Thoughtful Thursday: Time to Take an Honest, Hard Look

I have been following the government shutdown, the debt ceiling debate and who is doing what. Here's what happened:

In the days before the government shutdown, the House of Representatives did their job by passing a bill to fund the government. The Senate refused to even debate the bill and the President said he would surely veto it. This happened at least three times before the government "shutdown" on Oct 1st.

During this time President Obama gave a few speeches saying that he was the one willing to compromise. The House passed three different bills-- three separate compromises-- and yet, the President and the Senate would not budge. The President and the Senate would not compromise.

The government shutdown began. As the House of Representatives continued to pass bill after bill giving more and more up for the President and and the Senate, the President made sure what things were shutdown were felt by the people. The President wanted to punish the citizens of the United States. He wanted the people to feel pain. He shut down the parks and spent more money using guards to keep people out than he would have to keep them open. The Presidential golf course stayed open.

The House continued trying to compromise without giving into everything the President wanted. On Oct 15th,  presidential staff announced that unless the government was "opened up" soon, food stamp money would be withheld for the month of November. The President planned to take food away from the poor. On Oct 16th, the House caved and the Senate took over and passed a bill that would please our President. The House did not block it.

The House should have blocked it. The President of the United States should not use food as a way to end all compromise between himself and the legislature.

Before the house even voted, President Obama gave a speech. He said,  "I want to thank the leadership for coming together and getting this done.  Hopefully, next time, it won't be in the 11th hour.  One of the things that I said throughout this process is we've got to get out of the habit of governing by crisis.  And my hope and expectation is everybody has learned that there is no reason why we can't work on the issues at hand, why we can't disagree between the parties while still being agreeable, and make sure that we're not inflicting harm on the American people when we do have disagreements." In actuality, it is the President's hope and expectation that the legislature has learned that he will not compromise, and if they withstand him, there will be harm to the nation.

In some of the final words of his speech, President Obama said, "So hopefully that’s a lesson that will be internalized..." Yes, the President wants the House, the Senate, and all of his subjects to remember that he has the power to inflict pain when we do not fully accept and embrace what he wants.

ps. I am certain that if the House withstood, the poor people in the United States would have had food. My sister, an Army vet, who did not receive her pay during the shutdown was given food and money by many, many people. She wanted for nothing.  I wish the House withstood, I wish our legislatures could have proven that they can stop our President who does not believe he is the head of a republic, but rather the head of a kingdom.

This Week at Our House #39

1. John had his 42nd birthday on Monday. It wasn't that big of a deal for him because he has been thinking and telling people that he is 42 for the last 6 months. Does that mean he is getting old?
2. I had another busy week. I had so many things I wanted to write about on this blog, but never had a moment to sit and write. Part of me is wondering when things are going to slow down and the other part of me is knowing that they will not until January. That's alright. I love the holidays! 
3. Ruth's doing great. She's enjoying high school, getting good grades, and enjoying her friends. She really couldn't have it better this school year.
4. Kate's still drowning in homework. Ninth grade was like that for Ruth, so this is definitely a get through it year for Kate. She mentioned on Wednesday that she misses homeschool. I offered to take her back, but she declined. She wants to stick it out. 
5. Johnny had a good week. John got a big new nerdy board game for his birthday and Johnny got to spend a lot of time with Dad playing the game. I was also able to find a book for him at the library that he has neither read and he really liked.
6. Adam had a lot of homework this week. On Wednesday, he didn't finish his homework until 11pm. That seems a little much for 3rd grade, but I think Adam spent most of that time goofing off and doing other things.
7. Rachel had a fun week. I had parent teacher conferences for her. She is finally reading well, she is very nice and friendly to everyone in her class, and she is using her big imagination to tell stories to everyone.
8. Anya's doing so well in school. Legacy Prep has an advanced reading program and she can sound words out so well. I am sure she will be a good reader by the end of kindergarten.
9. Joseph was a super hero this week. Joseph, Anya, and Josh were taking a bath in our big deep tub when Arwen walked in and dove face first into the deep water. John was nearby in our "toilet room". Joseph immediately grabbed her up, put her out of the tub and alerted John. I am so grateful to have such a quick thinking 4 year old boy.
10. Last week, I switched the summer clothes for the winter clothes. This week Josh has decided that he hates all clothes. He throws a big fit every time he is dressed and keeps the fit going until he is in nothing more than a diaper. He fussed all through Costco on Wednesday. Then later when I let him run around without clothing, he cried that he was cold. Still he would not put clothes on. I think he needs to be Captain Underpants for Halloween because he's not putting on any other costume. 
11. Well, Arwen could have drowned. We are very thankful she is safe and well. She's walking around and getting into all the cupboards and drawers. She pulls the books off the shelves, and pushes toys all over the house. I think she has officially gained toddler status. Still, I like her as my little baby.

