John was supposed to hear back from that job that he had the exam on and he did not. I want him to contact them since they did not follow through, but he does not want to. I really am having a hard time. The kids were sick with a bad cold and a runny nose. They do not like school here for the most part, so they always want to be out of school. I miss being able to leave my little ones unattended and know they are safe and just take a nap. I am tired and unhappy. The kids are feeling the same way. We want our home so desperately. We want our stuff. I miss our piano like crazy. Playing the piano has been my stress reliever for years. I miss playing Christmas carols. I miss singing with my daughters around the piano. We want our kids to be able to sleep in their beds. We have 8 kids sleeping in the room with John and I. 7 of them are sleeping on the floor. I am praying and fasting and trying to be patient, faithful, and cheerful. I try and work hard, but I am 18 weeks pregnant and just so exhausted. I have never been so stretched and tested in all my life. The unusual thing is that we have money. We've never had any money, though I can easily see it disappearing quickly. This past year we went so many weeks unable to buy groceries and just having to eat food storage. Now we have food, but miss our old life. To ease this burden on our children, we are renting a vacation home on the North Carolina shore for the Christmas week. We will check in on the 24th and out on the 1st. That will give our kids a week where they can do the things they like, like build with legos and craft, and play games. They will all get a bed for a whole week for Christmas. John and I will have our own private bedroom and bathroom. We will get to see the ocean and even put our feet in the water. It is winter, so it will not be like a summer beach trip, but the island we are staying on will be pretty deserted, and that will be nice. The whole thing is only costing $1400 for 12 people for 8 nights. It's more money than we have ever spent on a vacation, but we happen to have the money and it is probably the best Christmas present we can get for ourselves and our children. I will keep trying to be patient, faithful, and cheerful. My kids need me to be strong and I care about them too much to allow my own emotions take over my ability to take care of them. I know that God loves us, is watching out for us, knows our situation, and will eventually help us get back on our feet. Only three more weeks of 2015. I thought 2015 would be a good healing year for our family. Instead it has been a harder year where we have had.
This Week's Pictures
5 comments:
My heart breaks for your situation! Love you so much.
Prayers are being sent for you and your sweet family. I am happy that you are going to have a break away with just your family. I loved all your sweet pictures. I do know that this too will pass and you will receive the blessings in the Lord's timing. Patience is a virtue we all struggle with. Sending prayers, love and hugs your way!
That vacation sounds heavenly! I hope it can help. Are you going to have a 20 week ultrasound or are you waiting until you know where you will be and who will be delivering you? Love you all. Miss you.
When I read this post about wanting your own place a thought popped into my head. You're welcome to rent our house. We were planning to put it on the market and use the proceeds to pay off debt we accrued the past 2.5 years while Nathan was unemployed/underemployed. But I'd love to help anyway I can and this is all I thought of. I can't imagine having that many children sleeping in my bedroom night after night! Our house is only 3 bedrooms, so you'd still be squished, but we're willing to rent it for about $900, which is our mortgage. You can see pictures of it on my blog and email me your thoughts. mhholladay@gmail.com We live in Winterville, so I guess you'd have the problem of John finding a job around here. He could always tutor at the community college down the street and substitute at the public schools like Nathan did while he looks.:)
You are amazing and sooo strong. I love to read about your feelings as I've had similar ones.They're so honest and you're such a great example to all your readers.
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