Saturday, October 15, 2011
Happiness
Catching Up
Homeschool, plus all these other evening activities that we are involved in keep me so busy I have much less time to blog than I would like. So Saturday and Sunday are becoming my catch up on the blog days. We only have three soccer games left, though. I am hoping for a few more free evenings then. There have been several things I thought about writing. I guess I will see if I can remember any of them. Here are a few catch up on the fam notes.
- I turned 36 yesterday, and John got me a Kindle Fire (which actually doesn't come out until mid November) I should receive it in a little more than a month. I am excited. Now we can finally watch movies during church ;-0!
- Adam was saying some abnoxious things to Ruth (not really being mean). Ruth responded, "You are a jerk. Die!" So she was in trouble. Ruth had to do two things that Adam wanted her to do. This usually involves doing chores for the other person, but instead Adam wanted Ruth to play New Super Mario Bros Wii with him, and to fast for 20 days!
- Adam is always saying, "Mom, can I tell you something?" So Joseph without knowing what it means has been saying, "Mom, can I tell you something?" I really think Joseph experiments with word phrases.
- Kate joined Ruth's Shakespeare class because I went to talk to the mom who does the class, and she meant the other students. Kate then decided it was worth reading Shakespeare to go.They also have weekend movies with this group.
- At the pool, when the lifeguard isn't looking, Adam does front hand springs into the water. I think that is pretty cool for a 6 year old. When he swims a little better, I will put him into a diving class. I have these dreams of Adam being a gymnast olympian. But dreams are all those are. We are too poor to give my talented little boy any lessons. Still, Ruth and Adam have both been decent gymnast, and I LOVE watching them.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Dear Husband Turns 40
Feminism: Good or Bad
The feminist movement has done a lot to change the world. Today, more than ever before women have a say in the world. Prior to the feminist movement women were not allowed in most universities, women could not vote and women could not hold many jobs. From reading the bible, it seems like women were often treated more like possessions. That seemed to slowly change in the western nations. Until just a little over 100 years ago when women were given the right to vote, and then things began changing rapidly for women. 100 years ago the women working for woman's sufferage did a lot of good. I am grateful that I can vote and wear pants, and that I could go to college and improve my mind. These things are good things. These things have helped women. But today, feminism is not just about becoming educated, voting, and wearing pants. Today feminism is not good.
Today feminist women reject their very nature. The very idea of being a wife and a mother are scorned. As a result women who give up careers to stay home with their children are looked down upon. Being a mother is second to almost anything else. Many of my high school friends chose not to become parents until they had post graduate degrees, a house, a savings account, a beautiful nursery and full time career and were over 30 years of age. Those who started families younger seem happier.
Media portrays women as being strong warriors (take Tangled for example) that can fight better than men. Women are portrayed as being the smartest and the best problem solvers. These same smart, warrior women are very sexualized. Their bodies are there on display. Media also portrays women as promiscuous. In media women are shown sleeping around and showing off their bodies. Billboards all around my city show women in underwear and bikinis advertising plastic surgery. This is the image my daughters are growing up with. They are expected to be sexy warriors and corporate geniuses who desire to give their bodies to anyone.
In general, media leaves the roll of motherhood to the stupid, the unambitious, the dull and old fashioned. Children are considered a burden and both husband and children are only trophies for later in life-- later, after college and career and plenty of promiscuity. This has become a part of common thinking. I have had people see my children and ask me why I ruined my life. My oldest daughter has argued that she knows women are better athletes, and warriors because of what she has learned in the movies and at school. Even watching the Olympics does not change that perspective for her.
From all of this, feminism has robbed women of what is most joyful and fulfilling. Staying home and raising children, cleaning home and making things beautiful, cooking and cleaning for your one and only true love are all good and part of the very nature of women. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it states, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." This is not just because women are better at nurturing, but because it is the very nature of a woman to nurture. Most little girls don't dream of becoming great warriors or corporate geniuses. Most little girls hold their dolls and dream of becoming a wife and a mother. Little girls seem to be born dreaming about and looking for their true love. Feminism, while good when it gave women freedom to become educated is now bad in that it takes away from women what will most make them happy.
