My Dynamic Duel

Ruth asked me why I never post good things about her on my blog. I guess it is because I try not to brag. But for my beautiful daughter, I will go ahead and brag all day. I pridefully declare that I have two awesome daughters!!!! Ruth who is 13 1/2 and Kate who is 12 are my dynamic duel. They are good and stalwart and serviceable. They are kind and generous and caring. They are gracious and talented. They try hard to get along with each other and other people. They are friendly and fun. They are studious and successful.

• Good and Stalwart-- Ruth and Kate know that they are happier when they keep the commandments of God. They read their scriptures and listen to the teachings of the modern day prophets. They discuss the things of the gospel with their parents and try to apply it in their lives and and behavior.
• Serviceable-- Ruth follows me around all day asking me how she can help. There is a girl in our Young Womens group with asperbergers that would not go until Ruth befriended her and invited her to come. When she came, Ruth sat beside her and talked to her. Kate is always making delicious treats for our family and neighbors. Kate spends a lot of time playing with and caring for Joseph and Joshua. Kate also spends a lot of time talking to her father and doing the things that he likes to do.
• Kind and Generous, and Caring-- When some one in our family is sick or injured, Kate is right there caring for them. Johnny was very sick all this last week and Kate was always volunteering to bring him drinks and crackers when I was too busy. She also spent a lot of time sitting near him and talking to him. Ruth and Kate are always buying little things for their younger brothers and sisters and friends with the money they have earned for themselves. When we have family events Ruth will chase and wrestle and play with all of her little cousins.
• Gracious and Talented-- Ruth never forgets to say thank you and is always happy with what she gets. Kate is always telling me what a good mom I am even though she is getting to that age. Ruth and Kate are both good artists. Ruth likes sing and works to be a good singer. They spend a lot of time drawing and creating things. They like to swim and dive. Kate likes to run and works on that. They are talented.
• Getting Along-- Ruth and Kate definitely make a big effort to get along with each other even though they are very different. They truly are best friends. They are also nice to other girls and like to have friends and be with their friends.
• Friendly and Fun--well, just hang out with them for a while. They are fun and witty yet still kind in their speech.
• Studious and Successful-- they are amazing home schoolers. I hear other moms complain about getting their kids to sit and study. Ruth and Kate get their books out and work straight for 4 to 5 hours without complaint. I do not have to tell them to do their work. They just do it. Before home school each was a straight A student in all of the top classes. I would say they are hard working. Kate especially. She had  a hard time learning to read, but she worked diligently and it has paid off. 

Yes, I have two awesome daughters. I am so glad Heavenly Father gave me my amazing girls first. They help me so much everyday. My life as a mother of 8 is so much easier because of my dynamic duel.

For My Birthday

I had an awesome girls party at my mother in laws home last night. Everyone forgot to bring cameras, so you will have to use your imaginations. Now, just imagine a bunch of moms of various ages, a grandma, 2 teenage-ish girls and 6 little girls sitting in a big room with a projector TV, an awesome sound system, and a few couches, chairs, and bean bags watching the 6 hour A&E Pride and Prejudice while, doing hair, painting nails, and having foot massages. Does it sound lovely? It was-- very, very lovely!

A Week of Faith

I am going to do something that I have not done before. I am going to have a Week of Faith on my blog. I will do this the week of Novemeber 6th. I will have guest writers, and I will set up a link for anyone to link their blog posts about faith to.  I have already asked some people to be guest writers and I have received some positive responses. I am working on making a button to grab. I have some things to learn, so this will give me an opportunity to learn some neat things to make my blog better. I am excited!! I am excited to learn from other people about faith and how faith has affected their lives. If you have an experience with how faith has worked in your lives or you would like to write about what you know about faith you can contact me to be a guest writer  (diane.etc@gmail.com). I will post more about this as we get closer. So come by the week of November 6th to talk about Faith.

Something I Forgot to Say in "My Personal Story" Post

After I published my A Personal Story post, I thought crap I forgot to say... So now I am saying it.

