A Very Mathematical Family

girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, boy, girl

Update on HB 363

HB 363 did pass out of committee, but it was so amended that it is not the same law that was presented and will not have the same impact, in my opinion.

It was definitely an interesting day at the capitol. Ruth and Kate came and got to hear all of the arguments for and against abstinence only education. They left feeling rather emotional and unhappy with a couple of other teenagers complaining they "needed" more sex ed. Ruth and Kate never liked their maturation classes.

A couple arguments I liked were: when the presenter of the law said, "What do we need sex ed for anyway? What would you rather have your 5th and 6th graders doing? Spending a half hour a day reading, or a half hour a day learning about sex?" 

My second favorite argument was from a lawyer who said, "I am a lawyer, and I have 10 children. I fought with the principal to get my children out of these classes, and I think all of my children learned plenty about sex because I already have 40 grandchildren." Everyone laughed at that one.

I am surprised at how much I am enjoying politics. Six years ago I felt guilty because I never did anything to help in family law and it just seemed laws were changing for the worse at such a fast pace. Still, I always thought, later, I am busy with too many children. I cannot do this. My own family is too important. Honestly, I didn't want to get involved. Now I am even more busy with my family. I think I have slowly had a change of heart. I can do this, even though it is hard.

Time to Act: Utahns

Do you remember the New National Sexuality Standards?

"For the past four years the American Association of Health Education, the American School Health Association, the National Education Association – Health Information Network, the Society of State Leaders of Health and Physical Education, Advocates for Youth, Answer, and the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States have been working on and authoring a national sexuality program to create a national sexuality education standard to advance the implementation of sexuality education in US public schools."


Well, Utahns, now is the time to act. I received this From Laura Bunker, President of United Families Utah

"HB 363 Health Education Amendments needs your support right away.  We are expecting a great deal of opposition on this one, but you can help. Please contact the members of the House Education Committee below before 3:30 p.m. Thursday and respectfully urge them to support this important bill for Utah's students. We also need your presence in the House Education Committee meeting Thursday Feb 9 at 4:00 p.m. in room 445 of the Capitol.  Better yet, bring your teenagers. This bill is for them."

Rep. Francis D. Gibson, Chair  fgibson@le.utah.gov
Rep. Gregory H. Hughes  greghughes@le.utah.gov
Rep. Rebecca D. Lockhart blockhart@le.utah.gov
Rep. John G. Mathis jmathis@le.utah.gov
Rep. Kay L. McIff  kaymciff@le.utah.gov
Rep. Merlynn T. Newbold mnewbold@le.utah.gov
Rep. Marie H. Poulson  mariepoulson@le.utah.gov
Rep. Kraig Powell kraigpowell@le.utah.gov
Rep. Kenneth W. Sumsion  ksumsion@le.utah.gov
Rep. Carol Spackman Moss  csmoss@le.utah.gov
Rep. Patrice M. Arent  parent@le.utah.gov
Rep. LaVar Christensen  lavarchristensen@le.utah.gov
Rep. Rebecca P. Edwards beckyedwards@le.utah.gov
Rep. Steve Eliason  seliason@le.utah.gov  

This is the best way to stop the National Sexuality Standards from entering our schools. So please, just take a few minutes to email the house members on this committee.  

Thanks,
Diane

The Big Question for Traditional Marriage

Tuesday, February 7, 2012 the 9th cirtcuit court of appeals  ruled California’s ban on gay marriage unconstitutional. 

In the 2-1 ruling, the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco said Proposition 8 took rights away from a vulnerable minority without benefiting parents, children or the marital institution.

Judge Stephen Roy Reinhardt declared, that Proposition 8 "serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples… The Constitution simply does not allow for laws of this sort."

This ruling applies to California only. Instead of declaring gay marriage a federal right, the judges took a different approach, ruling that the effect of amending the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage after same-sex couples had already enjoyed that right is unequal treatment  and in violation of the 14^th amendment’s equal protection clause.

The three judge panel of the 9^th circuit court of appeals gave supporters of proposition 8, time to appeal the ruling before California could resume same sex marriages.

Andy Pugno, lawyer for the Prop. 8 campaign committee stated, “We will immediately appeal this misguided decision that disregards the will of more than 7 million Californians who voted to restore marriage as the unique union of only a man and a woman.”

