she could not make a chocolate cheese cake unless she danced with a boy. Well, she danced with 5 boys and had an amazingly fun time. Some of her friend's from her performance in Annie a year ago were there, which made everything better. When they got home, Ruth, Kate, Johnny, John, and I all sat around our kitchen island with little donuts and orange juice and listened to Ruth and Kate's stories about the dance. I love my teenagers!! They can be so much fun.
5. Johnny had a good week. He was so helpful everyday! Ruth and Kate have been busy and away a lot more and Johnny has really taken up their slack with chores. Johnny went ice skating with the youth on Wednesday night, and while he fell the most, he skated the fasted and hardest. I think that is kind of fun because his favorite part of the Winter Olympics has been the speed skating.
6. We've had a warm week, at least for February, and the kids have been able to play outside every single day. Adam had a much happier week with more energy and more boy adventure in his little self. I was able to get in contact with his teacher. Apparently, she had been sick. She said that Adam's is happy all the day and gets along with the other children. I will have a parent/teacher conference on Thursday, so we will get to discuss more in detail. Though, I realized the problem seems to be a case of the "Februaries" or winter blues and he is just tired of getting up and going to school every day. Well, I am tired of getting up and taking them to school every day too. We just need some spring warmth, growth, and renewal.
7. Rachel had school off all week and will for the next two weeks. I enjoyed having her home. She has really grown up a lot this last year and is starting to be more like a big kid. She makes huge messes with her play, but is now picking them up by herself. She has been really helpful with the younger kids and the daily chores while she has been home. In fact, yesterday, I had everyone but Rachel pick up a few times because Rachel has been the main one keeping the living room cleaned up all week. In our family that is a big deal because it does not take long for our living room to be strewn with toys, papers, books, shoes, backpacks, coats, and more.
8. Anya had her first Valentine's school party. She did an awesome job filling out her Valentine cards all by herself while laying next to me in bed and came home with all sorts of goodies. Valentine's Day has in a way become the new Halloween for treats that come home. That's alright with me. February is a tough month, and a little candy can't hurt.
9. Joseph played outside in the mud and on the trampoline everyday. He's been a much happier, smiley boy. I wish we had a bigger yard with some big trees for him to explore in, alas... Yesterday, I took down our computers and declared that all of the little kids are off computer games until I feel like bringing them back. They've just played as much as they can get away with and fought over whose turn it is. Since my rules have not been followed, it was time to remove the computers. 
10. Josh was his normal little cute little self. Potty training is going a little better because while he still does not choose to go to the bathroom when he has too, he is now taking himself when I tell him too.
11. Arwen is our little sweety. Rachel asked me to rub her belly while I was typing and I said no. Arwen crawled over me and started gently rubbing Rachel's belly. One of the best things about a big family is the sibling love. They may have their little fights and disagreements, but they truly love and look out for each other.
12. Baby Susan is moving around so I can conclude that she is just fine. I realized that if I ate a big salad everyday for lunch, I have a lot more energy. So I have eaten a salad everyday for lunch. Some days I am really sick of salad, but it is worth it to have more energy in the evenings.

This Week's Pictures

Joseph's ship

Valentine's carnation from Johnny

When mom forgets to put the baby down for a nap

pajamas are so comfy

Let's Stop Pretending All Choices are Equal

I am going to address another hot topic that brings with it a lot of controversy  and emotions: stay at home moms verses working moms. We are constantly being told not to judge other's choices in this matter, and that both options have their benefits. While I agree that we must be kind, tolerant, and respectful, I do not agree that both choices are equal.

Let's be honest-- daycare providers will never be a good substitute for a parent. I live near a home daycare and one home daycare that just closed. I have had several friends over the years who have done home daycare to bring in a little extra income. I have often thought about doing a home daycare as we have very often been poor. The people who I know who do home daycare are kind, loving people who take good care of the children in their charge. But, it is their job. They do not love these children with even a dribble of the intensity that their mothers love them. When the children leave in the evening, the daycare providers are glad to see them go. They are glad to have their own time with their own families. They do not miss these children. Like anyone else, they look forward to their vacation time away from their job. Home daycare is their job. It is not their love.

I feel sorry for the babies who are spending their formative years with people who do not love them.  Yes, they may be in a caring environment, but there is no substitute for a mother's love and a mother's time. Nicer cars, bigger homes, nicely decorated homes, fun vacations, cooler toys, music lessons, and sports will never substitute what children really need. They need their parents. They need their parents time and presence.