I forgot to say: I am NOT recommending for any one to suddenly stop taking anti-depressants. I think that is quite dangerous, in fact. So please do not just go and throw away your anti-depressants. I was not quite 21 when I did this. I was impulsive at that time in my life, like I think a lot of people are at that age. Also, I am certain that the antidepressants I was on were not helping me at all. All they ever did was make me feel sick and drugged. Quitting medication like this cold turkey is not good and not recommended.

What I am saying is: the atonement of Jesus Christ heals both sins and afflictions. One  accesses the atonement for sin by faith and repentance, and one accesses the atonement for afflictions by faith and service.

I am also saying it is good to listen and act upon the words of the Prophets and Apostles. I believe they are angels sent to us with personal messages from the Lord. I am also saying that the Bishops in our ward are over us and have the power to receive revelation for the members of his own ward. If my bishop says, "Get over yourself and serve others," then that is what I need to do. If your bishop says see a psychiatrist and do what he says, then that is what you should you.

So please, please do not just throw away you anti depressants. We are all individuals. And we are all children of  God, and if we go to Him in faith believing we can be healed, then He will heal us.

I have kept this story secret for 15 years. Recently, I have felt the Spirit prompting me to share it. If my personal struggles can help some one else then that is good. The more people I have gotten to know, the more I realize that most people struggle with feelings of despair and depression. Truly, we all are brothers and sisters.

A Personal Story

Anyone who knows me now would not have any idea about this, and I have kept it very quiet. Recently,  I have felt  like I need to share this personal story from my youth.

Just before I turned 7 years old my family moved from the Seattle, Washington area to Worcester, Massachusetts. It was a big move, and it was hard on the whole family. It was especially hard for me. I was happy in Washington. I had friends in my school, and we had a comfortable home. We moved to a very old (built in 1801) home that was very neat but very cold and old. We moved from a place where the winters are mild to a place with very fierce winters. I did not have any friends in school. In fact, I was chased around and made fun of and even demanded to cry by my classmates. My teacher said mean things to me daily. My parents were having a hard time financially. The type of food we ate changed drastically. I cannot blame my parents for moving us. My dad needed a job. But from this move, I went from a fairly happy child to a very depressed child.

Depression stayed with me from that time forward. I withdrew, and I had a hard time making friends for many years to come. I always felt on the outside of society. Any friends I did have either suffered from depression or didn't hang around very long. I definitely had the nobody likes me everybody hates me attitude. (Looking back now, I know that is what kept me from having friends.)  I do not want to go into many of the details. If you looked up depression on wikipedia, I probably had most of the symptoms at some point between the ages of 7 and 21. My depression was  very severe.

As a child and a young teenager, I did nothing about it. I had a friend that mentioned depression to me when I was 16, but I did not want to even talk about it. I wanted to be normal. I knew I wasn't. In college, I formed a group of friends that were all depressed. I started seeing a counselor and talking about my sad childhood. That is when my life became the darkest. I had embraced depression, and made it my very identity. I hardly talked about anything else. I was put on medication. When my counselor asked me if I wanted to get better, I responded that I didn't know myself aside from depression. I didn't think I had a non-depressed self. This was while I was at Rick's college.

After Rick's college, I had a tough summer. I wanted to live closer to my family, but I didn't feel a part of them, and I didn't want to be too close. I chose, not to go to school in Utah, like I had planned. Instead, I decided to attend the University of Michigan. That way, I would be close enough to family when I wanted to drive home, but far enough away to feel independent. I will be ever grateful for that choice.

Once in Michigan, I had an interview with my singles ward Bishop. He interviewed every new member of the ward. Like everyone else, I told him the big sob story of my life. He had no compassion. He simply said something like, "It seems to me you are only thinking about yourself. You should just get out of yourself and start serving and thinking about other people." That was a slap in my face that I have been ever grateful for. I took his advice very seriously and began looking for others who needed me.

Not too long after this, two talks in the October 1996 General Conference grabbed my attention. One by  Elder Neil A. Maxwell, According to the Desires of Our Hearts, and another by President James E. Faust, Woman, Why Weepest Thou? really hit me. President Faust said, "Through faith and righteousness all of the inequities, injuries, and pains of this life can be fully compensated for and made right." He was talking about the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. With power, this statement swept over me. I then knew that the atonement not only healed sins but afflictions as well. Neil A. Maxwell, said, "what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity." I knew this statement was meant for me.