Today feminist women reject their very nature. The very idea of being a wife and a mother are scorned. As a result women who give up careers to stay home with their children are looked down upon. Being a mother is second to almost anything else. Many of my high school friends chose not to become parents until they had post graduate degrees, a house, a savings account, a beautiful nursery and full time career and were over 30 years of age. Those who started families younger seem happier.
Media portrays women as being strong warriors (take Tangled for example) that can fight better than men. Women are portrayed as being the smartest and the best problem solvers. These same smart, warrior women are very sexualized. Their bodies are there on display. Media also portrays women as promiscuous. In media women are shown sleeping around and showing off their bodies. Billboards all around my city show women in underwear and bikinis advertising plastic surgery. This is the image my daughters are growing up with. They are expected to be sexy warriors and corporate geniuses who desire to give their bodies to anyone.
In general, media leaves the roll of motherhood to the stupid, the unambitious, the dull and old fashioned. Children are considered a burden and both husband and children are only trophies for later in life-- later, after college and career and plenty of promiscuity. This has become a part of common thinking. I have had people see my children and ask me why I ruined my life. My oldest daughter has argued that she knows women are better athletes, and warriors because of what she has learned in the movies and at school. Even watching the Olympics does not change that perspective for her.
From all of this, feminism has robbed women of what is most joyful and fulfilling. Staying home and raising children, cleaning home and making things beautiful, cooking and cleaning for your one and only true love are all good and part of the very nature of women. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it states, "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." This is not just because women are better at nurturing, but because it is the very nature of a woman to nurture. Most little girls don't dream of becoming great warriors or corporate geniuses. Most little girls hold their dolls and dream of becoming a wife and a mother. Little girls seem to be born dreaming about and looking for their true love. Feminism, while good when it gave women freedom to become educated is now bad in that it takes away from women what will most make them happy.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I am a Finalist
Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity has been doing some neat things around General Conference. One contest was a photo contest of your family during General Conference. On a whim, I submitted my sustaining the apostle's while eating donuts photo. And to my great surprise, I am one of three finalist. So if you feel inclined, please go here and vote for me. But, I have to admit, the the first picture is way better than mine. It is very beautifully done. So if you feel inclined to vote for a different picture, it won't hurt my feelings.
Frustration
At home, home school is going great. Life is peaceful. The kids are studying hard, and learning well. They are doing great with me being their teacher. They are enjoying what they are learning and they are getting along well with each other. Not at home, home school is going terribly. I am having a very hard time finding a group of home school families to associate with. We have one. They are great. We get along very well and respect them a lot. My daughters' love their daughters'. Our boys all love computers games and that is enough for them, and the mom and I get along well. Ruth has a Shakespeare class and that is the highlight of her week. But that is all.
My experiences with the rest of the homeschooling community have been weird at best. We have gone on a field trip with 150 other homeschoolers. But no one talked to us, except for one little boy who made friends with Adam. I talked to other parents, but they merely answered my questions. I could not lead them into conversation. The older girls there hung to their parents and really didn't extend themselves outside their own family. I think it was rather depressing for Ruth. I tried to hold park days, but no one came. I quit wasting my time. I am trying to begin a teen/preteen monthly fun activity. For September, I set it up for us to go roller skating. Our friends daughters came, one woman had me take her two children, and I met one other mother with a 13 year old boy. The next day, I found out there were other people there, but that the adults were too shy to meet me. How weird is that?
We went to the homeschooling swimming day. Only one or two other families were there. I tried talking to a mother-- nothing. I tried talking to her children and they swam away and left the rec center. I don't want to be too critical, but this is just downright weird. I feel like I am the victim of false advertising. You always hear the argument that home schooled children are more social because they can talk to people of all ages and are at ease. In my experience thus far, that is just not true. The parents and children I have met that seem to be happy and friendly and social are the parents and children with large families. I don't want to be critical, but it is true that this has been the weirdest social experience of my life. My friend has said some similar things. She is moving and they have joined a group in Utah county and she has said that she has been impressed with how good and social the children out there are.