As soon as the appeal is made, Proposition 8 will be headed for the Supreme Court of the United States. The Supreme Court receives approximately 10,000 cases per year and hears around 80 of these cases.

The Big Question for supporters of traditional marriage has now become:

What is it better for traditional marriage?

One, the Supreme Court does not grant hearing to the Proposition 8 trial, Judge Reinhardt’s decision is final and only applies to California, or

Two, the Supreme Court grants Proposition 8 hearing and the constitutionality of same sex marriage is decided by 9 people?


What do you think?



The official statement from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can be found here.

 

Thoughts on Changing Behavior

Before I had children, I thought that I was doing pretty well on the path to perfection. For instance, I never lost my temper with anyone. I really felt like I loved everyone and had general goodwill towards my fellowmen.

Then Ruth turned two. While I was checking out our books, Ruth followed another family out of the public library onto one of the busier roads in Ann Arbor, MI.  I was terrified and furious! On the way home in the car, I found myself yelling. (I hadn't done that since I was quite a bit younger.) I realized that I was not immuned to anger like I thought I was.

At that point in time, changing my behavior became a real issue. I yelled. I got angry. I felt like I had slipped down quite a bit on the path. At the same point in time. Changing the behavior of my children became a consistent issue as well. Parenthood had given me something new to work out.

So all these 12-ish years later, I still have to work (mostly on a daily basis) on my temper. Kids just do that to you. And I still have to work (mostly on a daily basis) on my children's behavior. Kids just do that to you too.


I wanted to list a few things, that I have found that work, and a few things that do not.

1. Daily rewards for good behavior. Sounds good. Psychologists even support this idea. I have found that it hardly ever works for any long term change. We can make this work well for potty training, but that is about it. Why? Because, myself or my kids work for the reward. When the reward is gone, we quit and we are back to where we started. We had this happen a few years back. If our kids did everything they were suppose to for family prayer, we gave them a piece of candy. After three months of perfect prayer behavior, we stopped giving candy. The kids immediately stopped behaving for family prayer. It just plain old doesn't work.
2. One big reward at the end of a long period of changed behavior. This works. It seems to give one enough time to really change a bad habit or get into a good habit. For example, one summer we all worked on one habit change for a trip to an amusement park. This worked, and better habits were formed.Right now, Rachel cannot spend her Christmas money until she doesn't pinch for 30 days. At this point (21 days of no pinching) I would have to say a habit has been changed. Rachel no longer seems to think, "You are bugging me, I must pinch you."
3. Teaching doctrine rather than behavior. Teaching the gospel, daily personal and family scripture reading work wonders! Once when Ruth was acting rather angry about some of our house rules. I said nothing about her behavior. I just gave her a few conference talks to read. She read them, and that was the end of the anger. For me, daily scripture reading means the difference between a calm voice and a loud voice.
4. Nagging over a long period of time. It doesn't work. One just feels picked on. In fact, I think this can even produce the opposite affect that you want it to. But it sure is easy to do.
5. Time outs. This works well for little kids, especially if you do it consistently for the same thing over a long period. I do this for temper tantrums, and I have had great success for everyone of my kids. It works terribly for older kids. Time out is a reward for anyone about 9 and older. Never send a teenager to their room. 
6. Chores. This seems to really help with long term behavior change. When I have a teenager that is throwing 2 year old fits all over again, making them work, works wonders. It helps me too. If I am frustrated or angry, a lot of house work calms me down and helps me to be sane. This also works well for the 3 or 4 year throwing a fit, but is harder for a parent to follow through.
7. Talking about behavior. For bad habits, this works about as well as nagging. Pointing out behaviors that makes one happy versus behaviors that makes one miserable before a bad habit is formed seems to help. I will know more about that as my children grow older.

What are some of your ideas for changing behavior?

I Bet You Are Glad This Wasn't You

We decided that we would take one child out on a date per paycheck. This week was Rachel's turn. John took her out to Denny's for a kids meal. Rachel sat across from John in a booth. She started to get wiggley. Then she kind of sniffed around in her seat. Then Rachel moved over into the seat next to John. She stood up, leaned over the top of the booth above the person in the other booth, turned around, and in a very normal voice declared, "Oh, that is what I smell."

Guest Writer For United Families International

I am a writer over at The United Families International today. So please go here, and check out what I have to say about religious Freedom.