About two weeks later, I woke up with the same familiar feelings of despair. I said aloud, "I do not want to spend the rest of my life like this." I got out of bed, threw away my anti-depressants, and got down on my hands and knees. In my prayer, I stated that I knew the atonement of my Savior healed afflictions and cleansed from sins. I asked for the atonement to heal my life long depression. I knew The Lord heard my prayer. I had faith that I would be healed, and I went forward with faith.

I made a lot of significant changes in my life that day and the weeks following. I took my good Bishops advice very seriously and began to serve and look for ways to serve. I threw away books that I had about depression. I threw away my bad and depressing music. I changed the way I dressed. I changed my friends. In some ways this happened naturally. My old friends did not like me being happy. The departure of friendship was mutual and necessary to my full recovery.

From depression, I was healed completely. I was healed not through medication or counseling. I was healed through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I was healed because of the pains and suffering of The Savior in our behalf . My very soul and body were changed and I know that this sort of power only comes through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Since that time, my life has been good and easy. I can make and keep friends. I can do hard things, and I feel happy everyday. There are days that I find myself feeling sad or depressed. I know these thoughts very well.  (I grew up with them.) But, I know that it is not me. I consider  depression a personal temptation. I know better. I put it behind me and I get to work. I clean my house; I play with my kids; I invite a friend to go out with me, and I find enjoyment and solace in the scriptures. I have had no trouble with depression for 15 years now. I know that I will not be afflicted with this again because I choose not to and especially because of the Savior. I love his beautiful words in Matthew chapter 11.

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Indeed His yoke is easy and His burden is light. My heart is filled with gratitude.

Maintenance

This past summer I was sitting around with a bunch of family and we were talking about house keeping-- I know that is weird, but we were all moms. I mentioned that I didn't go to bed until the kitchen was cleaned and the rest of the downstairs was picked up, swept, and vacuumed so I could wake up to a clean house. One person looked at me rather incredulously and with that "you are crazy" tone in her voice asked, "What is the point of having your house clean when everyone is sleeping?" I dumbly responded that I just like that 15 minutes in the morning of quiet in a clean house before dishes and food are brought out, toys are dumped and books and papers are taken off the shelves. However true the answer was, I have since realized there is another bigger more important reason-- Maintenance.

If we did not pick up the toys, books, papers, clean and wash and sweep the kitchen everyday our house would be unlivable within a few days. A family of 4 or 5 may be able to get away with only doing dishes every day and cleaning on Saturdays. That does not work for a family of 10. Just think of what your home looks like after your 2 or 3 children have played and then think of what it looks like after your 2 or3 children have played with their 5 friends. That is what our house looks like at about 3 o'clock everyday. So at 3 we clean the house and at 8 or 9, we clean the house again. When I go to bed, the living room is cleaned and vacuumed, the kitchen is clean, and the upstairs has been picked up. Since all of our stuff and all of our mess makers are tucked nicely away for the night, our little house can have a break. And we are keeping our mess under control.

Now it is true that I have had a not going to bed until the house is cleaned policy since Ruth was 5 months old. It really wasn't that necessary then. Still, I am grateful that I made that policy early in my marriage because it has made maintaining a home for 10 much easier.

I have one more disclaimer. When, Ruth was 5 months old, a mother of 8 children came to our relief  society to talk to us about keeping a nice house. She mentioned that every night once the Temple was closed, the Temple got dusted, and vacuumed, and wiped down. I think that is where I got the idea to begin with, and I still think it was a good idea.

Adam Loves Johnny

Adam loves Johnny!!! He does what ever Johnny does. If we are playing a game, Adam will only do what Johnny does-- even if Johnny is losing the game. If we are choosing food, Adam always says, "I want what Johnny wants." If Johnny changes his mind, Adam changes his mind too. Adam has to go to bed before Johnny,  but Adam never goes to sleep until Johnny goes to bed. When Johnny has friends over, Adam plays too. Adam talks like Johnny's friends are his friends. Pretty much, Adam mimics Johnny in every way. The nice thing about this arrangement is while Johnny definitely gets annoyed, he is nice to Adam about it.