I post a lot of things about homosexuality, and against the homosexual agenda. I am sure by many, I am labelled a bigot. Guess what? That is okay with me. I know where I stand, I know why I stand where I stand, and I am sure about it. I will explain:
I am a loyal friend. I have always been so. I love to talk, and if someone will hang out with me and talk, I will love them! I do love them. I love people easily. I just have to know the person. All my life, I have collected friends. But not just any friends. I collect close friends. I am always the one to make the effort to stay in touch. And it is usually just me. Most people don't care. But I love people. I love my friends-- old and new. This is just me and has always been me. I conscientiously stop sending notes and emails to people when they don't respond. Recently, I have realized that is good, not bad or co-dependent. It is okay to love the people you know. And that is what I do. If I know you, it is likely I will love you and be happy to have you around and stay in touch after one of us moves away.
When I was 12, my neighbor's mother left her husband and three children for a lesbian relationship. The oldest child, who had behavior problems from that time forward, went to jail after high school, and not much later ended his own life. That was my first experience with a homosexual person.
When I was 14, I babysat for a women with two children. She had recently gotten divorced and was living with another woman. After a few months of babysitting these kids, my mother told me the woman was a lesbian. I didn't believe her. But I looked through the house and noticed there were only two bedrooms. The one with the queen bed for the two adults, and the smaller room with the bunk bed for the two children. The children did not know about their mother or sex or anything. They were 8 and 6. I didn't babysit them for many more months after I found out the relationship. I never said anything, but I felt bad for the kids.
When I was nearly 16, a girl my age moved to my area. We had a lot in common and became close friends very quickly. This girl, had an old boyfriend from her old state, who was bisexual. That was my third time hearing/ meeting some one with same sex attraction and behavior.
This friend and I were close friends. We spent most of our weekends together. This girl's parents called us lesbians. I was shocked! I had no feelings along those lines. I was shocked, disgusted, surprised. I had just turned 16. I had little experience with sex of any sort.I wondered why her parents would say that. I now wonder if she had leanings that way. I do not know.
Around this same time, 16, I formed a group of close friends in high school. There were about 5 of us, and the girl I mentioned above who I considered my best friend. All but this one girl considered themselves atheist. They would give me a lot of slack for believing in God. One time, one boy held me tight while another twisted my arm very hard behind my back. They kept hurting me more and more saying, "Say there is no God." (Good Friends, huh?) Eventually, they threw me on the dirty floor of the high school.
I stayed close friends with them for years. When, I was 17, the boy who twisted my arm, confided in me that he thought he was bisexual. I was okay with that. He had earlier shown me his masturbating journal, where he kept tally of every time he masturbated. He did make sexual advances toward me from time to time, but he knew my standards and I was firm.
When, I was 18 this same boy, told me he was just gay and introduced me to his boyfriend. I was still close friends with him, and now I was close friends with his partner. The first guy, told me he first thought he was gay when at 12, he kissed the boy he had to his house for a sleep over.
This boy's, time to time sexual advances toward me became more frequent after he decided he was gay. His partner did not do this. But the two of then would tell me that I was at least bisexual because of my best friend (who had moved away by this time.) These boys moved to college in January.
When, I was 18, after my other friends had all left, I became close friends with 3 other people. One girl, and two guys. One guy, Travis, I was very close to. We did not have a romantic relationship. He told me because of my moral standards and his desire for a sexual relationship, he would not "date me". We hung out and talked on the phone everyday. I really liked him a lot. I was his friend to talk to and he always had another girl to have sex with. I am really glad I did not change my standards for this guy. I really did like him a lot.
The summer before I left for college, I hung out with these 3 friends most days. The other boy in the group decided he was gay and liked Travis. The girl and I did not like this. we both liked Travis too. Nothing happened. When the one guy's advances didn't get accepted, he left our group of friends and joined the army.Travis and the other girl started a sexual relationship when I left for college.
I went to Rick's college. One of my friends roommates and her friend from home became physically close with another roommate. They were always sitting on each other's laps and sleeping in the same bed. They would say that they were just friends. It was so physical that everyone wondered. But mostly, at Ricks college, I had no experiences with homosexuality. I kept in touch with all of my friends from home, gay and straight through the old fashioned way of letter writing.
The fist summer after Ricks, I mainly hung out with Travis and the people I worked with-- there was one lesbian in the group. I had a fun summer and I dated a lot. Our high school group had broken up. Travis never let me go on a date a lone because he said he knew the guys intentions and wanted to protect me. I guess, I was naive. But it bothered me, and I would try to make Travis get a date to come along. He didn't always. I hung out with my old gay guy friends from time to time still too, but they were barely in town. Still, when we did get together, the one guy still made sexual advances. I was definitely friends with gay people but no matter what they said to me, I did not bend on my religious beliefs.
My second summer after I finished Rick's college was intense. My old best friend, the girl who moved near me when I was 15, was going to move in with me and work at the summer camp that I worked at. This didn't happen and the circumstances were odd. By this time, we were both 20. I was deep into depression, on medication, and really not very healthy. This girl did not end up moving in. Her father had her brothers beat her up as she left for the bus. He held her down at home. Then he wrote a letter to my mother saying that this girl and I were lesbians and we should not move in together and couldn't she realize this? Now, being a parent I wonder if this girl's father knew something I did not.
At the same time, I had made friend, a girl, who was bisexual. She would always kiss my cheek, hug me, and grab for my hand. She always told me that she knew I would be ready for a gay relationship soon. My first gay friend, and the other 3 people in my original high school group (who were at this time all gay or bisexual) kept telling me again and again that I was at least bisexual and that I needed to embrace it. I started to question myself, my long held LDS beliefs and all. These "friends" were very pushy. My parents and Travis advised me to stop hanging out with them. I was not good at letting go of friends. But I agreed with my parents not to go to an overnight party with my first high school friends.That was a good call.
At the end of the summer, I decided to go to the University of Michigan. There, I met John. We were best friends immediately. But friends was all for several months. He was shorter than I am, so there was no pressure to date or anything. One thing I loved about John was that he was a Latter Day Saint too, and he knew the gospel and followed it 100%. It was a relief to have a best friend that believed what I believed and encouraged me in those beliefs. Well, I married my bestest friend ever. I wrote or called all of my friends, and except for Travis, I never heard from them again. That made me sad. I knew they did not want me to marry and especially to marry a Mormon. I am so grateful I did. Because for the first time in my life, I was truly happy.
Part II soon
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