As more and more children who have been raised in the daycare system have grown into adults, we can clearly see how it has affected them, and it hasn't resulted in a bunch of happy, independent, hard working stable adults. There is a reason people are saying, "thirty is the new twenty."

I understand that some mother's must work. Some mother's are widowed, divorced or are single moms and they must be the provider for their families. Indeed it is their duty. Those circumstances are different and these mother's must work within the structure of their homes. But, let's be honest again. The children in divorced and single parent households are at a disadvantage because of choices made by at least one of their parents. It isn't magic that broke up a family or got a single woman pregnant-- it is a choice. Often the choice has left both the mother and the children victims. Let's stop pretending. All choices are not equal.

This Week at Our House #6

1. We had a much quieter week this last week. Work went okay for John. He had fun joining Adam for scouts at the firehouse learning how to put out fires with fire extinguishers.
2. I was up at the Capitol three times. I spent a small amount of time talking to a couple of representatives about a sexual education bill. It looks like the bills that I cared most about (religious freedom bills) and worked the hardest on will not make it out of the rules committee. Given that, I do not feel as obligated to spend as much time up at the Capitol. The last couple of weeks have made me very grateful that John supports me as a stay at home mom. I can't imagine having to be dressed up, out of the house and away from my kids every day.
3. Ruth wasn't feeling too great this weekend. She's still feeling a little ill, but I think she will push through and go to school tomorrow. 
4. Kate took a day off from school for a stomach ache as well as a chance to catch up on some school work. She actually did homework from 8am until about 9pm that day.
5. Johnny is still keeping up on his school work. He had a history project that he remembered and completed yesterday. He has to make a personal goal and complete it for a health project. He chose to read a novel in two days. He reads fast and he reads a ton. He needs his own library.
6. Adam told me that he often feels sick while at school, but then feels better when he gets home. I have tried to contact his teacher to see if she knows of anything that would be causing him anxiety in school, but she has not gotten back to me. Now I am worried that any anxiety he may be having is coming from his teacher. It is a good thing parent/teacher conferences are coming up. I am not very happy with teachers who do not communicate with parents.
7. I had parent/teacher conference with Rachel's teacher this week. Rachel continues to improve. I was glad to find out that Rachel is now seeing a physical therapist to help her hold her pen correctly. This has been a problem for a very long time and I have not known how to correct it. I found out from Rachel's teacher that she has been falling asleep in school. That night we moved Rachel's bed out of the room with Joseph and Anya and in with Josh and Arwen. She is now getting more sleep and is happy with the new sleeping arrangement. Rachel goes off track this week and will have three weeks off from school.
8. Anya and Joseph never go to bed when we tell them to. They race up and down the halls, go to the bathroom several times, talk, play and sneak around the house. As a result, Anya has been very teary and irrational. I have ordered some lavender oil and melatonin. I am going to try and give Anya and Joseph a hot bath and rub some lavender oil on them. If that does not help them to settle down at night, I may give melatonin a try. I am always skeptical of medicines, so I may change my mind.
9. I am really, really looking forward to warmer weather so I can send my rough, tumbly, full of energy boy outside to play. Joseph wants to play video games all day long, so we have had to make sure the computers are password locked to keep him from sneaking on. I plan to sign him up for soccer soon too. I think that will help him get some of his energy out.
10. Josh is mostly pooping in the toilets now, but the rest of potty training seems to be a long time coming. Josh has taken to drawing on anything and everything. Fortunately most of our surfaces and writing utensils are pretty washable. 
11. Arwen started nursery for the first time today. She gets to go in with Josh, and I think that helps a lot. She stayed, didn't cry and participated about as much as any 18 month old. She's so sweet and cuddly. 
12. My placenta is right on the front of my uterus. That is why I have not felt baby Susan kick as much as some of the other babies. As she gets bigger, that won't matter anymore. She will be big enough for me to feel regularly. The placenta is still in a safe place for a clean delivery. I look forward to meeting my new little darling in another 4.5 months.