This Week's Pictures

Crazy Hair Day at school, but I think she looks more darling than crazy

We had our church Trunk or Treat and Halloween Party quite early this year. Ruth and Kate were off decorating, so they did not make the group picture. And of course, wrestling Josh into clothes was all he could handle.

This Week at Our House #38

1. We had General Conference this weekend!!!! We love General Conference. John bought all of the junk food for our conference weekend. He did a pretty good job because no one complained about there not being enough snacks and there were no left overs. 
2. As I said in the previous post. I wrote a controversial religious article for a Well Behaved Mormon Woman blog. I spent much of the week on that responding and thinking about responses. I absolutely LOVED General Conference. My most personal questions were answered as well as my general ones. It has been an amazing weekend.
3. Ruth takes lots and lots of very careful notes during General Conference now. That is pretty awesome because when I can't remember who said what, Ruth always knows.
4. Kate is still trudging along with math and all of her other homework. Friday she had a party with an old homeschool friend. That really lifted her spirits.
5. Johnny is getting busier in the evenings now with young men activities, scout activities, friends, and such. He had a scout camp out and a birthday party both on Friday night. Johnny ended choosing the birthday party because of the weather.
6. Adam got to attend the second Saturday session of conference with me in the Conference Center. He was pretty wiggly and asked a few times when it was going to end. I know he felt the Spirit there and whenever someone asked what he thought about it, he threw his arms into the air and said, "It was GREAT!"
7. Rachel lost her 7th tooth. She has now lost more teeth than Adam. 
8. I so want to cut Anya's hair. She hates getting it combed and brushed and put up. She cries every time. But she insists on trying to grow her hair like Rapunzel.
9. I've been trying to get Joseph to spend as much time as possible before it gets much colder. When I asked Joseph what he did this week, he said that all he did was jump on the tramp.
10. Joshua hung himself on our blind strings Saturday morning while I was cleaning the bathrooms and John was still sleeping. Adam was sitting right next to him and I had to scream his name again and again before he even noticed and helped. I was upstairs and the boys were downstairs watching "Avatar the Last Airbender" on the computer. The ends of the two strings had been tied together for some time. He stood up on the back of the couch, put his head between the strings and then either jumped or slipped down. I stepped out of the bathroom for a moment and heard him crying. It was a truly terrifying experience. He has sharp string marks all around his neck. I don't usually leave while I am cleaning the bathrooms. I know there was some Divine intervention in saving little Joshua's life. I will be getting rid of the blinds now.  Curtains are good things.
11. Arwen can walk really fast now. The first few times she walked fast, she stopped and clapped. 

This Week's Pictures

This is the fortune John got in his cookie on our date. We thought it was pretty funny and probably had a typo. But hey, this is the first fortune we can really count on to be true.

Snuggling with Grandma during General Conference

End of Conference dinner

I got the winter clothes all switched over. That is sure a big task in this house because of how I have to pull out all of the bins.

Thoughtful Thursday: "My yoke is Easy and My Burden is Light"

I wrote a post for the Celebration on the Family Proclamation at A Well Behaved Mormon Woman blog. I took a risk and wrote a topic that elicits strong emotions from nearly everyone: gender. And it did.
I want to address some of the negative comments.

I will start with one negative comment that wasn't actually published. In it, he quoted Matthew 22:36-40:

"36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

He was making the point that one disobeys the second greatest commandment by writing, declaring, and even believing that gender is an essential characteristic of premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. This is the most common argument by anyone who is offended at the idea that people are born the gender that they were in the premortal life as well as offended at the idea that homosexuality is a sin.

