When I was half way through the pregnancy with Joshua, I was really struggling. I wanted it to be my last pregnancy. 8 children with 4 boys and 4 girls seemed perfect. I wanted to be done. So I kept praying over and over and asking if this baby was the last. Could we be done having children? I never received an answer to that prayer. Later, when I calmed down and quit asking to be done, I got an answer. My answer was that there is one more boy that is suppose to come to my family.
Okay, I thought, just one more pregnancy. I was going to wait a while this time, though. I wanted to get into better physical shape so that a pregnancy at an older age would be easier. With just one more pregnancy, I thought it would be okay to wait until I was 37 to get pregnant.
But, I got pregnant as if we had used no birth control. So I thought, well, I guess that boy is coming sooner. No biggy. I will get into shape after this one, because then I will be done having children. My family is going to finally be complete.
Friday, I found out that I am having a girl. Funny, but the room got silent when the doctor said that. I smiled and said, "well, the pattern is not broken." I was wondering what had I gotten wrong.
John was the last in our household to find out about the baby, and he was ecstatic! John wanted a girl and was sad that we weren't going to have another daughter. I casually mentioned the boy thing. John shrugged it off.
Saturday night, we went to the Temple. While in the temple, I prayed earnestly to know what the Lord would want me to do. Occasionally, I do this. I wasn't even thinking about having more children. But, that was the answer I received. I knew I was not wrong about there being another boy.
John and I went to dinner afterwards. When I felt brave enough, I told him that I knew I was not wrong about the boy. I know there is another boy that is suppose to come to our family, and as much as I hate it, I know that means another pregnancy after this one. John mentioned excitedly, that he had received the same revelation, but was afraid to tell me.
So like Nephi, "I will go and do the things which the Lord has commanded..." This little girl is not my last child. This pregnancy is not my last pregnancy. I may be unhappy at the thought of another pregnancy, and I am sure there are lots of people out there that already disapprove of how many children I already have. But none of that matters. Heavenly Father knows better than I do. So that is who I will follow.
9 comments:
I loved this one. I love the thought that you will go and do what the Lord wants you to do. You both are awesome and I know that you have some special spirits in your home right now and that adding two more will just bring more joy in your home.
Congratulations on the coming of that sweet little one.
Blessings to you for this one.
Your family (size, spacing and raising) is yours. It's between you (plural) and the Lord, and nobody else has any right to "disprove" of it. I'm glad you know that because it means that your family will be exactly the size it should be. :) However, I'm tired for you.
Congratulations! It is so refreshing to know that other women pray and follow the Lord and do things that are hard! I feel the same way about my pregancies. I have a really hard time physically, lots of problems and when people got angry that I was having another (out of love and concern) all I could say is my prayers were confirmed and I am doing what the Lord wants. So, congrats! I think that's exciting and we will be blessed eternally for our sacrifices. (ps I feel that we have a little boy and I am praying to know if that means adoption or natural) But right now I have to take care my new 1 month old :)
That's so neat! It's so nice when the Lord gives us that revelation. I know when I get an answer like that, it helps carry me through the difficult times of pregnancy.
And it's also nice to know that the Lord will only give us the things that might be overwhelming in little bits and pieces. If I had known that I would have eleven children when I started, I would have freaked out! But one at a time doesn't feel like such a big deal. :)
And I agree with Amy: It's an important decision between you, your husband, and the Lord. I know how hard it can be to be berated and mocked (even by family members!) for following the Lord's plans for OUR FAMILY's childbearing. But I also know we will be blessed if we quietly go about raising these precious spirits unto the Lord.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Diane,
First let me say CONGRATULATIONS! A baby girl - I miss pink...my baby girl is 6 now...
That leads me to the other thing I wanted to share. While we've only just had #7 I do understand some of what you're feeling. A few weeks before I gave birth to Daniel (#4) God impressed on my heart that we would have a daughter and she would be named Rebecca. I also got the feeling that she might not be the only one, but that she was the specific one God wanted me to know was waiting for her turn. I was at a point where I had been praying about being finished having children along with my husband. He, too, got the answer we weren't done, though not the specifics. I was a bit overwhelmed at the idea of another (I'm one of 2 kids). However, I figured, okay, I can make it through one more pregnancy. It was late 2007, I was 26. Since then we've had one miscarriage and 3 MORE BOYS - Oliver, Caleb, and Mason. Every time I go in for that ultrasound I wonder if it will finally be Rebecca. This last time I really thought it would be. We finally knew what her middle name was to be even - Rebecca Joy. Imagine my surprise when it was Mason.
I still know by the spirit that Rebecca is coming to our family through birth, so obviously I've got at least one more pregnancy to go. And my spacings don't seem to be getting longer yet - only one of the spacings in all my pregnancies has had the previous baby at age 2 when the new one arrives. And you know Caleb had just turned 13 months old when Mason was born last month.
I wonder if God has me mixed up with some other woman who is capable and enjoys pregnancy sometimes. LOL. Still, I look forward to when Rebecca comes, even if it's not for another 4 pregnancies. I may go a bit crazy until we get there though!
Wow Diane, that's special. I'm scared to know how many more there are waiting to come to our family, so we just go one at a time (or 2), but I feel I'm closer to being done with each one. Way to keep going!!
I think it's wonderful that you're so prayerful about it and are doing what you know is the right thing for your family. Congratulations on your girl!
Good luck! You are amazing and I'm glad that you follow the Lord.
It's funny, cause I've always felt there's a boy coming to our family, too. Well, after 4 girls in a row....I'm kinda thinking - anytime now would be great! Don't really want to be the family with 7 girls and a token boy at the end....haha. But I kinda have a feeling that's where we're headed. I should probably follow your example and work on making my peace with that. =)
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