This Week's Pictures

This Week at Our House #5

1. What a crazy, busy week for all of us. Work started out pretty difficult, but John was able to make some real progress by the end of the week. I have been so exhausted this pregnancy that John has been doing dishes, making the kids clean, and cooking meals. He even made the kids and had himself clean all three of our bathrooms. This is the first week since I grew up and left home that I have not cleaned a bathroom. I am very, very grateful for John's help. I really do need it right now.
2. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday morning I spent a couple of hours at the state Capitol at meetings for laws that UFU is going to support and helping out the interns learn about how to support laws that support family values. This is a little rough, especially when I have to bring 4 little kids. We still plan on doing this and making it to key committee meetings and standing there hanging out to give request slips to the legislatures when we have the time. On Tuesday, we had the Marriage Rally at the state capitol. We walked in with our whole family and it there was such a peaceful feeling there. The highway patrol was called in to keep the protesters peaceful. That made a huge difference. The speakers were wonderful, and the best thing of all was there were way more than the 1000 needed people attending!! A lot of work went into this, and it turned out brilliantly!
3. I got a call from Ruth's seminary teacher on Wednesday. He started by saying you have a wonderful daughter (I actually know that). Then he told me that there is a girl in the class with some developmental issues, who was crying because of some things that had been said in the class. During an assignment to practice being missionaries, Ruth chose her as a partner and helped her calm down and leave the class happy. I asked Ruth about this. Apparently, the girl was crying because the majority of the kids in the class were making fun of her. She said the other kids who were not participating, just kept silent. When Ruth had the opportunity she went to the girl. Ruth said she hates her new semesters seminary class because the kids are either mean or quiet. I know she had planned to change classes. A bunch of her close friends are in the other class at the same time. However, this incident has changed her mind. She has decided to stick it out and help this one girl. I am very happy with my daughter's integrity, and very sad for this poor girl and the other seminary kids that are hurting her feelings.
4. After school on Tuesday, Kate spent time making posters for the rally. Then we went to rally, got home late, had ice cream, and sent everyone to bed. Kate didn't finish her math homework. The next day, Kate told her math teacher that she did not finish her homework because she went to the marriage rally. Her teacher said, "Okay, that is a good reason." Then he said, "which rally?" She is lucky he is pro-family. There were opposing rallies at the Capitol that day. 
5. I finally found the right motivation to get Johnny to keep up with his school work. I told him that every time I look up his grades and find her has missing work, he will have to eat beans for dinner that night and lunch the next day. Since then, Johnny has finished all his missing work and kept careful track of his due dates. I will have to make sure to come through with this punishment. Next year, he'll be in 9th grade when his grades start counting for college. I shouldn't complain too much, though. He currently has 3.8 accumulative gpa.
6. How  do you get a quiet child to talk to you and tell you about things? Adam has never been much for conversation and John and I are trying to figure out how to make him our good friend. I try and get him to talk to me when I take him to school each morning. He just never has much to say. He does seem happy. He is obedient and good. He reads his scriptures and says his prayers faithfully everyday, so I think he is doing well.
7. Rachel has a new little friend that she has been walking home from school with. She's really enjoying his company. They are in the same class, and his family lives just around the corner from us.
8. Anya went faithfully with me to the Capitol building every morning. She saves her homework to do there. She's being really sweet (so far) about the back and forth to the Capitol and then immediately off to school. 
9. Joseph came with me to the Capitol the three mornings too. He gets a little whiney, but he's always happy to go back. 
10. I stayed home from church with Arwen today and Josh gave John a real run for his money during Sacrament meeting. It is very clear that Josh knows he can get away with a lot more with John than he can with me. He ran off several times, was loud, and just plain old naughty. 
11. At the Capitol on Friday, Arwen's little personality really began to surface. She would take her toys and stick them right in the middle of whatever the other kids had going on (drawings, trains, puzzles). When the other kids would try and remover her things, Arwen would scream. She was such a little stinker. I did not know she had that in her.
12. We had the ultrasound and baby number 10 is a girl!!!!! We plan to name her Susan after my great, great, great grandmother, Susan Ealand, who  immigrated from England. Baby Susan wiggled all through the ultrasound. I loved seeing her little profile and her wigglieness. Everything is looking great, intact, and measuring just right. She looks like another healthy little child We have been very, very blessed with all of our children and that my body has been strong enough to carry all of them.

This Week's Pictures

It's a ...

And the Pattern continues...

girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, ?

Can you guess? It's a _______________ !!!!