I argue that one is not disobeying the second greatest commandment by believing the teachings of the prophets and the teachings found in the scriptures.  Jesus said, "If ye love me, keep my commandments," (John 14:15). The idea that one breaks God's second commandment by believing and declaring some of His other commandments rejects the first and great commandment to "love the Lord, thy God.". One cannot both love God and reject any of His commandments including the unpopular ones on marriage, family, and gender. Jesus who has perfect love taught us when he said,"neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more" (John 8:11). If we are to keep the second commandment we cannot pretend there is no such thing as sin.

Now to another negative comment:

"I am sorry. But this is very hurtful. I have a Son who aligns with the "Male Role and identity" I have a daughter that aligns with the "Female Role and identity". I also have a beautiful transgender daughter (born male). They were all raised the same. You have no idea how painful this journey is for not only the parents but more importantly the child. It seems you have not read the churches stance on transgender persons as well. Nor do you have any understanding of science behind it. Please don't assume that my child is Satan's grasp, or that I as a parent failed to indoctrinate my child in the ways of manhood. You isolate and condemn those who are suffering and struggling."

I will respond by saying, exactly!! Families who struggle with gender identity are on a painful journey. That pain can be relieved. But it cannot be relieved by rejecting God's commandments. Jesus said, " Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light," (Matthew 11:29-30). Every man, woman, and child born into this world has been given this invitation. How do you "take [His] yoke upon you"? By keeping His commandments.

We cannot be people that are both loving, compassionate, and understanding while rejecting God's commandments. We must not condemn, but if everyone is afraid to teach the unpopular commandments then no one will know where to go to find rest to their souls. To be a loving person, one must not ignore the source where peace, love, and rest is found.

This Week at Our House #36

1. John worked his first full work week in 6 full months. We are all so happy about that and have been praying and praying that he will be successful and love his job. We also fixed the minivan, so now we have two working cars.
2. I had a party for a couple of my friends who are moving away from UT on Saturday. I had the party at my Mother in Laws house because her house has a big beautiful yard that kids love. After the party we went to Relief Society General Conference. All summer long, I had been trying to understand what to "endure it well" means besides the obvious don't lose your faith. This week, I decided that it probably means how you treat people when things are hard for you. During conference, we were told that keeping your covenants means to love.  "Enduring well" is simply keeping your covenants, and that has a whole lot to do with how you treat other people. And then I was reminded that "charity suffereth long, and is kind...endureth all things" I love General Conference and how my questions are always answered. I can't wait until next weekend when I get to listen to all of the prophets and apostles.
3. Ruth went to the Bountiful High/ Woodcross High football game on Friday night. That would be her first sporting event. She had a lot of fun. I think Ruth has reached the age where she will be wanting to hang out with her friends on the weekends some more. 
4. Kate's math teacher told us she is both smart and a hard worker (we know that) so he wants to let her continue to work hard and possibly even get in some calculus before the end of the school year. That is great and all, but we really do not want math to dominate Kate's life
5. I went to parent teacher conferences for all of the Legacy Prep kids this week. Johnny's gym teacher told me that other parent's expressed concern to him about having a younger kid in the class. Now that is weird to have people I do not know worrying about my kids.His gym teacher told me there is no problem because Johnny was doing all the same physical things as the other kids, and while his size and nerdiness make him target for bullying, Legacy Prep is a perfect match for Johnny. There are only 11 kids in his class and being smart at Legacy Prep is a good thing instead of a bad thing. Johnny is actually fairly respected in the school for being young, knowing all the answers, and getting straight A's. Last year when Johnny wasn't caring about his grades or anything, I spent a lot of time in prayer over the matter. One early spring morning, I jogged past Legacy Prep and had the thought that this was supposed to be Johnny's school. I am very glad I listened. I am also glad that I listened and took him out of public school, homeschooled him. Johnny passed the Sacrement for the first time today. I loved how cute he looked as he tried to suppress a smile while passing to our row.
6. Adam loves sports! He wants to play basketball this winter and now that John has a job, I can say YES! Hurrah. I get this little bit of time each morning to talk to just Adam. He always talks about playing soccer at school.
7. Rachel is walking home from school all by herself. She is safe because there are so many neighbors that are walking the same route. A teacher was giving me grief about how I had a big kid jump out and bring Rachel to the car. When I told Rachel that we would need a new meeting place, she refused. So I am now refusing to pick her up at all. But, I think this little bit of independence has been good for her and we will continue to have her walk home.
8. Anya is already starting to read pretty well. She sounds out words with ease. It's nice to have a child where this step is easy. 
9. Joseph loves to build with legos. I think it is great that he likes to make things from his imagination. He would build with legos all day if I let him. 
10. When Josh's hands get messy he does 2 funny things. First, he says, "I have a sticky," then he stands by the sink with his hands in the air and says, "wash my hands!"
11. Arwen is walking more than crawling now. She is also getting into all of the cupboards and the drawers. As she walks faster, I suspect we will have much bigger messes.