I have considered putting them back in school. Kate said she won't go because her home school work is so much more interesting. Adam has to be wearing an eye patch for 3 hours a day to save the vision in his left eye. He can't wear it at school and homeschool is the best way to get the patch on while he is doing a lot of sit down concentration work. Ruth would go back today, but John won't let her. Rachel would like to go to school. I won't send Johnny back to school. He needs too strong of an academic setting. School was hurting Johnny. Really, home school has a lot of positives. But I want my kids to be at ease with their peers. I also want my kids to have support with other homeschool children. It is good to have a peer support group when doing something different from 90% of the population.
There is one disclaimer in this whole circumstance. A lot of people home school their children because they do not thrive in the social environment at schools or because they have certain disabilities. That is different. I think the part that frustrates me the most is the adults who will not talk to me.
I am going to keep trying. I have a couple of ideas. Ruth has her Shakespeare class in Salt Lake with about 15 other teenagers. I am going to talk to the mother who hosts this group, and see if there is a coop or something we can join in the Salt Lake area. If that does not pan out, we will join our friends in Utah county. I am also going to continue doing my teen activity night. Next time, I am going to have the people who come register and then have a get to know you activity before we do the real fun stuff. There is still hope, but I am very frustrated with the social part of homeschooling.
My experiences with the rest of the homeschooling community have been weird at best. We have gone on a field trip with 150 other homeschoolers. But no one talked to us, except for one little boy who made friends with Adam. I talked to other parents, but they merely answered my questions. I could not lead them into conversation. The older girls there hung to their parents and really didn't extend themselves outside their own family. I think it was rather depressing for Ruth. I tried to hold park days, but no one came. I quit wasting my time. I am trying to begin a teen/preteen monthly fun activity. For September, I set it up for us to go roller skating. Our friends daughters came, one woman had me take her two children, and I met one other mother with a 13 year old boy. The next day, I found out there were other people there, but that the adults were too shy to meet me. How weird is that?
We went to the homeschooling swimming day. Only one or two other families were there. I tried talking to a mother-- nothing. I tried talking to her children and they swam away and left the rec center. I don't want to be too critical, but this is just downright weird. I feel like I am the victim of false advertising. You always hear the argument that home schooled children are more social because they can talk to people of all ages and are at ease. In my experience thus far, that is just not true. The parents and children I have met that seem to be happy and friendly and social are the parents and children with large families. I don't want to be critical, but it is true that this has been the weirdest social experience of my life. My friend has said some similar things. She is moving and they have joined a group in Utah county and she has said that she has been impressed with how good and social the children out there are.
I have considered putting them back in school. Kate said she won't go because her home school work is so much more interesting. Adam has to be wearing an eye patch for 3 hours a day to save the vision in his left eye. He can't wear it at school and homeschool is the best way to get the patch on while he is doing a lot of sit down concentration work. Ruth would go back today, but John won't let her. Rachel would like to go to school. I won't send Johnny back to school. He needs too strong of an academic setting. School was hurting Johnny. Really, home school has a lot of positives. But I want my kids to be at ease with their peers. I also want my kids to have support with other homeschool children. It is good to have a peer support group when doing something different from 90% of the population.
There is one disclaimer in this whole circumstance. A lot of people home school their children because they do not thrive in the social environment at schools or because they have certain disabilities. That is different. I think the part that frustrates me the most is the adults who will not talk to me.
I am going to keep trying. I have a couple of ideas. Ruth has her Shakespeare class in Salt Lake with about 15 other teenagers. I am going to talk to the mother who hosts this group, and see if there is a coop or something we can join in the Salt Lake area. If that does not pan out, we will join our friends in Utah county. I am also going to continue doing my teen activity night. Next time, I am going to have the people who come register and then have a get to know you activity before we do the real fun stuff. There is still hope, but I am very frustrated with the social part of homeschooling.
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