This Week's Pictures

Adam filled a diaper with water and put it under Rachel's pillow. She slept on it and unhappily found it in the morning. This is Rachel and Anya coming to tell on Adam.

Kate's lego Dalek

Thoughtful Thursday: Patience and Work

I am s l o w l y learning to handle life better. I am learning to continue on without fussing and just do what needs to be done. This is hard. It may seem easier to throw a tantrum and have other people grudgingly provide you with what you want. It may seem easier to borrow money to fix what's broken so your life can go on in convenience. It is much more satisfying to put aside those needy emotions and just work a little harder, and allow things to take a little longer. Being patient and working harder take more mental and physical effort, but in the end, things turn out better. There's no money that has to be paid back and the people around you are not unhappy with how you have behaved. Patience and Work are true virtues for a happy life.

This Week at Our House #35

1. John started work on Wednesday. The company is an infant start up company that is in the process of developing it's new product. John did better than I thought with having to get up and get going. After 6 months of being able to sleep in until 10am, he even made it out and ready in time to take the 7:30 am crowd to school. 
2. I miss John around the house, especially when I have to buckle all of my little kids in the car to run a quick errand or take Anya and Rachel to school. But, I am oh so glad that he is a working man once more. Things continue to break down around here. The day the van came home all fixed, the minivan's little problem became a big problem. The dish washer is having it's troubles now too. I am going to get some strong dishwasher cleaners in there and see if that helps. If not, we'll probably go dishwasherless until after Christmas. That is okay, though. I am learning to handle more things like that.
3. Ruth has a lot less homework this year, so she is more cheerful, helps more around the house, and hangs out with me more. I love that Ruth sits and tells me her day-in-detail each day after school. It breaks my heart to think she will be leaving the nest in three short years.
4. Kate continues to fight the homework fight. The poor girl spends 8 hours in school each day only to come home with 2 to 3 hours of homework. Ruth had a rough 9th grade year like that too. Kate has had some nice things too. She has been put on as the lead artist and designer for the school plays posters and t-shirts. 
5. My dear Johnny turned 12 this week. He had a birthday party with all of his friends on Friday, a small family party on Saturday, and then today he received the Aaronic Priesthood and enjoyed a family dinner with his favorite Aunt and Uncle and his grandparents. Johnny is such a good boy. He always has been. I knew he would be before he was born. I am grateful I get to be the parent of this amazing boy. He's smart, good, friendly, and caring.
6. I always get a little time each morning to talk to just Adam. After I drop the older kids off, I have a 5 to 10 minute drive with Adam. Adam has never been very talkative. I have to ask the questions to get him speaking. I love it, when we do talk. Adam is just a sweet boy.
7. Rachel always hunts me down and then talks and talks and talks to me. Each day after school, I get a behavioral report of a few of the boys in her class. It's pretty funny. I probably know more baout how these boys behave in school than their parents do.
8. Anya and Joseph have become very close this school year. I love seeing them play together every morning. Unfortunately, their favorite thing to do is play with Kate, Johnny, and Adam's lego creations.
9. Joseph cutely showed his Grandma all of his Hero Factory guys and told her all about them. He was more obedient this week and when I told him not to climb the banisters, he got right down.
10. Joshua likes to knock Arwen down or lay on top of her and wrestle. Why can't he wrestle his brothers?
11. Arwen is walking a whole lot more. She is not walking 100% of the time, but she will go half way across the room before she falls down.

This Week's Pictures

Johnny's Birthday Party